Read Nelson Branco's SOAP OPERA UNCENSORED: Issue 47 Page 5
Kanan infused much nostalgia when he returned to the show — not once, but twice!
Losers: Winsor Harmon and Hunter Tylo still have no storyline.
Winner: The highly entertaining Don Diamont and Heather Tom are the best couple on this show! And Tom won her fourth Emmy Award this past June; her first as Outstanding Lead Actress.
Loser: Scott Clifton’s once riveting character has been reduced to a passive-aggressive romantic patsy. Thank God for the fast-forward button!
Winner: Katherine Kelly Lang, who re-signed with the campy soap, will officially become B&B’s sole biggest star now that Susan Flannery and Moss are out.
Loser: Susan Flannery has opted to leave the series — reportedly because she feels the show is all about the young adult storyline. She probably also realizes she’s no longer the B&B Lead Actress Emmy fave with Tom taking home the gold this summer.
Winner: Recurring actor Jon Hensley is moving to the front burner reportedly as Brooke’s new love interest.
Loser: Texas Battle still can’t act.
Winner: B&B proved once again it’s the King of Location Shoots after its Italian sojourn. There, the soap also produced a big-budget, glam wedding reminiscent of the glory days.
Loser: The wedding involved the tortuous Liam, Hope and Steffy.
DAYS OF OUR LIVES — Reboot 9.0: Once More, With Feeling!
It wouldn’t be a season of DAYS without a reboot. Here we go again, kids!
Winner: Eileen Davidson may have lost her job on Y&R but she landed back on her high heels in arguably her most popular role ever as Kristen — and possibly Susan – on the NBC serial. Fans are positively giddy over the comeback.
Loser: Kristian Alfonso lost her leading man Peter Reckell when he decided to leave the series. Who will Hope romance next? And does anyone care?
Winner: Fan and critical fave Chandler Massey won his first Emmy Award as Outstanding Younger Actor!
Loser: Viewers lost the explosively sexy and scandalous EJill pairing in favour of the yawn-fest known as Wilson.
Winner: Thanks to Gary Tomlin, Galen Gering is now on every show.
Loser: Thanks to Gary Tomlin, viewers must now endure RAFE OF OUR LIVES.
Winner: Lorraine Broderick is back writing soaps!
Loser: Missy Reeves angered many when she supported Chick-Fil-A Day on Twitter.
Winner: Greg Vaughan was cast as nuEric Brady.
Loser: Eric Brady is now a priest!
Winner: DAYS increased in the ratings before — and after — the successful and surprisingly riveting explosion stunt to accommodate the show’s hiatus during the Summer Olympics.
Loser: Matthew Ashford and Sarah Brown were cast casualties. Uh-gain.
Winner: The production team of DAYS proved it can play with the big boys when it comes to special effects and big action.
Loser: Us because Camila Banus’s Gabi didn’t die.
Winner: Gabi because she turned a gay bottom, Will, into a straight top for one night.
Loser: DAYS for ruining arguably the best coming-out storyline involving a homosexual male by relying on the infuriating and often unrealistic clichéd plot device of having a gay character sleep with someone of the opposite sex. Oh, Sonny for being gay bashed the same day after kissing Will. The gay community wasn’t impressed. Nor were the viewers.
Winner: James Scott and Chandler Massey for providing horny viewers with many a sinful fantasy during their must-watch scenes together. Yep, you guys got us off, too!
Loser: Brady continues to be a loser in love.
Winner: Nadia Bjorlin finally agreed to return as Chloe.
Loser: We won’t see her until 2015!
Winner: Judi Evans and Wally Kurth are working again!
Loser: Shawn Christian is still stuck in one stupid-ass storyline. He also has been re-paired with Missy Reeves.
GENERAL HOSPITAL — A New Time, A New Attitude
The embattled soap is finally increasing in the ratings thanks to a timeslot change — and a few casting surprises!
Winner: For the first time in forever, GH increased in the ratings — during a timeslot change to boot! Chew on that, KATIE.
Loser: KATIE is losing GH’s great lead-in audience because her show sucks ass.
Winner: Finola Hughes continues to steal the show with her epic beauty, fab hair and incomparable talent.
Loser: Anna has to fall in love with a reformed rapist in the process.
Winner: Kirsten Storms returned to reclaim what is rightfully hers — and all is right with the world. Welcome back, Maxinista!
Loser: ABC misled Jen Lilley into thinking she owned the role when the soap had every intention of bringing back Storms.
Winner: Spixie fans, duh!
Loser: For once, Liason and JaSam fans are in the same boat: both passionate and rabid fan bases will be losing their beloved Steve Burton. Maybe the warring fan bases can mourn together. Nah, the Israelis and Palestinians will make peace first before that happens!
Winner: Kelly Monaco joined the all-star season of DANCING WITH THE STARS, which will hopefully help promote GH in a bigger arena!
Loser: Kelly Monaco because GH isn’t cutting back her story while she rehearses to reclaim her DWTS trophy.
Winner: Jane Elliot and Robin Mattson proved vets can still drive story on this ageist show.
Loser: Jackie Zeman is still missing in action.
Winner: Maurice Benard because Sonny is more balanced and well written.
Loser: Sonny has to pretend to love that whacko Kate (and Connie).
Winner: Ingo Rademacher and Ian Buchanan returned to the show hotter than ever!
Loser: Scott Reeves after defending his wife Missy Reeves when she tweeted her homophobic support of Chick-Fil-A. And viewers for dealing with the needless torture that is Steven Lars.
Winner: Our eyes. Frank Valentini has greatly improved the bad lighting on this show.
Loser: Our ears. Stop screaming, people!
Winner: Viewers were treated to a fast, modern and new opening credit sequence.
Loser: The Port Chuck water supply.
Winner: Roger Howarth’s outrageously sexy and hairy chest if often on display.
Loser: Nathin Butler’s abs are no more.
Winner: The press who do not have to write Giovinazzo anymore.
Loser: Where the fuck is Vanessa Marcil?
Winner: Ron Carlivati and Frank Valentini for actively promoting their show on Twitter, somehow managing to still surprise the audience with their teases, and interacting with insane GH fans on Twitter.
Loser: The insane GH viewers who bombard and bully the showrunners with their story demands on Twitter.
Winner: Jonathan Jackson, Tony Geary for winning umpteenth Emmys this past June.
Loser: Nancy Lee Grahn for not showing up to collect her second Emmy Award.
Winner: ABC soap fans for staying true to their word that they would not watch any daytime programming unless it’s a soap opera.
Loser: THE REVOLUTION and GOOD AFTERNOON AMERICA
Winner: Tony Geary’s plastic surgeon! The superstar has never looked better — or refreshed and younger!
Loser: Lauri Hogan, the despised and lazy ONE LIFE publicist, being hired on as GH’s PR director.
Winner: John Ingle’s triumphant, bittersweet comeback. His enveloping performance was truly memorable.
Loser: Carolyn Hennesy. Apparently, Port Chuck isn’t big enough for Diane and Alexis.
Winner: Brandon Barash is sex on two legs.
Loser: The Sully storyline is a dud.
THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS — A New Era Begins!
Will Bill Bell finally stop rolling over in his grave? You betcha!
Winner: Restless viewers are rejoicing after Sony/CBS fired Maria Arena Bell!
Loser: Maria Arena Bell’s ego.
Winner: In the end, Josh Griffith won the war in his epic battle with Maria Arena Bell when Sony re-hired him as the show’s top scribe. <
br /> Loser: Genie Francis.
Winner: GH will more than likely absorb Francis and Tristan Rogers.
Loser: HOLLYWOOD HEIGHTS will live on in Genoa City with various additions.
Winner: Marco Dapper became a breakout star as Carmine.
Loser: Dapper will more than likely be fired because his co-star Marcy Rylan has been let go.
Winner: Christel Khalil finally took home Emmy gold this past June as Outstanding Younger Actress
Loser: Her contract demands may have cost her her job.
Winner: Pilots who work near CBS Studios.
Loser: Debbi Morgan’s wigs.
Winner: Kristoff St. John will no longer be punished for speaking out against Maria Arena Bell but will be embraced for it with story and airtime.
Loser: Eric “It’s The End Of [My] Era” Braeden is fucked.
Winner: Jill Farren Phelps can now redeem herself as a soap killer as the show’s exec producer.
Loser: The cast of Y&R.
Winner: Jimmy’s bar got more airtime than most vets this summer in various disguises.
Loser: Villy fans will have to mourn when Billy Miller departs the show.
Winner: Sharon Case for turning shit into gold as Sharon Newman took over Newman Enterprises with one expertly-crafted campy performance.
Loser: Sharon Case having to pretend she was attracted to Eric Braeden.
Winner: A healthy Ted Shackelford is back and better than ever.
Loser: A reformed Adam Newman for having to deal with those two twits Chloe and Kevin.
Winner: Y&R’s Hair Queen George Guzman and his team for taking home the show’s first Emmy win for Outstanding Hair.