Read My Wicked Wicked Ways: Poems Page 5

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  The heart

  a cruel

  white circle—

  pure Bengali.

  Here are the knees

  you claim are yours—

  devout Moroccans.

  The breasts

  to your surprise,

  Gauguin’s Papeete.

  Pale moon of belly—

  Andalusian!

  The hands—

  twin comedies

  from Pago Pago.

  The eyes—

  bituminous

  Tierra del Fuego.

  Odd womb.

  Embalmed.

  Quintana Roo.

  Amé, Amo, Amaré

  i

  What you said was

  I do not love you.

  Simply.

  Not once.

  Not ever.

  Not now.

  Never.

  Then you took me

  home with you

  because it was time

  to undress me.

  There was a moon.

  All the numb ride there

  it followed me

  and grinned.

  There was the house.

  Same as before.

  Same rattle of the door.

  Same sigh of burgundy.

  You took me in.

  Just like the other nights.

  Same tug. Same urgency.

  Made love,

  just as a lover does.

  Kissed me.

  ii

  I don’t remember that night.

  That is, I don’t remember

  the words you used precisely.

  I’m not sure who

  asked and who answered.

  Whether I shut

  my eyes or furled

  myself tight as a rose,

  I don’t know.

  Only that gossip moon

  already mentioned—

  wisecracking, whispering.

  Here is the little flag of news

  that lodged itself into the brain.

  How the truth finally came.

  Isn’t it funny?

  When you tug me beside you

  I dissolve like a ribbon of snow.

  And you tell me.

  The words clearer than ether,

  purer than poem.

  A wife, a wife, a wife.

  The woman you love and who loves you.

  All your life.

  iii

  Christ! Don’t act

  as if you didn’t know—

  under your breath.

  Years later over coffee one day

  you’ll confess—What went on

  in your head that night

  to make you so strange.

  Because I’ve folded myself up

  like a bird. I’ve folded

  one wing across one breast,

  the other, across the heart.

  Stiff as jute. Mute as an Egyptian.

  There…

  I’ve ruined the evening.

  I’ve ruined everything.

  I put my stockings on.

  My green green dress.

  (Funny I remember that detail—

  the green green dress.)

  And worse,

  you have to take me home.

  The long cold drive.

  The big black car.

  The wide front seat.

  You sitting far at the other side

  like a man at the wrong

  end of a telescope.

  The moon winks.

  I’m a simp I think.

  But I’m wrong.

  I know what I am.

  Men Asleep

  I have known those who sleep like a Ulysses

  beautiful in their 20-year weariness.

  And those who would drown

  themselves each night like lost sons.

  And those who could not let go of

  the leather loops of their love,

  their work never done.

  And those who go room into room into room,

  who shut themselves like doors,

  who would not let me in.

  New Year’s Eve

  I saw your wife tonight.

  No Athena. No Medea.

  No Adelita nor Malintzín.

  From what I could observe

  she is a woman risen from a rib

  like any other—

  two eyes, two breasts, one uterus.

  She did not arrive

  wearing raiments of gold

  on a barge from the Nubian Nile.

  No Botticelli pearl is she

  riding the crest of a wave

  on a pretty half shell.

  She did not trophy

  serpents in each upraised fist

  mighty as a priestess.

  She neither graced her

  walk with flowered skirts

  and balanced basket,

  nor stand Carmenesque,

  hands on hips, and thrust

  her haughty laughter out.

  She did not sling

  a rifle upon her back,

  nor a child across her breasts.

  Fire did not issue from her gaze

  and no music from her lips.

  Her hands were clean.

  Her forehead modest, serene.

  How did I fail to understand?

  A female, like any common female.

  For a common male.

  14 de julio

  Today, catorce de julio,

  a man kissed a woman in the rain.

  On the corner of Independencia y Cinco de Mayo.

  A man kissed a woman.

  Because it is Friday.

  Because no one has to go to work tomorrow.

  Because, in direct opposition to Church and State,

  a man kissed a woman

  oblivious to the consequence of sorrow.

  A man kisses a woman unashamed,

  within a universe of two I’m certain.

  Beside the sea of taxicabs on Cinco de Mayo.

  In front of an open-air statue.

  On an intersection busy with tourists and children.

  Every day little miracles like this occur.

  A man kisses a woman in the rain

  and I am envious of that simple affirmation.

  I who timidly took and timidly gave—

  you who never admitted a public grace.

  We of the half-dark who were unbrave.

  Tantas Cosas Asustan, Tantas

  Tantas cosas asustan. Tantas.

  Los muertos y los vivos.

  Lo que la oscuridad no nos permite ver

  y lo que nos permite.

  Pasos sobre un patio

  tanto como el silencio.

  Y cosas simples.

  Aritmética. La renta.

  El infinito también asusta.

  Números. El cielo.

  Dioses que siempre fueron y serán.

  La inmortalidad.

  ¿Cuál es peor?

  Estar siempre sola,

  o estar con alguien para siempre.

  Y el finito aterroriza.

  Nuestras vidas por ejemplo.

  El amor asusta.

  Igual la luna y los generales.

  Y pesan mucho.

  No uno por uno.

  Pero todos juntos.

  Como una lata de canicas.

  La felicidad, al contrario,

  es otro asunto.

  Tiene que ver con papalotes.

  Brooks Permissions: Four lines from “A Song in the Front Yard.” Reprinted by consent of Brooks Permissions.

  Harvard University Press: Excerpt from “After great pain a formal feeling comes” from The Poems of Emily Dickinson, edited by Thomas H. Johnson, Cambridge, Mass.: The Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, Copyright © 1951, 1955 by the President and Fellows of Harvard College. Copyright © renewed 1979, 1983 by the President and Fellows of Harvard College. Copyright © 1914, 1918, 1919, 1924, 1929, 193
0, 1932, 1935, 1937, 1942, by Martha Dickinson Bianchi. Copyright © 1952, 1957, 1958, 1963, 1965, by Mary L. Hampson.

  ALSO BY

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  Available wherever books are sold.

  www.vintagebooks.com

 


 

  Sandra Cisneros, My Wicked Wicked Ways: Poems

 


 

 
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