CHAPTER TWO
Nicole angrily flipped shut the cell phone just when the recorded message was about to replay. That was the fifth time she called that number without getting a response except that from the answering machine; it was frustrating, really. She actually felt like screaming at that moment, so she stood up and paced, gripping the phone tightly in her hand as if her life depended on it. She needs to talk to that person immediately. It's driving her crazy; everything is; restlessness, anxiety, pressure and sorrow all had a piece of her better part. Suddenly the cell phone vibrated in her hand and she jolted; felt a little bit of relief. Maybe it's her. It must be her. She flipped it open, placed it to her ear, said hello but heard a male voice. She spoke one word and hung up.
"Damn it!" She tossed the phone ont her desk. "Damn it!"
Her emotional baggage was so full that she didn't know which amongst the awful nightmares in it was more important to tackle first. Maggie's death had caused too much of emotional damage on her that she feared becoming unfocused in her job. She's probably going to remain that way for a long while; that's the scary part.
"Are you Ok?"
She looked up and saw a colleague coming in "No Joe; I'm not ok. I called Maggie's next-of-kin a thousand times without a response. It's infuriating." She said, rubbing her face in frustration."I've never met her, but the little I heard about her told me she's one hell of a bad news."
"Bad news?"
"Maggie said she has a major attitude and anger problems. She was last seen at her mother's funeral before leaving to God-knows-where right from the cemetery. She never visited Maggie, or called or wrote; what kind of person is that?" She sighed and smoothed her hair. "I have to find her."
"Yeah; well how? What are you going to do now that you couldn't get her on the phone?"
"I don't know."
"Look; maybe she doesn’t want to be found. She could be out of the country or up in some strip club in Vegas. Nicole, I think you should go home and rest cuz you actually look like some bad news too."
"What?"
He walked closer to her. "Your eyes are red, if you don't get some sleep you won't need your car headlights to drive home tonight. They'll glow."
"I don't need that right now." She waved off his joke.
"Nicole, I understand Maggie meant a lot to you; you've done your best but it's her time to go and there's nothing you or anybody can do about it. The surgery went well and she was at the point of recovery when she gave up. So pull yourself together. Go home and get some sleep." A wave of fresh emotion swelled in her heart; she gently leaned on his shoulder and cried. "It's alright sweetheart. It's alright. Just go home." He whispered.
Alone in her apartment cuddling a pillow, Nicole had the phone to her ear listening to the answering machine again.
Her voice sounded rude, she thought. Again she left a message.
She sighed, adjusted herself on the couch and tightened her cuddle on the pillow. The night was cold. She was wearing a brown hand-made sweater Maggie had given her the first day she spent the night at Maggie’s. She remembered their conversation vividly; it was Friday night.
"So why did you chose to go to med school?" Maggie had asked her after swallowing a mouthful of coffee.
"My dad was a doctor; a medic with the US Marines."
"Your father was a Marine?"
"Yes. Captain James Ingermanson, my hero. He taught me lots of cool stuff doctors do. I've known many medical terms when I was just five." Maggie smiled on that. "Mom died when I was in Junior high; I was there. I saw how the doctors struggled to save her life when she was having the multiple seizures from a brain tumour. Dad was on the plane from McGuire but couldn’t make it on time."
"Oh."
"Every time he's leaving home, he used to make me promise that I'll take care of mom. But then she died; and when I saw him coming through those hospital doors, I felt like, I kind of let him down. So I promised I'll never again fail to take care of anything or anyone he wants me to look after."
"So you became a doctor."
"Yes."
"And your father?"
"He died three years ago in Bagdad; it was a suicide bomber."
Maggie's blue eyes narrowed with pity and her lips drawn to a thin line. "I'm sorry," she said.
"I'm fine; but thanks anyway. I remember them always because they gave me a childhood filled with love and encouragement. So the best I can do for them is to live up to their expectations. Mom wanted me to be a doctor and I'm one. For dad, he'd never wished for more."
"I admire your courage Nicole. Taking that sort of responsibility at that age was something a lot of people won't dare. It made you who you are today." Maggie paused and took another sip and her wrinkled throat moved awkwardly as she swallowed. "I had a daughter in LA. She was... she was the best thing that ever happened to me."
“Had?”
“She died three months ago.”
“I’m sorry.” Nicole felt a lump in her mind.
“Oh please don’t be; like I said, she was the best thing that ever happened to me.” Nicole remembered smiling at the statement. "But she has a daughter that's completely alien from her. Oh that little brat got bad temper and attitude that I wonder where the hell she got them from at such a young age. I went through hell when her mother sent her over for the spring break. But I love her dearly. I used to sneak into her room to watch her while she sleeps. She's such an angel when asleep but a little devil when awake." Nicole giggled. Maggie laughed too.
"I wonder if my only granddaughter will change. I wonder if she can cool off and be able to make a life changing decision, you know, like you did."
"Don't worry. I think she will. Teenagers have this incredible attitude problem; but it changes with time. Though some do seek help from experts to manage it."
"Well; Kim will definitely need help. I wish you two have met; I'm sure you can help her, like you helped me."
"I don't think I can, that's not my expertise. I'm a surgeon not a psychiatrist. And besides I don't think Kim is that bad to need help."
"You never know my granddaughter. She's one hell of an issue." Maggie sighed and looked tenderly at Nicole "You are such an amazing person to talk to. I wish you two were friends; I'm sure she will learn a lot from you and it'll give me great joy if..."
"Maggie, please..." Nicole gently placed her hand on Maggie’s. "Kim will be fine. She'll come around some day, I promise."
Nicole cried more. The TV played on; Nicole didn't know what the show was all about. Her tears blurred her vision and her throat ached.
Some say no one knows the value of what he has until he loses it. Nicole knew how valuable Maggie was to her, that's why her death was so devastating and unbearable.
She kept on crying; and when she found out she couldn’t stop, she grabbed the phone and dialled Joe's number.
■■■■
Kim was lost.
She was barely conscious when she was brought out of the car and placed on a gurney. Her lips trembled as she tried to say her name when one of the medics asked her. The sounds and shakes of the impact resonated in her guts.
Kim didn't know how many shots of morphine she had. Her mind settled on few, not just one. As she's been attended to, she turned her head to the left and saw some of the medics over Jason. She didn't know what they were saying or doing to him. But then, her heart raced to her mouth when a man joined the others with a body bag.
No!
She watched in horror as Jason’s body was zipped in the black plastic and taken away to another ambulance.
"No! No!" She screamed quietly because she was too weak to say the words.
"Jason! No!"
And she passed out again.
She woke up in a city of light. No one was on site. She saw like a thousand empty alleys running through every corner of the streets. It was cold; harsh, sharp cold cut through her flesh. She stood at the spot where she found herself, turning round and round to see if someone was there. It was
the strangest place she had ever been. Suddenly she heard something; a movement, like someone walking. "Who's there?" She called weakly. The footsteps continued. "Who's there?" Her voice trembling as she spoke. The unpleasant combinations of fear and searing cold have knocked off every joint in her body. She walked a little bent forward, couldn’t stand straight.
A blurred figure appeared from the corner of her eye, to the left. She turned towards it. It was a man.
Pain and fear are terrible things especially if the dose of each is high in the combination. Although, high dose in one could reduce the intensity of the other, it didn't work for Kim. Her heart almost stopped beating when she saw the man.
He stopped just when she turned to his direction, waited for a moment, and then kept on walking.
"Hello." She called in a trembling voice. He didn't answer; he didn't stop.
"Hey; stop please." No word, he just kept walking.
She dragged herself after him. Her feet were bare and numbed by both cold and fear. Her whole body felt as if it were not part of her, but she managed to walk faster. The stranger kept on walking until he reached a dead end, turned right and continued walking. She followed until she caught up with him.
"Stop please."
He stopped, didn’t turn around. She stood a few yards away, panting from cold and weakness. Her heart thudded against the walls of her chest. Who or what is this man? She thought. She never knew what was coming!
"Kimberly"
A strange voice startled her to the bone. It came from nowhere and it sort of echoed across the empty alleys. But... That voice; I know that voice.
But of course she knew the voice; she hadn’t heard it for two years.
"Mom!" She called.
Kim didn’t know what just happened or what was happening or how it happened, but she saw herself facing her mother. The woman, tired and weak, stood at the far end of the alley, in a white robe, bare feet and a horrible face.
"Mom, what is this place?"
"You don’t belong here. This place is not for you. Not yet."
"Then why am I here?"
"Just so you understand there's a thin line between in here and out there; goodness and evil; life and death"
Kimberly absorbed the strange statement; only that it didn’t come from her mother, but from someone else. She almost dropped dead when she turned.
"Grandma!"
The old woman looked fresh and strong as if half a century had been slashed off her age. Her face was pale but grim, revealing strong lines of unwrinkled skin.
"Grandma what’s going on here?"
"You tell me." The old woman chuckled.
"I'm scared."
"You, scared, Kim? I thought you were ready to die that’s why you caused the accident. I thought this is where you want to be? You are now here. Congratulations."
"No. I don’t want to be here, please, I want to go home."
"This is home now." The old woman stated, turned to where Kim’s mother was standing. "This is our home now; and in this world here," The old woman continued "goodness begets goodness and so is evil. But people feel proud to gain the world and lose their souls. This is eternity; it's a journey you wouldn't wish to embark as a lost soul." Maggie’s eyes swept the entirety of the alley before settling back on Kim. "The question is; where do you want to belong; righteousness or evil? You have more time ahead of you. Will you spend it doing the good; or doing things like that?" She tipped her head at the man Kim had followed.
He had his back at them, but he slowly turned around and Kim saw the most horrible image of her life.
"Jason!"
His face was horrible; fresh blood cascading from his head down his face to stain his shirt. He raised his head slowly and opened his eyes. Kim screamed. The lights got brighter and sharper, closing in on her; she slumped to the floor.
"Miss Kimberly... Miss Kimberly... Please be still." A loud voice echoed in her head.
She jolt her eyes opened and found herself lying in a small hollow closure with bright lights above her face. She was inside a CT machine.
"Miss Kimberly, can you hear me?" repeated the voice from a speaker above her head.
"Please get me out of here." she cried.
It was 2:57am. The hospital was relatively quieter as most patients were asleep. Kim heard footsteps passing by her door, speaking in low tones. Her room felt comfortable; the lights were out, it's warm, there were soft pillows and clean sheets on her bed. But as far as she's concerned, comfort was far from her reach. She was wide awake, lying on her back with her eyes on the ceiling, crying them out.
Raw pain surged through her heart over and over. It was the pain not from injuries, but from a burning combination of loss and regret. The thought of causing the death of her best friend was killing.
Yes; she gets wild, mad and carefree a lot of times but she never took it to such extremes. Her most frequent lamentations when she's drunk used to dwell on her mother's painful death, her grandmother's naggings and on some of her obnoxious customers; never had she thought of killing someone.
The accident would forever be her worst nightmare; one she's never going to wake up from.