“He’s probably delayed.”
“But he keeps his girlfriend waiting?” A.J. leaned against the glass display case that held cakes, cookies, and brownies.
“He’s not my boyfriend. He’s just a friend.”
The blender whirred loudly. The look on A.J.’s face puzzled her, as if he was saying, ‘is that so?’ He didn’t say anything, just pinned her with his smiling eyes.
The waiter handed them their drinks. Mandy started through the dozens of tables and chairs situated in the café. A.J. followed her.
“How about we sit?” A.J. suggested.
“I’d better look for my friend first,” she tossed over her shoulder.
“Sure.” A.J. stayed with her, now his shoulder brushed hers. “Mind if I come along? I’d like to meet one of your friends.”
“Sure. Okay.”
They walked back to the lounge area and it was still empty. Mandy let out a sigh, and sipped her drink. A.J.’s arm brushed hers. He stood so close, Mandy wondered why when she’d been certain that she’d seen some kind of closure in his expression at work earlier. He seemed like the same A.J. she’d been working with the last few weeks: teasing, flirty and glad to be around her. Maybe that didn’t mean anything. Maybe that’s how real men handled it—getting over and on with life—when relationships didn’t work in their favor.
“How about we steal this couch?” A.J. crossed to the same couch Mandy had sat on with Boston that first day she’d run into him here.
“Sure.”
After settling into the cushions, he smiled up at her.
He had an affect on her, she couldn’t deny that. It annoyed her that she couldn’t put aside her feelings for him completely. Her heart, she guessed, was not wholly parked in Boston’s camp, not sure how he really felt about her.
But he’d kissed her.
A.J. leaned over. His arm slid behind her on the couch. His other hand lifted, and his finger touched the tip of her nose. “You’re…”
Mandy’s heart flipped like a fish out of water. He was so close and so intently staring at her. She was afraid: afraid of how she felt, of what this meant, of what he would do.
“Today, you said you liked it when I touched you.”
Mandy’s throat drew into a knot she couldn’t swallow. She couldn’t speak, either. She just nodded.
“I like to touch you, baby doll,” he whispered now, his face drawn tight, earnest. His finger slipped from her nose to her jaw and traveled slowly to her chin, then to her lower lip. Instinctively, her lips parted.
An ache, empty and wide, opened inside of her.
His strong masculine aura swirled around her head, and her eyes closed as her mind fogged with the memory of the way he’d held her and kissed her on the porch. He’d made her feel so safe, so protected. His arms had taken every coherent thought and sent it into oblivion, leaving her feeling treasured. Before she could stop herself, she was leaning.
His finger tapped her lip and Mandy’s eyes flew open. He was inches away, his green eyes locked with hers.
“Is this what you want?” His warm breath fanned her lips. She did. But she didn’t. Only hours ago, Boston had stormed across the room, grabbed her face and laid a kiss on her mouth that Mandy so wanted to think meant something, claimed something: her.
Yet here was A.J. She took a deep breath and eased back a few inches so she could take in more air, think, decide.
He didn’t look at all surprised that she had moved away from him. In fact, the wary look on his face left Mandy glad that she’d decided against indulging in the kiss.
She held his gaze for a long time but didn’t answer his question. The wariness he wore changed into the faintest disappointment before the unmistakable look of acceptance crept into his features.
A.J. looked his usual calm self, but around them energy whirred, the undercurrent of which kept Mandy from being able to concentrate on anything. She didn’t buy the act. It bugged her that he could read her and that he thought she couldn’t read him. Was he playing a game?
“I think you better confess,” she said.
He tilted his head. The faintest smile played on his lips. “Confess? I haven’t done anything.”
“You’ve got something to say, why don’t you just say it?”
His face became serious. “I’m angry, Mandy.”
“I sensed that.”
“You’re smart.” His gaze skimmed every inch of her face. “It’s another reason I can’t give up on you, baby doll.”
Mandy swallowed another knot of discomfort.
“You…what do you mean, exactly?”
He reached out, took her hand, and held it between his two calloused palms. Lightly, he stroked the back side along the tendons of her fingers. “I mean that I want you.”
Mandy looked away, his gaze so penetrating she was afraid he’d get her to admit that somewhere deep down she’d been unable to completely dismiss her feelings for him.
“Look at me, Mandy.”
The comforting lure of his voice made her lift her eyes to his. “I thought a lot about it today, after work. It’s all I could think about, in fact. I told you, I’ve never met anyone like you. I’ve never met anyone that has gotten to me like this. I think about you, Mandy, and it’s not just at work. That’s why I came tonight. I knew I’d find you here.”
The honest urgency in his face caused Mandy’s heart to thump. While she cared about him, was attracted to him, she wasn’t sure theirs would be anything but a passing weather pattern. How could she lead him to think it would be anything more? Truth was, she doubted their priorities were the same.
“Why do you want me, A.J?”
He seemed to take the moment to think about what he was going to say. A heaviness drew the air around them into a closed place that made Mandy feel like they were alone in the store. When he didn’t answer, she started feeling like she’d asked something too deep.
“Maybe that was the wrong question.”
“It was the right question.” His hands tightened around hers. “You make me think I can have something I lost.”
Regret darkened his usually smiling face. She wasn’t sure what he’d lost, whether it had been a person he’d loved or a time he couldn’t take back, but she wanted to know. If she could help him, regardless of what became of their friendship, she’d do it. “What did you lose?”
He let out a sigh and pulled his hand from hers.
He pressed his fingertips together and pondered for a while. “I made some stupid choices, took the easy path because I didn’t think it would matter to anyone. It was my life, my decision. My family always thought I could do more with my life and wanted me to, but I didn’t want…
Nothing mattered that much for me to make the extra effort it took to work harder.”
“But you work hard.”
“Anybody can hammer in a nail, Mandy.”
“Yeah, but you said you wanted to work outside with your hands. Isn’t that good enough?”
“I don’t know, is it?”
His eyes held hers in an unspoken question she could never answer to his face. Mandy wouldn’t be a weakling and look away, she held his gaze even though she saw the pain in his eyes when he seemed to read the truth.
“So even if I got a respectable job, it wouldn’t be enough?”
Why did he have to lay his heart in front of her like this? Mandy’s insides ached. “You have a respectable job. You’re doing something you love.”
He sat back on a harsh laugh. “I don’t love construction, Mandy. It’s easy. It’s there. I don’t close my eyes and get high on the scent like you do.” He looked at her as if she stood a million miles out of reach.
“I…don’t want to hurt you.”
“Saying the words won’t hurt me, baby doll.” He sat back up, and with his finger, he reached out and trailed her cheek. “I can already see the answer in your eyes.”
Mandy’s gaze dropped to her hands, clasped on her lap. She could see wh
y adults played games. Maybe hearts were better left on a cliff than thrown into an abyss where there wasn’t even a surety that at the bottom of the chasm someone else would be there to catch it.
“Hey, there you are.” Cam’s chipper voice broke through the gulf of quiet resolution that seemed to be between them. A.J.’s hand quickly slipped from the side of her face to the couch.
Mandy turned and looked up at Cam, saw the wide-eyed look, and was sure her friend had caught the caress. “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt,” Cam coughed out.
For once, Mandy was relieved at Cam’s timing.
“Where were you?”
“Had to rush an order out to Saratoga Springs. Hey.”
Cam nodded in greeting at A.J.
A.J.’s face broke into the warm smile Mandy was used to. He stuck out his hand to Cam and they shook.
“A.J.”
Cam beamed. “Cam. Hey, I’ve heard a lot about you, man.”
Oh no. Mandy cringed. The last thing A.J. needed was more confusion. He lifted a brow at Mandy but his tone remained cordial. “Is that right? Mandy’s a thoughtful woman.”
“Woman.” Cam’s brows met for a moment. “Yes, she is. Well.” He rocked back on his heels as if he finally sensed that something thick was in the air. “I’m going to go get something. You guys cool?”
Once Cam had gone, A.J. looked at her, his green eyes on the verge of twinkling in that way that she loved.
“Nice guy.”
“Yeah, he is.”
“I guess I’m surprised.”
“You didn’t think I had nice friends?” She laughed, glad the mood was lightening. She treasured their friendship and didn’t want it to ever change, if that was possible.
“I knew you had nice friends, baby doll. I thought you were meeting Charlie here.”
Mandy swallowed. “Oh. No.”
A.J. blinked slow and heavy, eyeing her. She wondered why he was easy to read sometimes and hard to read other times, like now. She so wanted to know what made him look like that—as if he’d just eaten a big gourmet meal but was still hungry.
Suddenly he leaned toward her and kissed her cheek. His eyes glittered in that familiar way that made Mandy’s heart trip. “Charlie’s a fool if he doesn’t think you’re irresistible. Goodnight, baby doll.”
chapter fifteen
Mandy fell back against the couch like a balloon with a puncture. She blew out a breath, closed her eyes, and tried to sort one heart between two men. But her heart was not some field flower and she couldn’t choose one man over the other based on which petal was left.
“Where’d A.J. go?”
She opened her eyes. Cam stood in front of her, minus a drink. “He left.”
“He seems cool. You should go for him, Mand.” Cam sat down, slid his backpack off.
“He is cool. He’s super nice, thoughtful, gentlemanly.”
“Not to mention totally into you. I saw him touching you.” Cam unzipped his backpack but shot wiggling brows her direction.
“You saw? I was afraid of that.”
“There’s nothing wrong with it. It was awesome in fact. Like a scene from one of my books, the way he was looking like he could kiss you no holds barred. Sizzled.”
Heat rose to Mandy’s face. “Stop it.”
“You’re going to sit there and tell me you didn’t like it?”
“No.”
“Good, cause if you did I’d call you a liar. You were begging for it.”
“I wasn’t begging for anything.”
“You were practically in his lap!” Cam pulled out a paperback, opened it.
“Okay, maybe I was leaning.”
“You were definitely leaning.”
“Maybe I wanted it. But we didn’t kiss, as you saw.”
“Yeah, I was going to ask you why that didn’t happen? I was, like,” Cam let out a dog-like pant and grinned.
“He asked me if I wanted it and…I did, but I didn’t.”
“Still thinking about Boston?”
Mandy nodded. She stuck her thumb nail between her teeth. “He kissed me today.”
“What?! Wait.” Cam tossed his book aside and pulled his legs up on the couch in a cross-legged position.
“Was this a real kiss or another one of his maneuvers?”
“This was real.”
“Listen, I’ve read a lot about this. I know what I’m talking about. This is the classic climax for a triangle. Trust me. Boston is just getting warmed up.”
“You think?”
Cam closed his eyes and nodded. “Trust me.”
“What do I do about A.J.?”
“Hmm.” Cam rubbed his naked chin. “If only I could grow facial hair, I might look older. Girls might—”
“Cam, please.”
“Right. Who do you like more?”
“That’s the problem. I like them both for different reasons. A.J. is really confident. When I’m with him, I feel like…he just makes me feel like I’m the only woman in the world, and he wants me. He totally focuses on me. I feel safe. With Boston, it’s more like I know that he cares, but he’s tentative about where he puts his feelings.
That appeals to me, especially with A.J. being more aggressive. Boston makes me want him. For the first time in my life, I can’t make up my mind.” Mandy fell back into the cushions on a groan. “Why is this happening to me?”
“Because you’re a woman now, as A.J. so astutely put it. This is the big leagues. You’re out there. Consider yourself lucky.”
But having your heart torn in two was not glamorous, fun, or anything like the world portrayed it. It stunk knowing someone was going to get hurt, that she was going to do the hurting.
Mandy closed her eyes and tried to empty the stifling thoughts, but A.J.’s face meshed with Boston’s and both were lodged in her brain.
The darkness and late hour surrounded Mandy like a foreboding tunnel as she drove home. Her trip to the bookstore had done nothing to ease the confusion she’d carried with her since Boston had kissed her, and had only gotten weightier after the visit with A.J.
At the moment, life stunk.
She tried listening to music, but that only made her edgier so she flicked off the CD player and left her mind open. Whoever comes into my mind first, that will tell me where my heart is, she decided, emptying her thoughts.
Boston.
Like a panther he crossed to her, cupped her cheeks, and took that kiss.
Mandy closed her eyes for a moment.
She opened them and searched for the comfort she expected to feel after the end of the little game, but what was in her mind now was A.J.’s face, his earnest eyes searching hers.
Mandy let out a groan and stuffed her free hand through her hair. She couldn’t wait to get home, take a hot bath and sleep.
The familiarity of her street, of home in the distance soothed, giving a small lift to her mood.
Then she saw Boston’s truck parked in front of her house.
She almost stomped on the brakes but slowed instead. Her heart started to tap in her chest as she pulled up by his truck. She’d just said her goodbyes to A.J., and now here was Boston. She wasn’t sure how her heart would respond. He looked over as she idled next to him.
The expression on his face told her she’d startled him, but it vanished quickly.
After she parked in the driveway, she took deep breaths trying to settle her fierce heart, but it was no use.
The thrumming wouldn’t stop.
She jingled her keys in her hand as she walked down the driveway. The warm summer night was silent with the exception of a chorus of crickets hiding in the bushes.
Boston came her direction, his stride so confident the mere sight of his sleek walk caused her to break out in a sweat.
He stopped close. His brown eyes were fathomless in the darkness, staring like black fire into hers. Her whole body hummed. Why had she even doubted her feelings?
Boston was the one she wanted, it was obvious to
her now, and as plain as the beauty on his face.
Mandy waited for him to speak first. She doubted she could say a word anyway. Her heart was a hummingbird in her throat.