“I'll try.” Edna twisted from his grasp and got out of the car. She hurried up the walk, entering the house quietly. She didn't want to disturb Karissa if she was sleeping, but she wondered if she might be watching from the bedroom window. Going directly to the kitchen, Edna had time to clean up the lunch dishes before Jillian came bursting into the house, calling, “I'm home” at the top of her lungs.
“Okay, okay,” Edna rushed to the living room, drying her hands on a small towel. “I think everyone in the neighborhood heard you. You probably woke up Karissa.”
“Nah, she doesn't sleep all that much. I'll go check.”
Before Edna could stop her, Jillian bounded down the hall and into the master bedroom, yelling, “Hey, Karissa. I'm home.”
Edna heard Karissa's answering voice but couldn't make out the words as she followed her granddaughter down the hall. Approaching the bedroom, she heard the two laughing and chattering. Unbidden anger flared at the sound. Michele should be the one in that bedroom. It wasn't fair. Edna's heart ached thinking of Jillian's mother not being there to listen to her daughter talking excitedly about her day at school.
It may have been these thoughts that caused her to speak more abruptly than she had meant to when she entered the room. “Jillian, quiet down. You know Karissa mustn't be agitated. Sorry, Karissa.”
Karissa said she didn't mind, she looked forward to seeing Jillian after school, but Edna said the child needed to get some fresh air after being inside. “Jillian, come with me. We'll go out and play. It's too nice a day to stay inside.”
Good naturedly, Jillian skipped from the room and went to change her clothes while Edna brought Karissa a cup of tea and some cookies. Then, donning a light windbreaker and her wide-brimmed hat, she went out to join her granddaughter in the backyard.
“Play Frisbee with me, Gramma,” Jillian shouted as Edna appeared on the deck.
“I'm not sure I can. I've never done it before.”
“I'll teach you. Come on. It's fun.”
Jillian spun the plastic saucer at Edna who, to the surprise of them both, caught the toy in mid-air. Laughing, Edna tried to throw it back but only managed to spin it sideways, slamming it into the ground.
“That's okay, Gramma. I'll show you how.” Jillian ran after the Frisbee before joining Edna in the middle of the yard. “See. Like this.”
For the next half hour or so, Jillian taught Edna how to flex and flick her wrist so the Frisbee would sail evenly and smoothly through the air. Once, the disc caught on a sudden breeze and was carried into the neighboring yard. Edna stood on tiptoe, looking over the wooden privacy fence, watching as Jillian entered the yard and threw the Frisbee back. The youngster was full of energy and soon had Edna panting with exhaustion.
“Enough,” she finally cried, laughing and stumbling toward the glider on the redwood deck.
Jillian came to stand before her, saying in her serious child's tones, “You're doing really great, Gramma. You can't stop now.”
“Thank you, Jillybean, but I need to sit for a minute. I'll play some more later.” Thinking of how she might get her granddaughter to calm down a little before dinner, she said, “If you'll bring me a pencil and some paper, I'll draw a picture of my cat for you.”
“All ri-i-ight,” Jillian shouted, drawing out the last word, as she went running into the house, returning moments later with a pencil, a spiral-bound notepad and several crayons clutched in her fist. Wiggling onto the glider next to Edna, she thrust the materials at her grandmother.
While Edna took the pencil and began to swipe a series of curved lines on the paper, she asked Jillian to tell her about school, listening to the child's description of her third-grade teacher, Mr. Cameron, and smiling to herself over stories Jillian told of her school friends. When the pencil drawing of Benjamin was finished, Edna took an orange crayon and added color to the cat's back and head.
“Is that really what he looks like?” Jillian took the picture onto her lap and studied it.
“Yes. He's a big ginger cat. Very friendly and very smart.”
“Did you get him when he was a kitten?”
“No. He was already a year old when he came to live with us. Your grandfather and I adopted him from an animal shelter.”
“I want a kitten.” Jillian stated firmly.
From the expression on her granddaughter's face, Edna wondered if she hadn't gotten into a conversation that had already been decided between Jillian and her parents. Taking the notepad, she flipped to a clean page and began to draw again. “Have you asked your daddy for a kitten?”
“Yes. No. Not exactly.” Jillian played with the zipper on her jacket, not looking up at Edna. “When Mommy was still alive, I asked for a dog, but they said no.”
Edna felt an overwhelming sadness when Jillian mentioned Michele. “Your mother was allergic to dogs and cats. Their fur made her sneeze,” Edna said.
“I remember.” The little voice was quieter now.
Trying to keep the conversation light, Edna said, “What else do you remember about your mother, Jillybean?”
“Everything.” Enthusiasm came back into Jillian's voice. “I hold her picture and talk to her every night before Daddy turns off my light. I tell her about school and stuff. I know she can hear me, even though she's in heaven and I can't see her anymore.”
The lump in Edna's throat kept her from responding. Instead, she turned the picture she'd just finished so that Jillian could see it. Edna had an artist's eye and a memory for detail, talents which had recently helped her to identify a murderer. Now these talents were being put to work to bring happiness to her granddaughter.
The little girl's eyes widened. “That's me and Mommy.” Smiling broadly, she looked up at Edna. “That's us, isn't it?”
“Yes, dear. That's you and your mommy.” Edna had drawn Michele's face from memory and, cheek-to-cheek, had added Jillian as she was today, with her reddish brown braids and a smattering of freckles across her nose.
Before Edna could stop her, Jillian jumped off the glider and headed for the sliding glass door, waving the picture. “I'm gonna go show Karissa,” she said, dashing into the house.
“Oh, no,” Edna moaned aloud, pushing herself up to follow her granddaughter. “Wait, Jillian,” she called, but the youngster was already down the hall.
As Edna entered the bedroom, she saw Jillian kneeling beside the bed. The child's stepmother, having to lie on her side most of the time, was holding the picture at arm's length and saying, “It's a wonderful drawing, Jilly. We'll have to get a nice frame to put it in.”
“Oh, yes. Can we?” Jillian looked over her shoulder at Edna.
Edna studied Karissa, worried that she might be upset at the image of Michele, but she needn't have been concerned. Karissa's look was soft and smiling. “Tell you what, Jilly,” she said to her stepdaughter, “after the baby is born, we'll all go shopping and pick out a perfect frame.”
“Awesome,” Jillian cried and, taking the picture, ran from the room.
“I hope you're not upset by my drawing,” Edna said by way of apology, sitting on the edge of a chair near the bed.
“Not at all. I think Jillian needs to keep her mother's memory alive as long as possible. It's a good likeness.”
“Oh, did you know Michele?” Edna had somehow supposed that Grant's two wives had never met.
“Not really. I met her once when she came to the office.” Without pausing, Karissa said, “You draw people so well. Did you take lessons?”
Realizing her new daughter-in-law wanted to change the subject, Edna told Karissa that she had been sketching faces since she'd been about Jillian's age. “I drew pictures to entertain my little sister when she broke her leg one summer and couldn't get out to play. I guess I just had a knack for it,” Edna said.
Not comfortable talking about herself, she bent to retrieve a couple of magazines from the floor beside the bed before rising and picking up the empty teacup and cookie plate. She was grateful that Ka
rissa seemed so understanding of Jillian's need to remember her mother. “Can I get you anything else before I start dinner?”
“No, thanks. I feel guilty having you wait on me like this.”
Edna smiled. “Don't you bother about it. After all, that's what I'm here for. Take advantage of it while you can. You'll be wishing for more bed time once that baby of yours arrives.”
Karissa smiled and leaned back into her pillows as Jillian came bounding into the room again, carrying two dolls and a tiny suitcase. “Play dolls, Karissa?” she asked, climbing up onto the bed without waiting for a reply.
“Jillian, I don't think … ” began Edna, but Karissa stopped her.
“It's all right. I want to play. It gets pretty boring just lying here with nothing to do but read or watch TV. I've gone through all my magazines at least five times.”
Edna was about to suggest she bring Karissa a book to read when Jillian spoke up.
“You play too, Gramma,” she commanded, opening the little suitcase and dumping doll clothes and accessories onto the bed.
Looking at her watch, Edna said, “No. You two play. Your father will be home soon, and I've got to make supper.”
In the kitchen she rummaged through cupboards, looking for something to go with the hamburger she had taken out of the freezer that morning. She hadn't had to cook an evening meal in Grant's home yet and was anxious to make a good wholesome supper for the family. Grant had brought food home the last two nights, Kentucky Fried Chicken one night and pizza the next. Edna was ready for a decent meal, not something preprocessed and packaged on an assembly line.
She didn't find potatoes in the kitchen but did locate a box of white rice. The canned goods consisted of several varieties of beans, including chili, kidney, pinto and garbanzo. There were cans of tomatoes, too, mostly diced with jalapeno peppers. The shelves seemed full of items unfamiliar to Edna's typical type of cooking. Finally, she discovered a jar of beef bouillon granules and decided to make a meatloaf and serve it with rice and gravy. Spotting a head of lettuce in the refrigerator, she thought a leafy salad would do for their green vegetable.
Next, she looked through the spice jars but couldn't find much she was familiar with there either. Chili powder, Tabasco and two other kinds of hot sauce. There was oregano, but she wasn't making spaghetti. Where was the thyme or rosemary or sage? She didn't want to use salt, certain Karissa would be on a low sodium diet, so she finally flavored the ground beef with a dash of Worcestershire and some seasoned croutons that she crushed and mixed into the meat.
Having set the table, made a lettuce salad with an oil-and-vinegar dressing, and prepared a mock gravy with bouillon, flour and water, Edna looked at the clock. The meatloaf would be done in five minutes. Grant was late. She had always served supper at six for her family, and it was almost that now. Deciding not to break that long-time habit and thinking she would warm Grant's meal for him when he got home, she was on her way down the hall to ask Jillian to wash her hands when she heard the phone ring and Karissa pick it up.
Edna entered the bedroom in time to hear her daughter-in-law say, “Okay, we'll see you when you get home.” She pushed a button on the cordless phone and handed it to Jillian as she looked up at Edna. “That was Grant. He has to work late tonight and said to go ahead and eat without him. He'll grab something near the office.”
Edna hoped she disguised her disappointment. She was getting to know Karissa better but still was more comfortable with her daughter-in-law when Grant was around. When the two women were alone, the conversation felt stilted. Edna needed time to get to know Grant's second wife before she would feel like having anything more than superficial conversation. Oh, well, nothing to do but put on a good face.
“Will you wash up for supper, please,” she said to her granddaughter. To her daughter-in-law, she held out a hand. “May I help you up?”
“Thanks, Edna.” Karissa put out her hands, and together they maneuvered her to a sitting position on the edge of the bed. “I'll use the bathroom and join you at the table in a minute,” she said, dismissing Edna with a shy smile.
Retreating down the hall, Edna savored the warmth of Karissa's smile. The more she was around this daughter-in-law, the more she liked her. Oh, but she missed Michele and the easy camaraderie they had shared. As she entered the kitchen, the oven's timer went off, and Edna had no more time to dwell on the past.
Determined to be cheerful and draw Karissa out, Edna regaled her dinner companions with stories of her children growing up and some of the family traditions they had enjoyed. Jillian and Karissa were delighted with the tales of Grant as a young boy.
Later in the meal conversation centered around Jillian's friends, both at school and in the neighborhood. Finishing the last bite of salad on her plate, Edna was thinking how much she had enjoyed the last half hour when she noticed that Karissa had hardly touched the food.
“Is something wrong?” Edna asked, concerned.
“No, no. Everything's fine. I guess I'm not very hungry.” Karissa put down her fork, not looking at Edna. “I think I'll just get back to bed.”
“You can lean on me, Karissa,” Jillian said, jumping up and standing beside her stepmother while Karissa, after pushing herself up from the table, put a hand on the girl's shoulder for support.
As Edna cleared the dishes, loaded the dishwasher and put away the leftover food, she thought about her son and wondered what was so important that he couldn't make it home to have an evening meal with his family. Does this happen often? she wondered. She surprised herself by thinking he might not be at the office at all but out somewhere. Visiting with Anita, perhaps? If only she had a car, she could drive over to Office Plus and at least see if his Celica was in the parking lot.
Mentally scolding herself for even thinking that her son was capable of such underhanded actions, she added soap to the trap in the dishwasher and turned it on. She then went to investigate what the other females in the family were up to. When she reached the open door to the master bedroom, she saw that Jillian had a book open and was reading quietly to her stepmother. Edna stood in the doorway and watched the two, happy to see how well they got along.
Jillian finished the page and was about to begin another when Karissa stopped her. “You've got school tomorrow, kiddo. It's time to get ready for bed.”
“Ahh, just one more page. Pleeease,” Jillian begged.
“You know the rules,” Karissa said lightly but firmly. She caught Edna's eye as she said this. Giving Edna a wink, she smiled back at Jillian. “Maybe tomorrow you can read a story to your grandmother.”
“Okay.” Reluctantly but obediently, Jillian gave her stepmother's cheek a kiss and scrambled off the bed. She then ran to Edna who bent to receive a good night hug and kiss.
Edna watched the child race down the hall to her room, turning back to Karissa in time to see a look of pain cross her daughter-in-law's face. All thoughts of Jillian flew from her head.
“What is it, dear? What's wrong?”
Karissa smiled weakly, sweat glazing her forehead. “The baby's very active tonight,” she said, holding onto her enlarged belly. “I think it's trying to kick its way out.” She attempted a laugh that turned quickly into a grimace.
“Oh, dear,” Edna said, chuckling to ease the tension, but with considerable sympathy. “I remember those days.” She went to the master bathroom and brought back a damp face cloth that she used to gently wipe her daughter-in-law's brow. Then, she refilled Karissa's water glass and asked if there were anything else she could do.
Tears glimmered in Karissa's eyes as she replied with a soft smile. “Not unless you can get my husband to come home.” With that, she closed her eyes and burrowed her head into a pillow.
Sensing the young woman wanted to be alone with her unhappiness, Edna left the room, quietly closing the door. The pleasure of the evening was gone.
In her own room she picked up her knitting bag and returned to the living room. She was making a baby's blank
et of alternating green and yellow squares. Grant and Karissa had told the family they didn't know the baby's sex. They wanted to be surprised. They also informed anyone who asked that no, they hadn't chosen a name yet either. Karissa believed that an appropriate name would occur to her only after she held her baby in her arms and looked into his or her face. Her mother had named her in that manner and so Karissa would do the same with her own child.
Edna sat on the couch, knitting with the television on, although she couldn't have said what she was watching. She had turned it on primarily to hear other voices. She was counting rows to determine if she needed to change colors, when she heard a sound behind her. Turning abruptly and dropping her needles in the process, she looked into her granddaughter's worried eyes.
“Jillybean, whatever's the matter?”
“Why didn't you come say goodnight to me?” Jillian's mouth pouted and her eyes looked concerned.
“Oh, Sweetie, I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were waiting for me.”
“Daddy's not here, so I thought you'd tuck me in.” She hurled herself into Edna's lap and hugged her tightly.
As Edna gently rocked the child back and forth, a thought popped into her head. Without giving it much thought, she said as if merely curious, “Jillian, would you tell me about your friend Anita?”
The little girl lifted her head and looked into Edna's eyes. “Daddy doesn't want me to talk to anyone about Anita.”
“Why not?” Edna was surprised at this statement.
“Because.”
“I don't think he'd mind if you talked to me. Do you?”