LEXIE pulls some toilet paper from under her shirt and uses it to blow her nose.
LEXIE
You always sound so grown up.
JESSICA
You always look so grown up. You’re definitely good at dressing to impress. I think you’re destined to be great onstage, Lex. You’re already a great actress.
LEXIE pulls free more toilet paper and blows her nose again. The GIRLS look at each other and start laughing. DANIELLE enters the bathroom and walks over and sits on LEXIE’s other side.
DANIELLE
How are you doing?
LEXIE
(wiping her face with toilet paper)
Better now.
DANIELLE
Peter got pretty mad in there watching you work with those other boys. He must like you.
LEXIE
Ewww! Peter! Yuck!
LEXIE walks over to the trash can and throws out her snotty tissues. Then she pulls the remaining toilet paper from under her top and tosses that. She turns and faces JESSICA and DANIELLE. They stand up.
LEXIE
I’m going to Mrs. Barton’s for the rest of the day. I’ll tell her I’m not feeling well.
LEXIE gestures to the classroom.
LEXIE
I can’t go back in there. Not flat as a board.
JESSICA
Don’t worry. We’ve got you covered.
LEXIE
Thanks.
JESSICA and DANIELLE smile. LEXIE leaves.
FADE OUT.
JESSICA VO
It felt good to help Lexie. That’s what friends are for. But what I didn’t realize is that Danielle and I had given her reason to start a romance, even though I should have seen it coming.
One of the things I’ve become better at this year is reading people. Just sit back, stay quiet, and watch and listen. What facial expressions is the person making? What gestures or body movements? What sounds, like huffs and puffs or weak sighs? It might sound tricky, but it’s not. It’s no different from knowing that a snarling dog, his teeth bared and fur standing up on his back, is telling you he’s not happy and to get away.
I’ve been doing this reading-people thing ever since the summer. I knew something big was going on at home, but I didn’t know what, so I studied my family members—Grandma and Grandpa mostly.
Did Grandma take time to fold her dish towel or did she throw it down? Did Grandpa talk at dinner or spend most of the time running his hands through his hair and over his face? Did they talk to themselves, as old people sometimes do when they have a lot on their minds?
Since discovering the “Land Wars” article I was the one with plenty to think about. I wasn’t as worried about reading everyone else as I was about learning more. I started scanning the headlines every time I found a paper, but I didn’t find any new news. The original article was actually from an older newspaper, so I wasn’t exactly sure where this land war stood now, and that made me uneasy. Because of this, our second Exchange Day was a welcome distraction.
It was easy for me to read Peter on Exchange Day number two. He was in my boat building group. There were several times when we had to say his name to get him to focus on our work instead of stare over at Lexie. The rest of my group thought he was trying to get ideas on how to build a good boat by looking to see what Luke was doing. While this was a sneaky strategy that made sense, I knew Peter was studying Lexie and those other boys.
That morning, I prayed for Lexie when I found her in the bathroom with all that toilet paper. I had already prayed for me before that. I wasn’t very comfortable in my clothes. Nothing fit right anymore. All of my pants were high-waters. A tiny part of me felt better after I found Lexie and saw that I wasn’t the only one with clothes not fitting right, but I hoped that wasn’t God’s way of answering my prayer.
And now I wonder if what happened was God’s way of teaching Lexie a lesson. His way of telling her they’d grow when it was time.
Peter’s wide eyes turned into a glare every time Lexie talked to those boys and every time they laughed. Peter got so mad he snapped the piece of Styrofoam he was holding right in half.
“Wha’d you do that for?” Josh, one of the visiting boys in our group, asked.
“I don’t know,” Peter said. “It was an accident. Here.” He tossed the broken pieces into the middle of our materials. “They’re making fun of her,” he hissed under his breath. “Doesn’t she know that?” He was talking to himself and didn’t realize I was listening.
Peter was mad that Lexie dared talk to other boys. And once she started flirting with them, Peter got madder than a cow getting milked for the first time. That was easy reading. He was jealous.
Peter didn’t see Lexie leave for the bathroom, but Jessica and I did. And it was easy to tell that Lexie was upset. It’s too bad Peter didn’t notice, because then maybe he would have seen that Lexie hadn’t fallen in love with those boys. Maybe then Peter would have calmed down a bit.
In the bathroom, I joined Jessica in trying to make Lexie feel better. But by the time I got there Jessica had already done most of the work. Lexie had finished crying and was beginning to smile. I wanted to be helpful, so I told Lexie about Peter. She acted all grossed out by it, so I don’t know how much good I did. I actually felt worse for Peter than I did for Lexie after that.
Dear God,
My friends Lexie and Peter had quite a day today. I’m sure you know all about it. Maybe now Lexie will know to take things slower, but I doubt it. She takes everything too fast. Grandma would tell her, “Patience makes the world go round.” Lexie could use a dose of patience. I’m running out of patience myself. Please don’t leave me in suspense. I know there’s a land war going on, but I don’t know how things stand right now. I’d like to know, if you don’t mind telling me. Amen.
Mr. T asked me and Anna to escort our visitors to their bus after Exchange Day number two wrapped up. Even though there were no books involved, Anna and I still made a good team.
We led our visitors to the main entrance and held the glass doors open as they filed out and boarded the yellow bus. Mr. T went outside with Mrs. Stern. They were busy talking. I eyed Derek as he walked past me. He thought he was big and mighty for flirting with Lexie. Anger bubbled inside me.
At some point that afternoon the sky started dropping those big, heavy, very wet snowflakes. The kind you hate to shovel because the snow sticks together and weighs so much. A late-in-the-season snow that melts quickly but is pretty while it lasts. It was snow, though. And that triggered a painful memory and another range of feelings mixed with the anger I already had brewing. For Derek, the snow was an invitation he couldn’t resist. He bent down and scooped a handful. I watched him form a snowball. That was all I needed.
I bolted out the door and chased after him. He was about to throw that snowball in Mr. T’s direction. I connected with him just as his arm was pulled back. Lowering my head, I tackled Derek, taking him right off his feet. I landed on top of him in the wet grass. I heard the wind leave his body as we bounced off the ground.
You have to imagine how I was feeling. Derek was about to chuck a snowball that could have accidentally hit Mr. T. This had nothing to do with Lexie. It was the first time someone had made a snowball in front of me since last year. My whole body tingled. I was just protecting Mr. T.
“Oh my goodness!” I heard Mrs. Stern shriek.
I jumped off Derek. “You can’t throw snowballs here!” I yelled, standing over him.
“You’re just mad ’cause I spent the day with your girlfriend,” Derek said. He got up and brushed his pants and jacket off.
“She’s not my girlfriend,” I said. “You just can’t throw snowballs here, okay?” I felt other kids gathering around us as Derek stepped closer to me.
“Oh yeah, why not?” he said.
“Because somebody could get hurt,” Mr. T said, pushing his way through the crowd and stepping between me and Derek.
“Get on the bus!” Mrs. Stern
demanded. “This behavior is unacceptable!” Her class knew to listen. They did as she ordered. “I’ll have a talk with them,” she told Mr. T. “I’m gonna whip them into shape yet.”
Mr. T smiled. “Oh, I know you will, Dolores. I have no doubts about that.”
Anna and I started back to the classroom. She knew I was upset over Lexie, so she tried talking to me about it. I changed the subject to Jeffrey. I told her that he had the hots for her, which he did. Anna was taken by surprise. She didn’t really get a chance to say anything, because as soon as the yellow bus pulled away, Mr. T hurried to catch up with us.
“Thanks, Peter,” Mr. T said. “Everyone should have a guardian angel like you.” He put his arm around me.
A guardian angel shouldn’t be far away, I thought. Definitely not at Riverway.
“Peter, did you learn how to tackle like that at wrestling?” Anna asked.
“Sort of,” I said. “That was a double-leg takedown, except in wrestling you don’t get a running start like that.”
“Because there’s not enough room in the ring?” she asked.
Mr. T and I laughed out loud. “Sort of,” I said again. “Except it’s not a ring. It’s just a mat.”
“Oh,” she said.
“Did you want to try wrestling, Anna?” Mr. T asked.
I stiffened. I was afraid she might say yes. I couldn’t imagine wrestling a girl!
“No!” Anna said. “But I do think I’d like to watch it.”
I let out a sigh. Whew.
“Well, guess what?” Mr. T said. “We plan to have wrestling at Field Day this year.”
“Really?!” I said.
“Yup.”
Awesome! First we had Snow Hill Carnival, then Field Day, then graduation, and then a wedding. This was going to be the best finish ever. The thought of finishing made me wonder—again—what I was going to do without Mr. T next year. All along I’d been telling myself I needed to fail so I could stick around and look out for him, but the truth was I needed him more than he needed me.
My mother is a powerful lady. She’s always in charge and people don’t question her. But I did that night she showed up at wrestling. I don’t know where my courage came from, but I told her how I felt and that I didn’t want to go to Riverway. She didn’t like that, and was about to lose it when Mr. T stepped in and put an end to our standoff.
I got a lift home from Jeffrey’s father while Mr. T stayed back in the parking lot, talking to my parents. It was an unofficial parent-teacher conference. Mom and Dad made it home about thirty minutes after me and then we had a parent-child conference. I was scared.
The mail from Riverway was my acceptance letter, but it came with a condition. It was the condition that sent my parents into orbit and on a rampage to my wrestling practice. I would need to write a letter or revisit and interview again, explaining my change of heart and newfound desire to attend Riverway, before I would be officially admitted. This news came as a surprise to Mom and Dad.
“Peter, do you want to go to Riverway in the fall?” Mom asked.
“No,” I said.
Dad got up and left the room. That was the end of my short conversation with him. Mom sighed.
“Okay, Peter. This is too much for your father right now, but I’ll talk to him. This letter says we need to wait until after the school year anyway, but if you still don’t want to go by then, well, we’ll see.” Mom got up and walked over to me. She bent down and kissed the top of my head. “Sorry about tonight, honey.” Then she left the room.
It was a step in the right direction. My parents finally knew how I felt. Things were still up in the air, and I was nervous about not knowing my future, but after Lexie’s performance at Exchange Day number two I almost told my parents that Riverway did sound like a good idea. Except I still needed to be around for Mr. T. I wish I knew the answer.
Peter has a big heart. He would do anything for Mr. T. He was just trying to protect him. By the time I got out there, Peter was already getting off Derek and trying to explain to him that you couldn’t throw snowballs here. A crowd gathered around and I started to get very nervous.
“You’re just mad ’cause I spent the day with your girlfriend,” Derek said.
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
I heard Peter say that plain as day, but I also heard the defeat in his voice when he said it. I hurt inside to hear Peter sound like that. If he liked Lexie, which he obviously did, then seeing her put a show on for those other boys must have really upset him. But he wasn’t the only one that hurt. Deep down, I wanted Peter to like me. I’d had a crush on him ever since the summer. We spent a lot of time together.
“Get on the bus!” Mrs. Stern barked to her students. The crowd that had gathered separated immediately. Everyone listened to her. I was thankful she was there to help, but I was even more thankful that she wasn’t my teacher. I would have still been in hiding with a drill sergeant like that. That much I knew for sure.
Peter and I started on our way back to the classroom while the rest of the visitors got on the bus and Mr. Terupt shared a few final words with drill-sergeant lady.
“I’m sorry that what Lexie did today hurt you,” I told Peter.
Peter scuffed his foot along the ground. “Yeah, well, whatever. It’s okay,” he said.
Of course he didn’t really mean that, and I wanted to tell him I liked him, but I didn’t have the nerve. Peter said something else instead. And when he did, I almost died.
“Jeffrey’s got the hots for you, though.”
“What are you talking about?” I said.
“It’s true. He does. Lexie and I are beginning to edit and add music to the wedding documentary that he and Jessica have been making, and Jeffrey’s camera seems to always find you. We need to keep deleting those parts—sorry.”
“Well, it doesn’t mean anything just because I show up on his camera.”
“Maybe not,” Peter said. “But when I teased him about it at wrestling practice one night he didn’t deny it. He likes you, Anna.”
Now I thought something was wrong with me. Two seconds ago I was hurting inside because the boy I liked, Peter, liked another girl—Lexie. But finding out that Jeffrey thought I was special suddenly changed things. Jeffrey had a big heart. And he was cute.
I was upset with myself because my feelings changed so easily, but Mom put me at ease when we had our talk and she said that at my age feelings tended to change like the wind.
She told me this at the beginning of a conversation that had been waiting to happen for so long. We were on our way home from the center. My project with Jeffrey was long over, but Mom and I weren’t ready to stop visiting. We’d grown very attached to some of the residents and Nurse Rose, and went there at least once or twice a week.
Since Jeffrey’s family had adopted Asher, it was only Mom and I in the car. Sometimes our car rides were silent because we were both tired from busy days, or we were thinking. Other times we had conversation for the whole ride, talking about whatever was on our minds. Mom liked to talk about Charlie, and I never tired of listening to her happy voice. But on this particular day our ride home started out in silence and remained that way until I finally found the courage to bring it up. “Mom, it’s time,” I said. “I want you to tell me about my father.”
Silent riding again. Mom needed a minute to think about what I had said. “Why now?” she asked.
“Because things in school have got me thinking about him.”
Mom nodded. “Sounds like a fair enough reason,” she said.
“There’s more.”
“Oh.”
“I’ve noticed how Lexie and her mom are tight with money, and I know Jessica’s mom has money, but what about us? How do we have enough to live comfortably?”
“You’re right, honey. You’re ready for some answers,” Mom said. She leaned over and turned the radio off, then sat back up and took a big breath. “Okay,” she said. “You know that Danielle’s family frowned upon u
s because having a child out of wedlock was a situation they couldn’t accept. They’re very serious churchgoers.”
“Yes,” I said. “I know.”
“But I told you that my parents and I were also very active in the same church.”
“I remember.”
“Well, sometimes churches organize retreats. Getaways with a spiritual focus. They can be for families, adults, or young people. I especially liked the ones for young people.”
Mom glanced over at me. I was following, and had a feeling I knew where she was headed with her story.
“You’re probably guessing that I met your father on one of those retreats.”
I nodded.
“Well, I did.”
I looked at her now. Her eyes stared straight ahead at the road. Me, on the other hand—I went bug-eyed. Two young people making a baby during a church retreat. As Danielle would say, Holy cow!
Mom slowed for a stop sign. “We actually saw each other on several retreats before anything intimate happened. He was the first boy to show any interest in me. Naturally, because of that my heart raced whenever he was around.”
Mom looked both ways, then eased forward.
“At that young age, your feelings change like the wind when you find out someone likes you,” Mom said.
I thought of Peter and Jeffrey. Boy, did Mom have that right. My feelings changed like the flip of a switch. I felt better knowing that was normal at my age.
“This boy was very sweet to me, Anna. He didn’t pressure me. He didn’t need to. I went along with everything because I liked his attention.”
Mom stopped talking and looked over at me.
“Okay, so then what happened?” I said.
“The hard part,” my mom answered. “I told your father I was pregnant the next time I saw him, which was at another retreat about two months later. I guess at that point he acted like a high school boy. He was scared and wanted nothing more to do with me. He told me he was sorry. He didn’t want to be a dad.”
“That’s it?” I said. “He just walked away from you?”