“In the lack of control,” he said simply. “You liked that I took over.”
She smoothed her lipstick, considering his theory and realizing he was dead-on right. As soon as he’d stopped her in the hallway, the barrage of worries and what ifs had fallen away and she’d been happy to let the tide that was Kade Vandergriff sweep her onto a new beach. And once they’d gotten upstairs, she hadn’t had to think or worry about who would make a move or if it would be awkward or if she did something wrong. He’d taken care of it all, taken care of her. She’d just followed his lead and instructions and enjoyed.
The realization niggled at her. She’d spent too much of her life letting someone “take care of her.” She didn’t want to be that girl always looking to let some guy handle things. But when it came to sex, she was out of her depth. Having him guide her was a big part of the appeal. She just had to be sure that control didn’t bleed into anything else.
“I guess that was a big part of it,” she admitted. “It felt more comfortable to let you take the lead.”
A pleased smile replaced his serious expression and as if no longer able to keep from touching her, he took her hands and pulled her to her feet, caging her between his knees. “Well, lucky for both of us, my favorite thing of all is taking charge, so I’m more than happy to oblige that wish. You give me the okay, and you won’t have to worry about another thing. All you’ll have to do is show up and be mine for the night.”
That last part sent her mind racing down bunny trails she hadn’t even known were there in her psyche, images of what being his for the night would mean. “Are you going to make me wear a Princess Leia costume and chain me in your garage or something?”
He slid his hands onto her waist. “Wicked girl, now you’re just talking dirty to turn me on.”
She rolled her eyes, but the way he was looking at her had her body waking up in all the important places.
“I need to hear you say yes, Tessa. I want you. Once wasn’t enough. And I know you feel the same way.” When she opened her mouth to respond, he tugged her even closer, lowering his voice. “In fact, I’d bet the net worth of this company that you’re wet beneath this prim skirt right now, imagining all the things I could do to you. It’s taking all my self-control not to slide it up and feel for myself.”
Heat washed over her skin, like opening an oven and feeling the blast of it. Instinctively, she pressed her thighs together and averted her eyes, knowing he was right and hating that she was so freaking transparent.
He captured her jaw with gentle fingers and turned her head to face him. “Don’t be ashamed of that, own it. We’re two grown people who are attracted to each other. That’s something to celebrate and enjoy, not feel guilt over. Fuck being a ‘proper lady’—whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean—and be a woman who takes what she needs and deserves without apology.”
The fervor of his words hit her on some level deep beneath the layers of the person she put out into the world. That permission to grab onto what she really wanted or needed had never been presented to her like that before. Her life was full of how she could accommodate others, fit into the proper cardboard cutouts of their lives so she’d have a place, each foster home a new script to follow. And even when she’d become an adult, she’d simply signed onto another role with Doug—a paper doll with pretty costumes.
“I’m not sure I even know how to do that.”
“Then let me show you. One more night, Tessa. That’s all I’m asking.”
She took a deep, spine-straightening breath, resolve crystallizing inside her. On the exhale, calmness bled through her. Good or bad, her decision was made. “How do you want to do this?”
The satisfaction that illuminated his smile was almost reward enough. He leaned in and touched his lips to hers, a soft, cajoling kiss that had slow, rolling awareness building in her. “Can you trust me?”
She closed her eyes, her entire being melting from the simple contact of his lips against hers. Trust? Ha. She didn’t have any of that to give. But she’d asked him to take control so she found herself nodding anyway. “Okay.”
“Good. Give me your address and phone number.” He handed her a stack of sticky notes. “Let’s get together tomorrow night. If I keep you in here much longer, my assistant will be wondering why this interview is taking so long.”
“Where are we going to go?” she asked as she jotted down her information on the paper. “I’d prefer to keep this private since I’ll be working here now.”
He smiled and molded her body flush against his, her hands and the stack of sticky notes caught between them. God, he was so solid, so . . . guh. Her knees wanted to buckle beneath her just so he could hold her up. “That’s where the trust part comes in, beautiful.”
“Oh.” It was all she could manage to say with him pressed so close, his hardening erection imprinting on her hip.
“Now, go tell Maile that you’re hired and need to fill out a new employee packet.”
She grimaced and pressed her forehead to his, his instructions reminding her of just how screwed up of a situation this was. “This is so very, very wrong.”
He grinned, the boyish expression changing his face into something much less intimidating but no less attractive. “Ah, but that’s part of what makes it so damn fun.”
“You’re bad.”
“You have no idea.” He released her and grabbed the stamp again. Before she could figure out what he was doing, he hiked up her skirt, exposing her black underwear.
“Kade!”
“Hush.” He crouched down and traced a line along the edge of her panties, pulling them down ever so slightly. Electric pulses of warmth shot through her, every ounce of her being zeroing in on that single touch. But instead of dipping his hand lower and relieving the tension building there, he pressed the stamp to the spot right below her navel. “There we go. All mine for now.”
Her mouth fell open as she saw his name in blue on her skin. “You did not just stamp my girl parts, Kade Vandergriff.”
He laughed as he stood and tugged her skirt back down. “No, I stamped you. All the parts are mine through tomorrow night. Now stop dawdling and get to work, Ms. McAllen. I’ll pick you up at seven tomorrow.”
She shook her head and stuck the sticky note with her address and phone number to the lapel of his jacket. If he got to brand her, then she got to brand him back. “A chill just went down the spine of every HR manager within a fifty mile radius.”
He laughed and lifted the signed document from his desk, holding it up. “Not true. I have no power over you, remember? At least not when it comes to work.”
“And outside of work?”
With an expression she couldn’t quite pin down, he turned back toward his desk. “See you soon, Tessa.”
NINE
“Hold up, you hired someone to head up the fundraiser without even consulting me? Dude, not cool.”
Kade turned the volume down on his car’s speakerphone, deserving any wrath his younger stepbrother, Gibson, wanted to throw his way but not needing to hear it in full stereo. “Look, I know, but I have good reason. And yes, she’s inexperienced but I know she’s going to work her ass off.”
There was a long pause. “I’m waiting for this good reason. I don’t have time to babysit someone.”
Kade sighed and turned into the driveway. “Hey, I’m here, we’ll finish this inside. Do I need to wear a hazmat suit?”
“Nah, I’m not contagious anymore. But you may want to wear a helmet ’cause I’m kind of feeling like I want to punch you right now.”
Kade sniffed and cut off the ignition, ending the call. He grabbed a paper sack from the passenger seat and climbed out of his car. Gibson’s golden lab, Sasha, gave a happy bark from the front window when she saw Kade striding up the walk. He gave her a little wave and pulled out his key, but Gibso
n opened the door before Kade could get it into the lock. Sasha charged past Gib with excited whines and greeted Kade, stopping just shy of tackling him to the ground.
Kade grinned and gave her head a scratch. “Hey, pretty girl.”
The dog bounced on her front legs and appeared ready to launch herself at him again, but Gibson grabbed her collar. “Sorry. I haven’t been able to take her on her walks the last few days. She’s stir crazy and sick of me.”
“Can’t blame her there,” Kade said, giving his brother a once-over. Gibson’s normal uniform of Armani suits sans neckties had been replaced with wrinkled pajama bottoms and an old Pearl Jam T-shirt. And his dark curly hair was going in three different directions. “You look like you’ve been at an all-night kegger then passed out in the yard.”
“I wish,” he said, heading into the kitchen. “At least then I would’ve probably gotten drunk and laid. Strep throat was much less fun. Want a beer?”
“You got Diet Coke?”
Gib gave him that look that said diet soda was a chick’s drink, but pulled one from the fridge and tossed it Kade’s way. Kade caught it with his free hand and set the bag he’d been carrying on the counter.
“What’s that?”
“I brought you Avgolemono soup from that place by the office, figured that’d be better than chicken noodle from a can.”
Gib’s face brightened as he leaned over and opened up the bag, peering in. “Aw, hell yeah. That’s the good stuff right there. I’m telling you, you need to buy that concept. There are far too few Greek places around here.”
“Don’t worry, a Mediterranean concept is next on my list.” He slid onto one of the barstools on the other side of the counter. Sasha settled at his feet as if waiting for her own takeout to be handed over. “And go ahead and eat. It’s still hot.”
Gib looked up, eyes narrowing as he pulled out the container of egg-lemon soup. “Don’t think this absolves you from hiring someone in my department while I was out. Start talking.”
Kade shook his head, amused by this hard-ass version of his little brother. Growing up, Gibson had always been the meek one. Hell, the poor kid hadn’t had much choice. After Kade had left home, Gib’s father—Kade’s stepfather—had moved on to Gibson as the next easy target and had escalated from verbal beat-downs to real ones. The thought still made Kade’s blood go cold. He’d never thought that bastard would rail on one of his own kids.
Kade opened his soda and took a swig as Gib hopped up on the opposite counter and eyeballed him. “The woman I hired is the founder of the charity we’ll be sponsoring. She’s very dedicated to the cause.”
“Okay . . .” Gibson said, then took a bite of soup, keeping his eyes on Kade.
“And I told her the position was only temporary at this point. Though, obviously, if she does a great job and Evelyn is unable to come back, feel free to keep her on.”
“Sounds like a big if on the great job part,” he mumbled between bites. “So why her? What’s with this rush to hire? I’m going to be back in the office tomorrow. You could’ve waited for me to interview her.”
Kade blew out a breath, figuring he just needed to lay it out there and deal with the consequences. “Because it’s Tessa McAllen.”
“Tessa McAllen.” Gibson’s dark brows dipped low, like he was trying to access an old file in his brain. Kade could almost see when the light bulb clicked. Gib’s spoon dropped into the bowl. “Wait, the Tess? From high school?”
“The very one.”
Gibson put his bowl aside and slid from atop the counter. “Jesus, Kade.”
“She’s divorced and is trying to get back on her feet. Her heart is in the right place with this charity, and I think she can do the job.”
“And you think you can get her in bed,” he said flatly.
Kade’s jaw clenched.
“Goddammit, man. You saddled me with this girl because you want to get her naked? You could’ve done that without the song and dance.” He flattened his hands against the counter in front of Kade, scowling. “Look, I know she was like the forbidden fruit for you back then, the girl you couldn’t have. Hell, I get it. I wanted her, too. But come on.”
“You what?”
Gibson shrugged like it was no big deal. “I was two years younger but I wasn’t freaking blind. That girl was hot. Every time she walked across the quad in those little skirts, I had to stop whatever I was doing to watch. That chick had legs for days.”
Kade’s fingers gripped his bottle hard enough to make the plastic crinkle.
“And I know you think y’all had something between you two. But after everything went down, she never came back around, Kade. She never asked why you didn’t come back to school or where you’d gone. She stayed with that prick of a boyfriend and went on like nothing had happened. She was hot, but she was a stone cold, self-serving bitch.”
“Hey,” Kade said, anger surging at the accusation. “She didn’t have a lot of choices. You don’t know anything about what her life was like. There was a lot of pressure on her, and I couldn’t give her what she needed. Not back then.”
“Bullshit, bro. There’s always a choice. Did you know that after you left, rumors started that you had tried to rape her that night and dickhead rescued her?”
Kade looked away. He’d heard a version of that story from his mother when she’d called to check on him a few weeks later. But he’d been living with his dad by then and too numb about everything that had happened to care.
“And Tessa didn’t say a damn thing to dispel it,” Gib said, disgust in his voice. “I had to go to school hearing people calling my brother a pervert and a freak. Even after your class graduated, I had people giving me the side eye like I was some sort of criminal.”
“I’m sorry you had to deal with that,” Kade said, wishing he could’ve shielded his brother from more than that after he’d had to leave town. Maybe if he hadn’t been so fucked in the head over it all, he could’ve gone back and not only protected Gibson but told Tessa the real truth about that night. He could’ve saved her a lot of heartache, but he’d run far and fast and had forced himself to forget about that previous life. “The whole situation was twisted and fucked up. Tessa was caught in the middle and did what she had to do to protect herself. She’s not what you think. Trust me. I need you to give her a fresh chance. It’s been a long time. We’ve all grown up and moved on.”
Gibson leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. “I thought we had, but here you are, looking like you’re chasing after her again. Tell me the truth. Is this just about helping her out?”
He could lie to his brother, but it’d be pointless. Gib was too smart not to figure it out the first time he saw Tessa and Kade in the same room. “No. I’m sleeping with her.”
“Fuck. Of course you are.” He leaned his head back, looking to the ceiling as if it held better answers. “And now she’s willing because instead of some punk kid from Dunlop Road, you’re the Kade Vandergriff.”
“It’s not like that. In fact, I had to persuade her into a second date. She didn’t know who I was when we slept together. She found out about my job when I called her in for the interview. And she still doesn’t know I used to be Kaden Fowler.”
Gibson stared at him like Kade had lost his mind. “She doesn’t know?”
He sighed. “There hasn’t been a good opportunity yet. And I wanted her to get to know me as I am now, not by who I used to be.”
“And what happens when she finds out you fucked her under false pretenses?”
“Well, technically, I didn’t realize who she was either at the time.” He rolled his bottle cap between his fingers.
“And what about that you’re a dom?”
He groaned. “I don’t think I need to drop that bomb on her any time soon. At least not officially. I told her I like being in charge
and that I’m kinky. She’s intrigued by all of that, but she’s also as jumpy as a squirrel after her divorce. I have a feeling Doug wasn’t just verbally abusive but a controlling fuck—and not the fun kind of control. God knows what she went through in her marriage. I need to tread carefully.”
“And here we go again,” Gibson said. “My brother tortures himself by going after a vanilla girl who’s going to be freaked out by how you are. Why waste your time, man? You sure you’re not a masochist? You should just drop this whole thing, and I’ll sign you up for a session with Fabienne at The Ranch. She can beat this stupid notion out of you.”
Kade sniffed. “No thanks, I’ll leave that to you. I’m sure those paid sessions are very fulfilling.”
Gib’s expression darkened. Even though Kade was well aware of why Gibson went to The Ranch, the BDSM resort they both belonged to, neither of them usually acknowledged it aloud. He had a feeling his brother wasn’t as comfortable as he pretended to be with his conflicting proclivities.
But Gib shrugged, seeming to shake off the comment. “Hey, it’s better than getting knotted up in some relationship then realizing too late that your girl’s not into what you’re into. You’ve been down that road. Don’t do that to yourself again.”
“This isn’t a relationship.” Yet. “Tessa isn’t in the market for something serious,” he added, the reminder of his past mistakes like a mallet to the chest. He refused to liken this situation to that one. He and Angie hadn’t worked because he’d changed the rules of the game two years into their marriage. He’d never enter into another commitment without the woman knowing his very deepest kinks.
“She doesn’t want anything serious. And what about you?”
“Does it matter?”
“Fucking brilliant,” he said with a shake of the head. “You’re already getting tangled up, aren’t you? This girl is under your skin again.”
Kade slid off the barstool and stood, knowing his brother’s concerns were coming from the right place. Gib knew all too well the consequences Kade had had to deal with after his failed marriage. And he knew what was at stake now. But he was growing tired of the interrogation. He couldn’t explain what it was about Tessa to his brother. He couldn’t even explain it to himself. He just knew that when he was around her, his mine gene activated. More than a decade may have passed, but that automatic reaction hadn’t changed. It was probably something he simply needed to work out of his system because he’d been thwarted the first time around. But regardless, it wasn’t something he could ignore. “I’m just having a good time with her.”