Chapter 4
Throughout the day, all I thought about it what was going on at home. I just could not understand it. Just a few years ago, we were this kind, loving, functional family, but at that time, we were a mess (now I cannot say we are any less of a mess today, but at the time, this was new).
I came home that afternoon and went into my house. Dinner was not being made, and all was quiet in the house. I looked to my couch and saw my father sitting there in dead silence, looking at an old photo album from just after their marriage, where life was so simple.
“Hey Dad.” I said.
“Hey David.” He responded quickly putting away the photo album he was looking at.
“What are you doing?”
“Just remembering the good-ole-days. You know, as soon as they find out how to travel in time, no offense, but there is nothing stopping me from going back to that time. Back then, I just didn't appreciate the awesome life I was living. I just, sort of, took it for granted, thought that was how life was going to be forever. Boy how I was wrong. When you get married one day, savor those times. Savor those times when you think the world is smooth, when you think nothing can stop you, because soon enough, something will stop you, stop you dead in your tracks.”
I didn't say anything for a moment, letting those words sink in. Then, I looked down at the one picture my father had taken out of the album.
The picture was of my parents standing on the summit of Mount Rainer. I had never known my parents had climbed Rainer and decided to ask him about it.
“You climbed Rainer, Dad?”, I asked.
“How did you know that was Rainer? Haha, that's my boy. Yes, in fact, I did climb Rainer, and let me tell you something, it was not easy. Halfway up we got stuck in a rainstorm. Your mother and I had our best bonding time ever sitting in a tiny cave, the two of us, just talking. Talking about the questions of life. About her life, and mine. I had a great time. It was much better than any of the Colorado 14ers I've ever climbed. Hopefully, though, that can be matched tomorrow.” he responded.
“So, even after all that happened yesterday, you still want to go?”
“David, if we didn't go on that trip, I would be disrespecting to some of those who love me, of course we are going on the hike! It is time, David, to conquer that mountain. The mountain that has been staring back at us for our entire lives.”
At that point, I remembered all of the times of my life I looked up at that mountain, it's crystal-like cross looking right down at me. It's razor sharp peak high above, cutting through my hope. There were times when dark clouds hung over the mountain, the summit not visible, my dreams not visible either. No more broken ankles, just a broken mountain after I had conquered it. At the time, I thought the moment I reached the summit would be a culminating, no the culminating, moment of my life.
“Dad”, I said, “Let's get out backpacks ready.”
“Let's do it”, he replied, not a moment's hesitation in his voice.
….
I went to sleep that night invigorated. The feeling that was coursing through my body I could not describe. It was somewhere in between anxious, excited, scared, and brave. That night, I thought some more of the meaning of this hike we were about to go on. It meant so much more than what was on the surface.
Yes, this was about my mother and grandfather, but it went even deeper than that. It was about the revival of my family. If we successfully complete this hike to the summit of Holy Cross, then my family can become whole again. My father and I can bond and have that relationship we had before my mother's death. My aunt can finally see that there is hope in this big, dark, world.
I went to sleep that night, I don't know how, but I did, thoughts buzzing around my head like an annoying bumblebee, and went to sleep. The next day would be the biggest day of my life.
….
3:45 AM was when my father came into my room to wake me up.
“Good morning, David, wake up. We have a long day ahead of us.” he said.
“What was that?” I said still half asleep.
“Today is the hike. We have to get moving!”
As soon as my father said that I hopped up quickly, eager to get the day started. It was probably the quickest I have gotten out of bed in my life, but I didn't care at the time, this day I hoped would shape my life.
I scurried to get into my hiking gear, happy as a clam. I didn't care that it was around four in the morning, it could have been anytime for all I cared.
I walked down the stairs on that morning, not really expecting that my breakfast would be made, I mean, my father had so much to do. But, surprisingly, when I came downstairs my cereal was on the table, extra milk in my bowl as always.
When I saw my father I asked him why he made my cereal when he had so much to do.
He responded, “Son, I always have enough time to do something for you. And don't forget that.”
And to this day I have never forgot what he told me on that early summer morning. It's too bad he never told me that again after the hike.
Around an hour later it was time to go to the trailhead. I am always a little leery about driving around where we live, especially in the dark. Not only does it look entirely possible for your car to go to tumbling off the road, but you never know when the next deer is going to park itself in the center of where you’re driving. Oh, and we cannot forget the bumpiness that can cause just about anyone to puke all over if they are not in prime condition.
But, on that morning this did not matter. All that mattered was climbing the darn mountain. Anything else would be a catastrophe. The mountain was the only thing that mattered to me.
Looking back on it, maybe I shouldn't have focused so much on the ultimate goal of our expedition, and maybe just on the whole journey of getting there. I feel like nowadays society just wants results, and forgets that it actually takes work to get there. For instance, parents will just say when you bring home an unsatisfactory grade on a report card, “You better get all A's on your next report card or you will be punished” without fully understand the effort and studying it will take to get there.
If I had been focused on the journey, maybe the trip could have turned out differently. But, at the time it all about that summit who has tortured me for years. God, it still hurts me to be thinking about this.
Anyways, we put all of our supplies in the car, before my father told me to sit down on the steps to have one more talk with him before he left.
He said, “David, I just wanted to thank you for putting up with my nonsense all of these years. You have seen me at my best, at my worst too, so, as we are about to go on one of the biggest excursions of our life, I just wanted to let you know that I love you, and nothing will ever change that.”
I responded, “Thanks Dad, you know I am always here for you too. Now let's get out to that mountain and kick some ass.”
“You got that right!”
And with that, we both got into the car, and, together, were off to face Mount of the Holy Cross.
That car ride was one of worst in my life. When I tell you that someone must have put rocks on that road, because that was a rocky ride! I was on the verge of puking multiple times, but the reason why I was in the car got me through it.
Honestly, when we got into that car, it would probably have taken an earthquake to stop us. We were like a bulldozer. “Get out the way, because we definitely aren't stopping!”
Finally, after a long, tedious car ride, we got to the parking lot, unloaded the car, and started on this wild journey.