Read Neighbors - The Lawyer and the Pig Farmer Page 3


  ~ Curtain ~

  ACT 1, SCENE 3

  It is early Saturday morning, the day of Duke Desantos's meeting. There is grey or subdued daylight. The kitchen area is bright and Gretchen and Dina, dressed in robes and pajamas are making coffee.

  Dina: “I slept well. Your guest room is very comfortable. And the wine helped, a little.”

  Gretchen: “I would have slept better, but when we walked into the study last night, I thought I heard Duke say something about keeping a secret from our neighbors. It was probably not important, but it still bothered me. I wondered all night about what he is planning.”

  Dina: “Nothing stays secret for long. (Thoughtfully) Making guesses based on rumors doesn't help. I hear rumors often, but they become so warped and twisted that they become meaningless.”

  Lisa: Dressed in sleepwear, sneaks in from the garage entrance. “Good morning, Mom and Aunt Dina.”

  The two women greet Lisa pleasantly.

  Gretchen: (To Lisa) “What are you doing up so early?”

  Lisa: “I came to see the fawn. The doe knows I was watching through the window, and she doesn't run away. She was there all night, but I didn't turn on a light.”

  Gretchen: “When was that? “

  Lisa: “I'm not sure, but Dad and Uncle Fred were drinking wine and talking about a gas line, or something, at the Solomon's.”

  Gretchen: “You were supposed to be in your room.”

  Lisa: “I was. I did my homework, and you need to sign it for me. But then, I came back downstairs to look out the garage window. You should see the fawn! He's so cute! Greg says there's a crowd of deer on our neighbor's property at night, close to our road. He says that's their home. But I think the fawn's mother feels safer near our house.”

  Dina: “You said your father and uncle were talking about a gas line?”

  Lisa: “Yes. I was trying not to let them see me. I was afraid they would make me to go back to bed.”

  Gretchen: “You shouldn't be tip-toeing around here listening to adult conversations.”

  Lisa: “I wasn't trying to hear anything. I'm not a spy!”

  Gretchen: Putting aside her objection, “Of course, you're not a spy. But, -er-, what did you hear about a gas line?”

  Lisa: “Nothing, except there's going to be one.”

  Gretchen: Trying not to show interest, “Oh.”

  At this moment Duke and Fred enter from the stairway dressed in warm-up clothes.

  Duke: “Good Morning! Everyone. That coffee smells good. We will have ours after we do some jogging. I'm not going to eat anything until our company arrives. Fred, are you ready to jog?”

  Fred: “Certainly.”

  Lisa: “Please go out the front door, Dad. I don't want you to wake up the deer.”

  Duke: “I told you what I think of deer. They're big rats. Fred, don't you think I should get one of those semi-automatic rifles and join the NRA and become a hunter?”

  Lisa: “You wouldn't hurt our deer Dad. You're just kidding, right?”

  Fred: “He's kidding, Lisa. Your Dad doesn't know a hunting rifle from a … er … from an Uzi.”

  Lisa: “What's an Uzi?”

  Duke: Looking perturbed, “I really do, Lisa. But I'll explain it later.

  He and Fred exit by the front door.

  Greg: Entering and calling from the garage, “The deer are still sleeping. I wish Honey were here to see them. I think I'll call her and ask her to come over.”

  Gretchen: “Don't even think about it! It's only 7:15, and not everyone in the world is awake this early! Besides, she may visit with her parents later this morning.”

  Dina: “But they’re farmers and probably get up early.”

  Gretchen: “You're no help at all, sister. But we have a rule. No telephones or texting between 9:00 pm and 9:00 am. It's a simple rule. Easy to follow.”

  At this point the women could be setting up in the kitchen garden for the meeting, and the next scene could be in the garden as well as in the kitchen with the windowed doors wide open.

  The children go back upstairs to dress, and the sisters start putting out trays and unwrapping breakfast delicacies. Gretchen takes out a large coffee urn.

  Gretchen: “I wonder how much coffee we’ll need?”

  Dina: “I wonder how many Bloody Marys we’ll need?”

  Gretchen: “A lot, depending on how long Duke talks.”

  Dina: “Do you think he's really going to 'baffle them with bullshit', like he always says?”

  Gretchen: “Only if you believe the science of being green is bullshit.”

  Dina: “I'm afraid I don't know enough to say what's true and what is not.”

  Gretchen: “Duke doesn't think the greenies know either. He’ll use what the greenies think and raise a fuss about it, though he doesn't believe in their science.”

  Dina: “He says a lot of things he doesn't believe. He has the makings of a fine politician.”

  Gretchen: “You're right. And I see that in our future.” They finish setting up for the meeting.

  “I think we've done all we can do for now. Dina, notice how smooth this floor is. It's 'high-heel' safe.”

  Dina: “Which tells me that you’re going to dress up for the company, at least for one of them.”

  Gretchen: “Why not? You can dress up, too. This woodsy suburb-of-a-suburb could use a little glamour.”

  They exit via the stairway. Duke and Fred walk in the front door breathing heavily.

  Fred: “You sure have a lot of, er, a lot of, 'acreage' out here. You can hardly see your neighbors. I don't think I could talk Dina into living this far out in the country. She thinks she would be lonely here.”

  Duke: “And we have gas, plenty of gas, on our twenty acres. Someday I'm going to have a gas well in my front yard, a windmill in my backyard, and a big, black Hummer in my garage, just to piss people off!”

  Fred: “After you quit representing 'green' causes?”

  Duke: “Of course!”

  Fred: “But how long do you think the greenies will keep agitating? Most of them are students and young college professors who have never been in the work force. In a few years they’ll stop whining, grow up, and change their minds about what needs to be done. And you’ll have to find a new cause, or new, younger greenies.”

  Duke: “No! But whatever the cause, I'll be there. Hey! It's getting late. We have to get dressed for our meeting!”

  They exit to the stairway also.