“Where are we?” I asked.
“Your house.” He chuckled softly. “Where else?”
I wiped at my mouth, thankful it was dry, then got out and stumbled up the steps and into the house. “I’ll shower in the morning when I’m more awake,” I said as I made my way upstairs.
“Don’t forget your book.” He pointed to the box of his father’s things.
I abandoned the steps to sift through the books, unsure which one I should pick. “What’s this?” It was thin, like a pamphlet, but hardbound. The faded, threadbare cover wore the words The Truth About Shape-shifters in old, block style letters across the front. I flipped it open. On the inside cover, it read, Brought to you by SWAAST.
“What’s SWAAST?” I asked.
“Shape-shifter Werewolf Alliance Against Slavery and Tyranny. They’re a group of shape-shifters and werewolves who help others who’ve escaped captivity or defied the king. They try to spread the truth through things like this. But the king wiped out most of them. I doubt they exist anymore.”
Interesting. I’d been close to retiring to my room, but my fascination with SWAAST reenergized me. “You don’t think they’re around anymore?” I asked.
“They’re a threat. King Mortimer would do everything in his power to destroy them.”
My eyes left the book to stare at Zack. “It’s a whole different world with its own problems and politics, isn’t it?” I examined the cover again, reading the title, and frowned. “Your dad was a scout.”
“That’s right.”
“Then why would he have this book?” Zack opened his mouth to answer, but I didn’t give him a chance. “If it’s that dangerous being part of SWAAST, we can assume it’s also dangerous to know them or even have these things in your possession.”
“I never thought about the danger aspect of it. I just figured he left it for me so I’d know about shape-shifters, not because he actually supported SWAAST.”
“But isn’t it safe to assume that if he was against them, he would’ve gotten rid of this book and never let you see it? If he supported the king at all, he wouldn’t have left it for you to learn.”
He paused a moment with a bewildered look. “Yeah, it seems logical he wouldn’t risk me getting caught with this book unless it was really important to him.”
“And it would only be important to him if he was a believer.” I hesitated a moment to let him absorb that. “Which proves my theory that good werewolves do exist.”
A gamut of emotions flickered over Zack’s face. “I guess so.”
“What did he look like? Your dad.” Now that I knew Lucio Gavino De Luca was worthy of the love Zack so obviously felt for him, I became more curious than ever. “You have pictures, right?”
“My mom had some photos, but they disappeared one day about ten years ago. Maybe my dad knew he wouldn’t make it back and didn’t want evidence he’d been there. If a werewolf ever saw the pictures and recognized him, I’d automatically be marked and a scout assigned to keep an eye on me until I came of age.”
“So he was trying to shield you. They found you anyway.” I glanced at the book again then Zack, tilting my head thoughtfully. “You don’t remember what he looked like? Not even a little?”
“I was too young the last time I saw him.” His gaze returned to the box of his dad’s books sitting by the couch.
I didn’t think Zack would be up for idle conversation. Or for me grilling him more on our kind and I was exhausted anyway. I waited a beat, not wanting to barge in on his private moment. “I’m glad he wasn’t a bad guy.” I rose from the couch, my SWAAST book in hand. “Well, goodnight.”
He gave me a half smile.
I made my way up the stairs with the book. Part way up, I glanced back. Zack rifled through the box like he was searching for something specific. He stopped and stared at a book intently while taking it with him to the couch.
† † †
“Autumn. Wake up.”
My eyelids fought me, but I eventually triumphed and squinted at the intruder. “What?” I croaked.
“We’re going to be late for school if you don’t get up.” He vanished from the doorway and I struggled to clear the cobwebs. I’d started the book, gotten my second wind and stayed up way too late reading it.
I sprung from my bed, pinned up my hair since I didn’t have time to wash it, then jumped in the shower. When I was ready, Zack was waiting by the door.
“Don’t you have an alarm clock?” he asked.
“My dad always woke me up.”
He rolled his eyes. “Great. I’ve replaced your dad.”
“If the shoe fits.” I snorted. “You are the one who insists on being just friends.”
We arrived at the driver’s side of my car and I raised my brows. He shook his head and rounded the hood to the passenger side.
On the way to school, I thought about the book I’d started last night. “So apparently, your people and mine don’t hook up because supposedly, mating makes both of them weaker.”
Zack cocked his head. “Yeah, I remember reading that. Didn’t pay much attention to it at the time, since I didn’t know any shape shifters.”
“So if we made out, you could lose to Daniel in a fight, because I made you weaker?” I spared him a quick glance.
Zack shrugged. “I guess. But by mating they probably mean… you know. Not just making out.”
“But you’re not positive, right? It could be physical contact and kissing. Why didn’t you tell me before we fooled around?” I made a turn, wondering what else Zack had neglected to tell me.
“If that’s all it took, we’d already feel weaker. And anyway, things like that don’t occur to guys when they’re kissing a hot girl. Besides, I read it like two years ago and forgot about it, ’cause I had no reason to think it would ever be an issue.”
That was understandable. “It’s odd — mating making us weaker.” I stopped for a red light and studied Zack. “Could be just a calculated rumor to prevent forbidden love.”
“Agreed. But since you and I defy the norm, who are we to say what’s possible and what isn’t? It could be some chemical reaction that sucks away our powers.”
Maybe. Maybe not. “What if it’s not true? According to the book, there are no documented cases except from the king’s court. He doesn’t like us and uses us as slaves. That’s not very objective.” I drove the Mustang past the gate and into the school parking lot.
“Yeah, but what if it is true? I don’t think any shifter or werewolf would be crazy enough to risk it. Oh, and from what I remember, socializing at all is illegal. You’ll read about that soon in one of those books.”
That was news to me. “So we’ve already broken the law?” I cruised by rows of cars until I found a spot wide enough to hopefully prevent any car doors opening and dinging my Mustang.
“Yeah. Like I don’t already have enough problems with the scouts. If we get caught breaking the law, the scouts taking me to the king will be the least of my problems.”
I stared at him, shocked. “Zack, you could be killed.”
He opened the car door, then stopped to eye me. “Then you’d better not let anyone find out you’re not human.”
As he hopped out of the car, I realized what he was risking. His life. For me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
I parked in the school lot, my mind stuck on what Zack had just said. So he and I being together as boyfriend and girlfriend wasn’t a matter of choice anymore? I couldn’t hope Zack would fall violently in love with me and take me on the run with him, because even if he did, we couldn’t do anything about it or we’d lose our strength and be easy targets. The future, the world and everything in it suddenly seemed so pointless and dismal.
I needed to move. But my limbs felt too heavy.
Zack nudged me as we walked away from the Mustang. Sluggishly, I followed, hitting the clicker to lock up.
“Hey,” he said. “It’s not like we could’ve been together anyway.”
Tha
t didn’t help. At all.
I whirled around to face Zack, yanking his arm and forcing him to halt mid-step. “I don’t know why you’re so cold about this, Zack. I know you like me. Why do you have to hide it?”
He stared at me so long, doubt for my theory crept up on me like a bedbug. Was it smoldering passion I saw in his eyes, because he wanted me so badly? Or annoyance because my assumption was horribly wrong?
“Never mind. It doesn’t matter.” I bolted ahead of him in a huff, a part of me wanting to lose him. But, to his credit, he kept up while still maintaining his distance.
In my cloud of temper, I hadn’t noticed Daniel step in front of me. I bounced into his chest, my forehead clipping his chin.
Daniel’s big hands clamped onto my elbows. “Come back to me,” he said so quietly, I doubted Zack could hear. “I can’t be without you. Please, Autumn. Give us another chance.”
Sure, he was begging now, but in a moment, when he didn’t get his way, he’d turn nasty again. “No means no, Daniel.”
Zack’s familiar scent surrounded me and his arm circled my waist. His hand slid over my hip, palm flattening over my stomach possessively as he pressed my back to his chest. Delicious. I naturally melted against his chest, my insides alive with little butterflies.
I looked into Daniel’s eyes, but he’d zeroed in on Zack behind me. All softness and pleading had vanished, replaced by fire. I gazed into his soul and saw destruction and mayhem. It hadn’t hit me until that moment that exposing Zack to Daniel put Zack’s life in jeopardy. Because of me. If I went back to Daniel, Zack would be safe.
“She’s with me,” Zack rumbled, his warm breath caressing my cheek.
“You sure, Autumn?” Daniel growled. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
“We’re both very sure,” Zack answered for me.
“She’s not yours to keep. You’ll see. And you’ll regret this.” Daniel released me and strolled off.
Zack spun me and cupped his hands around my face. I couldn’t tell if he was angry at me or disturbed by Daniel.
“From now on, you don’t walk ahead of me, no matter how pissed off you are. Got it?”
Angry. Definitely angry.
He left me at my first class and stormed away, making me feel guilty for racing off without him. As expected, he waited for me after every one of my classes. At lunchtime, we walked into the cafeteria and I spotted Daniel right away. Zack tensed.
Trevor appeared in front of us. “You think you can tear yourself away from your girlfriend for a minute? I need to talk to you.”
Girlfriend. I liked the sound of that. Too much.
“If you want to hang out with Maya,” Zack nodded toward our table where she sat, “I’ll be right here.”
I scoped out a spot with John and Maya where I could see Daniel. My friends took a break from their animated conversation to say hello. I returned their greeting, but it was half hearted. I didn’t feel much like talking, not with the new knowledge about Zack and the future of our relationship. Or lack of future relationship.
A few minutes later, Zack returned and sat next to me.
He called me your girlfriend and you didn’t correct him, I said silently.
He took a bite of a hamburger that smelled heavenly. Yeah? So?
But I’m not your girlfriend.
Right.
I’d hoped for a more encouraging answer, but wasn’t surprised. So why let him think we’re together?
He glanced at me as he chewed, one brow elevated. I’m spending every night at your house, shadowing you at school, double dating with you and defending you against Daniel. What do you think the chances are of anyone believing we’re not together? If we deny it, we look like liars.
I’d wanted him to say, “Wishful thinking, Autumn. I know we can’t be together forever, but can’t we live in the moment?” I wasn’t going to get an answer like that from him.
“Bathroom?” Maya nodded toward the cafeteria exit.
I nodded numbly and got up, not even glancing at Zack.
In the bathroom, she waited until the door closed before questioning me. “What’s up with you two? You guys haven’t spoken one word all through lunch.”
Actually, we had, but she couldn’t know that. I didn’t sense Zack outside, but would’ve bet anything he was close by, still looking out for me but not near enough to listen in. I knew Maya meant well, but I had nothing encouraging to offer and didn’t want to be interrogated. I stalled, going to the sink to wash my hands. “Nothing’s going on. That’s the problem.”
“Wow.” She stared at my reflection. “You superlike him.”
I dried off my hands and shook my head. “I do not superlike him.”
She spied my reflection in the mirror. “I know what happened. You slept with Zack, then realized you were madly in love with him. But he doesn’t return your feelings, because he’s in love with his neighbor’s twin sister who just returned from the Amazon after everyone thought she was dead.”
I laughed. “Maya, you’ve been watching too many soap operas.”
She smiled and I realized she’d gone on her weird tangent to distract me. I turned and grasped her shoulders firmly. “I do like Zack. Very much. But, no, we’re not hooking up. He stays on the couch and I sleep in my room. I promise.”
“You’ve kissed him though, right? I don’t see what the problem is.” She searched my face to find the answer.
“Yeah, we’ve kissed but—” I was about to tell Maya the truth, that Zack and I weren’t involved nor did we have plans to remedy that. But Zack’s reasoning came back to me — she wouldn’t believe me in a million years. “He wants to take it slow.”
“Has he brought up exclusivity yet?”
I sighed. “No, and he won’t either. His mom is the only thing keeping him here and she’s not going to live forever. This’ll never be a deep and meaningful relationship, Maya.”
That sounded so depressing when I said it out loud.
† † †
Zack waited right outside my last class, walking with me toward the exit with his arm wrapped around my shoulder.
At the curb, I heard Ashley. “Autumn.”
She appeared at my side as Trevor arrived and talked to Zack, who held my hand firmly — the perfect way for us to have separate conversations and still know where the other was. He gently squeezed every now and then. I couldn’t take it personally. Getting my hopes up would lead to more disappointment.
“I was wondering if you wanted to come by my house Friday night. Just some close friends and a jam session. If you play anything, bring it. It’ll be fun.” She frowned. “Uhm. No one else is having a party that night, right?”
I chuckled. “Not that I know of.”
“He can come too.” Her eyes darted to my boyfriend. “And Trevor and Maya.”
“I’ll ask them and let you know. Thanks for the invite.” I threw her a smile. “It sounds fun.”
She wandered off, but Zack and Trevor were still talking. Cars. Trevor had been saving up and was almost ready to buy.
“What’s your schedule like this week? I rarely see you around anymore except at dinner.” Trevor gave him a knowing look.
“Right. And you’re not always with Maya these days,” Zack said sarcastically.
“Hey, Autumn,” John said.
“Hi.” Beyond John, I spotted Daniel staring at me like a stalker. It gave me the creeps.
John followed my gaze. “What’s up with that guy? I didn’t like him before and he wasn’t nearly this disturbing.”
The last thing I wanted was to involve John, so I lightened my tone. “Who knows?”
“How’re your parents? Still traipsing around the Grand Canyon?” John asked.
“Oh. I didn’t tell you. They came home and left again to Montana for a job. I got an email from them last night saying they’d arrived and all was well. They’ll probably be home in a couple weeks or so.” I giggled at John’s surprised face. “I know. Crazy, huh?
I guess they realized how unproductive it was to worry so much.”
“You ready to go?” Zack asked.
“See you tomorrow, John.” I waved to him as Zack dragged me away.
My day had been too deflating to enjoy my Mustang, so I tossed my keys to Zack and went to the passenger side. “So what were you reading last night?”
“Werewolf history.” He opened the door and adjusted the seat to accommodate his longer legs, then started the car.
I waited to hear more, but he didn’t volunteer anything else. Instead, his eyes fixed on the road ahead, hands stiff on the steering wheel. He definitely was not in a good mood. I wondered what the rest of the evening had in store for us, but had an idea it wouldn’t involve having fun.
“Why read it again? What were you looking for?” I asked.
“I thought about what you said and wondered if there might be something about my dad in the history books. Or any mention of SWAAST. Maybe when my mom’s gone, rather than run on my own, it might be safer to search for any who are left.”
“Hanging out with those SWAAST guys would be even more dangerous. They’re probably the most hunted people ever.” My voice rose. “Being with them is not safer.”
He glowered at me. “I won’t live my life afraid to do the right thing. What kind of a life is that?”
“Yeah, you’re a good guy who wants to do good. I respect you for that. But being stupid isn’t smart.”
Zack gave a quick laugh. “That’s profound, Autumn.”
“You know what I mean. You’re young and no match for werewolves who are hundreds of years old. You said with age comes strength. You’d be better off joining the king and honing your fighting skills until you get stronger. So long as you’re with them, they won’t hunt you for being a traitor. You’re no good to anyone if you’re dead.”
He glanced at me and nodded. “Okay. I promise to consider that before I do anything.”
I didn’t want to think about him leaving or getting hurt — or worse. If we didn’t talk about something else soon, I’d explode. “You want to go to Ashley’s little party Friday night? She invited us to a jam session.”
“I heard her ask. I figured you’d tell her no,” Zack said.