“Then we went and screwed it all up by having Eleanor brought back. Nothing like having your hand forced,” she said, nodding. “I’m sure that, given a little time to get over the shock of today, he’ll be right back in your hair, driving you crazy.”
“Now probably wouldn’t be the best time to say that I’m not sure I want him in my hair,” I muttered, wishing I could rewind my life a few days.
That would mean I never met Alec again. My heart grew sad at that thought. Oh, dear heavens, was I already past hope? Had I started giving in to all that charm and magnetism and smoldering sexuality that had every woman within a five-mile radius ready to rip off her clothing and throw herself at him?
I looked at the woman next to me with a hard expression.
She blinked at it. “What?”
“You let Alec seduce you!”
To my surprise, she laughed. “I was wondering if you were going to come back to that. I did, yes. Well, not really. It’s a little complicated. We didn’t actually have sex, you know. That is to say, he didn’t . . . we didn’t . . . it was more just some mutual groping. I mean, we were naked, but that was really all we did. And he didn’t even stay the whole night with me.”
I stared at her, trying to sort through all of that.
“I didn’t make it any better, did I?” she asked, still laughing.
“No.” The word dropped like a lead weight.
“Honestly, I think he was just lonely. The fact that he couldn’t have real sex should have warned me that he wasn’t the man for me, but I didn’t see it at that time. It wasn’t until Kristoff and I got together, and I thought he was still in love with . . . well, our rocky start is neither here nor there.”
“You had a rocky start?” I asked, momentarily distracted from the painful thought of her touching a naked Alec.
“Yeah, just about as rocky as they can get. I’ll tell you about it when you have an hour or two sometime. But first, you have to tell me about Alphonse de Marco, which means we need the boys. I think Alec has had enough time to get over himself. Let me run and check on Eleanor to make sure she’s all right—then we’ll go remind Alec how lucky he is to have you.”
She rose and left through one of the arched doorways. My own feelings aside, I wondered if Alec truly wanted me for his Beloved, or whether he had just picked me out of gratitude for saving his life and springing him from the Akasha.
And what would happen to Eleanor? Would guilt over her eventually taint his feelings for me? Was he even now blaming me for putting him in a position where he had to hurt one of us?
“You really know how to screw up your life,” I told myself as I got slowly to my feet, and tottered off to find Pia.
Chapter Ten
Guilt pricked Alec. He didn’t like the sensation. “Dammit, Kris, she didn’t tell me. I thought the marking was due to the amount of blood she’d fed me. I almost drained her dry when she brought me back. I didn’t know.... She didn’t tell me.”
“You’ve been around long enough to know how women are,” his friend answered, standing next to him as they both stared out into the shadowed garden. What Kristoff saw, Alec had no idea—all he could see was the look on Cora’s face when she made the verbal slip, and realized she would have to tell him the truth. “There are times when I give up trying to understand Pia. I just accept that some things are important to her that don’t mean a damn to me, and let it go at that. What matters to me is that she’s happy. I find it interesting, however, that your first concern is for Cora, not Eleanor.”
“Eleanor . . .” Alec rubbed his nose as he thought about what to do with the extra Beloved. “She’s . . . not needed.”
Kristoff gave him a rueful look. “I’m sorry we brought her back. We thought it was the only way that the council would sanction your removal from the Akasha. We should have just let matters lie.”
“And left me there? I’d much rather be facing the problem of one too many Beloveds than that. It wasn’t at all pleasant.”
“No, but I imagine you’re none too happy right now, either, faced with both your original Beloved and her reincarnation. What are you going to do about Eleanor ? ”
“I have no idea,” he said, his shoulders slumping. “I assume since I never even fed from her that she’ll be fine picking up a new life as a lich. Our bond, such as it is, is tenuous, and she shouldn’t be affected by it being severed. It’s Cora who concerns me. She has an aversion to Dark Ones. She saw me kill the reaper.” Alec cast his mind back to that horrible day. Odd, though, that the memory now carried with it no pain. After centuries of it causing him the utmost agony, emotion had been drained from the memory, just as if Cora’s admission had wiped it all clean. “Sorry, she saw me kill your wife.”
Kristoff made a half-shrugging gesture. “Ruth was a reaper. She just didn’t mean to run down and decapitate Eleanor.”
“No.” He knew that now. He hadn’t for centuries, but after the last time he tried to kill Kristoff, they had finally worked out what had really happened, and moved past it. “Did I ever apologize for killing her?”
“No, but I never apologized on her behalf for killing your Beloved.”
“I never apologized for turning you, either,” Alec said moodily, feeling that so long as he was going to lash himself with guilt, he might as well get all of it out at the same time.
“If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t have found Pia, and she was worth all those centuries I had to wait for her,” Kristoff allowed. “I could have done without you planning on destroying her, but since you couldn’t see it through, it’s all a moot point.”
Alec couldn’t help but smile at that. “She smote me with that damned reaper light of hers. That was no fun, I can tell you. My chest hair hasn’t been the same since.”
Kristoff laughed and punched him in the arm. “You had it coming. If Eleanor goes off without giving you any grief, what will you do about Corazon?”
He sighed. “She’s my Beloved. What do you think I’m going to do with her? Bind myself to her and spend the rest of our lives convincing her I’m not a murdering bloodsucker. Assuming, that is, no one gets to her first.”
Kristoff slid him a curious look. “Gets to her how?”
“I’d tell you, but I believe we’re about to have company, and it’s probably easier to explain it once rather than twice.”
“Have you gentlemen worked through Alec’s issues ?” Pia asked, appearing in the doorway, her gaze drawn, as ever, to Kristoff. He held out his hand for her, and she moved immediately to his side, snuggling against him with a private smile meant only for him.
Alec watched them, wondering if Cora would ever cleave to him the way Pia did with Kristoff. “I have no issues. I was just . . . surprised.” And hurt, but it wouldn’t do to admit that.
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.
He turned to find Cora in the door, her eyes wary. Eavesdropping, querida?
No, she said, startled, and he realized she hadn’t picked up his thoughts. I just . . . I figured I must have hurt you when you left like that, and then didn’t want to talk to me. You’ve been put in a bad place, and part of that was due to the fact that I hadn’t told you the truth about me. I wanted to tell you about it. I think I probably would have, but then Eleanor was there, and she was your real Beloved, and I figured you’d want her.
I don’t.
No, I gathered that. But it didn’t seem fair to you to have to choose. I thought I might just make it easier on you by letting Eleanor serve her purpose.
He studied her face for a few seconds, then decided to see what path his life would take. He held out his hand for her, just as Kristoff had done with Pia.
Cora looked at his hand, hesitating. His heart contracted with the pain that accompanied the knowledge that she didn’t want him, truly did not want to be his Beloved. He was a convenient end to a means, that was all.
Her hand was warm in his as she moved next to him, one delicious hip pressing against him. Hope flare
d deep in the empty space where his soul was meant to be, the hope that, after more than five hundred years, he might not be alone any longer.
Pia murmured something about getting some refreshments before they got caught up on all the news, taking Kristoff with her as she left the room. Alec barely noticed them leave, so caught was he in the beauty of Cora’s eyes. “Mi corazón,” he said, rubbing his thumb down her silky cheek to that lush lower lip that begged to be tasted. “My heart.”
“Alec, we need to talk. Eleanor—”
“We will talk to her. I do not want her hurt any more than you do, but she must come to the realization that you are my Beloved, not her.”
“I don’t know. It seems so heartless, somehow.”
“Is your hesitation due to the situation with Eleanor, or that which is between us?” he asked, suddenly worried again. Was he misreading her emotions? She felt guilt with regard to him—that he knew—but whether it was about hiding the fact that she was his Beloved, or for the fact that Eleanor had been upset, was beyond his understanding.
“It’s . . . it might be both. I feel like I stole you from Eleanor somehow, even though I know I really didn’t. She’s me, for heaven’s sake. Or a past version of me. So I couldn’t steal from myself, could I? And yet it feels like I did, and, Alec, I’ve never been the ‘steal someone else’s man’ sort of person.”
“You didn’t steal me, love,” he said, amused despite the fact that she was obviously distressed. He wanted to kiss the worry right out of her mind, but knew she had to work things out for herself, or she would never be content to bind herself to him. “We were meant to be together. There’s no other explanation for the fact that you saved me in the Akasha.”
“You were supposed to help me get out,” she said with a dark look. “That’s the only reason why I saved you.”
“There were others you could have approached for help. That you didn’t abandon me after you knew who and what I was tells me that deep down you know we are meant to be, as well.”
She sighed, and leaned her head against his shoulder. “Do you have any idea how annoying it is to have your inner devil saying, ‘I told you so’? It’s almost more than I can bear.”
“Inner devil?”
She smiled into his neck. “It’s what I call my conscience. She seems more of a little troublemaker than an angelic bit of righteousness meant to keep me on the straight and narrow. She liked you from the start, for one.”
He laughed, delighted with the sudden quirky turn of her mind. “Then she has my full approval. Do not distress yourself, Cora. I won’t ask anything more from you than what you want to give me.”
Her gaze dropped. “What if I don’t want to give you anything?”
“Then I will continue on as I have.” Only he wouldn’t. Thinking over the past few days, he realized they were one short step away from Joining. Although it was physically possible for him to still feed from others, he knew he wouldn’t. Somehow, without his being aware of it, this woman had found her way into his heart and bound him to her. But he wouldn’t let Cora know that; despite her protests and rather odd ideas about Dark Ones, she had a large heart, and he knew with absolute conviction that she would allow guilt to sway her into Joining rather than a true desire to do so.
“I . . . do I have to make a decision right now?” She wrung her hands.
He smiled, and gave her a quick kiss just because he couldn’t resist that delectable mouth, and then gave her a second one because there was no way one was going to be enough. “No. We have all the time in the—”
The door opened. Pia stuck her head in, her face tight with concern. “We have company, and they’re looking for you. Kristoff has them in the sitting room, but we need to hide you. Can you find your way to the cellar? There’s a hidden door behind some casks of wine. I have to run upstairs and warn Eleanor to keep mum about you, so I don’t have time to show you where it is.”
Alec nodded. “I know where the hidden room is. I helped Kris clean it out.”
“Good. We’ll give you the all clear when Julian and his buddy are gone.”
“Julian? The messenger?”
“Yes.” She said nothing more, leaving them silently.
“Who’s the messenger?” Cora asked, prodding him when he opened the door enough to peer out of it.
“He’s part of the Moravian Council. Which means they know I’m out, and either know or suspect I’ve come to Kris for help. Quickly, they’ve gone into the other room, but I doubt if they’ll stay there for long.”
He hustled her through the sunlight, ignoring the pain as they headed through the kitchen to a small door, down a rickety flight of stairs, and through a series of musty, dark, close rooms that smelled greatly of the earth. He pulled out a small penlight, flicking it around the rooms to avoid the stacks of old furniture, barrels of wine the previous owner had left, and the usual detritus found in a house a few centuries old.
Cora said nothing as he counted down a line of oak wine casks, handing her the penlight as he gripped a cask with both hands, throwing all his weight against it, willing it to move. It shuddered and groaned for a few seconds before giving way, sliding to the side, revealing a cobwebbed entrance cut low into the stone wall.
“In,” he said, kicking the remains of a wooden crate out to cover the marks on the ground where the cask had moved.
“Are there mice? I have a thing about mice,” Cora said, her fear palpable.
“If there are, I won’t let them near you,” he promised.
She gave him a long look. “Do I have to go in there with you? Would the Julian guy know who I am? With regards to you, that is?”
Pain laced him at her words, although he understood her reticence. If it weren’t for her, he’d say to hell with the council and face down the messenger. But he no longer had only his own future to consider. “No, he wouldn’t. You don’t have to go with me if you don’t want to. Pia will claim you as a visiting friend, I’m sure.”
She looked at him for the count of five before she nodded and ducked down to enter the room.
He smiled at her ass. He couldn’t help himself—she was just so contrary at times, it was all he could do to keep from pouncing on her and claiming her right then and there.
The hidden room was more a hole scraped out of the side of the mountain than anything else, the smell in it particularly earthy when he pulled the door closed behind them. Cora scooted to his side, clutching the back of his shirt and peering around suspiciously as he shone the narrow light around the tiny room. There was no sign of rodent life, but his nose told him otherwise.
“Do you see anything?” Cora asked, pressing herself into him.
No. Surely you cannot be scared of a tiny little animal.
“You’re kidding, right? Because if there is anything more frightening than little mousy feet and tails and those twitching noses, I don’t know what it is. Well, OK, rats are icky, too, but I count them in the mouse category.”
“I see nothing,” he lied, meeting the beady-eyed, but mildly curious, gaze of a large brown rat that scampered onto a broken chair across the small room.
“OK, but if you do, I’m out of here. It’s no reflection on HOLY JESUS!”
Cora screamed and pointed in a direction forty-five degrees from the rat, and proceeded to climb him like he was a ladder.
“You know,” he said conversationally, her heaving breasts pressed against his face as she struggled to climb even higher up his body, her heels digging into his hips, “that mouse is probably far more terrified of great big you than you are of it, mousy feet and twitching nose aside.”
“Don’t let it get near me!” she shrieked.
If you keep doing that, love, Julian will hear you.
Sorry. MOUSE! Can we leave yet? Please?
I don’t know, he said, rubbing his cheeks against the thin linen shirt, the scent of her and the feel of her breasts waking his appetite . . . both appetites. I’m rather enjoying this. Except the way y
our heels are poking into my flesh. Could you . . . thank you.
Sorry. It’s just that I really do not like mice.
I’ve ascertained that fact for myself. Much as I appreciate having my face buried in your breasts, at some point, I’m going to need oxygen.
She pulled back slightly, just enough for him to get some air into his lungs. “Sorry,” she repeated softly. “Can you see the mouse?”
He glanced over to the rat. It was cleaning its face, one eye on them. “No, I don’t see a mouse. It probably ran when you screamed, and went back into its home.”
“You think so? ” She shifted, obviously trying to peer into the darkness. “Maybe. Why are you hiding something from me? I’ve admitted I’m your Beloved—aren’t you supposed to let me have a lifetime membership pass into your brain?”
He leaned back against the wall, his hands on her wonderful ass as she tightened her legs around his hips. “Are you giving me complete access to your thoughts and feelings, as well?”
That stopped her. He could feel how disgruntled she was over the thought that he could keep things from her, but knew she couldn’t demand he allow her into his mind willy-nilly unless she honored those same terms.
He frowned at that thought. Just what, exactly, did she have to hide from him? “A Beloved should never keep things from her Dark One,” he said primly.
“I’ll be sure to pass that along to the next Beloved I see. Is your back getting tired?”
“No, although if you slid down a bit, I could at least kiss you. Unless you wish to take off your shirt so I can kiss your bare breasts?”
He felt her thinking that over, but she sighed, instead and cautiously unlocked her legs from their death grip on his hips, slowly lowering herself to the ground.
“Do you mind?” she asked, squeezing between him and the door.
“Not at all. The rat doesn’t live who will make it past me to you,” he said.
She froze. “RAT? You think there are rats in here?”
Cielito, you’re going to pass out if you hyperventilate, and then I’ll have to stop guarding you to resuscitate you, and that will leave the path open to the mouse to touch you with its feet.