Neil smiled briefly and looked down to my bag on the sidewalk. “I work for Mr. Blackstone?”
I gave Neil my best stone face.
He tried again. “He will fire my ass if I don’t get you delivered to his apartment per his instructions?” He looked back up at me, his black eyes sincere. “I very much like my job, ma’am.”
My head started spinning with more wild thoughts of what I was doing, what Ethan was up to, how many people were involved in my business, and my list could have gone on and on. Man, oh man, did we need to have a discussion or what! Still, it wasn’t fair to take out my frustrations on Neil, who for all appearances was just doing his job.
“Fair enough, Neil.” I picked up my bag and got in the back seat. “But the deal’s off if you keep calling me ma’am, got it? My name is Brynne. And if Mr. Blackstone doesn’t like it you can tell him that he can kiss my informal Yankee ass. He should know that American girls despise being called ma’am!”
Neil tilted his head at me and cracked a grin as he shut my door.
He started driving as I seethed in the back seat. The silence just irritated me so I figured I might as well get it all out in the open. “So Ethan hired you to stalk me around London, huh?”
“Protection, ma’am…ahhh…Brynne. Not stalking you,” Neil answered.
“Protection from what?” I demanded. “Are you watching when I go for my runs in the mornings too?”
Neil looked up at me through the rearview mirror. “The city can be a dangerous place.” His eyes went back to the road. It had started to rain and the buzz of the windshield wipers dragged rhythmically back and forth. “He’s just very watchful is all,” Neil said quietly.
“Yeah, I know.” Ethan is watchful and controlling and more than a little high on the arrogant scale for my tastes much of the time. He was so in trouble with me. “So how long have you worked for him, Neil? Ethan tells me absolutely nothing, so I figure you can enlighten me.” I smirked into the rearview for his benefit.
“Six years now. We met in the SF.”
“That’s Special Forces right? So are you guys some kind of James Bond for the British government?”
Neil actually laughed and shook his head. “I can see why Mr. Blackstone keeps a watchful eye over you, Brynne. You have quite the imagination.”
“Yeah, Ethan’s told me that one too,” I said dryly.
As annoyed as I was with Ethan’s presumptions—which were well beyond out of line—I couldn’t really take it out on Neil. He seemed like a decent guy, and he had great taste in music. I liked him. Neil was simply doing his job. Whatever that was in regards to me.
Neil got the car parked and us into the elevator through the garage entrance. Before I knew, I was inside Ethan’s gorgeous home again, just this time, without Ethan.
Neil had me put his number into my cell and said he would be close if I needed anything. “How close is close? Am I private here? You can’t watch me in his house can you?” I checked his eyes for telltale signs of subterfuge. “Do not even think about lying to me, Neil. I will be out that door so fast Ethan will feel the wind ruffle his hair all the way from here to wherever the hell he is at the moment.”
Neil actually winced. “In here you are totally private. There are no cameras in the apartment, but out in the hall there are. So if you were to leave, I will see you. I’m in another flat across the way. Not far. Mr. Blackstone really just wants you to make yourself at home.” He put his phone up to his ear and jogged it. “Call me if you need anything, Brynne.”
The door latch clicked and my protector was gone.
Well this was weird. Alone in Ethan’s home with my overnight bag and a scrambled head. I wondered if I would ever feel normal again.
First things first, I went to the fridge, took out a chilled water bottle and drained half of it. The inside of Ethan’s refrigerator was well stocked with plenty of fresh things to work with so no problem on the dinner. I explored his coffee maker next and started drooling. Very nice indeed. I set a pot to brewing and checked out his sub zero freezer. Ethan’s housekeeper appeared organized to the point of labeled and dated frozen meals in nice plastic containers for easy identification. I passed on those. I wasn’t really hungry anyway after the massive Chinese lunch he’d fed me at his office.
I moved on to the bedroom and was instantly hit with remembrances of the last time I was in this room. I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of Ethan. He was everywhere even when he wasn’t. I stepped into his bathroom. The grotto shower of travertine marble was gorgeous, but that magnificent tub was a fantasy for a girl who did not have a proper bathtub in her flat. I knew what I was going to do first.
An hour later my skin was pink from the heat and soft from the bubbles. I’d dressed in my Jimi Hendrix t-shirt and a pair of Ethan’s silk boxers that were very swishy on me. I’d organized my purchases from Boots in a bathroom drawer, shaved my legs and slathered myself in primrose scented lotion.
I wandered back to the coffee maker and fixed myself a mug before drifting into the other rooms of Ethan’s apartment. The home gym had a state of the art treadmill facing the floor-to-ceiling windows. The view took my breath away. I love a city lights view, but imagined it was just as spectacular in the daytime.
I found what I believed to be his office and turned the handle. The room behind the door was indeed an office. Flanked by a massive oak desk, the opposite wall held a panel of TV monitors and other high-tech equipment. But it was the wall behind the desk that really caught my attention—a salt water aquarium glowed with light and colors and bubbles over the rippling water. I came closer and took in the rainbow of fish darting around elegant coral formations. The Lion Fish did not dart. He came up to the glass and fluttered an array of multi-colored fins at me as if in greeting.
“Hey, handsome. What does he call you I wonder?” I spoke to my fishy companion and sipped my coffee.
I ate a cherry yogurt at the kitchen bar and fixed a second cup of coffee. One whole wall of the main room held shelves of books. I perused his collection which was eclectic to say the least. Classics, mysteries, mainstream stuff and tons of historical fiction filled out most of it. There was some military history and books on photography. A large amount on statistics and gambling too. He had popular fiction and even a few books of poetry which made me smile. I liked that Ethan valued books.
I snagged a book of letters Keats had written to Fanny Brawne and took it into the living room to sit on the sofa and enjoy. I had my coffee, angsty love letters from a poet to his girl, and the twinkling night lights of London displayed before me.
I spent a nice hour before I set the book aside. I looked out at the city. This was the spot where Ethan had undressed me, right in front of his balcony window. He’d stepped back and told me that nothing compared to the sight of me standing in his house. Oh, Ethan. I decided to text him.
Brynne Bennett: <---is pissed at u about the neil thing. r crazy?!!!
Ethan Blackstone: <---crazy for u & we need to talk about things. miss very much.
Brynne Bennett: <---is wearing ur boxers right now and u better believe it, buster!
Ethan Blackstone: <---just got a hard-on picturing u in my shorts. pls leave on pillow cuz i’m never laundering.
Brynne Bennett: <---still pissed and thinks u have a beautiful coffee maker.
Ethan Blackstone: <---thinks i have a beautiful girlfriend. did u eat sthg?
Brynne Bennett: <---ate sthg. u have a pet lion fish. :)
Ethan Blackstone: That is Simba. I pamper him & he tolerates me. U 2 have much in common
Brynne Bennett: Ur getting no more BJ’s just 4 that comment. :P
Ethan Bl
ackstone: <---so wants to spank u right now…& kiss u…& fuck. ur killing me baby
Brynne Bennett: <---is getting sleepy. gonna take pill and get in ur bed. don’t tease me.
Ethan Blackstone: Never…Go 2 sleep my beauty. I will find u. <3
I got up from Ethan’s sofa and headed back to the kitchen to wash up. I cleaned out the coffee maker and set it up for the morning. All I would have to do is start it. I used my new purple tooth brush and took the pill. The super soft sheets of Ethan’s bed smelled of him; soothing and comforting me in my solitude. I filled my head with his scent and crashed.
Firm arms held me. The smell I adored floated around me. Lips kissed me. I opened my eyes to the night and saw shadows. I knew who was with me though. My waking was peaceful and gentle, something good, and for me, a totally new experience.
“You’re here,” I murmured against his lips.
“And so are you,” he whispered. “I fucking love finding you in my bed.”
Ethan’s hands had been busy in my sleep. I was naked from the waist down, his silk boxers long removed. Ethan was naked too. I could feel his hard muscles and solid flesh trying to meld with mine. My shirt was pushed up and my breasts being devoured by his rasping lips, whiskers tickling the sensitive flesh, teasing my nipples with sucking pulls until I was a moaning, writhing creature beneath him.
I buried my hands in his hair and felt the movement of his head as he worshipped my nipples and plumped the weight of my breasts with his hand. He stopped and pulled my shirt all the way off and stared down at me, hungry and beautiful. The light from the master bath filtered in enough to allow me some vision of him and I was glad. I need to see Ethan when he comes to me. It reassures me that I will be safe with him.
“Your bed smells like you.” I said.
“You are the only thing I want to smell, and right now I need the taste of you in my mouth.” Then he spread me wide and descended.
“Oh, God, Ethan!” The work of his tongue on my cleft, swirling and smoothing over heated flesh opened to him switched me from sleepy to sexed in less than a second. I couldn’t keep still even though he held me down and open at the inner thighs. The orgasm came upon me so fast and so violently that I heard myself shout through it, riding his tongue like a wanton, my muscles clenching and throbbing in scorching pleasure.
Ethan growled against my pussy lips and pulled away, probably staring at what he wanted to take with his cock. He didn’t ask. Ethan took.
He lifted my legs over his shoulders and pierced me hard and deep. He made sounds as his cock filled me. I was pinned by his invasion while still reeling with an orgasm so I could only hang on as he fucked me. The sex was fiery and demanding with him telling me how good I felt and how much he wanted me here in his bed and how beautiful I was. All words to bring me closer to him. More dependent on him. More tangled up in his world. I knew it.
Ethan made me climax again; nearly punishing strokes meant to claim first and pleasure secondly. But the pleasure was exquisite when it arrived simultaneous with him filling me up with his own explosive orgasm. I felt tears sliding down to the sheets as I accepted what he gave to me. He choked out my name, his eyes locked onto mine like the other times. I knew he saw my tears.
He moved my legs off his shoulders and propped himself against me, holding my face and stroking, his blue eyes searching, still buried in me flexing slow and deep with his talented cock, drawing out the pleasure. “You’re mine,” he whispered.
“I know,” I whispered back to him. Ethan kissed me reverently with our bodies joined; gentle explorations of my lips and feathery pulls and nibbles with teeth that only grazed. He held on to me and kissed me for a long time before he finally moved out of my body.
Fucking Ethan can only be described as beautiful in my head. I know to others it would be pornographic, but to me it was simply a beautiful act of us together. To be intimate like that with him wanting me so intensely was an addictive drug. More potent than anything I’d ever experienced before in my life. I think I could forgive Ethan just about anything that he might do to hurt me. And this was my very great mistake.
11
Ethan brought me my coffee in bed the next morning. I sat up against the headboard and pulled the sheet up to cover me. He raised an eyebrow as he sat down on the edge of the bed and carefully handed the mug over. “I think I did it right, but you have a taste and tell me.”
I took a sip and made a face.
“I put half cream and three spoonfuls of sugar,” he said with a shrug, “you set up the coffee yourself. All I did was press brew on the machine.”
I kept him hanging for another minute before cracking a smile and taking another sip of my delicious coffee.
“What? Just making sure you’re trained in proper coffee prep. I have my standards.” I winked at him. “I think you’ll do in a pinch, Mr. Blackstone.”
“You devil woman, teasing me like that.” He leaned in to kiss me, careful of the hot coffee. “I like having the coffee maker set up the night before. I wonder why I never thought of it.” He stayed close to my face, looking intently over me, his hair still messy from sleep and all the sex and still managing to look like a god. “I think you should be here every night to set it up just before you get in my bed.” He put his mouth right at my neck and grazed. “So I can bring you your coffee like this in the mornings, with you all naked and lovely, and the smell of me all over you from a night of fucking.”
I shivered from the words, and the images of that reality but we still had things to discuss. And this was an issue between Ethan and me. We didn’t talk enough about what needed to be worked through. When he got near me, the clothing dropped away, my body responded to him, and well, not much talking ever got done after that.
“Ethan,” I said gently, my hand at his cheek to stop him, “we need to talk about what’s going on. The bodyguard thing with Neil? Why would you do that and not tell me?”
“I was going to tell you last night after I brought you here but it didn’t work out like that.” His face fell away from me and he looked down. “The city is full of strangers right now, baby. You are a beautiful woman and I don’t think it’s safe for you to be taking the Tube and walking all over on your own. Remember that asshole at the club.”
“But I was doing that before I met you and I was just fine.”
“I know you were. And you were not my girlfriend then either.” He gave me one of his Ethan looks—the kind where I tense up and wait for the blast of Arctic air to hit me. “I run a security firm, Brynne. It’s what I do. How can I have you going all over London when I know the dangers?” He put a hand up to my face and started in with the thumb rubbing action. “Please? For me?” He put his forehead against mine. “If something happened to you it would kill me.”
I brought one hand up to his hair and dug my fingers in. “Oh, Ethan, you want a great deal from me and sometimes I just feel like I’m getting pulled under. There’s so much about me that you don’t know.” He started to speak and I shushed him with my fingers over his mouth. “Things I am not ready to share just yet. You said we could go slow.”
He kissed my fingers pressed to his lips and then tugged them down. “I know, baby. I did. And I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize you and me.” He kissed my neck and nipped at my earlobe. “Can we talk about a compromise?” he whispered.
I tugged at his hair so he would stop the seduction tactics and look at me. “First you need to actually talk to me and not try to distract me with sex. You’re very good at distracting me, Ethan. Just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll tell you if I can do it.”
“How about you accept a driver?” He took a finger and traced over the tops of my breasts where the sheet was slipping down. “No more walks to the Tube and hailing cabs in the dark. You have a car to take you anywhere you want to go,” he paused and pinned me with his very expressive eye
s that told me so much about his desire to protect me, “and I can have some peace of mind.”
I took another sip of the coffee he’d brought to me and decided to ask my own pointed question. “And why do you need peace of mind about me?”
“Because you’re very special, Brynne.”
“How special, Ethan?” I whispered because I was a little frightened to hear. I was frightened of my own feelings for him already. In such a short time he’d possessed me.
“For me? As special as it gets, baby.” He smiled his signature one side up twist and made my stomach flutter.
He didn’t say he loved me. But I hadn’t said it to him either. I knew he cared about me though.
He looked down again and picked up my free hand palm up. My wrist scar showed. The one I’m ashamed of and try to hide, but is impossible to conceal when it’s daylight and I am naked. He traced over the jagged line with his fingertip, so gentle it felt like a caress. He did not ask me how I got my scar and I did not offer to tell him. The pain of remembering, added to the shame paralyzed me from talking about it.
I had feelings for this man but I couldn’t share that with him quite yet. My indignity was too ugly and horrid to bring between us. Right now I just wanted to be wanted. Ethan wanted me. And that was enough to make me agree. Baby steps. I would accept his conditions for a driver, and he would accept my inability to share my past with him. We would go slow.
“Okay.” I leaned forward and kissed him on the throat above the vee of his t-shirt, the hairs of his chest tickling my mouth, his male scent already familiar to the point of downright necessity along with food and water and breathing. “I’ll accept the driver and you’ll tell me up front what you’re doing. I need honesty. I like that you are so blunt with me. You tell me what you want and I get it—”
“Thank you.” He started kissing me again. My coffee was set aside and the sheet was tugged away. Ethan pulled his shirt off and ditched the sweatpants and stretched out over me. I finally got a really good look at his body. Completely naked. In the light.