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To all my readers and fans who have exceeded all my wildest writing dreams. From the bottom of my heart, I send you love, and give you immense hugs. God bless you for your support.
“Music is the literature of the heart; it commences where speech ends.”
~Alphonse de Lamartine
***
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Epilogue
About the Author
Acknowledgements
***
My cowboy boots clomped across the pockmarked pavement as I weaved in and out of the rows of tour buses. Screamo rock music blared around me, echoing through the cramped parking lot. Roadies and technicians brushed past me with scratchy conversations emitting from their headsets and walkie-talkies. Once they swept their gaze over the dangling authorized pass around my neck, they didn’t ask what I was doing, nor did they ask if they could give me a hand.
Intense June heat beat against my back and singed the bare flesh above my thin sundress straps. I grunted and gave a tug on the rolling suitcase behind me while the guitar case I carried at my right side felt like it was weighed down with lead.
Rock Nation was one of the biggest music festivals in the country. A hundred bands performed over three days, and the shows lasted around the clock. Music fanatics camped out in the middle of the desert and somewhat recreated Woodstock. Well, that’s just what I’d been told. It wasn’t like I’d spent the last two days with thousands of stinky, mud-caked strangers. I’d just come off a 737 from Austin, Texas, and hopped the closest cab to the arena.
My only real interest in being at Rock Nation was seeing Jacob’s Ladder—the chart topping, Christian rock cross-over band. The three members, Gabe, Eli, and Micah, just happened to be my older brothers, and the reason I was wandering around a parking lot in the middle of the desert.
Sweating profusely, lost, and frustrated was not quite what I had envisioned when my brothers asked me to join them on their summer tour. It wasn’t the first time I had gone around the country with them since they had burst into the limelight two years ago. But it was the first time I had to decide if the rootless existence of a musician was really for me. After singing my ass off, as my brother Eli claimed, for the label executives, I had been offered the role as lead singer. The role was available because my oldest brother, Micah, was exiting the band to get married and join the seminary.
After rolling my suitcase to a halt, I sat my guitar case down. Shielding my hand over my eyes from the glaring sun, I peered at the buses. Trust me, when you’ve seen one tour bus, you’ve seen them all. Very few boasted the band’s name who called them their home away from home. Right now, I was faced with row after row of them compressed together so tight you could barely move between them.
Peering at the windshields, I looked for the usual multicolored paper with the bus number. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember what number I was supposed to be looking for. I dug my phone out of my purse and gazed at Micah’s text. Can’t come to meet you like we planned. Crashing after the 4am show. Pass will be at the box office. Come on to the bus. It’s 419. We take off at 9am with or without you.
With a frustrated grunt, I shoved my phone back into my purse. Most of the time, the boys were a lot more considerate of me. I guess they thought since this wasn’t my first time at the rodeo, so to speak, I should be able to take care of myself. Usually, they tried to treat me like I was still ten, instead of twenty-one.
“Where the heck is bus 419?” I growled.
“Yeah, just how much do you wanna see Blaine Bennett?” a voice asked over my shoulder.
I whirled around to see a roadie grinning wickedly at a very scantily clad girl. At the mention of getting closer to her idol, she pressed herself against him. “Really bad,” she purred.
Oh, ew. It was way too early for this kinda crap. “Um, excuse me?” I questioned.
While the girl acknowledged me, the roadie tuned me out. “Hello, I’m talking to you! I mean, I may not be rubbed up against you, but I am speaking.”
The roadie gave a grunt of frustration before turning around. His irritation faded a little as he did a pervy head to toe appraisal of me. “And just what can I do for you, sugar?”
The girl must’ve thought she was losing her chance to see Blaine whoever he was because she stepped around the roadie and tried blocking his view of me.
Craning my neck, I said, “Listen, I really need to find bus 419. I’ve got to find Jacob’s Ladder.”
The roadie’s eyes rolled back in his head, and I didn’t even want to guess what Miss Thing was doing to him. I glanced away and let the waves of disgust roll over me. I was so going to give the boys a piece of my mind when I finally found them. Realizing I was getting nowhere with the roadie, I stomped my boot on the pavement like the irritated child I felt like. “Look, I have a pass, and if I don’t get to Jacob’s Ladder’s bus ASAP, they’re going to be epically pissed, and I’m going to give them a full-on description of you so they can totally get your useless ass fired!”
The roadie momentarily jolted back into reality and pushed the girl back a little. “Hang on just a second, babe. She’s going to irritate the hell out of me until I get her to the bus.”
The girl’s lips curved down in a pout. “You promise you’ll come back and take me to see Blaine?”
He bobbed his head enthusiastically. “As long as you keep doing what you were doing.”
She grinned as he turned and trudged over to me. “If I don’t get Jake’s prize piece of ass to him, he really will fire me,” the roadie mumbled.
“Huh?” I questioned, as he jerked me by the elbow.
We wove in-between several more buses. When we arrived at one, he banged on the door. The driver appeared in the doorway with a biscuit in one hand and a headset in the other. “Yeah?”
“She’s supposed to be on the bus,” the roadie replied.
The driver eyed my luggage and guitar case. “You sure?”
I huffed exasperatedly as I waved the pass around my neck at him. “Um, yeah, the guys are going to be really ticked if you leave without me,” I snapped.
The roadie snorted. “Guess she’s their entertainment for the road.”
“I’m their sister, thank you very much.”
“Whatever ya say, babe. No judgment from me,” the driver replied. He put down his biscuit and headset and leaned forward to take my guitar case. ??
?The guys are—”
“Still asleep. Yeah, I know, and trust me, I also know better than to disturb them!” I replied as I climbed up the stairs. I turned around as the roadie shoved my suitcase at me. “Thanks. You’ve been so much help.”
He grumbled something under his breath before stalking away. The driver closed and locked the door before easing back down in his seat.
Motioning towards the living area, I said, “I’ll just go make myself comfortable until the guys wake up.”
“Fine,” he muttered before putting on his headset. I guess he was more than ready to tune me out.
I walked down the aisle and flopped into one of the captain’s chair. Ugh, what an absolutely shitty morning. Rubbing my temples, I tried soothing the headache that was already forming. Not only was it brought on by the stressful morning, but I hadn’t eaten anything yet, which was a huge no-no for me with my hypoglycemia. I’d overslept and been in such a rush to get to the airport that I had forgotten to grab the snack bag my mom, who still couldn’t grasp I was twenty-one not twelve, had packed for me. I didn’t dare take a peek in the cabinets to see what sustenance the boys might have. I was pretty sure they lived from one fast food joint to the next.
Instead, I leaned back and closed my eyes, hoping a quick nap might get rid of my headache. It wasn’t long before the gentle sway of the bus rolling along the highway lulled me to sleep.
When I woke up, my neck and head ached from banging against the large picture window. Raising my hands over my head, I stretched and yawned. The view outside boasted wheat fields spanning as long and far as I could see. Jeez, how long had I been out? A glance at my phone showed almost an hour. I whirled around in the captain’s chair to find the living area of the bus still empty and quiet as a tomb.
The boys must’ve been on one of their coma binges after an adrenaline-sucking weekend. Sometimes they could go for forty-eight straight hours without sleep, but then they would crash and burn for a whole day.
I picked up my phone and texted Gabe. Wake up, sleepyhead! Feelin’ lonely. My bros suck at welcoming their baby sister!
It was only a second before my phone buzzed. Hey Little Girl. Come on back to the bedroom. I’m just chillin’
I smiled and texted, B right there
Pulling myself out of the chair, I made my way past the bunks where Eli and Micah snored. I eased the bedroom door open, finding the room bathed in darkness. “Gabe?”
I was surprised not to find the television on or him playing Xbox. “I just texted you, so don’t think you’re going to pretend you’re asleep or something.”
A mound of clothes caused me to stumble forward, and I pitched onto the side of the bed. “Gabriel Andrew Renard, if this is your idea of a joke, it isn’t funny!”
A long moan erupted from underneath the covers as a body shifted toward me. When I was little, the boys, Gabe especially, used to love to scare me. I had a feeling where this was heading, and after the morning I’d had, I wasn’t in the mood. “Okay, fine. If you’re going to be a jerk, then I’m going back outside.” I grunted with frustration and started to hoist myself off the bed.
An arm snaked around my waist, jerking me down further onto the mattress. “What—” I started before the warm flesh of a man’s body pushed me onto my back and covered me with his weight. It took all of one second to realize this was so not Gabe.
Scorching hot lips met my own, and I shuddered. They pressed eagerly and with intense longing while fingers wrapped and tangled their way through my hair. When I opened my mouth to protest, a tongue darted inside, dancing tantalizing against my own.
For a moment, my traitorous body enjoyed the sensations pulsing through me. Then I realized I was allowing a stranger some heavy first base action while his hand started to round second. With all the strength I had, I pushed against him.
“Get off me!” I screeched.
He ignored me as his fingers fisted the hem of my dress. A lazy chuckle erupted from him. “Bree, babe, what the hell are you doing wearing clothes to bed?”
Bree? This jerk was mauling me because he thought I was someone else. I gritted my teeth and smacked his bare, and very sculpted, chest. “I’m not Bree!”
The hands left my body, and I heard fumbling above me. The light on the bedside table flicked on. I sucked in a breath at the drop-dead gorgeous face hovering over mine. His dark hair was buzzed short, and he had several piercings in his ears. Blue eyes, hazy with a mixture of sleep deprivation and desire, stared down at me. He drank in my appearance, stopping to linger on my heaving chest and how my dress had bunched up my thighs. A seductive grin stretched across his face. “No, you’re definitely not Bree. You put her to shame, Angel.”
When he started to lean over to kiss me again, I brought my hand in front of his face. “Look, if Gabe put you up to this, the joke is up. You got me. Ha, ha.”
His brows furrowed, and I noticed the silver hoop in one of them. “Who the hell is Gabe?”
My heart shuddered a little, and I tried to still the fear prickling over my body. “My brothers didn’t put you up to this?”
“No, babe, I don’t think so.”
“Oh God,” I moaned, bringing my hand over my eyes.
“So you’re telling me you didn’t sneak into my bed on purpose?”
I snatched my hand away and glared up at him. “Of course I didn’t! I don’t even know you.”
“Well, give me a chance to get to know you better.” He pressed into me again, and for a brief instant, I fought the longing crisscrossing over my body. After all, I’d never kissed a strange guy or been in a stranger’s bed. I’d never even been in a boyfriend’s bed. My experience with guys was pretty much non-existent.
“No, I have to go,” I murmured against his urgent lips.
“You don’t have to fight it. I promise I won’t think bad of you later on. And I’ll make you feel so fucking good, you won’t be thinking bad of yourself either, Angel.”
When it was very clear he wasn’t going to let me up, my desire got doused with anger. Who the heck did he think he was pinning me down and trying to get to know me better? Drawing all the strength I could muster, I brought my knee up against his groin.
“FUCK!” he groaned, rolling off of me.
Seizing the opportunity, I scrambled out of the bed. I threw open the bedroom door and stomped out into the hallway. “Okay, boys, you’ve had your fun, so cut the crap! You better get your sorry asses up right now!” I screamed.
Three pairs of legs dangled out of the bunks. Almost in unison, they hopped out onto the floor. Three bleary eyed, heavily tattooed rockers in various states of undress, stared at me with bewildered expressions.
“Oh shit,” I murmured before I pitched forward and everything went black.
***
Scorching pain ripped through my crotch, and I groaned in agony. One minute I’d been making out with an angel straight out of Heaven and the next a hellish wildfire raged through my junk.
In my haze, I heard the angel screaming her fucking head off and then I heard a loud thump. Once I could see straight again, I gritted my teeth and staggered out of bed. I cupped my aching balls through my boxers and stumbled to the bedroom doorway.
The angel, turned raging bitch, lay in a heap in the hallway. AJ sat beside her, cradling her head in his lap, while my other bandmates, Brayden and Rhys, knelt down, staring at her in silent wonder.
When Brayden caught sight of me in the doorway, he narrowed his dark eyes. He rose up and took a step towards me, his jaw clenched tight. His 6’1, muscled form might have been threatening if I didn’t know him for the total tenderhearted pansy he was. “Dude, what the fuck is going on?”
I threw up my hands. “How the hell should I know? I woke up to find her in my bed and then she nailed me in the balls!”
AJ shook his dark head of hair and snickered. “You gotta work on your game, man.”
I flipped him off before grinding the sleep out of my eyes with my fists. “I t
hought it was Bree—I mean, she’s always sneaking in my bed along tour stops. But then the chick was saying something about a dude named Gabe and her brothers putting me up to it.”
“That makes total sense. I mean, what sweet, straight-laced girl like this is going to be getting in your bed,” Rhys remarked, his blue eyes twinkling with amusement as he twirled the diamond stud in his ear.
We all gazed down at the girl. Nope, she was definitely not groupie material like Bree. She reminded me of Brayden’s wife, Lily. They’d been high school sweethearts, and somehow their relationship had survived the last eight years of craziness as our band moved from the garage to the biggest arenas in the country.
Scratching the dark stubble on his chin, AJ grinned wickedly. “Hmm, with the sundress and headband, she’s kinda got a Sookie Stackhouse/True Blood look going on. Pure but sexy as hell.”
Rhys wrinkled his nose and shook his dirty blonde head. “Oh hell no. She’s a hundred times hotter in the face than Sookie!” He motioned to the angel’s cleavage. “And damn, look at that rack.”
Brayden grunted in frustration. “Guys, could you stop thinking with your dicks for one minute, and focus on the fact we’ve got a poor, helpless girl passed out on the floor!”
“You’ve been married too long, Bray,” I mused, continuing to take in the blonde’s features. She had felt like heaven pressed up against me. Well, until she’d cock-blocked me rather painfully.
At her moan, we all jumped back like we’d been caught doing something we shouldn’t have. She blinked her eyes a few times, bringing her hand to her forehead. Her brows furrowed as she rubbed her fingertips into her hairline. Then her eyes flew open, and she stared up at us. Her face crumpled with mortification. “Oh God, it wasn’t a nightmare.”
AJ laughed. “Ya know, chicks are usually a lot more stoked about meeting us than you are.”
Her dark blue eyes widened. “Oh, I’m sorry if I sounded rude. I didn’t mean that how it came out.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Kneeing me in the junk was rude, babe.”