Fuck me.
Please.
Just fuck me right here.
A woman’s voice startled us. “Excuse me! You’re not allowed in here. You need to leave right now.”
Shit.
Damien moved away from me and blinked a few times, seeming to come out of the trance-like state he’d been in.
“I’m sorry.”
That was all he said before exiting the ladies’ room.
And that was that.
Five minutes later, I rejoined them over at the bar. Damien was back to his angry, guarded self. It was as if the bathroom incident hadn’t happened. Everything was back to normal—until a knock on my apartment door later that night.
It wasn’t whom I might have expected.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
SO FUCKED
The view through my peephole revealed a distorted version of Tyler.
What was he doing here in the middle of the night?
My stomach was in knots. The guys had left me at my door a half-hour ago. I’d changed into my pajamas and washed off my make up. He knew I was in here, so it wasn’t like I could pretend I wasn’t home. Sucking a deep breath in, I opened the door.
“Tyler. What are you doing here?”
“Can I come in?”
“Um…sure.”
As he brushed by me, he said, “Damien just jumped in the shower, so I figured it was safe to knock on your door without him hearing me. He fucking hears everything.”
“Yeah,” I chuckled nervously. “Supersonic hearing.”
“For real.”
His eyes landed on the large hickey at the base of my neck. “Jesus Christ. Is that what I think it is?”
There was no sense in denying it. “Yes.”
Damien’s sucking on my neck in the club bathroom had left a humongous bruise.
His eyes widened. “Did Damien do that to you?”
“Yes.”
“How did I miss that?”
“Well, it was dark. You couldn’t really see until now.”
“No, I mean, how did it happen?”
“You don’t know how it happened?”
He laughed. “Okay, wiseass…when did it happen?” He shut his eyes and then snapped his fingers when he seemed to realize the answer. “The bathroom. You went, and he followed. I feel like a dumbass now.”
“What brings you by, Tyler?”
“This is the first opportunity I’ve had to get you alone tonight.”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I said, “It’s late.”
“I know.”
Ty’s demeanor seemed more serious compared to earlier tonight and markedly less flirtatious.
Not knowing what to say, I asked, “Can I get you some water or something?”
“No. I’m good.”
“Okay.”
He walked into the living room. “Can I sit?”
“Sure.”
Making himself comfortable on the couch, he asked, “Why are you really leaving?” When I didn’t immediately answer, he said, “Maybe I should rephrase that. You’re moving because of Damien, correct?”
I hesitated then said, “Yes.”
He nodded in silence. What he said next floored me.
“I’ve never betrayed my brother’s trust, but I’m about to for his own good.”
“What are you—”
“My brother is in love with you.”
My heart started to beat faster as I processed his words.
Did he really just say what I think he said?
I shook my head. “No, he’s not.”
“He is.”
“Why would you say that? He doesn’t even want to date me.”
He leaned his arms into his legs as he looked up at me. “He’s crazy about you. I’ve known about it for a while, but I really saw it with my own eyes tonight.”
My heart continued to pound, wanting so badly for him to be right. “If you really believe that, then why were you, you know…”
He lifted his brow. “Flirting like hell with you all night?”
“Yes.”
“It was an act. I was trying to prove a point. Don’t get me wrong. You’re a beautiful girl. But I would never go after someone my brother has true feelings for. Never. Deep down, he knows that, too.”
“Why did he seem so threatened by you, then?”
“He knew what I was up to. What upset him was that he was afraid you might actually like me and that he’d have to witness it.”
Wracking my brain to make sense of this conversation, I needed him to back up. “You said you were trying to prove a point. I’m sorry, but I don’t get it. Can you please explain?”
“I was trying to show him that he’s not actually able to handle letting you go. He’s been trying to push you away. That’s not what he really wants.”
“Why?” I cried out. “Why is he trying to push me away?”
“Damien thinks you’d be better off without him.”
“I don’t understand.”
Tyler paused and looked up at the ceiling for a while in an attempt to gather his thoughts. “There’s something you don’t know, Chelsea. But I can’t be the one to tell you. It’s not my place. He needs to explain it to you. All I can say is that it’s nothing to be afraid of, and it’s nothing that would make you see him in a negative light. You would not be putting yourself in any kind of danger in being with him. It’s nothing like that. He just truly feels that he can’t get involved with you, even though that pains him.”
The wheels were turning in my head. What could it possibly be?
“I’m confused.”
“I know. There is still a lot that is unknown, even to us. But please be patient with him. He’ll tell you when he’s ready. I know he will. Don’t give up on him. Wait for him if you can. That is…if you really want to be with him.”
“I have wanted to be with him from almost the very beginning—from the night of the toaster oven fire. I felt a connection stronger than anything I’d ever felt before.”
Ty’s mouth curved into a smile. “That was the night he set you up on that dating site, right?”
“Yes. He told you about that?”
“I’m so gonna go to hell for this.”
“What?”
He took his phone out. “I’m gonna show you a text he sent me that night. Give me a minute because I have to go through my messages. At the time, I remember thinking it was funny as hell and so unlike him to be saying the shit he was. Let me find it.”
As Ty scrolled through his phone, my heart was palpitating. This felt like an invasion of Damien’s privacy, but Lord knows I wasn’t a newbie in that arena. I was dying to know what he’d said about me.
“Okay.” He faced the screen toward me. “Here. Look.”
I took the phone from him and read their exchange.
Damien: I’m so fucked.
Ty: What’s up?
Damien: I’m SO fucked.
Ty: What the hell is going on?
Damien: The blonde I told you about next door.
Ty: You sleep with her?
Damien: No.
Ty: What happened?
Damien: SO fucked.
Ty: Bad? Or good?
Damien: SO fucked.
Ty: Yeah, I got that.
Damien: She almost burned down the building.
Ty: WTF?
Damien: Toaster fire. I put it out. Everything’s fine. She came over after.
Ty: And now there’s a fire in your pants? LMAO.
Damien: Basically. Yeah. She’s gorgeous. But it’s not just that. She’s amazing. Sweet as hell. Honest. No bullshit. What you see is what you get.
Ty: So this is good!
Damien: No. I can’t mess around with her.
Ty: Why not?
Damien: She’s a good girl, already had her heart broken once by some asswipe.
Ty: Why can’t you date her?
Damien: How many times have we talked about this?
&n
bsp; Ty: It’s bullshit.
Damien: I set her up on a dating site.
Ty: That’s fucked up. You’re crazy about her and you set her up to date other men?
Damien: I had to do something. She scares the shit out of me.
Ty: I’ve never heard you say that before.
Damien: You probably never will again.
Ty: Well, damn.
That was the end of the exchange.
My hand was shaking as I held his phone. While I felt a little guilty for prying into his personal messages, my heart felt like it was going to burst. It overwhelmed me to know that Damien had experienced all the same things I’d felt that night. Our chemistry had been off the charts. That confirmed it wasn’t my imagination. Even though he’d left me feeling so rejected at the time, there was apparently more to it than simple disinterest.
Ty took the phone from me. “You never saw that, okay? And we never had this conversation, either. It’s just…when I found out you were moving, I knew I really needed to say something to you. I love my brother more than anything. I don’t like going behind his back like this, but ultimately, I feel it’s for his own good.”
“What do you suggest I do?”
“I think you should continue with your plans. If I know Damien, he’ll come to realize the mistake he’s made some time after you’re gone. Just continue to be his friend. I can’t guarantee he’ll come to his senses, but I suspect it will really hit him once you’re not around anymore.”
“I can’t say I necessarily agree that he’ll come around if he hasn’t already, but I won’t stop being his friend. Ever. I never planned to. Living practically on top of each other, though, is just too much for me under the circumstances. So, that’s why I’m moving.”
“I get that. You know, even though we’re a lot alike…deep down, Damien is more like our mother—complex and emotional, like how he expresses himself through his art. Those images. What do they even all mean, you know? I guarantee you there is meaning to each and every one of them. I’m more like our dad was, laid back and easier to read.” He looked down to check the time on his phone. “I’d better go before he hears me. Remember, this visit never happened.”
“What visit?” I joked.
It was difficult to get to sleep after Tyler left. Even though his revelation filled me with newfound hope, it wasn’t enough to totally convince me that things with Damien would ever change.
I had no choice but to trust Ty’s word that whatever was going on with Damien was nothing to be afraid of and to trust that fate would work things out.
***
The two weeks flew by, and before I knew it, I found myself sitting in my emptied out apartment, looking at dozens of boxes and once again second-guessing my decision to leave.
My parents were scheduled to be here in the morning, and the plan was still for Damien to help us move. Even though Tyler also offered, Damien had told him not to bother, that he wanted to handle it himself.
It was Saturday night, and I wasn’t sure what Damien was up to. The dogs were with him this weekend, and all I knew was that I wanted to spend my last night here with the three of them.
I picked up my phone and dialed him.
He answered facetiously, “Damien’s Moving Service and Dog Grooming.”
Laughing, I said, “Dog grooming, too, huh?”
“We’re a full service establishment.”
“What other services do you provide?”
God, that sounded suggestive.
“For you? I can negotiate.”
I cleared my throat. “How are the Double Ds?”
“They’re good. I actually just gave them a bath, thus the dog grooming. I swear these dogs have the cleanest asses on the face of the Earth.”
“I have no doubt.”
“How are you?”
“I’m okay…kind of sad, looking around at all of these boxes. The place is so empty, I can hear an echo.”
“You should shout out a bunch of obscenities. I bet that would feel good. Just don’t gear them toward me.”
“My landlord doesn’t like it when I disturb the peace.”
“I don’t think he’d care today. He’s a little down that he’s losing his favorite tenant.”
“Well, he’s raising the rent on me. I have to leave.”
“He fucking wishes that were the reason you were leaving.”
Several seconds of awkward silence ensued before I spoke up again.
“You think the landlord would want to hang out with me on my last night? Unless you have other plans?”
“If I did, I’d break them.”
That gave me butterflies.
“Okay. That’s a good thing, because everything is packed away, so if you didn’t take me in, I’d just be starving and staring at the wall.”
“Ironic. Isn’t that how our friendship started? Because of a wall?”
“Yes, sort of. Technically, it started with you eavesdropping on me.”
“You’re right. It did.”
“Oh, you’re admitting to that now?”
“It was accidental eavesdropping, maybe. I sure as hell learned a lot about you really fast.”
“Tell me again what you learned?”
“That you were a lot more than the bitchy dog complainer next door. I figured out that you were a sensitive, caring person who’d had her heart broken, a person who loves and trusts with her whole heart…a person who needs to be handled with care, even though you’d deny that. Basically, I knew you were amazing long before we ever became friends.”
I closed my eyes to stop myself from crying. Taking a deep breath, I let his words sink in.
This was really happening. I was really moving.
“Well…friend…how about you make me a pizza tonight. I’ll bring a movie. Should I come by around six?”
“Alright. We’ll be waiting.”
With a heavy heart, I killed some time cleaning the empty living space before it was time to head to Damien’s. The Lysol smell was giving me a headache.
When six o’clock finally rolled around, I grabbed a bottle of wine and the DVD and headed over to his apartment.
Damien opened the door, and a waft of marinara sauce greeted me, along with the scent of his cologne. I concluded that those two smells were basically like home to me. This was home—not the empty apartment next door but right here with him and these dogs.
Dudley and Drewfus immediately ran to me. Poor Drewfus still had a limp.
“You guys are so clean and soft! Your daddy takes really good care of you.”
“I’m not saying anything to them about you know what,” Damien said. “I swear they can understand English. They’d probably freak out.”
It made me sad that the dogs would soon realize I wasn’t right next door anymore. Out of everything, thinking about their reaction made me feel the most guilty.
“I think that’s better, even though they’ll figure it out soon enough.”
“I’ll deal with it when I have to.”
Handing him the DVD, I smirked. “I brought a movie.”
He examined the case. “The Omen. I should have known you’d get me back at some point.”
“It’s only fair. You made me watch my autobiography, so tonight we get to watch yours.”
He rolled his eyes. “Can’t wait.” Walking over to the counter, he said, “Pizza’s ready. You want mushroom and olive or pepperoni?”
“I’ll take both, one of each.”
He flashed me a mischievous smile. “One of each, huh? Going back to your ménage roots?”
“I’ll never live that down, will I? Why does being here tonight seem like déjà vu? You making pizza…and teasing me about wanting to be double teamed?”
He rolled the pizza cutter over the pie. “So, pervy girl, why did you tell your parents you’re moving?”
“I haven’t said anything about you if that’s what you’re wondering. I just told them I found a better apartment.”
&nbs
p; “But it’s not a better apartment.”
My eyes widened. “You’ve seen it?”
“Yeah. I went to check it out, make sure it was safe over there.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“How are you gonna explain to them why you’re moving to a crappier place?”
“They’re not going to question it. I’ll just tell them I have my reasons.”
“Right before your dad looks me in the eye, sees through this, and kicks my ass,” he said before placing my two slices of pizza in front of me.
“It’ll be fine. My parents are really nice. You’ll like them.” I took a bite then asked, “Do you have people coming to look at my apartment?”
“Not yet. I’m gonna throw a fresh coat of paint on the walls after you leave and air out all the Chelsea cooties before I list it.” He winked.
“Very funny. Well, whoever it is, they’ll be lucky to be living here. You really do make this a nice, clean and safe environment.”
“Right. Great place…just don’t get emotionally involved with the landlord and everything is cool, right?” When I remained silent, he said, “I’m sorry. Enough about the move.”
I changed the subject. “How is your mother?”
“She’s good, actually. I’m picking her up next weekend to spend the day here. The dogs will be with Jenna, so that will work out. Ty and I will take her out for lunch.”
“Oh, good. I’m glad to hear that.” I’d always wondered what Damien’s mother was like. “Do you have a picture of her?”
“My mom?”
“Yes. I would love to know what she looks like.”
“Yeah. I do. Hang on.”
Damien pulled out his phone and began flipping through the camera roll. He smiled then turned it toward me. “This was last summer.”
Damien’s mother was standing between her two sons in front of a massive water fountain. She had shoulder-length, chestnut brown hair, and aside from some wrinkles around her eyes, looked quite young. I could see a lot of Damien in her.