Instead, he stood at a distance, respecting whatever prayers Uthe was offering to the Divine Energy he preferred to call God or the Lord. He listened to the prayers in Uthe's head, not to eavesdrop but to absorb the cadence of his thoughts, like music. When the vampire was concluding the evening ritual, Kel moved forward, trailing his fingers over the vampire's nape, teasing the soft hair there.
"So are you satisfied with what Brian told you?" He saw no reason to delay the discussion. He'd been thinking about it since they'd fought about it last night, and ended up in Brian's lab. They'd put the scientist in the center of a discussion heated enough Brian had probably wished he'd locked away his delicate instruments and glass beakers.
Uthe lifted his head. He stayed silent and didn't move as Kel continued to caress him. He wondered if Uthe did it because of how much it stirred Keldwyn, seeing him on his knees like this.
"Yes. And because it arouses me as well," Uthe said quietly. He paused. "I know Brian agrees with you, that your Fae blood likely protects you, the same way it will slow the effects of the disease on me. Perhaps even reverse it. But likely and perhaps are important words."
"Yes, they are. Perhaps I will refuse to be denied on this." Kel stepped in front of him, looking down into the Templar's serious face. "Do you want me as your third mark, Varick? A simple yes or no."
"Yes. But not at the expense of your life or sanity. The first is a certainty when I die. I am content with the binding we have between us now."
"I am not. The third mark will increase the viability of my blood upon you. Making it even more possible that the disease is slowed or reversed."
"If that happens, then Queen Rhoswen will shut the door between our worlds. She's not going to let Lord Brian recruit Fae servants for vampires with Ennui."
Kel flashed a smile. "Yet wouldn't it be amusing to watch her reaction if he comes to her with that request, with that earnest and handsome face of his?"
"Yes. Right up to the point she turns him into an ice sculpture and has Cayden smash him to bits with a mace."
"Do you love me, my lord?"
Uthe held his gaze steadily without responding. His mind was curiously quiet and dark. He rose. "Let's walk to the gardens."
They did that in silence. Most times, Kel could be very patient. Once they reached the gardens and were walking along a stone wall border for a wealth of blooming vines, he found he wasn't in that mood. He caught Uthe's arm and pushed him against the wall, sandwiching him there with his body, his face very close to the vampire's. "Do you love me, Varick?" he repeated, softer.
"You know I do." Uthe shoved against him but Kel would not be moved. "You are in my head, my lord. I do not hold anything back from you there."
"But the mind is much more than surface thoughts. That's something new you've given me." Kel eased back, but held him there, a hand on Uthe's hip, the other palm planted against the wall by Uthe's head. "I have many powers, but the ability to be inside another's mind was never one of them. Yours is as complex as a field. The nourishing soil beneath, the heated fire far, far below. Your thoughts are like plants, all shapes and sizes, moved by a direction-changing wind. But I want the constant, the heated fire at the core. Give me your soul, Varick, and accept mine. I have never been anyone's first choice...who was mine."
Uthe's dark eyes flickered. "Does your loss of Reghan impact this decision, my lord? You told me you were concerned about letting the opportunity slip by as you did with him. I would not have you rush it for that purpose."
"I am not that impulsive, and you know it. It would not have mattered if I had acted sooner with him, regardless. He did not love me that way. I am quite capable of understanding the impact of this decision. Do you doubt it? Do you doubt me?" Keldwyn touched Uthe's face.
Uthe shook his head. "I do not, my lord. But I would not have you give your life for a shadow of the love you wanted."
He couldn't have surprised Keldwyn more if he'd turned into a toad in front of him. How had he not seen that? Since the vampire had given him the second mark, Keldwyn had embraced the intimacy it gave him, the increased bond in their more intense moments. Yet while he was learning to navigate the vampire's mind more every day, he'd learned it was nowhere as easy or open as a human servant's mind was to a vampire. Uthe left the door open, but there were plenty of rooms and mazes in which to conceal the track of his thoughts if he so desired.
"I apologize, my lord." The vampire straightened abruptly. "There are times I am far more sentimental than I should be. I attribute it to my condition."
"I don't." Keldwyn planted his other hand on the wall, caging Uthe between them. Kel was willing to turn this into a wrestling match if needed, and win. "I attribute it to your feelings for me, Varick. You want to know if I'm settling for you. If I'm so desperate for the love I wanted with Reghan that I've convinced myself I can 'make do' with yours." He paused, hoping the sparks snapping in his eyes underscored his point. "We have both lived long enough, loved often enough, to know love is not quantifiable. Reghan was then, you are now. I have not wanted to love again until now. You caused that feeling, Varick. You. I will repeat my question. Do you doubt me, or do I have to put my booted foot up your tight, devout ass to prove my point?"
Uthe smiled a little, easing some but not all of Kel's reaction. "I do not." He paused, getting a somber look. "When I get lost in my mind, you are there, with me. One day I might not be able to find my way back."
"As long as I'm there, you will not be alone. And you will find your way back. We are blood linked. You need only follow me."
Uthe lifted a hand and curled it around Kel's forearm. "Brian would say that was entirely mawkish and unscientific."
"It doesn't make it any less true. Varick, I'm not taking no for an answer, even if I have to bedevil you for the remainder of your life."
"Here I was, looking for a good reason to meet the sun, and you just gave me one."
When Kel showed his teeth, Uthe chuckled. He slid down the wall to rest on his haunches. As he fingered one of the blooms near him, Kel's brow creased. Squatting on his heels, he rested a hand on Uthe's knee. Uthe lifted his gaze to him.
"Before I decide, I would like to ride a dragon with you, my lord. More slowly this time. I would like to go to the place we were with Catriona and her friend Della. I want to lie in the field with you beneath me, your arms around me."
It was the type of thing someone would do before they said good-bye, but Kel ignored the uneasiness in his gut and focused instead on what he saw in Uthe's face, felt in his mind. It was not a yes, but it was not a no. He simply wanted breathing space. Fair enough. He hadn't given him much of that, in truth. Nor did he intend to start now.
"All right. I want something as well." Rising, he drew the riding crop out of his thigh high boot, twirled it.
Uthe raised a brow. "Did you use that on your dragon mount?"
"If I had, he'd be using my bones as toothpicks to clean a Fae lord's intestines out of his teeth," Keldwyn said dryly. "I want to use it on you. I want to see how you submit to pain under my hand."
Desire flared in Uthe's gaze before he could quell it. It didn't repel him, for certain. Kel decided to test that reaction further. "I'd also like to bind you, so tightly you cannot move, and then torment you to climax. I want you to give me the third mark when you are completely subjugated to me, completely surrendered to my will."
The swirls of color in Uthe's mind when he was aroused were like a painting, a rippling ocean of passionate red. Uthe let out a muttered curse. "You are not always fair, my lord."
"I am often not fair. It is something you appreciate about me. I also think that assumption is a wise way to start a third mark binding." Keldwyn flicked the end of the crop against Uthe's knee. "So you know if ever you slip and refer to me as your servant, I will exact revenge upon you in ways you will remember for decades. Ennui itself will be unable to dispel it from your memory."
Uthe straightened and started to move away. Kel brought him
back with a show of strength. Uthe countered it, gripping Kel's wrist, his dark eyes glittering. "You will push me to this, and we will both regret it," he said between his teeth.
"No, we won't." Kel leaned in, touched his lips to Uthe's. "Give in to me, Varick. I love you, I refuse to let you go, I want your soul. If I have to give you mine to make that happen, it is a gift freely given. You have not stood in the way of God's will for centuries; the least you can do is step out of the way of mine this one time."
"For yet another of many times, my lord, I remind you that you are not on par with God." But he held onto Keldwyn's wrist. "You already know my resistance is because it is something I want as much as you do. I just do not want to make a hasty decision because I am afraid to be alone when the Ennui takes me fully."
"When or if," Kel corrected him. "Very well. So tell me why do you want to do it? What is the proper reason to take me as a third mark?"
Uthe's jaw relaxed. "A neat trap, my lord. Because I love you. Because I do not want to be apart from you, ever. Because it already feels like our souls are bound, and this is simply the formality."
"So if all that is true, the other truth pales in comparison. Who is to say that kind of fear isn't part of the same package? Many people fear to be alone, but they do not make their decisions based on that fear."
"All right. Yes." As Keldwyn's gaze snapped back to his face, Uthe squared with him and gripped his shoulders. "Yes. You win. I agree."
Uthe laughed against Kel's mouth as the Fae crushed him against the wall, possessing his mouth with a kiss that turned heated in a blink. Kel's hands roved over Uthe's neck and shoulders, dropping to his waist and hips with intimate familiarity. Uthe pushed his body against him, letting the yearning take him. God above, it was an indescribable pleasure to surrender to this.
"I think it gave Helga a heart attack the other day, seeing the two of us twined together in the rose arbor," Keldwyn said at last when he drew back.
"Lady Lyssa did say she'd let everyone find out about us on their own." Though Uthe's submission to Keldwyn was something they'd not shared with Lyssa or anyone else. Most vampires would not understand it. The Council might think Uthe was compromised. Not that Uthe had asked to be reinstated on Council. He would wait until Keldwyn's theory about the effect of his blood on Uthe's Ennui was proven.
In the meantime, Lyssa had explained to the Council that Uthe was researching important matters in the Fae world, interspersed with brief trips like this to Savannah. He was still providing counsel when available, but the reduced stress from no longer actively serving on the Council also seemed to help slow the Ennui's progress.
"Helga was shocked, then intrigued. I think she wanted to join us."
Kel curved his fingers in Uthe's belt, latching on firmly. "Unlike vampires, I am very, very monogamous, Lord Uthe. I've only just begun to take all I want from you."
Since they'd returned, Uthe had been in a state of wonder at how he responded to the Fae's desires and demands, now that he had the freedom and time to do so. In some ways, they did the same things they always did. Chess and spirited debates, and sparring with weapons and in hand-to-hand combat. The matches could quickly become far more sexual in nature, after they satisfied themselves that they remained battle ready. Though that readiness was an unfortunate necessity for both worlds, Uthe didn't consider it a burden to be prepared to defend what mattered.
Every day brought deeper feeling and meaning to the most mundane things. For instance, when Keldwyn was brought food from the kitchens and they were eating together alone, Uthe would sample from his plate, a casual intimacy one afforded a lover. He loved the simple contentment he felt when Kel stayed with him at dawn, twined around him in his bed. He might be immersing himself in the abundant sentiment available when indulging a relationship after such a long dry spell, but he gave himself the luxury without guilt, since Kel seemed to be taking an equal pleasure in such things.
The glorious excitations of love knew no age limit. It was a very uplifting thought.
Uthe wanted to be bound to the Fae Lord with the third mark. He wanted to be bound to him in many ways. When he thought of the hungers he saw in the male's eyes, instead of being apathetic or worse, repelled by it, his own Dominant nature capitulated to it, the way he might bend a knee to Lyssa. Both of them leaders, but he deferred to her as the greater power, someone whose commands he could accept and trust.
Keldwyn stepped back, his heavy-lidded look suggesting he wanted to tease Uthe to even greater heights, now that Uthe had agreed to his will. Fae sadist. "First we'll go ride a dragon, as you wish. I will race you to the portal, and I will win, because Fae are faster than vampires."
"Usually, but--" Quick as a flash, Uthe shoved him so Kel tripped over the short stone bench behind him, going ass over end like Jacques on the receiving end of Nexus's mischief. I can't believe you fell for that twice. Literally, this time.
Uthe took the garden wall in one lithe leap, a shortcut to the forest. He didn't expect to make tremendous headway, because even toppling in a backwards somersault, Kel would still land on his feet. But vampires weren't snails.
As he lengthened his stride, he was stronger, running faster. He thought he felt more vibrant, more rejuvenated and alive than he'd felt in a very long time. It gave him hope. Hope that Kel would be right.
He wouldn't ever think of such a gift as God's reward for his faithfulness, for returning the Baptist to the heavens or protecting the world from the demon. Those things were God's will, and he was merely God's instrument. But in one burst of wondrous energy, he knew if God had deemed him worthy of this gift, he'd never take it for granted.
Because of the second marking, he could sense Keldwyn's advance, and laughed out loud at the chase, the two of them flashing through the woods together. They flushed a deer, sent the stag bounding away. Uthe went over a log in a leap as high as the creature's, and then he was descending the slope to the portal.
Keep going. It's open.
Uthe sprang over the creek and he was in the Fae world, startling a family of gnomes. He jumped over them, calling out a laughing apology as he sprinted up the hill. He remembered where the meadow lay, unless Fae magic had changed the topography. He wouldn't put it past Keldwyn to do that, just so he could arrive there first.
I will ignore that you think I would stoop to cheating.
A piercing shriek rent the air, and a shadow passed over him. At a ruffle of wind, he glanced up in time to see Keldwyn leaning down from the dragon's back, offering him a hand. Uthe took it, swinging on behind him. It was the purple dragon again, and he was newly amazed at how it felt, the strength and life of the legendary creature beneath him.
"This is still cheating," he said in Keldwyn's ear, nipping the curve of it and tugging on one of the line of silver rings he was wearing there today. "Though I guess you needed help catching up to me."
"Beware what cockiness with your Master will get you, my lord." Keldwyn put his hand over Uthe's and squeezed. "Relax and enjoy the ride."
He did. This time, with no urgency to their flight, Uthe could experience it better, though he still kept an arm around Keldwyn as he looked around him. He'd been in a plane, but there was no comparison as they soared through the open air among multi-hued wisps of clouds. The dragon skirted the periphery of a flock of swans. Keldwyn dipped his head to several other Fae winging by, carrying what looked like gifts, in natural wrappings of overlapped leaves. They'd tied them with vines whose colorful blooms made a bouquet on top.
"Birthday party?"
"Something like that. The Fae take every opportunity to celebrate with dancing and singing."
"No offense to you and Catriona, but I'm not sure I'd ever leave this world if it was my home. I couldn't imagine any of this ever getting old."
"Why limit yourself, if you can have this world as home and explore other ones?" Kel shrugged. The dragon altered course, dipping his shoulder as he took the turn, and Keldwyn leaned with him, Uthe following
the motion. Looking down upon an island with a small castle, he saw a grove of trees with fruit so bright crimson he could see them from this distance.
"Avalon. The isle of apples. The spirit of King Arthur rests there with the sorceress Morgana."
At first he thought the Fae was jesting with him, but when he realized he wasn't, a smile split Uthe's face. "Definitely couldn't imagine this getting old, my lord."
Keldwyn caressed his fingers. Rather than speaking over the wind, he spoke in Uthe's mind. You feel better these days. It pleases me to see it. I was concerned the loss of your lifelong task and quest would plunge you into a temporary melancholy. It is often that way when large goals are achieved.
Uthe slid both arms around him, his mouth pressing against the side of his throat. "No. I've wanted to see it done for so long, all I feel is relief. Relief I didn't fail, gratitude that I had the friends and resources to pull it off. Someone to watch my back."
Kel brushed the side of his face against him, his hair whispering against Uthe's flesh. "So what will you do now? Loll about and be useless?"
"I understand there's a Fae Lord who needs a boy toy to amuse him..." Uthe laughed at Keldwyn's mock look of offense. "I'm sure there will be plenty in both of our worlds needing our attendance. There's no end to the violent or misguided mischief the Fae or vampires can devise."
"True enough," Kel said in amused resignation. "Catriona wants to go back to Atlanta. She wants me to devise her a node in your world. A place of magical energy so she can stay in the mortal world for longer periods. She could use it as her home base, to prevent the depletion she experienced on her previous explorations."
"Can you do that?"
"Probably. Rhoswen might agree to it for her...in a decade. I was thinking the club Anwyn runs in that city would be a good place, and she could be under Daegan's protection if needed. Hold on. We're landing."
The dragon deposited them on the edge of another thick woodland. When they were both on the ground, Keldwyn offered Uthe his hand. Though Keldwyn was given to more romantic gestures than Uthe, this one was unexpected. But the odd, closed look on the Fae's face had Uthe putting his hand in his without question, their fingers interlacing as Kel tugged him into the forest.