the boyand he was sorry and promised he'd behave himself. And mommy said thenthere's that dog--it follows him around wherever he goes, and he'ssimply wicked if the dog isn't around, and daddy said isn't it perfectlynormal for a boy to love his dog? Mommy said no, not like this, talkingto him all the time, and the dog acting exactly as if heunderstands--there's something wrong with the child, something horriblywrong.
Then daddy was quiet for a while, and then he said all right, if it willmake you feel any better we can have Doctor Grant take another look athim. Maybe he can convince you that there's nothing wrong with the boy,and mommy said please, Ben, anything, I can't stand much more of this.
When I went back to bed and Bobby curled up on the floor, I asked himwhat were fontanelles, and Bobby just yawned and said he didn't know buthe thought I was nice, and he would always take care of me, so I didn'tworry any more and went to sleep.
* * * * *
I have a panda out in the barn and the panda's name is Bobby too and atfirst Bobby the dog was jealous of Bobby the panda until I told him thatthe panda was only a make-believe Bobby and he was a real Bobby. ThenBobby liked the panda, and the three of us played out in the barn allday. We decided not to tell mommy and daddy about the panda, and kept itfor our own secret. It was a big panda, as big as mommy and daddy, andsometimes I thought maybe I would make the panda hurt mommy but then Iknew daddy would be sorry so I didn't.
Bobby and I were playing with Bobby the panda the day the doctor cameand mommy called me in and made Bobby stay outside. I didn't like thedoctor because he smelled like a dirty old cigar and he had a big rednose with three black hairs coming out of it and he wheezed when he bentdown to look at me. Daddy and mommy sat on the couch and the doctor saidlet me have a look at you young fellow and I said but I'm not sick andthe doctor said ha ha, of course you aren't, you're a fine looking boybut just let me listen to your chest for a minute. So he put a coldthing on my chest and stuck some tubes in his ears and listened, andthen he looked in my eyes with a bright light and looked into my ears,and then he felt my head all over. He had big hairy hands and I didn'tlike him touching me but I knew mommy would be angry if I didn't holdstill so I let him finish. Then he told daddy some big words that Icouldn't understand, but in think-talk he was saying that my head stillhadn't closed up right and I didn't have as much hair as you'd expectbut otherwise I seemed to be all right. He said I was a good stoutlooking boy but if they wanted a specialist in to look at me he wouldarrange it. Daddy asked if that would cost very much and the doctor saidyes it probably would and he didn't see any real need for it because mybones were just a little slow in developing, and mommy said have youseen other children like that? The doctor said no but if the boy seemsto be normal and intelligent why should she be worrying so? Then mommytold me to go upstairs, and I went but I stopped on the top stair andlistened.
When I was gone the doctor said now Carol what is it that's reallybothering you? Then mommy told him what she had told daddy, how shethought I knew what she was thinking, and the doctor said to daddy, Ben,have you ever felt any such thing about the boy? Daddy said of coursenot, sometimes he gives you the feeling that he's smarter than you thinkhe is but all parents have that feeling about their children sometimes.And then mother broke down and her voice got loud and she said he's amonster, I know it, there's something wrong and he's different from us,him and that horrible dog. The doctor said but it's a beautiful collie,and mommy said but he _talks_ to it and it _understands_ him, and thedoctor said now, Carol, let's be reasonable. Mommy said I've beenreasonable too long, you men just can't see it at all, don't you thinkI'd know a normal child if I saw one? And then she cried and cried, andfinally she said all right, I know I'm making a fool of myself, maybeI'm just overtired, and the doctor said I'm sure that's the trouble, tryto get some rest, and sleep longer at night, and mommy said I can'tsleep at night, I just lie there and think.
The doctor said well we'll fix that, enough of this nonsense now, youneed your sleep and if you're not sleeping well it's _you_ that shouldbe seeing the doctor. He gave her some pills from his bag and then hewent away, and pretty soon daddy let Bobby in, and Bobby came upstairsand jumped up and licked my face as if he'd been away for a hundredmillion years. Later mommy called me down for supper, and she wasn'tcrying any more, and she and daddy didn't say anything about what theyhad said to the doctor. Mommy made me a special surprise for dessert,some ice cream with chocolate syrup on top, and after supper we all wentfor a walk, even though it was cold outside and snowing again. Thendaddy said well, I think things will be all right, and mommy said I hopeso, but I could tell that she didn't really think so, and she was moreafraid of me than ever.
* * * * *
For a while I thought mommy was really going to be nice to me and Bobbythen. She was especially nice when daddy was home but when daddy wasaway at work sometimes mommy jumped when she saw me looking at her andthen sent me outdoors to play and told me not to come in until lunch. Iliked that because I knew if I weren't near mommy everything would beall right. When I was with mommy I tried hard not to look at her and Itried not to hear what she was thinking, but lots of times I would seeher looking first at me and then at Bobby, and those times I couldn'thelp hearing what she was thinking because it seemed so loud inside myhead that it made my eyes hurt. But I knew mommy would be angry so Ipretended I couldn't hear what she was thinking at all.
One day when we were out in the barn playing with Bobby the panda we sawmommy coming down through the snow from the kitchen and Bobby said lookout Jimmy mommy is coming and I quick told Bobby the panda to go hideunder the hay so mommy couldn't see him. But the panda was so big hiswhole top and his little pink nose stuck out of the hay. Mommy came inand looked around the barn and said you've been out here for a longtime, what have you been doing? I said nothing, and Bobby said nothingtoo, only in think-talk. And mommy said you are too, you've been doingsomething naughty, and I said no mommy we haven't done _anything_, andthen the panda sneezed and I looked at him and he looked so funny withhis nose sticking out of the hay that I laughed out loud.
Mommy looked angry and said well what's so funny, what are you laughingat? I said nothing, because I knew mommy couldn't see the panda, but Icouldn't stop laughing because he looked so funny sticking out of thehay. Then mommy got mad and grabbed my ear and shook me until it hurtand said you naughty boy, _don't you lie to me_, what have you beendoing out here? She hurt me so much I started to cry and then Bobbysnarled at mommy loud and low and curled his lips back over his teethand snarled some more. And mommy got real white in the face and let goof me and she said get out of here you nasty dog and Bobby snarledlouder and then snapped at her. She screamed and she said Jimmy you comein the house this minute and leave that nasty dog outdoors and I said Iwon't come, I hate you.
Then mommy said Jimmy! You wicked, ugly little monster, and I said Idon't care, when I get big I'm going to hurt you and throw you in thewood shed and lock you in until you die and make you eat coconut puddingand Bobby hates you too. And mommy looked terrible and I could feel howmuch she was afraid of me and I said you just wait, I'll hurt you badwhen I get big, and then she turned and ran back to the house. And Bobbywagged his tail and said don't worry, I won't let her hurt you any moreand I said Bobby you shouldn't have snapped at her because daddy won'tlike me when he comes home but Bobby said _I_ like you and I won't letanything ever hurt you. I'll always take care of you no matter what. AndI said promise? No matter what? And Bobby said I promise. And then wetold Bobby the panda to come out but it wasn't much fun playing anymore.
After a little while mommy called me and said lunch was ready. She wasstill white and I said can Bobby come too and she said of course Bobbycan come, Bobby's a nice dog, so we went in to eat lunch. Mommy wastalking real fast about what fun it was to play in the barn and was Isure I wasn't too cold because it was below zero outside and the radiosaid a snowstorm was coming, but she didn't say anything about Bobby andme being out
in the barn. She was talking so fast I couldn't hear whatshe was thinking except for little bits while she set my lunch on thetable and then she set a bowl of food on the floor for Bobby even thoughit wasn't Bobby's time to eat and said nice Bobby here's your dinner.Bobby came over and sniffed the bowl and then he looked up at me andsaid it smells funny and mommy said nice Bobby, it's good hamburger justthe way you like it--
And then for just a second I saw what she was thinking and it wasterrible because she was thinking that Bobby would soon be dead, and Iremembered daddy saying a long time ago that somebody fed bad things tothe Bennet's dog and the dog died and I said