Rane shrugged. “It happens.”
“I guess it’s not surprising,” Rafe mused. “If I hadn’t brought them across, they’d most likely have died of old age by now.”
“We need to keep this business about Mara under wraps as best we can,” Vince said, getting back to the subject at hand. “Mara’s made some enemies in her time. If she’s lost her powers, this would be the perfect time for those who hate her to try to get even. If either of you hear anything, let me know.”
Rafe nodded. “Will do.”
Rane blew out a ragged breath. Why was nothing in life ever easy? Some days, he wished he could mutter a few magic words and make the rest of the world disappear.
Chapter Sixteen
Mara sat on the examining table while Dr. Ramsden listened to her heart, then took her blood pressure. Earlier, he had examined her and ordered more blood work.
“So, is everything all right?” She had intended to make future appointments with a human doctor, but Logan had talked her out of it. Even if she was fully human, he’d argued, the baby might be a vampire. No human doctor would be prepared for that. After thinking it over, she had agreed with him.
Ramsden nodded. “So far, so good. Your vital signs are normal.”
“For a mortal, you mean?”
He smiled sympathetically. “Yes, for a mortal.”
“And the baby?”
“Growing as expected.”
He glanced at her chart. “You, on the other hand, are growing a little more than you should,” he remarked, flipping through his notes. “You shouldn’t be gaining more than a couple of pounds a week.”
Mara shifted on the edge of the table. She had been eating way too many sweets, but she couldn’t seem to help it. Whenever she was worried or depressed, which was often, she reached for something covered in chocolate.
“What’s your diet like?” Ramsden asked.
She shrugged, too embarrassed to tell him that she favored chocolate over broccoli, and cheeseburgers and fries over salad.
He frowned thoughtfully. “Eating must be an interesting experience after so long.”
“Yes, it is.”
“I don’t even remember what food tasted like,” he mused. “Are cheeseburgers as good as they look?”
She nodded.
“Tell me, what it’s like, eating solid food again? My last meal as a human was black beans and brown bread. Hardly noteworthy.”
“It’s . . . I guess ‘interesting’ would be the best way to describe it. There’s so much to choose from, so many textures and flavors unheard of in my time, or yours.” You could spend thirty minutes in the store just trying to decide on what kind of bread to buy—white or whole wheat, potato or rye, cinnamon with raisins, or Hawaiian. Not to mention bagels and buns and muffins in mind-boggling varieties.
“I should have thought to recommend a book on nutrition.” Ramsden pulled his prescription pad from his coat pocket and jotted down the title of a well-known book on dieting and pregnancy. “You might want to pick up a copy of this on your way home, or look for it online. And try to get some exercise.” Tearing the sheet from the pad, he handed it to her. “I’ll want to see you again in six weeks.” He made a notation on her chart. “Have you given any thought to moving here, at least for the time being?”
“No, why?”
He lifted one brow. “Because your doctor is here.”
Of course. Why hadn’t she thought of that?
“You remember I told you it might be necessary to hospitalize you during the last trimester?”
She nodded, though spending three months in bed was the last thing she wanted. Of course, if she could spend it in bed with Logan, it wouldn’t be so bad. “Do you think that’s going to be necessary?”
“No, but I’d like you close by, just in case.” At her worried expression, he patted her arm reassuringly. “I don’t want to worry you unnecessarily, but you need to be prepared for . . .”
“For what?”
“For complications,” he said. “As far as I can tell, everything is as it should be, but due to your past, there could be problems. You understand?”
She placed her hand over her stomach, reassured when she felt the baby move.
“The way things look now, I don’t see any need for bed rest. Assuming nothing changes, I’d suggest you arrange to be here no later than the end of September. I’d like you close by during that last month. First babies often come early, and with your history”—he shrugged—“better safe than sorry.”
Mara nodded. She had hoped to find a doctor in Los Angeles, but qualified vampire doctors were few and far between; in case of an emergency, she wanted a doctor who knew about her preternatural background.
“So, how’d it go?” Logan asked when she entered the waiting room.
“He said everything’s fine.” She refused to think that something might go wrong. With every day that passed, the baby she carried became more real, more important. “How would you feel about moving to Nevada in a month or two?”
Logan frowned, then grunted softly. “I guess it would be a good idea, wouldn’t it? I’ll see about finding us a place to live.”
Mara stared at the date on the newspaper. July third. It was her birthday, an event she hadn’t thought of or celebrated since Dendar had brought her across all those centuries ago. Counting only her mortal life time, she was twenty-one years old today. Twenty-one, unmarried, and pregnant. It would have been a scandal in days gone by. She remembered when girls who had the misfortune to get pregnant out of wedlock were locked away, or sent out of town to stay with a relative until the baby was born. These days, it was no big deal. Girls went to school pregnant; they even took their babies to school with them. Morality seemed to have gotten lost somewhere along the way, along with so many other values that were now viewed as old-fashioned and out-of-date. All in all, she thought mankind had been more civilized back in the early twentieth century. Certainly human values today were not what they once had been.
Mara placed a hand on her swollen abdomen. What kind of world would her child grow up in? She had been excited the night she felt the baby’s first kick. She had gone to the bookstore and bought a dozen books on childbirth and child rearing and read them avidly, her excitement waning from one page to the next as the reality of what she was facing dampened her enthusiasm. Parenting was an awesome responsibility. She could barely take care of herself these days. How could she raise a child? She had never had a loving home, but she wanted one for her son or daughter. Perhaps Dr. Ramsden could help her find a suitable couple to adopt her child.
With a sigh, Mara gazed out the window. Her son or daughter would never know her. Perhaps she could write a letter to be given to her child when it was old enough to understand why she’d had to give it up. Or, better yet, perhaps she would write the story of her life. If it did nothing else, it would provide her with something to do until the baby was born.
Excited by the idea, she booted up the computer, then sat there, staring at the blank screen. How to begin? At the beginning, of course. The words flowed as she described her early years, the time she had spent as a slave in Pharaoh’s household, Dendar’s appearance in her cell, her awakening in the per nefer, the room where mummies were made.
Mara paused, wondering if she should describe the process used for making mummies. It was a rather grisly undertaking, one that took seventy days to complete. The chief embalmer, known as the hery seshta, wore a jackal mask to represent Anubis, the god of mummification. He had assistants known as the wetyu. After the organs were removed from the corpse and dried, they were placed in special containers called canopic jars. In the afterlife, the various parts of the body would come together again and the deceased would again be whole. Once all the organs were removed, the body was washed with wine and rubbed with spices and then it was left to dry for forty days. After the body was fully dried, it was adorned with jewelry and then wrapped in a linen shroud and bound with strips of linen.
After the mummy was wrapped, it was fitted with a mask fashioned in the likeness of the deceased so the ka, or spirit, would recognize itself in mummy form. The masks of kings had been made of gold; the masks of lesser mortals had been made of wood and painted gold. Slaves weren’t customarily mummified, but Shakir had been a wealthy man and he had wanted to take his slaves, all of them, into the afterlife with him. If it hadn’t been for Dendar, she would now be lying in Shakir’s tomb.
Mara glanced over her shoulder as Logan entered the room. He had fed recently. It showed in the lingering glow in his eyes, the added color in his cheeks.
He smiled when he saw her. “What are you doing there?” Coming up behind her, he placed his hands on her shoulders and looked over her head at the screen. “What is this?”
“I’m writing my life story. I thought I’d give it to whoever adopts my baby and . . .”
“You’ve decided not to keep it?”
“Yes. As I was saying, they can give it to him when he’s grown. Maybe it will help him understand who I was and why I had to give him away.”
“It might be a girl, you know.”
“No, it’s a boy. I’m sure of it. Do you think Dr. Ramsden could help me with the adoption?”
“Are you sure about this? I mean, it’s kind of sudden, isn’t it?”
“I think it would be best for the baby. Don’t you?”
“I don’t know, Mara. This has to be your decision, but if you’re sure it’s what you want, why not ask Rane and Savanah if they’d like to adopt him? That way you could see him—or her—whenever you want.”
“Of course,” Mara said, wondering why she hadn’t thought of it herself. She considered Rane and his kin as family. Who better to raise her child? Her son and Rane’s daughter would grow up as brother and sister. “I’ll go see him tomorrow night . . .” Her words trailed off. She could no longer will herself to Porterville. She looked up at Logan. “Will you drive me?”
“How about if I take you there, vampire-style?”
“I’d like that,” she said wistfully. She missed her preternatural powers more with every passing day, missed her old life and all that it had entailed.
“Tomorrow night, then,” Logan said. “Will it be a problem, my being there?”
“I don’t think so.” Vampires were notoriously territorial, but she was sure that, since Logan was her friend, he would be welcome in Cordova territory.
The thought of seeing Rane again filled her with excitement, but it was short-lived. She had always been the strong one, the Queen of the Vampires. How would Rane and his family feel about her when they learned her powers were gone? Would they look at her with pity, or with contempt?
Rising from the computer, she looked up at Logan. “I don’t think I can face them.”
“Why not?”
“Because I . . . because he’s . . . they’re . . .”
“Ah,” Logan murmured. “You’re embarrassed because you’re no longer one of them.” He stroked her cheek. “One of us.”
She nodded. “I was always the one in control. Now I’m . . . prey.”
Muttering an oath, Logan drew her into his arms. “Stop that! I’ve never met any of the Cordova vampires, but from what you’ve told me, they’re not going to feel any different about you. And I’ll be there to protect you, just in case I’m wrong.”
Mara wrapped her arms around his waist. “You’re so good to me, Logan, and so good for me,” she murmured, and wondered again why she had ever left him.
Logan and Mara left for Rane’s home just after dusk the following evening. For Mara, being whisked through the air while under someone else’s power was a new experience. As a vampire, it was exhilarating; as a human, it made her feel queasy and a little dizzy. She added it to the long list of things she didn’t like about being human.
When they arrived at Rane’s house, Mara took a deep breath, then knocked on the front door, wondering what Rane and Savanah would think when they saw her. The fact that she was pregnant was clearly evident now.
Rane smiled when he saw her standing on the porch. “Mara! This is a surprise,” he said enthusiastically.
Rane’s expression sobered when he saw Logan standing behind her and recognized him for what he was. Even without her preternatural senses, Mara was aware of the way the two men sized each other up, like two feral wolves meeting for the first time.
“This is my friend Logan,” Mara said quickly. “I hope you’ll make him welcome.”
Rane nodded. “Of course. I’m pleased to meet you. Come in.” Rane tried not to stare at Mara as she entered the house. It had been one thing to hear she might be pregnant, quite another to see the truth of it with his own eyes.
Mara preceded Logan and Rane into the living room. Savanah was sitting in a rocking chair with Abbey in her arms. The baby looked pink and perfect.
Rane introduced Logan to his wife and invited Mara and Logan to sit down. Mara didn’t have to be a mind reader to know that Rane and Savanah had both noticed she was pregnant but were too polite to mention it.
“So, Mara,” Rane asked, taking a seat across from the sofa, “what brings you here?”
Mara placed her hand over her stomach. “I need to ask you a favor,” she said, “a rather large favor.”
“Sure, anything,” he said. “You know that.”
“I’m going to have a baby at the end of October, and I’d like you and Savanah to adopt it.”
So, Rane thought. It was true. Frowning, he looked at Logan. “Are you . . . ?”
“Of course not,” Logan replied.
“How did this happen?” Rane asked, unable to hide his astonishment.
“The usual way,” Mara replied dryly.
“But . . .”
“I don’t know how it happened. The doctor doesn’t know. It just”—she made a vague gesture with her hand—“happened.”
Rane looked thoughtful for a moment, then said, “It’s Kyle’s, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but he doesn’t know, and I don’t want him to.”
“Don’t you think he has a right to know?” Rane asked.
“I’m not sure what went wrong between the two of you, but he’s been here a couple of times trying to find you. I think he still loves you.”
“He thinks I’m a monster.”
“Well, you’re not anymore,” Rane pointed out.
“I don’t want to talk about Kyle,” Mara said flatly. “He has no part of this.”
“Why don’t you keep the baby?” Savanah asked, hugging her daughter closer.
Mara shook her head. “I don’t know how to be a mother.”
“No one does, until it happens,” Savanah said, smiling. “You should at least give it a try.”
“I don’t know.” Mara’s gaze settled on Abbey. She had never wanted children, never thought to have any of her own. Just then, her baby gave a lusty kick. Placing her hand over her abdomen, Mara felt the first stirring of love for the child she carried. Maybe she could be a good mother. And she didn’t have to stay mortal forever. Once her baby was grown, she could ask Logan or one of the Cordova men to make her a vampire again.
“If you decide motherhood isn’t for you, Rane and I will be happy to raise your child, won’t we, Rane?”
“Sure.” He smiled at his wife and daughter and then returned his attention to Mara. “I think Savanah’s right. You should at least give it a try before you decide. Have you told anyone else?”
“No.”
“All right, then,” Rane said, “we’ll keep it that way if it’s what you want.”
“I suppose you can tell Rafe and the rest of your family, but no one else.”
“A baby,” Savanah said, smiling. “I think it’s wonderful. Oh, we’ll have to give you a shower! I’ll talk to Kathy . . .”
Mara stared at Savanah. “No. I don’t think . . .”
“Just for our immediate family,” Savanah said. “It’ll be fun. Maybe we’ll even let the guys come and we’ll make
a party out of it. What do you say?”
“I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it.”
Later that night, back at Logan’s house, Mara weighed the pros and cons of keeping the baby while she lingered in the bathtub. The more she thought about it, the more excited she became. Maybe keeping the baby wouldn’t be such a bad thing. She had spent most of her life alone, afraid to trust anyone, afraid to let anyone get too close. But the baby, her baby, would be a living, breathing part of her, someone she could love unconditionally. Someone who would love her in return. Someone who would need her day and night for years to come. Years ago, she had asked Roshan what it had been like, raising a human child. He had thought about it for a moment, and then said, “Interesting.”
Mara grinned as she reached for the soap. Right now, interesting sounded pretty darn good.
Mara grew more and more dependent on Logan as the days went by. She had no mortal friends and even though she had known Roshan and Brenna for years and considered them and their descendants as family, she couldn’t help feeling inferior, and even embarrassed, when she was with them. She knew it was foolish, but she couldn’t help it. Strangely, she didn’t feel that way with Logan, probably because she had known him for so long, or maybe because he made her feel safe, protected. Loved.
Mara thought of Kyle from time to time. Too bad she hadn’t met him now, when she was mortal. The cad. He had said he loved her, but it had been a lie. Far better to be loved than to love, she mused. It certainly hurt less.
She shook his image from her mind. She would not think of him now.
Earlier, Logan had dropped her off at the mall to shop while he went hunting. She had bought some much-needed maternity clothes and then wandered through the baby section of a department store. She hadn’t meant to buy anything, but the blankets were so soft and pretty, the sleepers so cute, the booties so tiny, she just couldn’t resist, and before she knew it, she had spent over three hundred dollars.
Logan whistled softly when he picked her up half an hour later. “What’d you do, buy out the store? How many maternity outfits can one woman wear?”