THE DARK GREY room had become painfully familiar over the last few days. Each fissure in the wall, every stain descending from the ceiling, I knew them all. I had prepared myself for the cruelest physical pain, but this monotony was almost worse.
I knew how to control myself, to play along. My first two outbursts in this room had earned me a taser gun in the ribs. Both times I woke up back in the cell with Arden staring down at me. After that, I realized their immediate intention was not to kill me, but they weren’t about to set me free either. Every day I asked them questions as I answered theirs, but my queries were never answered. I was no further now than I had been the day I woke up in the doctor’s office. My few belongings were still gone and the little girl’s situation was still unknown. Arden, while a decent companion, proved equally useless, knowing less than I did about the city itself or our whereabouts.
As I stared at the greying walls for what felt like the hundredth time, I could feel my composure slipping.
“Where were you born?” The sandy-haired inquisitor asked me for the hundredth time.
I ground my back teeth together. “I have told you that already.”
“Tell me again.” His piercing eyes bore into mine.
“I was born in The Sanctuary. No, I don’t belong to a Tribe. Yes, I survived on my own. NO, there is no one else I am working with. And NO, I don’t know anything about The Sanctuary. I have no family, as I have said before they’re all dead. AND NO, I have NO idea how the hell I got into this pit you call a city!” My voice rose with each sentence until I was nearly screaming. “I’m not answering any more of your idiotic questions until you answer some of mine!”
I jumped up from my seat and grabbed the edge of the table. With a force that surprised even myself, I jerked the table into the air and then slammed it to the floor. Papers splayed everywhere as the glasses of water exploded on the concrete floor.
The reaction in the room was instantaneous. The inquisitor jumped backwards pressing himself into the wall while Maddox’s hands wound around my neck. I flailed, clawing at his arms as he yanked me off the ground. His grip tightened, making black spots appear in the corners of my vision. I had lost control. I knew that, but I didn’t care. Do it, I thought, go ahead and kill me. It would be better than reliving this same day over and over again.
The door to the tiny room exploded open as the white-haired woman burst in.
“ENOUGH!” She screamed over the chaos.
Instantly we all froze. Maddox’s hands released me and I crumpled to the floor gasping for air.
“Get Veyron to take her to the showers. She smells like a Scavenger.” Disgust was strong on her stern face, “Keep the boy busy, I want to see her in the cell alone.”
With one last look of revulsion in my direction, she swept from the room. How long had she been watching us?
Maddox yanked me to my feet, half carrying, half dragging me down a new hallway. He threw me into a small room covered in bleached tile. There was a shelf piled with clothing in the corner and a showerhead mounted to the wall. He shut the door behind him as he entered and I moved to further myself from him in the small space. Panic rose in my chest. I was trapped.
A hunger rose in his eyes as he gazed at me.
“You heard the boss, you smell like a repulsive rat.” He gestured to the showerhead with his gun.
“She said for you to find another guard to take me here. I assumed Veyron would be a woman.” Ice burned in my voice.
“Veyron has better things to do than babysit a defector like you. Besides, what’s the matter little girl, embarrassed about your body? You know if you can’t do it yourself, I will be forced to do it for you. And I won’t be gentle.” His dark eyes danced with pleasure as he attempted to intimidate me.
Suppressing the shudder running through me, I bit my cheek and began pulling off my shirt. I could have killed him, I wanted to. But the likelihood of my being able to disarm and subdue a man his size was not high. In an open space, where I had the chance to run, maybe. But trapped in this maze of never ending tunnels, I wouldn’t get far. Besides, something in his eyes told me he would enjoy it if I fought back. That he might even lose control and force himself on me in the excitement. So instead of attacking him, I swallowed back the bile and continued to undress.
He leaned back against the wall, tapping his gun as a reminder of the power he held over me. His black eyes filled with lust as they raked over my exposed torso. The last thing I wanted was for this man to see me naked, but I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of knowing I feared him. Going against all of my instincts, I turned my back to him. I tried to pretend he wasn’t there, tried not to feel his eyes on me as I removed the rest of my clothing.
Keeping my back to him I turned on the water and stepped into the stream. It was freezing at first, but to my surprise the water warmed. Normally I would have taken my time—showers being such a rare thing and all—but Maddox’s eyes were searing into my skin. I wanted nothing more than to put my clothes on again. I made sure to soap my stringy hair and wash the stench of captivity off my skin. As soon as the last of the suds slid off my body I snapped off the water and turned to face him. It took all of my strength not to cover my chest as his eyes traced my body.
“Not bad for a runt.” He threw a towel in my face smirking as I covered myself. It was obvious he was aroused by the situation.
Using the towel as a shield I pulled new clothing from the pile and dressed hurriedly. I moved for the door and he clicked his tongue at me.
“Don’t be leaving a mess for someone else to clean up after you. It’s bad enough we have to feed you, we certainly aren’t gonna be your maids too.”
Quickly I gathered my strewn clothing and deposited them in the bin he indicated in the corner.
“See, not so hard, is it.” To my relief he opened the door. This time as he grabbed my arm I couldn’t repress my revulsion and I flinched away.
I instantly regretted it.
His black eyes glinted as he purposefully pulled me closer and began dragging me down the hall again. I swallowed the blood pooling in my mouth. The inside of my cheek was raw where I had chewed through the soft skin to keep from screaming.
I hated this man.
To my surprise the cell wasn’t empty when we arrived. The white-haired woman stood with her hands laced behind her back as we entered. Her gaze flitted from my wet hair to Maddox.
“Leave us.” Her voice was cool and controlled.
“But mam—” Maddox argued.
“I am plenty capable of handling this girl and my guards will be right outside.” Her honey eyes were cold despite their naturally warm tone. I smiled vindictively as he was put in his place.
He nodded once and removed himself with one last longing glance at me.
“You look like her you know.”
I snapped my eyes back to the stern woman.
“I almost didn’t see it at first, but now with your hair long you look like her.”
“Who?” I narrowed my eyes.
“You’re stubborn like her too. Your mother.”
I staggered back a step, as if she had just pulled a weapon on me. “You have no idea who my mother was.”
“On the contrary child, I knew her better than you did. She is the reason I am trapped in this god-forsaken city.” Heat blazed in her eyes. “So forgive me that I don’t trust her offspring either.”
I choked on my words. How could this woman know anything about me, about my family? She had to be lying.
“Funny how things come full circle sometimes.” She tilted her head, appraising me. “It has become apparent to me that you are not going to be cooperative.”
“Why should I be when you have done nothing for me in return?” I spat back.
“We saved your life.”
I scoffed. “For what? To keep me prisoner in this hellhole? To make me suffer by living a longer life in this shitty city? If you wanted to do me a favor you would
have let me die.”
“I had a feeling you might say that.” She stepped aside and I noticed my bag sitting on the cot behind her.
I made a move to grab for it but she blocked me. “We have removed anything that could be deemed a weapon. If you are willing to cooperate then you may keep your belongings.”
Crossing my arms I gauged her. “What about my questions?”
She took a calculated breath before answering me. “Some things will be answered in time, if you uphold your end of the deal, but for now… WEAVER!”
A handsome young man appeared in the doorway. At first I didn’t even see the small body that clung to his side. As soon as he pressed his hand to the panel and it beeped, the tiny frame dislodged herself from his side and ran to me. A host of different emotions tore though my body as I watched the small child crash into my side, shock being the most prevalent. I stood frozen as her tiny arms wrapped around my waist. She buried her face in my shirt before turning her large doe eyes upwards to mine. Tears shimmered on her cheeks, but the look on her face was pure joy.
Hesitantly my arms wrapped around her. She was alive… she was here…
“She refuses to speak to us and has proven nearly as difficult as you. I am hoping that by reuniting you two, you will begin to be a little more cooperative. My name is Arstid. If you decide there is something imperative that you have not yet shared with us, ask for me personally.”
Arstid turned to leave, but paused at the door.
“Jutta only had one child I knew of, so I assume this is not your sister.”
The blow of hearing my mother’s name hit harder than I expected. I nodded.
“Then why did you risk your life for this child?”
I turned my gaze down at the girl in my arms. “I don’t know... I guess… because no one else was going to.”
The truth was I didn’t really know what made me save her. Arstid raised a white eyebrow before turning to leave. The moment she was gone I pulled the child away from me and knelt to her level.
“They haven’t hurt you, have they?”
Tears still glistened on her round cheeks, but she shook her head no. I pulled my sleeve down and wiped her face dry.
“Have they been treating you okay?”
She shrugged and nodded.
“And feeding you?”
She nodded again. I sighed with relief as I gazed at the little stranger who had come so unexpectedly into my life.
“How old are you?”
She held up ten fingers, looking at each of them in turn. My heart felt like it was splintering. She was younger than I had been, younger than any child alone should be in Tartarus. Once abandoned by their Tribes, most kids lived only days, rarely seeing five.
“Don’t you have a family?”
At this her face turned down and her eyes began to fill with tears again. She shook her head. A part of me wanted to hug her, to comfort her, but I couldn’t do it. I wasn’t the nurturing type. I could barely stand myself, much less other people. But something in this little girl softened me.
“What’s your name?”
She swallowed thickly and I noticed for the first time the scar across her throat. It was an old one, healed with time like the one on the back of my head. It ran from the base of her left ear to her collarbone.
“You can’t speak can you?”
She shook her head again. The child was not stubborn, as Arstid had falsely accused. She was a mute. I looked her over carefully. Her nails were chewed down to bloody stumps and her body was small. Too small, like mine was, like a child that knew hunger all too well. She must have been an abandoned orphan, undoubtedly pushed out by a family of Scavengers. It was amazing she had made it this long. The girl began to fidget under my gaze.
“It’s okay, we can figure out your name later.” She smiled a little at this. “I’m Phoenix.”
Her smile widened.
We were interrupted by the beep of the door. The same young man with the food tray came in.
“I see you found your friend.” To my surprise he was talking to the child. She grinned up at him with admiration. I looked at him more carefully now. Could this child see something in him I could not? Maybe his actions had been purely out of kindness and not a threat as I had first thought.
He bent and handed her a piece of bread. She grabbed it and plopped onto my cot enjoying the treat. He offered me the other. I gazed at his hand for a second before taking it.
“Thank you,” I murmured as he smiled warmly at me.
Now that I wasn’t looking for signs of deception in his every movement, I realized he was actually good looking. His sandy hair fell into disarray around his face. The lines of his features were severe, accented by a long nose and squared jaw, but his face was surprisingly gentle. When he smiled, so did his hazel eyes.
I turned away, not wanting to notice anything more about him.
“How did you get stuck with food duty?” I asked, remembering Maddox’s harsh comment about having to feed us.
He shrugged, “I volunteered.”
That was not the response I had been expecting.
“It doesn’t bother you to be so close to prisoners unarmed?” I raised an eyebrow at him, noticing his conspicuous lack of weaponry. Everyone here seemed to be armed, even the stern-faced Arstid had a knife carefully concealed on her thigh. Only someone with trained eyes would have noticed it.
“I choose not to carry a weapon most of the time, besides I don’t believe all of our guests wish me harm.” His eyes softened a little as he looked at me.
I stared at him. The child raised her hands and he handed her a bowl of soup.
“Even the most gentle people have a dark side you know.” I was trying to warn him.
“I know,” he said handing me the other bowl of soup. “It's how you control that darkness that defines you.”
Without another word he left, leaving my mind reeling.
That night I actually laid down in my bed for the first time since I had arrived. Arden had reappeared just before lights out and seemed unsurprised by our new addition. He just raised his eyebrows then shook his head. As the lights went out, a small hand grabbed mine from beneath the cot. I had offered the child my bed, but she just grabbed a blanket and curled up beneath it. I smiled at her natural instinct of preservation. She was sheltered below me and if someone came in the night they would have to go through me to get her. It was something I would do.
As my hand hung over the side of the cot, she sought it out, her tiny fingers wrapping around mine. I couldn’t understand why this child trusted me so much. All of the adults here still looked at me with trepidation, like I might turn on them at any moment. But the child looked at me with confidence, reverence even. No one had ever looked at me that way.
My mind whirled. Just over a week ago I never had to think of anyone but myself. I never questioned my actions or needed anyone else’s help, but now... something was different. I was still too hard, too calloused, but something foreign stirred within me.
I didn’t like it.
How had my world changed so dramatically in such a short period of time? Six years I had managed without needing anyone and now I felt… hollow. Arstid said she knew my mother, that she had followed her here, but that could be a lie. The kind-faced boy had caused me to question not only myself, but to also wonder if some humans were actually capable of kindness. Even as his kind features flickered across my mind, the dark vile eyes of the hulking guard Maddox crossed my thoughts. Reflexively my hands clenched into fists. I envisioned all of the ways I would kill him, if I got the chance. I wanted to watch him suffer for what he had done to me today.
The tiny hand twitched within mine as she fell asleep. The anger boiling to the surface immediately began to ebb as she stirred beneath me.
My life was changing, fast, and I wasn’t entirely sure I could handle it.