IV.
_MY HOME, AND WHAT IT WAS LIKE._
Now, do you know, I feel rather ashamed of myself that I have not allthis while told you in the least who I was, or where I came from. Ibegan in the middle by saying, "I want to go home," but never told youin the least where my home was, nor what it was.
Well, to tell you the truth, I did not know much about my family historyin those early days. I knew that my name was Mary Emily Marshall,commonly called Sissy, and I knew that my papa was "the gentleman thatmakes all the sick people well,"--"or tries to," Jane would add. I neverdid. Of course, if my papa tried to do anything he did it. That was mydoctrine. We lived quite down in the country among the poor people, andwe were not rich ourselves. Mamma had been born in this beautiful park,and I know now, though I did not then, that it was a great trouble atthe Park when she married the country doctor, who loved the poor peopleso much that he would not leave them to grow rich and honoured as aLondon physician. But there was no grandpapa left now to be angry; andgrandmamma, though we had never seen her, we had always loved for thebeautiful presents she sent us.
There were only three of us at this time--my little self; Bobbie, a boyof four years old, boasting of the fattest, rosiest cheeks in the world;and wee Willie, the white-faced, fretful baby of six months. Oh, howwell I remember the old house, with its great lamp hanging out over thelonely road, and shining among the trees, to show the villagers the wayup to their good, kind friend the doctor. Many were the blessings welittle ones used to get as we passed down the village street, and weowed them all to our father's goodness.
Happy times we had of it, Bobbie and I, in that old house at the top ofthe hill. I don't think any little brothers and sisters were ever quitesuch good friends. There were three years between us, but I was littleand he was big, so nobody guessed it, and we played together, and neverthought which was the elder. The great treat of the day was the gamewith papa in the evening, but that couldn't be counted upon. Very oftenhe would have to leave the dinner-table suddenly, and when we heard hispeculiar slam of the hall-door before the bell rang to summon us down,we knew that we had lost our game, and we comforted ourselves by tellingeach other that papa had gone to see some little sick child like babyWillie, and to make him quite well; and then we would make up our mindsto a good quiet game by ourselves.
PAPA AND MAMMA.]
We used to take turns, he playing at doll with me one time, and Iplaying at horses with him next time. How well I remember my hairless,eyeless doll, and all the pleasure she gave us! And good-natured oldnurse was quite willing, whenever Willie was a little better than usual,to work wonders with dolly's toilet. One week she would be a fine, grandlady, to whom Bobby would act footman and I lady's-maid. Next week, shewas a soldier fighting grand battles, and lying dead on the battle-fieldat last, with a patch of red paint on the forehead, and we two singingdirges and songs of victory; and then, all of a sudden, the soldierwas turned into a baby, with long white clothes and the prettiest ofcaps.
The day that grandmamma's letter came, asking for "one of the dearchildren to stay with her," dolly was just learning to walk. We werehaving our firelight play before tea. I had tied up my curls to looklike a grown woman's hair, and I had papa's umbrella to keep the rainoff dolly in her first walk. Bobbie had papa's hat and stick, and heheld Rosalinda's other hand. I was just telling him not to walk so fast,because his long strides would tire our little girl, when I heardpapa's voice calling me.
In a minute more I was standing between his knees, and mamma waswatching my face as I tried to take in the idea of this first visit.
"Jane shall go with you, my darling--you will not be all alone," saidmamma; "indeed, you shall not go at all if you had rather not, butgrandmamma wants to have you."
And then papa added a great deal about seeing the place where mammalived when she was my age, and told me that I should come back with suchrosy cheeks. And all the while I was thinking of the new doll's-housethat grandmamma would give me perhaps. The thought of this took me backto Rosalinda, and I felt sure that Bobbie would let her fall if I didn'tbe quick and go to him. So I said, "Yes, I will go," very much in ahurry, and was ever so glad to get away and run upstairs again.
"Queer little fish!" I heard papa say as I left the room. "She thinks agreat deal more about the doll and Bobbie, than of the visit toBeecham."
"Children never look far forward," was mamma's answer.
But I did look forward by and by. When dear Rosalinda was safely tuckedup in her cradle, and Bobbie and I had "time to think," as we said, thenwe talked it all over. And very wonderful plans we made. Such numbers ofinjunctions did I lay upon Bobbie, as to the care of the dolls while Iwas away, that the poor little fellow said with a sigh, "Yes, I'll tryand 'member, Sissy!"
So I consoled him by the thought of all the presents grandmamma wouldsend him when I came back. In fact, I was to bring something foreverybody, so I thought. Two dear little rabbits for Bobbie, perhaps anew black silk gown for nurse, a beautiful sash for the baby, and so on,and so on.
SO NICE!]
The next afternoon Bobbie and I had our last feast. Do _you_ often havefeasts? I don't mean cake and fruit, and good things at thedinner-table. Oh no, I mean a real tiny feast all to yourselves, withthe nursery-chair unscrewed to make table and chair, with square paperplates twisted at the corners, paper dishes with sugar on one, currantson another, rice or raisins on another, and little doll's-house cupsfor the make-believe wine and the real milk. Ah, that nice sugared milktaken in little sips out of the oldest nursery-spoons! How well I canfancy myself now, giving Bobbie his spoonful, while pussy lookedenviously up at us? Then it was that the bright thought struck me that Iwould bring home some real Beecham kittens to puss, that would do quitewell in the place of those dear little lost ones, that James had takenaway and forgotten ever to bring back? Well, you know, all thepreparations were made, my pretty new frock tried on, all my kissesgiven, and all sorts of messages sent home from the station, and in thehighest of spirits my first start in life was accomplished. What myfeelings were when the day came to an end, you know, so I need not tellyou.