IT HAD BEEN three days since Mouse had been brought to me and she followed me wherever I went within my imprisonment. She never left my side. She even slept in the cell with me, fighting vehemently if they tried to remove her. Eventually they conceded and just left her with me on a permanent basis. During my questionings, she sat under the table listening to me repeat the same answers over and over again. I loathed the man questioning me, but I remained calmer now, as to not frighten Mouse. Every night she slept underneath my bed, her hand constantly creeping around the edge to touch my fingers. I always reached back, ensuring her tiny hand I was still here.
Tonight, as her hand disappeared under the frame again, I realized for the first time in my life I felt responsible for someone other than myself.
The thought shook me.
I was awoken in the middle of the night by the sound of metal scraping on concrete. Arden cursed as I sat up rapidly, startling him.
“Sorry,” he muttered. “I dropped my pillow behind my cot and it got stuck.”
He jerked the cot again and a white lumpy object fell to the floor. As he leaned over to snag it, my eyes widened. In the dull lights reflecting from the hallway I could see the glint of metal and familiar horizontal lines.
There was an air vent.
My bag was sitting on the floor by my cot, the food and weapons had been removed but I could always steal more. It would be easy to slip into the vent without being seen. Arden was always taken away first, I would have nearly five minutes before they would notice I was gone and—
Mouse stirred beneath me and my thoughts instantly stopped, then took another route.
She was small. I could easily guide her through the vents with me, but then what? What would we do once we made it outside? I had barely been able to keep myself alive and fed. How could I possibly provide for her too?
I could leave her here. Tell her I was coming back… lie to her.
I felt sick just thinking about it. But here she would have food and care. With me she would suffer like I had. Even though leaving Mouse here was the better choice for her, the responsible one, the idea of not being able to protect her myself appalled me.
Arden shoved his cot up against the wall again, covering the vent. This time Mouse awoke to the noise. Her fingers crept over the wool blanket searching for me. A lump caught in my throat as I grabbed her fragile fingers and lay back down.
“It’s okay, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” But even as I said the words my eyes stared at the spot on the wall where I knew the vent was.
When I woke in the morning Arden was already gone and the kind-faced boy sat on Arden’s cot watching me. It should have startled me, made me angry that he had gotten into the room without my knowledge, but it didn’t. Mouse sat at his side chewing on something red. A book was cradled in her lap.
I watched her, wide-eyed.
Something flew at my face. I caught it reflexively. The taut shiny surface was smooth against my skin. My heart rose.
An apple.
I had not eaten one since I was a child. Another photo flash from the past.
“No bread today?” I tried to keep the joy from my face.
“I figured you would be tired of bread.” He stretched, rising from the cot.
“What do you have there?” I asked Mouse, eyeing her book.
She grinned and held it up for me to see. It had words and pictures of people making hand gestures. I furrowed my brow.
“It’s a book on sign language. Since Mouse can’t speak I thought it important that she be able to express herself.” He smiled down at the little girl.
I opened my mouth to ask more about the book, but at that moment a new guard entered the door, a woman. She was short and lean, with long muscles tracing her bare arms. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail, the tips of it just reaching her waistline. I rose as she moved into the room, her blue eyes on Mouse.
“Are you ready to return to classes now?” Her voice was high and maternal. Mouse shrank away from the woman.
Immediately, I moved in response to Mouse’s reaction. As I inserted myself between the newcomer and the child, the woman’s hand reflexively moved to her gun. My muscles tensed ready for attack, but before the situation could escalate, the young man placed his hand over hers in a calming gesture.
“Veyron oversees most of the youth here. Mouse was attending classes before she was brought to you. We think it is important to educate our children. Veyron is one of the best guards we have. Mouse couldn’t be in safer hands.” His hazel eyes were steady, trying to reassure me.
I turned to Mouse, gauging her reaction. She looked frightened.
“Did they take you to classes to learn, to read?” I knelt to her level.
She nodded.
“I think you should go with them. It is very important that you have an education. Knowledge can only better a person.” I kept my voice soft. Without my father’s teachings I would have never made it as long as I did.
Mouse leapt to her feet and clung to my neck.
“Are you scared they won’t bring you back here?”
Her tiny head nodded furiously.
A large hand passed over my arms, careful not to touch me, and fell lightly on her back.
“Mouse, I promise we will bring you back here. Have I ever lied to you before?” His deep voice was close to my ear.
Mouse raised her red-brimmed eyes to his and shook her head no, but her hands tightened on my shoulder.
“I will take good care of her until you get back.” He soothed the child, brushing the tears from her cheeks.
She looked at me, fear still in her eyes. I understood her fear of losing me. The thought of the air vent still burned in my mind.
“I promise I will still be here when you get back. I won’t leave you.” Those were the words she needed to hear. Wiping the last of the tears from her face she released me. I watched as she took Veyron’s hand. The guard’s face was astonished as she looked at me, like she had just seen a Ravager show kindness. I wanted to wipe the look off her face for her. I may be calloused, but I was still human. I could be humane, if I tried.
When the little brown head turned to me just before they left, I smiled at her once more in encouragement. After she disappeared my smile wavered. The vent… Had I just lied to the only person who had ever shown me adoration in this horrific city?
Before I could overthink it, the young man moved to the door gesturing for me to follow. “Come on, we have work to do.”
I raised my eyebrows at him. “Since when is sitting in the same room, answering the same damn questions over and over again work?”
A smile pulled at the corner of his lips. “No questions today. If you are going to stay here for a while, then you need to start pulling your weight. Besides I figured doing something physical outside of that tiny grey room might do you good.”
I moved quickly after him now, eager to do anything other than sit in that room again. And eager to move away from the vent that was calling freedom to me. I had promised I would be here when Mouse returned. My escape could wait another day.
To my pleasant surprise there weren’t other guards waiting for us in the hall. I rejoiced at the absence of those leering black eyes.
“No Maddox today?” I meant to sound casual, but there was too much spite in the way I said his name.
The sandy head turned at the harshness in my tone. “No, it’s just you and me today.”
A mild relief washed over me. If it came down to a fight I had a better chance defending myself against this man than the hulking Maddox. It was horrible to think, but it was true. I tried to focus on the sounds of our feet and not on the attack moves I could use on him that were flickering through my brain.
“Don’t waste that. Apples are hard to come by these days.” He eyed the perfect red fruit in my hand. I jumped at the opened conversation, needing a distraction.
“You never told me your name.” I took a
bite of my apple relishing in its juicy sweetness.
“You never asked.”
That brought me up short.
“You have a point.” I waited for him to respond but he continued forward in silence. I rolled my eyes at his stubborn back. “So what is your name?”
“Triven,” he replied. While I could not see his face, I was sure he was smiling.
“Phoenix,” I offered in return.
“I know.” He was certainly smiling now.
We had moved down several halls I had not seen before. There were more doors, more sounds of other people. We stopped in front of an archway; there was no scanner panel here, just an open walkthrough. A pungent aroma filled the air around me as we moved through it, mixed with the foul stench of human filth. The room was ten times bigger than any I had seen so far. Blackened pipes hung from the ceiling above great vats. One side of the room was filled with piles of filthy rags and clothing. At the other end fresh linens hung from wires and piles of nicely folded clothing lay next to them.
“Work.” Triven gestured to the piles around him. “Every person here contributes in some way. Today we are going to help with the laundry.”
The work was easy, mindless even, but it felt so good to be on my feet moving again that I didn’t care. We worked mostly in silence; folding the dry garments, hanging the wet to dry and washing the dirty clean. It was systematic and we worked surprisingly well as a team, the large pile dwindling quickly.
“Are there usually others in here helping?” I asked, wiping the sweat from my brow.
Triven mirrored me, pressing his sleeve to his glistening temple. “Normally yes, but Arstid felt it was safer to keep you from the other citizens for now.”
It surprised me to hear stern-faced Arstid had agreed to my little outing. But even more surprising was hearing Triven call his people citizens not Tribesman.
“Triven,” I waited until his eyes met mine. “Where are we?”
I knew there was fear in my eyes and for the first time since I arrived here, I didn’t try to hide it.
He leaned closer opening his mouth to speak, but a louder voice rang out. My muscles instantly tensed at the sound.
“That’s enough work for today.” Maddox’s voice boomed in the large room. “Arstid has requested your presence.”
The blood in my veins boiled as his eyes raked over my sweat-soaked body. I was now acutely aware of just how tightly my damp clothing clung to my skin.
“We can’t have you appearing before her like that though. Showers first, I think...”
I actually recoiled as his meaty hand reached for me. It was a sign of weakness. I feared him and the horrid smile on his face proved he knew it. Hatred crept through me— hatred at myself for exposing my fear and hatred at him for delighting in it.
I braced myself to attack. I would die before I let that man defile me. He had managed to restrain himself from touching me last time, but the hunger in his eyes told me I might not be so fortunate again.
To my surprise, a body stepped between us, blocking me from Maddox’s reach. Triven rose to his full height, but Maddox still towered over him.
“I will take her to the showers and then to see Arstid. You are dismissed.” There was a harshness in Triven’s voice I had never heard before. It was commanding and strong.
Despite the murderous look on Maddox’s dark face, he backed down.
“Fine,” he hissed though his teeth, but he didn’t move.
Motioning with his hands, Triven guided me around Maddox’s hulking frame, careful to keep his body between us at all times. I moved awkwardly, making sure not to turn my back to Maddox and fear prickled over my scalp when Triven did. His eyes were tense when they met mine, but he kept his unarmed back to Maddox. Still cautious not to touch me he motioned towards the door. My heart hitched as Maddox’s hand twitched on his gun.
“It’s okay, turn around and move. He won’t follow us.” Triven’s words were only loud enough for me.
Every instinct I had screamed at me as I slowly obeyed. But as I moved skittishly toward the doors, only one set of footsteps followed. Once we cleared the doorway, Triven took lead again. I instantly felt better, no longer glancing over my shoulder. But that relief was short-lived. We were going to the showers. And while Triven’s gesture seemed protective at the time, I now wondered if he had just challenged Maddox for the chance to leer at me himself. My stomach roiled as we grew near the shower area. Upon reaching the black door he opened it gesturing for me to enter first. My heart sank when he followed me inside letting the door click shut behind him. I gagged as my throat restricted, backing into the corner. But his eyes were not filled with the lust I had seen in Maddox’s. A wave of emotions rolled over his hazel eyes, but lust was not one of them. A few I did recognize, like pity, anger and pain.
He pointed to the pile of fresh clothing in the corner, unable to meet my eyes.
“There are fresh towels and clothing when you are done. Your old clothing can go in that bin and someone will retrieve it later for the laundry.” He took a tentative step backwards. “I will be outside if you need anything.”
Then he left.
I stood in shock as the door clicked shut again. At first I waited for him to come back in, to reappear coincidently just as I had undressed, but the door remained shut. I moved silently to the door staring at the handle. It didn’t move.
There was a lock.
Quickly flipping it, I waited. Surely, as soon as the metal clicked into place the banging and shouting would ensue, ordering me to open the door. But as the bolt fell into place no shouts were issued. I took a deep breath and slouched against the wall in relief. For this brief moment it was as if I were free.
The shower felt wonderful this time with no eyes watching me, but even so, I did not linger too long. Locks were great and all, but keys still overruled them. As I pulled on the fresh clothing—for which I now had a newfound respect—I finally felt clean for the first time in months. Putting my dirty clothes in the black bin, I smoothed my hair and headed back to my captivity.
Triven was seated on the floor in the hallway. His hair was wet and a fresh shirt clung to his biceps. He smiled as I looked him over.
“I hope it’s okay I decided to shower too. After I heard you bolt the door I figured it might be a while.” He ran his fingers through his damp hair.
I blinked at him. He had left me alone and unguarded and was asking if it was okay? Did he really trust me not to run?
“You trusted me?” The thought escaped my mouth.
His returning smile was soft. “You promised Mouse you would be there tonight when she returned. I knew you wouldn’t disappoint her.”
Shame overcame me. I had thought about it though. I had thought about leaving her here and never looking back. I was still thinking about it. But for tonight he was right, I wasn’t ready to run just yet.
Humming quietly to himself, he led the way to Arstid’s office. The doors to her quarters looked like any other, black aged metal fitted roughly into the cement walls. We stopped outside of the heavy door. Triven knocked three times before a voice called us in.
Structurally, the room was the same as every other I had seen, but the furniture seemed oddly out of place. In the center of the room was an oversized round table. Surrounding it was an array of chairs in varying levels of shabbiness. No two were alike. There were bookcases of random sizes and colors, every shelf filled with books, artifacts and weapons. It looked like a furniture graveyard. This must not have been her office, but a communal meeting room. The room was large compared to my cell, but nowhere near the size of the laundry room. The grey walls were covered with paper ranging from pocket-sized scraps to massive sheets larger than me. At a glance I recognized some of the scrawl as notes. There were Tribe names, weapons lists, and maps covering the pages. Before I could take a closer look, a woman cleared her throat.
Arstid rose from a high back chair hidden in the shadows of a rather large bookca
se. There was a tattered book clutched in her bony hand. As she moved towards us, her body slipped into its customary military stance. Nothing about this woman ever seemed at ease, her face pinched, her body always rigid as if ready for an attack. I wondered if anyone had ever offered to remove the pole from her rear end.
I tried to relax my stance, to not look like her. But based on the quizzical look Triven shot me, I had only managed to look awkward.
“Triven you are dismissed, I can handle her from here.” She nodded curtly at him, but he didn’t move.
“If it is permissible, I would prefer to remain here.”
“Fine.” Arstid said curtly, obviously irritated. “Just sit in the corner and keep your thoughts to yourself.”
I stared at him in disbelief. Who was this man that he could stay Maddox and speak out against their leader’s wishes? Without another glance in my direction, Triven settled himself into a chair and folded his hands waiting for her to continue.
Arstid pinched the bridge of her nose while gesturing with her other hand. “Please take a seat Phoenix.”
I chose a stiff chair. “Will you be providing me with some of the answers you so righteously promised, or are we going to continue with another round of pointless questions?”
Her returning glare pleased me. “Actually Phoenix, yes I will be providing you with answers as I see fit. And you in return are going to answer some of mine.”
I raised my eyebrows waiting for her questions, but instead she surprised me, providing answers to questions I had long been asking.
“As you have surely noticed during your confinement here, we do not follow the rules of Tartarus, nor will we tolerate those who do. Within our walls, all captives will be treated as a threat unless proven otherwise. And those who cannot be trusted will be terminated.”
Triven shifted behind me.
“For six years we have gathered allies and in return gained information about the Tribes. Our community is comprised of excommunicated Tribesman and those of us who were foolish enough to follow your mother from The Sanctuary. We call ourselves The Subversive.”
My eyes widened. “That makes six Tribes…”
Arstid’s white head shook slowly. “No. We are not a Tribe. The Subversive was created in spite of the Tribes. Unlike the uncouth clans that formed within this vile city to rule and murder, we joined together out of necessity. Alone we were weak and vulnerable, together we are strong and knowledgeable.”
My eyes narrowed. This was a recruitment speech.
“The fact that you managed to survive in this city alone as long as you have speaks great lengths about your intellect. Unless you have merely been very lucky.”
Her words stung.
“I don’t believe in luck.” I said through my teeth.
“Funny, neither do I.” Her bright eyes were like stones. “That is why I am hesitantly offering this deal. You will get no time to think or sleep on it. The second you walk out this door the deal is off the table.
“Three days a week you will work wherever we see fit, earning your keep within this society. The other four you will be operating either with myself or another member of the guard. You will answer all questions we ask you and you will be forthright. In return I will provide you with the information we have gathered both about the Tribes and The Sanctuary.”
“And what if I don’t have the information you want?” I held her gaze.
“Your father’s notebook has obviously proven key to your survival here. To your advantage, most of his notes are coded and unreadable. I guarantee that between what’s in that pretty little head of yours and what’s scrawled in the journal, we can find a compromise.”
“And what will you do with that information?” I asked bluntly.
“Whatever we want to. If you prove useful, you may be privy to our plans. But until that point you will do as you’re told and play nice. If you cannot adhere to these guidelines the ramifications will be permanent.” Her chest rose and fell evenly as she awaited my answer.
Unfortunately, it didn’t feel like I was being given much of a choice. I seriously contemplated bashing in her smug face with my chair and rejoicing until the guards came for me, but a noise distracted me. Triven cleared his throat and I was reminded of those who needed me here. Of Mouse, who I promised I would return to.
“We have a deal.” My jaw clenched as the words slipped out.
To my surprise Arstid’s face did not break out into the smug smile I had expected. Instead her gaze hardened, as if she had wanted me to lash out, to defy her.
“We have a deal.”
Arden and Mouse were both waiting for me when I returned to our cell, their anxiety clearly dissipating when they saw me. We ate in silence until the lights turned out, my eyes constantly gravitating to the vent behind Arden’s bed. As Mouse’s breaths turned to light snores, Arden finally spoke to me.
“Do you think you’ll run if you get the chance?” His voice was barely a whisper.
“I’m afraid that chance has already passed.” I said and rolled over.