*
The cats had walked to the bend, and there they sat, under the ruthless pounding of the sun, which had risen high in the cloudless sky. Muse still felt shy, but Watch seemed unchanged, and Contempt had abandoned her efforts at aid when Watch became disturbed by her touch. The blood had clotted and flies swirled around his ear, which he twitched without annoyance. His tail kept time as it twitched the seconds away, and Contempt heaved a gusty sigh once every ten minutes.
Muse made herself small to escape the heat of the sun, closed her eyes, and wished fervently for the sound of another train. Several hours had slipped by in this manner, the heat making them sluggish.
Muse could almost imagine the sound of the tracks beginning to vibrate, as if a train were approaching. Her imagination was an untrustworthy thing, she thought; her dreams of the country felt like memories, and her desire for a train was making her hear things. She blew out through her nose, irritated by the gnats, bothered by her own mind, and deeply frustrated. She concentrated on the imagined sound of the vibration, willing it into existence, hoping feverishly she would hear a real one.
"I feel it coming," said Watch suddenly, his voice the first words they had spoken since morning.
Muse sat up, immediately alert, and Contempt sprang to her feet.
"I don't hear anything," said Contempt. She squinted into the distance and sniffed the air.
"I don't hear it yet," said Watch. "I feel it. There are… thoughts I can hear. More than just the human train operator. Tangled thoughts."
Muse got to her feet and listened. The vibration was real now; the train was coming.
"Thank goodness," hissed Contempt, shaking the feeling back into her muscles. "If I had to sit here any longer…"
The train was coming quickly. The cats stood together, and they could see it approaching in the distance. It was growing larger quickly, as it approached, and while Muse knew it had to slow down for the bend, it seemed like it was going to barrel past them again.
"We'll need a running start," said Contempt, thinking the same thing.
The cats began loping along the side of the tracks, loosening their limbs, warming up but saving their energy for the leap into a freight car that they knew would be a challenge. They picked up their pace and ran easily, the sound of the train bearing down behind them.
"Faster," commanded Contempt, and the three cats broke into a swift run, keeping tight to the curve of the tracks. The thundering sound rose, and the engine of the train began to near them. "Faster!" called Contempt, the last word she would bother to say, since the sound swiftly drowned out their ability to hear anything but clanking wheels, metal on metal, and the thunderous charging of the train's engine.
Watch pulled forward, and Muse ran like she'd never run before. She could feel a cheetah's distant blood in her veins as her paws flew beneath her, swifter and swifter, the train passing them, car by car. The acrid smoke left behind by the engine lingered close to the ground and made her lungs burn and her eyes water, as she squinted ahead to desperately keep pace with the train, which was slowing, but still churning ahead so fast. Muse could hear Contempt's fast labored breathing beside her as their paws hit the ground almost in tandem, each keeping the other from slowing down. Muse's shoulders became an aching blur; she no longer differentiated between each running stride she took, so fast was she racing, and her lungs protested every ragged breath she drew. Faster, faster, with Watch still leading them, the train's long chain of cars almost completed the turn, and the caboose was nearly upon them.
Faster! Muse thought desperately, looking ahead to the closest open freight car, and Watch crumpled and rolled ahead of her, yowling in pain. Just as quickly he was back on his feet, dashing alongside the other cats, the train chugging noisily next to them. The open freight car drew tantalizingly near; only a few more seconds of running before they could leap aboard.
In a final searing burst of energy all three cats rocketed into the air and landed just on the edge of the car. Muse and Watch frantically clawed and scrambled their way aboard but Contempt hung on by her front claws, shrieking, her legs dangling helplessly off the edge. Watch yelled her name, his dark eyes wild, and jumped to her, sinking his claws into her forearms and dragging her aboard.
It was suddenly quiet, inside the car, after racing next to the roar of the wheels on the tracks. The cats gasped for breath and their sides heaved. Contempt lay like she was drowned, plastered against the floor, her arms spread painfully to the sides, punctured by her brother's claws.
Are you okay? asked Muse with a small effort, most of her thoughts devoted to just breathing.
Contempt nodded, her face pressed to the floor. "Watch, I'll get you for that," she wheezed.
"No need," said Watch, breathing heavily. "You'll heal, and then you'll thank me."
Contempt started to utter a short, ironic laugh but she winced and just lay carefully where she was. "I'm too old, too old for this," she panted.
Gradually the cats recovered their breath. Muse slowly stretched her body, feeling her muscles already stiffening. Watch sat quietly in the corner. Muse felt hesitant with him, remorseful that she'd hurt him again; she felt guilty, and unsure. She avoided his eyes but she knew he was watching her, watching everything.
"Don't be," he said after a while.
Muse blinked. What had she just thought to herself that she'd mistakenly let him hear, she wondered?
"Nothing," he answered. "I can just tell how you feel."
Muse looked at him curiously. He shrugged. "Pain is nothing," he said. "I've told you that before. When every day and every night is nothing but pain, a headache doesn't stand out as anything worse than normal."
How can you live like that, then? You are so unhappy.
"Not unhappy. Just searching. Just looking for somewhere I can find peace. Where I can… sleep." Muse noticed how truly exhausted he looked. "I have not slept for years. The world is too much with me. The closest I get is a wakeful trance. It's catching up with me, and my searching has gotten more desperate, you could say. As I run out of time."
Time?
"I can't go on like this much longer."
"When you run out of steam," said Contempt acerbically, still lying sprawled, flat, "you'll die. Then you'll have your peace."
"I suppose. I'd like to find peace while I'm still living though. Like I had in the basement of the old man's house. I slept then, I think." His voice was getting lower and more haunted.
I think I'll find my peace after one day near a mountain and a stream, ones like in my dream, offered Muse, carefully changing the subject. She felt her heart break at the idea of Watch's suffering. One night in a bed of fresh long meadow grass, one mouthful of a fresh mouse, and I'll be at peace.
"Well I sure hope you find it," said Contempt, "but if you're searching for a dream, you're never going to. Not to burst your bubble, kid. But dreams aren't real. If I looked for what was in my dreams, then I'd be off for a city paved with catnip and piers made of fish, and all the people spilling cream from the soles of their shoes. It would never rain, or at least I'd never get wet. I'd never age, my pearls would be new every day, and there'd be at least a few humans I could trust enough to scratch behind my ears. But not ones who would ever think of me as their pet. See? It'll never happen. Just a dream."
She lifted her head and began gingerly licking the wounds on her arms. "Just a dream."