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  Natural Supernatural Love

  Poems

  J.J.Brown

  Copyright 2012 J.J.Brown

  ISBN-13: 978-0-9838211-5-1

  This book is also available in print at most online retailers.

  For everyone who has heard the voices of nature or the supernatural.

  Contents

  Natural

  Supernatural

  Love

  About the Author

  Books by J.J.Brown

  Natural

  Cliff Face Niche

  I am the pebble

  falling from the crumbling cliff

  and during the earthquake

  I nestle into a cliff face niche

  and find a life and live

  knowing the space is temporary

  and the earthquake is coming again

  that the face of the cliff will crumble

  and I will hurtle down through space

  following the inexorable pull of gravity

  I am the pebble

  falling from the crumbling cliff

  ~~~

  Spiraling Leaf

  single spiraling maple leaf above me

  is caught by the naked finger twigs

  of winter-stripped sibling trees

  and it trembles in their cold embrace

  my hands hover over the rushing stream

  over water crashing along the stony cliffs

  and I lean forward on the rocky bank

  with only these mute branches to hold me

  ~~~

  Bonsai

  twisting clipping trimming

  I am the bonsai

  both gardener and tree

  turning cutting winding

  make something beautiful of me

  ~~~

  Rain Storm

  rain pours down on the black-water beach

  and the raging storm claws up the waves

  reaching to the foaming midnight sky

  and her lightning bolts explode vertically

  and deadly electric bundles race horizontally

  where I sit alone on the black-water beach

  and the making of debris in the night

  become a shattering torrential reality

  and rain pours down on the black-water me

  ~~~

  Blackberry Brambles

  Throughout childhood years we waited

  for the blackberry we planted

  to become fruit bearing brambles

  like the rich tangle trailing

  on the neighbor’s stone walls.

  Who did not love the purple fruit

  hanging from their aged woven mass of thorns

  and who did not trespass to enjoy it?

  Throughout childhood years we waited

  for the seedling oak to grow and spread

  to thicken sprawling branches

  so we could sit beneath its splendor

  like the one up on the hill.

  Who did not love the gnarled trunk

  who did not climb the branches

  and hide in that deep cool shade?

  Now our blackberry brambles are overgrown

  now our oak tree aged

  but now they are not ours

  and none of us are there to eat the purple fruit

  or sit in the cool green shade.

  ~~~

  Urban Garden

  scratching the packed earth

  in the abandoned garden

  I rake and dig and hope

  urban creatures hear me

  and they watch and wait

  scoffing or aloof or shy

  but then while I sleep

  the scent of lavender roots

  calls each of them to visit

  and to imagine a garden

  and in the early morning

  songs emerge from memory

  ~~~

  Evening Steps

  summer comes softly to these quiet fields

  where the aster-pink native blossoms show

  ephemeral beauty by the silent gravel path

  and they have no struggle to live in this poor earth

  perfectly harmonized over a hundred seasons

  and gray mourning doves sit beside these quiet fields

  they coo and pace in the summer heat on dry grass

  until they hear your heavy evening steps arrive

  and wings whistle by in a cloud of feather flutes

  ~~~

  To Light

  hide from unkind night in quick breaths

  while insects air their nerve fervor

  on unkind yellow lights

  and wonder who sits in shadows

  and sleeps dark-cloaked or dreams

  and has he come for them or for me

  we all clamor to electric light like insects

  in quaking fear of unkind night

  ~~~

  Marsh Grasses

  who will cry over me now

  when you are gone

  who will await my steps

  who will listen for my breath at night

  and to the pulse of my heart beating

  only the seagulls hover over me now and call

  the summer heat hears my steps

  and the night listens to my breathing

  only the air feels my heart beating against it

  the wild marsh grasses run to me from me

  and not you escaping the relentless wind

  at harbors we no longer share

  ~~~

  Dover Air Force Base

  watch the army transporter plane at dusk by Dover

  its gray-green tail is half-exposed by the base hanger

  a mute reptile paused at dry intercourse

  it is pregnant with un-thought and un-life

  hear another prowl our marsh by day

  it’s in a blind burning search

  and screams a heart-piercing anguish

  straight through our ears to our hearts

  unconscious these seem in flight and pause

  oblivious of each other and of us

  suffocating with their cargo and intent

  we are lost here in the din of our own vulgarity

  ~~~

  Supernatural

  Spirits Walk

  spirits walk beside us unseen

  they lay down beds of petals

  where we would fall

  and send soft breezes

  to lift us up again

  demons walk beside us unseen

  they seek the soft moment of doubt

  between the out-breath and the in-breath

  here they probe our unexamined paths

  escaping their loneliness

  ~~~

  Grandmother's Prayer

  granddaughter don’t leave

  you see the spirits stay here

  when you go

  and mock my blindness

  in the dark

  they see with gray eyes

  that need no light

  and run on soft feet

  that make so sound

  on the dark oak floors

  or if you go leave on the light

  though I am blind

  so you may see them

  and they will fear your youth

  granddaughter don’t leave

  ~~~

  Peripheral Vision

  soft shades of fear flutter

  leave old songs spun of spider silk

  a small dead birdling on gravel

  a nestling rustling silenced

  tight fog-choked air

  down in the dark crevices lies

  this birdling’s broken frame

  and that spider’s web torn

  frayed
labor and lost love

  feather-perfect architecture

  unraveling on the evening street

  shades vanishing in the night fog

  ~~~

  Winter Stalking

  white snow marks off black tree trunks

  walking stalking trees too move

  sharp stiff trees stare back at me

  taller damp and green blue moss hidden

  they watch my gray eyes

  with their hazel ones in silent decay

  their wet dark moist mold infected

  outer layers protect a living core

  selfish earth you reach up mangling

  forcing entwining your new chances

  to grow into gorge out and push apart

  to conquer not just wood but stone

  I sit on a flat stone but am not safe

  it waits under your powder-blue film

  of moss lichens clinging prying

  here in the winter wood

  injured tree and rock and I wait

  for inevitable creeping clawing and smell

  that acid smell of earth it’s everywhere

  come to take in all of us the fallen ones

  ~~~

  Empty Casket

  Where has the man gone?

  His scent lingers in the room

  but he has become pain invisible.

  Stalk around the empty casket

  of the black suit reeking of ash.

  Nails search for wet jewels of eyes

  in hollow circles of vacant sockets.

  The waterfall of hair has run dry.

  A cat grabbed the black jacket

  piercing the dirty cloth with sharp teeth

  she shakes it ferociously

  thrashing without resistance.

  Feeling stops in the heat of crime

  but someone died here

  and now the floor devoid of objects

  is rolling up toward the white ceiling

  as corners of the room change shape.

  Where has the man gone?

  His scent lingers in the room.

  ~~~

  What the Wind Said

  the wind carries the birds’ voices

  here to this quiet room

  where a lost seagull wakes me

  saying ‘this is no longer the night’

  hours later the rock doves we call pigeons

  arrive and cluster at the stone window ledge

  between these cramped old brick buildings

  and their cooing echoes up the alley

  saying ‘here is the family yes all here’

  afternoon silence is broken by

  the mournful call of a crow

  alone in the top of the bare tree

  outside the back window

  saying ‘no this journey is not over’

  and no I cannot rest

  ~~~

  Library Lantern

  light a candle in the lantern

  this quiet evening to read by

  and close the patterned metal door

  to watch the shadows cling to the wall

  as people have done evenings

  for ages and ages past

  lean against the bookcase

  and imagine each book is a person

  lined up side by side

  and take one from the shelf

  to leaf through captured thoughts

  of lives that refused to end

  light a candle in the lantern

  this quite evening to read by

  ~~~

  Afterthought of the Gods

  gods heroes and prophets surely did arrive

  and my ancestors did worship and build

  I watch the ancient facades crumble

  and fold into natures embrace

  of great-great grandmother’s generation

  I arrive like an afterthought of the gods

  and build without worship

  hoping someone will tell me the story

  one was foretold and came and walked

  blessed the weak the infirm the small

  ~~~

  Love

  Visitor and the Teacup

  although you must leave

  stay with me a moment

  in this rose garden

  so the fragrance of your skin

  may linger in my hair

  as I slowly wash our teacups

  ~~~

  Childbirth

  I am the oyster and she

  my daughter is the pearl

  coated with love’s opal care

  she slips from my embrace

  where a crushed shell and broken

  I watch her roll away

  ~~~

  Jasmine Buds Opening

  tell me but silently no not with words

  if I were to hold you gently delicately and wait

  as patiently as a cool persistent green wave

  licks the warm dry sand

  to envelop and transform it

  tell me this soundless night

  would you tremble in my arms

  and show me no, not even pressing into me

  just so feather-light

  as slowly as the white jasmine petals

  of a hundred buds on our towering vine

  climbing over the still gray wall

  where they spread over time to open

  self-determined and unhurried

  the flowers reveal at once their symmetry

  and intoxicating breath to the dark night

  if I were to hold you just so and wait

  tell me lovely one but no, not with words

  if I were to hold you gently, delicately and wait

  could we be safe enough

  would you wait with me

  wake with me

  tremble for me

  ~~~

  Love Like You Will Live Forever

  love like you will live forever

  love like you will die

  a soft quiet peace is coming

  but I will not rage

  against it growing ever brighter

  remember my hair was just this color

  of my little brown dog’s smooth coat

  when I was a baby in mother’s photos

  and the lock of hair she saved

  and just this color of mango sorbet

  melting in my bowl here now

  I want to capture this moment

  to find a pen and write it down

  but the sorbet is melting in my bowl

  and the thought drifts away like music

  and my little dog looks up

  soft beautiful and light

  her eyes full of now and love

  and it makes our children angry

  as they see us entering darkness

  when we see us entering ever brighter light

  oh love like you will live forever

  but love like you will die

  ~~~

  Outside the Store

  look at him tonight outside the store

  he is thin and shadowed

  with obsidian glass-black eyes

  crystalized by the fire of this homeless life

  hear his softly spoken words

  ‘change, change for food?’

  feel his limp hands lift up

  in effort that cannot be described as hope

  nor action that gathers in some gain

  and be with him in senses you have not closed

  to life in the death-rift night air

  ~~~

  Brothers in Boston

  four French girls with long black hair

  loll about lost on Newbury Street

  singing ‘where is this where is that’

  a man in a blue oxford shirt

  whips out his phone tapping quickly

  the girls lean close and closer

  their curls drifting around his shoulders

  a circle of long bare legs around him

  laughter and ‘thank you
’ and ‘merci’

  what a lucky man

  his brother is leaner with long black nails

  at Back Bay Station waiting for the train

  singing ‘miss miss can you spare some change’

  ‘hey hey hey what are you doing here

  get out of here’ the ticket man yells

  ‘if you say so’ he responds and drifts away

  to a street vendor line gathering his change

  he leans forward as people lean away

  even the four French girls with long black hair

  what an unlucky man

  ~~~

  Illusion Heartbreak

  physics sings that reality must be the same now as then

  but living in illusions each one different from another

  living and swimming and holding tight to illusions

  reflecting shadows in multimedia imagination

  while reality shrinks and recedes then disappears

  illusion meets reality with heartbreak or schizophrenia

  a fractured mirror that was the self leaves an emptiness

  illusion is the heartbreak grasping is the cutting pain

  yes walk away from the sharp hungry darkness

  and wake up to leave the dream for sleeping

  because reality must be the same now as then

  ~~~

  Mirror

  I think no I imagine

  I hear you call my name

  and I stop and listen

  to running water

  to laughter to murmurs

  lift my eyes to the mirror

  breathe slowly

  listen silently

  no door to run to

  no hand to touch

  I think no I imagine

  the promises and the failures

  ~~~

  Motionless Waking

  motionless soft breaths

  in the moments before waking

  and not a hint of a breeze

  not a scent not a murmur

  still adrift in light gray sleep

  until the sound of a hand on the door

  and the glow of bright gold light

  the pulse and fury of my waking heart

  struggling to open the reluctant eyes

  but I can not move at all

  enveloped in gold light melting into white

  through closed eyelids falling

  as a feather-mist from inside

  into light weightless light

  a glowing golden mantle settles

  back around each breath

  where it appears and vanishes

  every moment life remembers me

  as if someone is at the door

  ~~~

  Not Forever

  please remember me because

  it can be said that I loved but not that I love

  and so my darling it was not meant to be forever

  not even once, not ever, not forever

  this shell called me is gone

  that once defined within as self

  and without as the other

  and nothing is in there any longer to love you back

  remember me because that which loved is in the past

  where this shell of me was inhabited by someone

  who passed through translucent to the world

  and I was dissolved and in dissolution lost

  but please remember me because

  I have not forgotten that I loved

  ~~~

  *****

  About the Author