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She stared back at him in surprise.
“You don’t believe me?” He reached out, his arm lifting slowly, his fingers reaching out to lift a strand of curls from her shoulder.
She glanced quickly at where he held her hair, biting at her lower lip as she tried to still the pounding of her heart. She had dreamed of his touch for so long, waited for him, longed for him. Oh God, this isn’t fair, she wailed silently. She had waited for this for so long, now her own insecurities were eating her alive. It didn’t matter that her therapist had warned her to expect this. She felt as frightened, as off balance as she had the first months after the attack.
“Rowdy…” Her throat tightened as she fought herself, the fear and need warring inside her.
“It’s real easy, baby,” he crooned, his dark velvet voice washing over her. “You just lift your arms and put them around my neck. ” He let go of her hair, fingers curling around her wrists as he lifted her arms, urging them up until they curled around his neck. “Then you come up real close to me, so I can hug you back. ” His arms went around her, slowly, so slowly, pulling her against him until her head rested on his chest.
“There we go. ”
She was shaking, but was it fear or something more? She didn’t know what she was feeling, didn’t know how to assimilate the sensations and emotions washing through her.
“I came home for you, Kelly,” he reminded her, his breath caressing her ear as she jerked against him. “I came home to touch you, to taste you, to claim you. Do you know what I would have done if I had known you were home when I pulled in yesterday morning?”
She shook her head, a jerky movement as a small whimper left her lips. He felt so good. A man shouldn’t feel this good, powerful yet protective, hot and so blessed sexy.
“I would have come to your room and kissed you awake. I would have seen your pretty eyes opening, knowing it’s me beside you, my lips touching yours. I want that real bad, Kelly. Even though I know if Dad caught me he’d skin me alive. ” He breathed in roughly; the feel of his chest rasping against her breasts sent a shudder racing through her. “Now,” he whispered, “I really don’t care if he does skin me. ”
She stiffened against him, needing to draw away, needing to get closer to him. God, she hated this. Hated the fear holding her back, hated not knowing, not understanding the emotions raging through her mind and body.
“Rowdy—”
“Shh. ” He stilled her protest as he rubbed his head against hers. “Just settle here against me, baby. Let me hold you for a minute; let me know you’re okay. Just that. ”
“But I’m not okay. ” Her hands clenched in the fabric of his shirt as she finally admitted it to herself. “I’m scared, Rowdy. I’m so scared. ” She pressed her head against his chest, the words slipping free after nearly a year of burying them. She was terrified.
“I know, baby. ” He kissed her head, his hands running over her back. “But I won’t let you be scared of me. ”
She heard the pain in his voice, felt it tighten her chest. No, Rowdy would never hurt her, but fear was an insidious disease, and fighting it took more courage than she thought she had.
“We’re going to take this nice and easy,” he crooned. “We’re going to go upstairs and you’re going to sleep, baby. I’m going to lie right beside you so you know no one can get to you, no one can hurt you as long as I’m there. Okay?”
“In my bed?” She jerked back, staring up at him. “Ray will skin us both alive. ”
“Dad will deal with it. ” His expression hardened, determination glittering in his eyes. “He already is. You’re not sleeping; you’re not eating. We’re going to change that, starting tonight. ”
“Oh, are we now?” The high-handedness in his voice pricked at her.
“Kelly. ” He tilted his head, staring down at her, a smile quirking at his lips. “Are you going to fight me, baby? Really? Remember the last fight we got into?”
“You put another snake in my drawer, and I’ll start calling you Douglas,” she sniped. “I can’t believe you’d threaten me like that. ”
He smirked, his gaze drowsy, his expression so sensual it was enough to make her panties damp. And they were damp. Yeah, she was scared spitless at times at the thought of touching him, having him touch her, but he could make her so wet, so fast, that it wasn’t even surprising anymore.
“I’m just going to lie beside you, that’s all,” he whispered. “If you can’t sleep, then I’ll lie on the floor. But I’ll be there, Kelly. Will you trust me enough to let me be there? Remember yesterday morning, baby? You trusted me enough to almost bare those pretty little nipples for me. Keep trusting me, Kelly. ”
She was breathing roughly; the realization of it forced her to try to regulate it. She hated this weakness, this fear. Even the sessions with the psychologist hadn’t been able to erase it.
“I would trust you with my life, Rowdy,” she whispered, knowing she did.
“Come on then. ” His arms wrapped around her as he led her to the stairs. “Let’s go on up and see if we can get some sleep. I don’t know about you, Kelly, but I’m dead tired. ”
She hadn’t had nightmares in months, she thought as he turned out the lights and led her upstairs. She wasn’t sleeping well, but when she did sleep, she wasn’t waking screaming as she did in those first months. It should be safe. She could have something she had always dreamed of. Rowdy in her bed, sharing his warmth with her. Maybe even holding her. Surely she could handle that?
SIX
Kelly wasn’t really surprised when Rowdy stopped at his bedroom to get a pair of soft, gray cotton sweats similar to her own. He slept in the nude, so the concession he was making wasn’t lost on her.
“Okay?” He led her to her bedroom door, opening it carefully before stepping in ahead of her.
Kelly drew in a deep, sustaining breath, battling the confusing emotions racing through her. She had waited for Rowdy for so long that she wasn’t certain how to adapt to this abrupt shift between his careful distance and his sudden closeness.
“I’m fine,” she answered as she stepped in behind him, noticing the tension in his body.
“I’ll change in the bathroom. ” He closed the door behind her.
Kelly fisted her hands in her T-shirt as she bit her lip, fighting to hold back her nerves as Rowdy disappeared into the other room. She gazed around her bedroom, taking in the frilly curtains over the dark shades, the white lace of her comforter. It wasn’t exactly a man’s room.
Yet, Rowdy hadn’t flinched at it. He had filled it, overpowered it, and pulled all focus toward him. Not that she had expected anything less.
She was still standing in the middle of the room when he came from the bathroom long minutes later. She couldn’t stop her gasp, couldn’t help the leap of her pulse at the sight of him.
He was obviously aroused. In those pants, there was no way to hide just how well-endowed he was either. She swallowed nervously as her gaze moved over hard, flexing abs, sun darkened and powerful, to a wide chest and an expression blazing with hunger.
She took a step back, watching as his eyes narrowed on her.
“Come on, baby. We passed this point. ” His voice was rough, deep, a rasp of black velvet across her raw senses.
“I’m fine. ” Her hands knotted in the material of the shirt as she felt the flesh between her thighs heating further, dampening.
And her breasts. They felt heavy, swollen, her nipples almost painful with their sensitivity.
“I don’t think I can sleep with you, Rowdy. ” She fought to keep her breathing under control. “I don’t know if I can stand it. ”
He didn’t argue with her. He stepped over to the bed and pulled back the blankets before staring back at her.
“I’d never hurt you,” he whispered. “Come on, get into bed. Surely you’re not going to let something like a hard-on scare you off,
Kelly. ”
That wasn’t just a hard-on. It was Rowdy’s hard-on, and she was dying for it with the same intensity that she was terrified of it. Not because she was afraid he would hurt her, but because she was afraid of her own emotions, her own desires.
But when he extended his hand to her, she was helpless. Flushed, uncertain, she moved to the bed, crawling into it stiffly and lying down as he moved in beside her and reached over to turn out the small bed lamp.
And there he was, lying on his side beside her as she stared up at the ceiling, fighting to keep from touching him, from begging him to touch her.
“I told Dad I came back for you, Kelly. ”
Her gaze flew to his eyes, barely making out the glittering depths in the darkness of the room as she felt his hand move, felt it as it moved gently to her stomach.
“Rowdy…” She couldn’t breathe. His hands was like a flame through the material of the shirt she wore, pressing against her stomach as she felt her womb spasm with need.
“It’s nice and dark,” he whispered then. “Like a sweet, warm dream. Your dream, Kelly. What would you do in your dreams? What would I do to you?”
She couldn’t help the tiny moan that fell from her lips. She had many, many dreams of what she wanted Rowdy to do to her, with her. The things she would do to him, if she only knew how.
“This is dangerous. ” Her voice sounded strangled in the darkness around them as her hand gripped his wrist.
“Do you trust me?” The question had her breath catching on a sob.
“With my life,” she answered readily. And she did.
“Trust me to touch you. To bring you pleasure, Kelly. Let me touch you. ”
His hand moved, his fingers bunching in the shirt to drag it over her stomach.
“They’ll hear me. ” Her hands clenched harder around his wrist. “You don’t know what you do to me, Rowdy. You can’t understand—”
“Do you know what I want to do to those pretty breasts?” He shocked her to silence again. “I want to take this shirt off you, Kelly. I want to bare them and touch your hard little nipples with my fingers, then with my mouth. I want to show you how good just a touch can be. ”
The material of her shirt began to rise as she tried to draw enough oxygen into her lungs to protect the incredible sensuality of his statement.
“But you might get loud,” he whispered with a thread of amusement. “And I think I’d like you loud, Kelly. I want to hear you screaming in pleasure, begging me for more and more until you know you can’t take more, but you want it anyway. And that’s when you need a harder touch, more sensation. That’s when pleasure becomes almost painful and when the pain becomes ecstasy. ”
She shuddered as his hand moved against bare flesh and the shirt rasped over her hard nipples as he drew it slowly from her.
“Excellent,” he crooned. “I’m going to get you naked before the night’s out, baby. I’m going to hold you against me and feel the sweet, sleek warmth of your body. Would you like that?”
His hand cupped the hard swell of her breast as her breath rocked from her body and she arched, jerking against the touch as a million sensations began to riot through her.
She had to bite her lip to keep from crying out.
“How pretty,” he sighed, looming over her, his gaze on her face despite the warmth of his fingers caressing the globe of her breast. “What will you do when I get my fingers on those tight little nipples? Or my mouth between your soft thighs?”
“Rowdy, please”—her voice was a breath of sound as she shuddered beneath him—“I don’t know…”
“Shhh. Just lie here with me,” he whispered. “Let me feel you come for me. Just here in a bit, baby. Let me touch your sweet body and show you how good it can feel. Then you can sleep, right here against me. ”