Copyrights© Terri Anne Browning 2016
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of Terri Anne Browning, except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976.
1st Edition Published December 2016
Published by Terri Anne Browning/Anna Henson
Written by Terri Anne Browning
Edited by Lorelei Logsdon
Cover by Sara Eirew
Formatting by IndieVention Designs
ISBN-13: 978-1539745174
ISBN-10:153974517
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Needing the Memories is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
No part of this book can be reproduced in any form by electronic or mechanical means, including storage or retrieval systems, without the express permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer who may quote short excerpts in a review.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Epilogue
The Rockers Series…Companion Guide
Chapter One
Lana
It wouldn’t have been a special event if we weren’t running late. I tried not to let my irritation at every little thing that caused us to be another minute later show on my face as Drake pulled up in front of the school. It wasn’t his fault we were late. Last minute costume malfunctions had put us behind and I had no one else to blame but myself. I jumped out without a word and opened the back of our minivan.
Our four daughters were all in some stage of undress. Nevaeh was still tying her shoes and her jacket was only half on. Heavenleigh didn’t even have shoes on yet and her pigtails I’d spent twenty minutes trying to perfect were now lopsided with flyaways framing her adorable little face. Drake had picked her up and carried her and her shoes to the vehicle because I’d been about to lose my mind. I was lucky Bliss even had a diaper on. My youngest wouldn’t have cared. She was going through the whole naked stage where she toddled around the house stripping like a pro.
Pushing my hair out of my face, I reached in and grabbed the reason for all the chaos. Arella was the star in the Thanksgiving play her class was doing tonight. Why does it have to be the day before Thanksgiving, though? She was the one and only turkey that the Indians were supposed to offer to the Pilgrims. It had taken me and Layla three weeks to make that damn turkey costume because the PTA president bitch thought it would be ‘so much more fun’ for all the parents to get more involved and create the costumes this year. I’d been all for it until I’d found out my child was the one in the turkey suit this year. With her dark hair and slightly honey-kissed complexion, Arella would have been a perfect candidate for an Indian role.
Instead they’d made her the little butterball that sat on the damn table making gobble-gobble-gobble noises and required a million feathers to be stitched perfectly in place. And of course, my little turkey’s outfit hadn’t fit as well as I’d planned it would and I’d had to do some last minute improvising. Hence, half-dressed children and being ten minutes late for the damn play.
“Mommy, hurry!” Arella whined when I didn’t immediately move.
Blowing my disheveled hair out of my eyes because it had fallen right back into them, I took her hand and we ran into the school. Drake drove away no sooner than I was inside, going in search of a parking spot in the already overcrowded lot. I knew he’d get the other three inside and settled, and that all I had to worry about right then was Arella and the little tantrum her snobby-ass teacher was going to throw for showing up so late.
The halls were empty, but I could hear the sound of children laughing and a piano playing the first song. My heels clapped against the tiled floor as we rushed toward the auditorium. Fuck. Why did I wear these damn boots? Because I was a freak for sexy shoes, that was why, and now I was going to break my damn neck trying to get my child to her teacher before she had to take her place on stage.
By the time we reached the back entrance to the auditorium, I was out of breath. Damn, I needed to start working out again. I was pathetically out of shape. Grabbing the door handle, I held it open and waved Arella in ahead of me. Heads turned as the door slammed behind us, and three different parents who were helping behind the set gave me the stink-eye.
“Finally,” Mrs. Karnack whispered loudly when she spotted us. She marched forward, her face red with irritation. “You’re late.”
Arella lifted her blue-gray eyes to me. “Is your head going to explode, Mommy?”
I forced a smile for my second oldest child. She was so much like me and sometimes that wasn’t exactly a good thing. She said whatever was on her mind and didn’t care how many toes she stepped on. Normally I would embrace that and let her have her own opinion, but right then I wasn’t in the mood to deal with the teacher who was apparently only seconds away from her own mini explosion. “No, baby. Mommy’s fine now.”
I respected teachers. They had the most important and hardest job in the world having to teach the next generation. This woman, though? I wasn’t convinced she actually taught kids anything except how to be vain. Mrs. Karnack was about thirty-six but she had the body of a twenty-one-year-old. I’d never actually seen her eat anything, but she always had a bottle of some stupid cleansing juice in hand. She kept her hair perfectly styled and glossy every day while her makeup had always looked like it was airbrushed by a professional.
She’d been Nevaeh’s fourth-grade teacher as well, and we’d never seen eye to eye. Mostly because my eldest had an IQ that made the guys on The Big Bang Theory look like idiots, and the woman didn’t know how to handle a child who was so obviously smarter than she was. We’d gone toe-to-toe several times during her reign as Nevaeh’s teacher and even more so this school year as Arella’s. So I was expecting her lecture before she even opened her mouth.
“We talked about this yesterday,” the teacher chastised, drawing the eyes of all the parents and kids rushing around backstage. That was another thing about Mrs. Karnack—she loved to embarrass people, whether it was the student or the parent. She still hadn’t realized that it took a hell of a lot to embarrass me, though. “I told you both to make sure you gave yourself plenty of time to get here. Yet the play has already started and you’re just now arriving.”
She grasped Arella’s hand roughly, making her wince in discomfort, and my head really did almost explode.
My hands came down on Arella’s shoulders, holding her in place right in front of me. “First, you’d better let my kid go or I’m going to fuck you up.” My voice was low and cold, but she quickly released Arella as she realized her mistake. Seeing her gulp, I counted to ten in my head, not wanting to scare my child, because the rage that was boiling through me right then at seeing someone manhandle my daughter was making me see red. I hadn’t felt so pissed in years.
I pulled my daughter behind me, made her turn around, and then took a step closer to the teacher. “Second, we had complications with her costume. We’re late, but now we’re here. Cool your jets.” That was the only explanation she was going to get, and the apology I’d been ready to offer her just a minute before burned to ashes.
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“Mrs. Stevenson—” she started, her voice lacking the hostility from only a moment before. She looked around her nervously but after having witnessed the way she’d touched Arella, no one was going to jump to her defense. I heard the other parents whispering to each other, soaking up the scene like they’d never seen a pissed-off mother confront anyone before.
“And third,” I said, moving closer until I was in her face, “if you ever touch my daughter like that again, you’ll be investing in a pair of dentures because I will knock your teeth down your fucking throat.”
“I-I apologize,” she stuttered. “I-it won’t happen again.”
“It’d better not. Because if it does, I’ll have your job.” I turned my back on her and crouched down in front of my little turkey. Forcing a smile to my lips, I tried to ease the look of apprehension on her beautiful face. “You’re going to be the best turkey ever. I’m so proud of you.”
She wrapped her arms around my neck, giving me a tight hug. “I love you, Mommy.”
Standing, I took her hand and walked her over to the side of the stage where she was supposed to take her place. “I’m going to go sit with Daddy now. Gobble really loud so we can hear you, okay?”
She nodded her head, not even a little nervous about going out on stage with so many people watching. That was an upside to having a rock-star father, I guessed. She and her sisters were used to being in the spotlight, so this kind of thing didn’t even faze them. Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, I left her there and went to find Drake.
Our family had arrived long before us and had thankfully saved us some seats near the front. Emmie’s red head was easy to spot even in the low lighting and she waved, directing me straight to them. I took a second to push down the last of the rage that was still simmering in my veins from Karnack’s rough handling of Arella. One whisper in Emmie’s ear and that bitch would be out of a job by the next day.
Even with the lights dimmed I could easily make my way through the crowd. Our family took up three full rows because the kids had come tonight as well. Drake sat on the end with Bliss on his lap and an empty chair between him and Heavenleigh that he’d left for me. My little sister sat on the other side of Nevaeh and she blew me a kiss before turning her attention to Harris when he leaned close to say something close to her ear.
As I took my seat, I noticed all three girls were now perfectly dressed. I turned to my husband and kissed his cheek. “Thanks, babe. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
He gave me a smile, but even in the poor lighting I saw that it didn’t completely reach his eyes. “Anytime, Angel.”
I reached for his hand, worried about him. He’d been acting odd for the last few days, but I’d been so busy with the girls and preparing for our big family dinner that I hadn’t had time to stop and wonder what was going on with him. Guilt churned in my gut as concern filled my heart. “Everything okay?”
“I’m good.”
“Dray…” I had the oddest feeling he was lying to me and I didn’t understand why.
“Sissy!” Bliss squealed, drawing my eye to the stage and everyone else’s to her as they laughed.
Arella danced around the Indians and Pilgrims, gobbling to Bliss’s delight. I could just imagine the irritation on Karnack’s face because my child was going off script. Again. I could only laugh, because Arella was making this boring-ass play so much more enjoyable.
The toddler clapped her hands excitedly, squealing when Arella stopped and looked in her baby sister’s direction and blew her loud, wet kisses. Tears filled my eyes, but not surprisingly. No matter how many times I saw my kids do little things like this at school or for their afterschool activities, I would always cry. My love and pride in them was just too strong to be contained.
Drake shifted Bliss in his arms and draped one over my shoulders. I felt his lips at my ear, making my body instantly come to life and I couldn’t control my shiver. “She’s so beautiful,” he muttered. “And so full of herself.”
I laughed. “True, but then again she’s more you than me,” I whispered back.
“Ha-ha-ha,” he said with a deep laugh that sent little thrills of pleasure through my entire body. “You’re funny.”
“I try,” I said with a wink. I heard his sharp inhale, saw the way his eyes dilated with hunger. Quickly, I turned my attention back to the stage before I jumped my husband’s delicious bones in the middle of the first Thanksgiving dinner.
Chapter Two
Lana
My hands were elbow deep in the backend of a turkey when the doorbell rang.
It was my year to host our big Thanksgiving dinner and I normally enjoyed every second of playing hostess and feeding all the people I loved. This year, I was running on three hours of sleep because I’d started prepping the minute we’d gotten home from the play. I probably wouldn’t have gotten that much if Heavenleigh hadn’t had a bad dream and I’d gone up to comfort her and fallen asleep in the small toddler bed with her.
Coffee and Aleve were my friends this morning because my whole body was stiff from that small-ass bed and my acrobatic daughter using me as a jungle gym in her sleep.
“I got it,” Drake called out as I heard him coming down the stairs. Seconds later I heard his huff. “It’s your dad. Do I have to let him in?”
I rolled my eyes at his dry voice, knowing he was only playing. Drake and my father were friends and I liked that they got along so well. After so many years without Cole Steel in my life—of hating him and wanting nothing to do with him—it was actually nice to have him there for every important event in my life now.
“Pop-Pop!” Arella and Nevaeh cried out seconds later when I heard Cole’s gravel-rough voice greet them.
“There’s my little turkey,” Cole laughed. “Why aren’t you in the oven? Huh? I like my turkey extra crispy.”
“You’re crazy sometimes, Pop-Pop,” Arella told her grandfather with a giggle.
I heard their footsteps and seconds later my oldest girls were pulling my father into the kitchen. Cole was dressed in his usual jeans but he’d gone all out and put on a button-down over his usual faded T-shirt. With his long hair pulled up into a man bun, it was hard to believe that this still good-looking rocker was anyone’s grandfather. His honey brown eyes were glowing with amusement as he stepped around the island to kiss my cheek.
“Happy Thanksgiving, darlin’.”
I pulled my hand out of the turkey’s backside and turned around to wash my hands. “You’re here early.”
He shrugged, leaning back against the sink beside me. “I missed you and my grandbabies.”
My heart twisted a little at the admission. He’d been out of the country doing a little promotion for his band’s farewell tour and supposedly last album together. Of course it was Steel Entrapment’s second farewell tour, so I wasn’t convinced there wouldn’t be a third one. It was hard for Cole to give up his music and every ten years or so he got bored and called his bandmates up to do another tour.
“I’m glad you’re here,” I told him as I hugged him tight. Stepping back, I grinned up at him. “You can help me cook.”
“That’s women’s work,” Cole grumbled.
“You didn’t just say that, Pop-Pop,” Nevaeh scolded him from the seat she’d taken on the other side of the island. “That’s such a guy thing to say. Don’t be a pig.”
Cole threw his head back and roared with laughter as pride for my oldest burned through my chest. “You’re right, darlin’. How about you show me how to peel a potato and we both help your mom out?”
“I wanna help too,” Arella whined. “Mommy, can I peel something too?”
I set the three of them up peeling potatoes then went to check on Drake since he hadn’t joined us. The television was on in the living room, turned to the parade the girls had been watching earlier, but the room was empty. Frowning, I climbed the stairs. I could hear Heavenleigh in her room talking to her stuffed animals
while she had a tea party. I peeked in on her and saw she was happy but alone except for her favorite dolls, and she didn’t even notice me.
Taking my hair down from the knot I’d thrown it in while I’d been dealing with the turkey, I walked down the hall to the nursery when I heard Bliss giggle. The door was open and I could see Drake’s big body lying on his stomach on the floor. There was a book lying in front of him that he was reading softly to the twenty-two-month-old baby who was on his back, her hands tangled in his long hair as she listened intently.
I stood there, just watching them, loving how much Bliss enjoyed having a little one-on-one time with her father. Drake was such an amazing father and he proved to me every day that me and the girls were the most important people in his life. It was little things like this, him reading his daughter her favorite book and using the funny voices for each character, that made me fall hard for him all over again.
When the story was done, he closed the book. Bliss rolled off him and gave him a big wet kiss on the cheek before crawling over to the nest of toys she created every morning. Turning onto his back, he watched her for a few minutes, a smile on his lips, and I soaked in the sight.
He must have felt my eyes on him because he turned his head and the smile slowly disappeared. Something dark flashed through his blue-gray eyes, but he quickly masked it before I could figure out what was going through his head. Getting to his feet, he crossed to me and bent to kiss my lips.
“Mm, you smell like sage,” he said with a playful growl and buried his face in my neck, sniffing hard. I squealed and tried to pull away. I knew he was trying to distract me, that he didn’t want me to ask him what was wrong, and of course it was working. His hands caught my hips, pulling me against him as he tickled me with his nose.
“Drake,” I laughed. “Stop. Please. That tickles.” I felt his lips and the tickles turned into sensual caresses with his mouth and tongue. “Drake,” I said, his name leaving me on a breathless sigh.