Copyright © 2016 Monica Murphy
Cover photographs © Marcos Appelt/Arcangel (couple),
Maciej Bledowski/Shutterstock (Ferris wheel).
Cover design © www.isitdesign.co.uk
The right of Monica Murphy to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
Published by arrangement with Bantam Books,
an imprint of Random House, a division of Random House LLC,
A Penguin Random House Company
First published in this Ebook edition in 2016
by HEADLINE ETERNAL
An imprint of HEADLINE PUBLISHING GROUP
Apart from any use permitted under UK copyright law, this publication may only be reproduced, stored, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means, with prior permission in writing of the publishers or, in the case of reprographic production, in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency.
All characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Cataloguing in Publication Data is available from the British Library
eISBN 978 1 4722 3721 7
HEADLINE PUBLISHING GROUP
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Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
About the Author
Praise for Monica Murphy
Also by Monica Murphy
About the Book
Epigraph
Author’s Note
Ethan
Ethan
Will
Katherine
Ethan
Katherine
Ethan
Katherine
Ethan
Katherine
Katherine
Ethan
Katherine
Ethan
Katherine
Will
Ethan
Katherine
Ethan
Katherine
Ethan
Katherine
Katie
Katherine
Ethan
Will
Ethan
Katherine
Ethan
Katherine
Ethan
Katherine
Aaron
Will
Ethan
Katherine
Ethan
Katherine
Ethan
Katie
Aaron
Katie
Katie
Ethan
Katie
Will
Katie
Will
Katie
Aaron
Katie
Will
Katie
Aaron
Will
Aaron
Lisa
Katie
Will
Katie
Aaron
Will
Katie
Will
Katie
Katie
Playlist
His Reverie and Her Destiny
Discover the Fowler Sisters series
Fall in love with the One Week Girlfriend series
Find out more about Headline Eternal
About the Author
Monica Murphy is the New York Times bestselling author of the One Week Girlfriend and the Fowler Sister series. A native Californian, she lives in the foothills below Yosemite with her husband and three children.
For more information, visit her at www.monicamurphyauthor.com,
on Twitter @MsMonicaMurphy,
or on Facebook www.facebook.com/MonicaMurphyauthor.
Just some of the reasons to fall for the emotional love stories of Monica Murphy:
‘Murphy is an incredible talent and continues to show that with each book she writes . . . Readers will be hanging on the edge of their seats wondering what Murphy has in store for this couple. A fantastic book that you simply must read!’ Romantic Times
‘Owning Violet owned me from the first page to the last. Ryder and Violet’s chemistry is off the charts! Read it, own it, love it’ Katy Evans, New York Times bestselling author
‘An emotional and heartbreaking storyline . . . Monica Murphy pulls the reader in and won’t let go’ The Reading Café
‘Monica Murphy succeeds in making a steamy romance between two characters with amazing chemistry and she turns a work of fiction into something so much more. It is a real, tangible, and beautiful thing’ The Life of Fiction
‘I chose this book to be the book. The perfect book that would make the world stop for a few hours and suck me into another universe completely. The perfect book that would make my heart race and stop all at the same time. This book is that book! This book is perfect!’ The Obsessive Reader
‘OH MY, Monica Murphy really does create the best anti-heroes . . . Having both Caden and Ryder in the same book is almost combustible . . . Stealing Rose is a full-steam-ahead, action-packed romance interwoven with finding yourself and your place in the world’ Book Angel Booktopia
‘I am completely and hopelessly in love . . . Stealing Rose made me remember exactly why I fell in love with this author’s writing the very first time’ Holly’s Hot Reads
By Monica Murphy
One Week Girlfriend Series
One Week Girlfriend
Second Chance Boyfriend
Three Broken Promises
Drew + Fable Forever (e-novella)
Four Years Later
The Fowler Sisters Series
Owning Violet
Stealing Rose
Taming Lily
Reverie Series
His Reverie
Her Destiny
Never Series
Never Tear Us Apart
Never Let You Go
About the Book
His secret threatened to tear them apart.
But what they share can’t easily be destroyed. . .
Katie fell hard for Ethan, but when she discovered what he was hiding, the truth threatened to ruin them both for ever. Yet the connection that has always been there between them remains strong – even as they contend with those fighting against them. Not least Ethan’s father. The man nearly destroyed Katie all those years ago and is doing his best to finish the job.
Katie can’t deny she’s in love with Ethan and doesn’t want to let him go. But she can’t stop the doubts creeping in. Is he worth the pain? Will their love survive, or will they have no choice but to end it once and for all?
Don’t miss Monica Murphy’s passionate One Week Girlfriend series, her sexy Fowler Sister trilogy and her breathtaking Reverie series for more emotionally rich, unforgettable romance.
It is better to be hurt by the raw truth rather than to be comfortably deceived.
—Anonymous
Author’s Note
Dear Readers,
I’m assuming you’re reading Never Let You Go because you read Never Tear Us Apart and you want to know what happens next with Ethan (Will) and Katie. Again, I must warn the reader up front that this book deals with difficult subject matter (Katie is a rape victim at the hands of a child serial rapist/killer). The story is dark, there’s no way I can get around that.
But I also feel like this part of Will and Katie’s story is filled with hope. These two are trying to overcome their past and find happiness with each other. Despite the way they met, de
spite everyone telling them they shouldn’t be together, they can’t resist each other. They want to be together. They’re in love. And you can’t get in the way of true love now, can you?
Thank you for reading their story. Thank you for not holding the cliff-hanger ending in NTUA against me. Thank you for understanding that this story needed to be told in two parts. A huge thank-you to my editor and publisher for believing in this story and in my writing.
Again, I’d like to thank Elizabeth Smart, Jaycee Dugard, and Michelle Knight for being brave enough to tell their stories of suffering at the hands of their kidnappers and how they survived. My Katie was lucky—her kidnapper held her captive for only a few days. Jaycee and Michelle were gone for years. That they survived, that they were able to so bravely tell their stories to the world, still blows my mind. They are heroes, women we should never forget.
I also want to mention the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. They work hard to help in the search for missing children and to keep our children safe from harm. For more information, please visit www.missingkids.org.
I cry. I can’t stop. I cry at night before I go to sleep. I cry throughout the day when I should be doing something, anything to remind myself that I’m alive. I should be living.
But instead, I cry for what I’ve lost.
I cry for what I’ve found.
And then . . . one day, there are no more tears. They’ve dried up, like they never existed in the first place.
Gone is the girl I once was. Gone is the woman I was slowly becoming.
Now there’s only this void. And there’s only one person to blame for what I’ve become, what I’ve turned into.
And his name—his real name—is Will Monroe.
She is relentless in her pursuit of me. The constant calls, the texts, the voicemails, the emails. No wonder she’s one of the top investigative journalists on TV.
Lisa Swanson is a serious pain in my ass.
After three weeks of constant harassment, I give in and answer her call. She sounds surprised to hear my voice and I’m pleased that I could shock her. I don’t think much gets past her.
“You answered,” she says.
“It’s either answer or try to ignore you for another three weeks,” I tell her, sounding bored. Inside I’m a wreck. I’ve remained undercover since that moment Lisa texted me and Katie . . .
My heart thuds. Hard. Like it came to a complete and utter stop. How am I still alive? Just thinking about her wrecks me. Twists me up inside until I feel like I’m going to be sick.
When Katie discovered the text from Lisa and left me, I shut down. Physically and emotionally shut down for days. Only within the last week have I once again tried to pick up my normal routine. Working on projects. Talking to clients. I behave normally, move through life as if nothing’s wrong, but inside . . .
Inside I’m hollow. Broken into so many tiny pieces, I don’t think anyone or anything could put me back together. I’ve lost the only thing that matters. The only person I’ve ever really loved.
And she hates me. She should hate me. I can’t excuse my actions.
“Your father’s interview is set to air soon,” Lisa says, her determined voice bringing me back to reality. “I’ve delayed it for as long as possible, but I can’t put it off anymore.”
“Why’d you delay it?” I know the answer. I’m just curious to hear what she has to say.
“Because I wanted to get your side of the story, Will.” I flinch at hearing my name. My old name. I’m not Will any longer. I wish she would stop calling me that. “I’m going to be honest with you.” She pauses.
Honesty. There’s a funny concept I seem to know nothing about. Deception and lies, that’s what defines me. Makes me tick. I pretend. I don’t know how to be my true self. Only with Katie did I feel close to who I really am.
And now she’s gone.
“Your father said some . . . not-so-nice things about you,” Lisa says haltingly.
“Like what?” I sit up straighter, run a hand over my head. I’m still in bed. What’s the point of getting up? I can do everything here, even work. My laptop lies discarded next to me. My iPad is on my bedside table. I’m in my underwear, I haven’t eaten anything yet today, and it’s already past noon. I can’t remember the last time I shaved, looked at myself in the mirror. I’m afraid of what I might see, the truth in my eyes, the deception in my face.
Who said the truth hurts? Because they’re so fucking right.
“Accusatory things,” Lisa says, purposely being vague. Why doesn’t she want to tell me? Oh, probably because she needs something to draw me in and get me to talk. “You won’t like it if he goes on national television and says those things, Will. I promise you, it would be to your benefit to talk to me.”
Leaning my head back, I close my eyes and blow out a harsh breath as Lisa waits for my response. I don’t know what to say, how to reply. Doing a televised interview with her would expose me, when I’ve hidden in the shadows for far too long. Not talking to her might end up with me looking like a savage child rapist in cahoots with my father.
Either way I can’t win. And Lisa knows it. She’s taking a risk, hoping that I’ll choose talking to her as the lesser evil.
I’m not sure if that’s the right thing, though.
“Has she agreed to talk to you?” I ask, my voice tight, my muscles strained. I’m so tense I could shatter.
“Who?” Playing dumb. Lisa’s good at that, too.
“You know who,” I say through gritted teeth.
She sighs. “I told her I found you.”
My heart fucking drops into my toes, swear to God. “What did she say?”
“She didn’t say much at all, which surprised me. I thought she’d be happy to hear the news.” Lisa goes quiet, then clears her throat. “Talk to me, Will. Please. You won’t regret this.”
I will so regret it. And she knows it. She’s just trying to pretend she has my best interests at heart. “I don’t know.”
“Your father’s interview is tentatively scheduled to air ten days from now. If you talk to me, I could get an extension. The execs would love to hear your side. And if I could somehow get Katherine involved again at one point—”
“No.” The word shoots out of me like a bullet, as though I’m defending myself against a direct strike to my heart. I feel like I’m already dead with just the mere suggestion of Katie being involved in this three-ring circus Lisa is trying to organize. My father in one ring, me in the second, and Katie in the third, all of us alone, fighting one another.
Forget it.
“No?” Lisa’s voice is brittle. She doesn’t like being told no.
“She can’t be involved.”
“Why not?” Lisa asks incredulously. “Her perspective is vital. I think she would rush to your defense. She spoke so highly of you before.” Another pause. A judgment. “Unless maybe you’re not telling me the truth . . .”
“Fuck you,” I mutter, refusing to defend myself to her. I couldn’t give a damn what she thinks about me.
But I care about what Katie thinks. She’d hate me for talking to Lisa Swanson. I know it.
So I can’t do it.
“If you talk, she might talk, too. She won’t right now. She refuses to see me. But if I offer the chance for the two of you to speak to each other after all these years . . .” Lisa’s voice drifts, as if she’s dangling a carrot and I’m supposed to jump at that opportunity to speak with Katie.
She can’t know that I’ve already spoken to Katie. Basked in her presence, reveled in the sound of her voice, her laughter, the touch of her hand. The softness of her lips, the scent of her hair, her skin, how she tastes, how she squirms when I touch her in one particular spot. The sound of my name falling from her lips when I make her come . . .
Not my real name, though. An imposter’s name. Ethan is no one. Will is the devil.
Again, which side do I choose? Who am I really?
“I won’t put he
r through that. I’m not interested.” I’m about to end the call when I hear Lisa’s frantic voice. I bring the phone back to my ear.
“You should reconsider. I can put a temporary halt on this, and let you tell your side of the story. But if you choose not to talk to me, I can’t be held responsible for the attack on your reputation that is bound to happen. The interview will air ten days from now, whether you like it or not.”
Haughty Queen Lisa is back to playing hardball. “Let it happen.”
I end the call.
I set my phone on the bedside table.
I close my eyes.
I cut her off. Not because my lawyer advised me to do so—though that was part of the reason. The guy wouldn’t stop badgering me about it, asking every day if I was still talking to her. I lied and said no, having a hell of a time working up the nerve to tell her I didn’t want to talk to her anymore. That was hard. But it had to be done. I cut Katie Watts off because I’m not good enough for her. I don’t deserve to be her friend. I really don’t deserve to be her hero.
Don’t deserve to be in her life at all.
Despite what I did, how I saved her, she doesn’t need the reminder. And that’s all I am to her. The constant reminder that when she was twelve, a fucked-up asshole abducted her, raped her, and kept her chained like an animal in a hot, dirty shed in the middle of summer. I may have rescued her, but that doesn’t matter in the long run. She’s safe. My father is in jail and though the trial isn’t over, I have a feeling I know what the outcome is going to be.
He’s guilty. We all know it. He practically admitted it after he was first caught in Las Vegas, then recanted his outpouring of words and demanded a lawyer. He has charges to face there, too, though if California gets him on the death penalty, I guess those charges will end up being dropped. Hell, I don’t know. I don’t understand the justice system. I’m only seventeen.
I’m still just a kid. A kid with no hope, no ties, no one to help me.
Cutting Katie out of my life may have been best for her, but what about me? What about my needs? Yet again, no one gives a shit. Yet again, I’m left alone. The friends I have aren’t real. I can’t share with them my past, my history. It’s fucked up. I’m fucked up. They all know who my dad is anyway. No one comes right out and says anything, but I know what they’re thinking. What they’re wondering.