“Brown!” he yelled and clapped his hands.
I smiled down at him. “Excellent. Now what color is this?” I lifted my hand and tugged at my ponytail.
“Pretty!” he hollered and I couldn’t help it, I laughed and then crouched down so I was almost eye to eye with him.
“I’m Gwen, who are you?”
“Javier!” he yelled and clapped again.
“Santo,” I heard from my side and I looked to see the older boy standing there, removed, watchful, eyes on me.
“Santo?” I asked and he nodded. “Hey, Santo.”
He didn’t reply, his body started swaying but his eyes didn’t leave me.
“You’re handsome,” I informed him.
He kept swaying and studying me.
“Do you like your Uncle’s big lair?” I asked.
His head tipped to the side. “Lair?” he repeated.
I swept an arm out to indicate the space. “His house.”
“We can’t run at home,” was his response.
I smiled at him. “You like it.”
He took a step toward me and stopped.
“Sunny,” he replied.
I looked at the windows then back at Santo. “Yeah, baby, it’s very sunny.”
“We can run and climb,” he continued.
“But you do it careful, right? So your Grandma won’t get worried?” I asked.
“Careful,” he nodded.
I kept smiling. “How old are you?” I asked.
“Five,” Santo answered, taking another step toward me and holding five fingers up in front of my face.
“Three!” Javier yelled, I looked at him to see he was having difficulty controlling his little hand to show me three so I reached out and gently tucked two fingers into his palm.
“Three,” I said softly.
“Three!” Javier agreed, joyfully looking at his hand.
“Can you hold it?” I asked and his gaze turned intent on his hand, his mouth twisted and he nodded.
Slowly, I removed my hand and he held up his three fingers.
Then I touched my fingertips to his soft, still chubby cheek before dropping my hand. “Perfect,” I told him.
His eyes came to me and he clapped again, then he hurtled himself at me. I braced at the last minute so I didn’t go down on my ass, the kid was freaking strong. His arms went around me and he gave me a slobbery, three year old kiss on my neck then yanked my ponytail.
Then as fast as he did it, he let me go and raced away.
Totally Delgado.
Santo raced after him.
I stood and found eyes on me again, all around, no grins this time; Delgado intensity was coming at me from all sides.
Weird.
Hawk’s arm came back to my shoulders and he curled me into his side again. I looked up and only had a second to prepare before his mouth hit mine for a very brief, very hard, very sweet kiss.
When his head lifted, I found my arms had wound themselves around his middle.
I stared into his eyes and couldn’t read them and lost the ability to try when his hand came up, knuckles skimming my cheek and down, it curled around my neck.
I forgot we had an audience when I re-focused and the look he was giving me set something wrong inside me.
“Are you okay?” I whispered.
“No,” he replied.
“Hawk –” I started but I didn’t know what I was going to say.
His hand squeezed my neck. “Totally missed out.”
Something was happening here, something important. I just didn’t get what.
“Hawk,” I breathed.
“Fuck me, totally missed out.”
“Baby,” I replied softly.
“Coffee, querida,” I heard, my neck twisted and I was surprised to see Maria standing there, offering me coffee.
I took it with a, “Thanks.”
“No problem,” she muttered, her eyes shifting quickly to Hawk then she turned back to the bacon on the stove.
“So Gwen, what do you do?” Gus asked and I looked at him, relieved at a normal question and how it shifted an atmosphere that had bizarrely grown heavy.
“I’m a book editor,” I answered then took a sip of coffee.
“Like it?” Gus asked.
“Yes,” I answered.
“What’s your Dad do?” Gus went on.
“Construction, ex-Army and part-time handyman because his daughter bought a money pit,” I told him.
Gus smiled. “Keeps us young, lookin’ out for our kids, no matter how old they are.”
“Well, I endeavor to give my father every opportunity to stay young.”
Gus’s smile widened. “Bet he loves every minute of it,” Gus guessed wrongly.
“He lectured me for five hours not to buy that house and I bought it anyway so when the bathtub crashed through the floor into the living room, he had to take an hour long timeout so he wouldn’t strangle me and be known on on-line encyclopedias as a daughter-killer so I’m not sure he loves every minute of it.”
“Trust me,” Gus stated, still smiling, “he loves every minute of it.”
“Okay,” I decided to agree.
“And your Mom?” Gus kept interrogating me.
“Meredith is a secretary for a divorce lawyer,” I answered.
“Meredith?” he asked.
“My stepmom.”
“What’s your Mom do?” Gus kept at me.
“Pop,” Hawk said low and Gus’s eyes went to his son.
“She disappeared when I was little,” I answered readily and the Delgado intensity hit me again coming from all sides.
“Sorry, Gwen, I didn’t know,” Gus said.
“It’s okay, Gus, it was a long time ago,” I replied just as Hawk’s neck twisted so he could look toward the door.
I looked up at him to see his brows knit and heard him mutter, “Who now?”
He let me go and moved to the door as I took another sip of coffee, smelled bacon and my stomach informed me I was hungry.
Javier came running into the kitchen. He smacked his Grandma on the leg and shouted, “Bacon!” and I grinned.
There was a commotion at the door, I twisted to look and saw Meredith leading, moving swiftly, her face panicked. Dad was coming behind her, his strides long, his face set in granite. And a woman was following them wearing jeans, boots, a blousy top shot with silver and a cool, beat up leather jacket. She looked half-hippie, half-biker babe, a look she pulled off and one I liked so much I felt a new phase coming on. She also looked familiar but I didn’t know how.
I tensed and turned, putting my coffee cup to the counter.
What now?
“Gwennie, sweetie, she wouldn’t –” Meredith started, her eyes glued to me, she didn’t even glance at the Delgados.
“Gwendolyn!” the woman I didn’t know shouted then broke into a run toward me. “My God, my God. A drive-by!” Then she passed Meredith and threw her arms around me as I froze, my eyes on Meredith. “My baby, nearly shot to death!” the woman wailed, swaying me side to side.
“Uh,” I started. “Do I know you?”
She jerked away, her fingers curving around my upper arms so hard I could feel her nails through the material of my hoodie.
“Do you know me?” she whispered.
“Gwen –” Dad began but the woman let me go and she whirled on Dad.
“Does she know me?” she shrieked and even Santo and Javier stopped scampering and stared.
“Libby,” Dad clipped but I felt the color slide from my face as I took a step back.
“Libby?” I whispered and she swung back to me.
“Yes!” she snapped. “Libby! Your mother!”
Oh my God! Gus was a voodoo master. One mention and then, poof! there she was!
My eyes flew to Hawk to see he was closing in on me as I swayed. Luckily, he made it to me, his arm hooking around my chest as he positioned his tall frame behind me and he anchored me to him before I could teeter
and fall.
“You don’t have to protect her from me,” my mother hissed at Hawk, her eyes slits.
“I’ll take the boys outside,” Von muttered, moving off his stool toward his sons.
But I didn’t look to see this happen, I only sensed him move because I kept staring at my Mom.
My Mom.
“Well, this answers that,” Mom was still hissing and she turned to Meredith. “I take it you didn’t share the letters and photos I sent,” she accused, Hawk’s arm tightened and my eyes shot to Meredith.
“I –” Meredith started.
“No, I didn’t,” Dad put in, moving in behind Meredith and sliding an arm around her waist.
Letters? Photos?
“I should have known when I didn’t get anything back,” Mom retorted then her eyes focused on Meredith. “My baby wouldn’t leave me hanging. My baby would reply to me!”
“It was my decision to keep you out of Gwen’s life, not Mer’s, so eyes to me, Libby,” Dad ordered.
“Oh my God,” I whispered.
Mom’s eyes didn’t swing to Dad, they swung to me. “You can say that again!” she shouted.
“You think you could take a second, calm down and see Gwen and Hawk have company and maybe we can discuss this in private?” Dad suggested.
“No! No I do not!” Mom shouted.
“Right, in other words, things haven’t changed,” Dad clipped.
“Fuck you!” Mom clipped back and my body jolted.
Hawk entered the fray. “Bax asked you to calm down. Now this is my place and I’m tellin’ you to do it.”
Mom swung to Hawk. “Do I care?”
Oh my God. My long lost Mom had a foul mouth and a death wish.
“Are you gettin’ why I did what I could to keep this woman outta my daughter’s life?” Dad asked Hawk angrily.
“I’m not getting it,” I whispered.
“Of course you wouldn’t, baby,” Mom stated.
“Then, Gwen honey, I kept ‘em and I’ll give ‘em to you,” Dad told me. “First letter she sent, with photos, was when your Aunt Mildred died and left you ten thousand dollars. In it she says she was working in Africa with starving children and needed money for food and medicine when she was really in Boulder workin’ as a bartender in a Harley bar and needed money to keep herself in dope.”
Boulder? Boulder? I thought my mother lived in Rapid City.
I stared at Dad.
Great. Just great. My Mom was foul mouthed, had a death wish, lived thirty miles away from me and was just like Ginger.
Fantastic.
All this I thought in my head.
“Please tell me this isn’t happening,” was what I whispered out loud and Hawk’s other arm wrapped around my ribs.
“Second letter, and honey, there were only two, was when you graduated from high school and I turned your school fund over to you. It was flood victims that time,” Dad went on and my eyes went to my Mom as Dad continued. “What’s it now, Lib? You hear about the drive-by and think to get in on the insurance payout or you hear she hooked up with Hawk and think to get something from him?”
“It’s me,” Hawk stated and I twisted my neck to look up at him and see his gaze was steady and unhappy on my mother.
“I don’t know who you are,” Mom snapped at Hawk.
“Bullshit,” Hawk replied and my body jolted again.
“I’ve never seen you in my life,” she returned.
“You were Pope Rountree’s old lady, until he threw your ass out, and you were at his place three times when I took meetings with him there,” Hawk replied.
Mom ducked her chin and turned her body slightly to the side.
What Hawk said was true.
Oh my God. My long lost mother had a foul mouth, a death wish and she was a gold digger!
“That explains it, why you wouldn’t get out of Rick’s fuckin’ livin’ room until we took you to Gwen, the whole time, red-faced and shoutin’. Because you knew, we took you to Gwen, we took you to Hawk,” Dad surmised.
My mother stared at my father and then shifted attention and blame.
“My daughter was the victim of a drive-by because your daughter,” she jabbed an angry finger at Meredith, “is a piece of shit.”
Meredith’s face paled, Dad’s got red and I lost my mind.
“Don’t you dare,” I whispered and Mom swung to me and I watched, holy crap, I watched her carefully rearrange her face.
“Baby –” she whispered.
“Don’t you ‘baby’ me, you lived in Boulder?” My voice went high on the last two words and Hawk’s arms got tighter but I leaned forward. “You lived in Boulder and you never came to see me?”
“Your father wouldn’t let me!” she replied on a shout.
“Who cares!” I shouted back. “If you want to see your kid, you’ll move heaven and earth to see your kid! You want to stay in contact, you don’t send two letters! You send two thousand!”
“Gwendolyn –” she started.
“I can’t believe you,” I cut her off. “I can’t believe I don’t see you for nearly thirty years and when I do, it’s because you know Hawk and you know he can afford Jimmy Choos!”
Direct hit, she winced then she rallied.
“Yesterday, you nearly died,” she told me.
“Uh… yeah, I know, I was there,” I replied sarcastically.
“I’m your mother! I’m worried!”
“You weren’t worried when Brian Takata broke my heart in tenth grade and I slid into the depths of despair. Meredith was! And it was then Meredith taught me the healing properties of cookie dough and, let me tell you, it was a good lesson to learn because cookie dough goes a long way to mend a broken heart. And, by the way,” my tone was acid, “Meredith taught me a lot of good lessons you weren’t around to teach.”
“Gwen –” Mom tried to cut in but I kept on going.
“And you weren’t worried when Scott Leighton crushed me to the point I knew I’d never fall in love again. Meredith was. And I didn’t have enough money to hire a good lawyer when Scott was jacking me around so Meredith got her boss to represent me and Scott quit jacking me around! You were in Boulder, or wherever but wherever was close enough for you to be there and you never were. Meredith was!”
“Yeah, I’m around and I know people, I hear things, and I know you’re in trouble because Meredith’s bitch from hell of a daughter is causing you trouble.” Mom returned.
I tore from Hawk’s arms, taking two swift strides forward so fast, Mom reared back.
“That’s my sister you’re talking about,” I snapped in her face. “And those are family problems and you… are not… family.”
“Gwe –” she started.
“Get out!” I yelled.
“I don’t believe –”
“You should. You initiated a play for my man’s money,” I bit out, thumping my chest with the flat of my palm. “You insulted my sister. You made my Dad get red in the face. And you upset,” I leaned in but pointed at Meredith, “my Mom!”
She reared back again and I watched her face get pale but she didn’t move.
“I told you, get out, you don’t, I’m siccing Hawk on you!” I threatened.
Her eyes slid to Hawk and I felt his badassness close at my back but I kept my eyes locked to my mother.
Then her gaze came to me. “You know,” she whispered, “I don’t see even a little of me in you.”
She said this like was an insult.
“Thank God,” I replied.
Her mouth got tight then she tossed her hair, which, unfortunately, was my hair (except dyed to look that way now) then she turned and, without looking at anyone, she marched to the door.
I marched to the fridge, pissed and sliding straight into full rant. “You know, I’d rather be firebombed again. No!” I corrected myself as I yanked open the fridge and reached for the cookie dough. “The drive-by. I’d rather endure another drive-by than go through that again.” I slammed the
fridge door and walked to a butcher block of knives, yanking one out at random. I slid out a cutting board from the shelves then I went to the horseshoe counter by where Meredith was standing and slapped the cutting board down. “And you should know, Meredith, that I do not blame you. Ginger is Ginger, we’re all family, we all get that.” I twirled my knife in the air. “It isn’t like we didn’t know this would eventually come to pass.” I slammed the cookie dough down on the cutting board and started to slice into it when strong fingers curled around my wrist and I felt a hard body pressed against my side.
I looked up at Hawk.
“Give it up with the cookie dough, baby,” he whispered.
“No way, Hawk, it’s cookie dough all around,” I replied, tearing my wrist from his hand and again circling my knife in the air.
He pressed his lips together. Then he suggested, “All right, then maybe in your present state you shouldn’t be wielding a cleaver.”
“I’m not wielding a…” I trailed off when I brought the knife I was carrying up between us and saw it was a huge-ass cleaver. “Shit,” I muttered.
His hand came back to my wrist and he took control of the cleaver. Then he stretched out an arm and handed the cleaver off to his hovering mother.
It was then I remembered we had an audience and it was then I remembered that life pretty much sucked for me and so it was then I burst out crying.
Hawk folded me in his arms, I grabbed onto his thermal, my fingers fisting tight at the back, and I shoved my face in his chest.
His hand slid up and curled warm around the back of my neck.
There was silence which led into murmurings of conversation, my parents introducing themselves to Hawk’s family but I ignored this because the presence of other beings during a breakdown, well, it was pretty much mandatory to ignore them but when they’re the family of the hot guy you’re sleeping with, you just met them and they just witnessed a unpleasant family reunion that ended in you ranting and brandishing a cleaver, it was a moral imperative.
When my tears subsided, my eyes automatically searched for the face which would make everything better.
I turned my head and focused on Meredith.
“I know Maria’s making breakfast but can you make me homemade donuts?” I whispered.
“I’ll go get the biscuit dough and vegetable oil,” Dad announced instantly and I felt rather than saw him move because my eyes stuck to Meredith.