His mind slowly drifted back to the inside of the dome. He must have been looking at the crowd for longer than he thought because when he turned back around the young woman was gone. He quickly looked up the stairs and caught a glimpse of her floral print skirt just before it disappeared into a group of people standing above the rows, watching the service.
He turned back around, facing the crowds once more. Something inside was pulling at him. He could feel it. What if I do find her? he thought. She’ll probably think I’m crazy. And then it happened. He turned toward the stairs and ran, skipping several of them along the way to the top. Once he hit the open hallway that overlooked the Romero Center he weaved his way through the groups of people that had collected there. After a few moments he stopped, scanning the crowd for any sign of her.
Suddenly, a beam of light hit his face and caused him to wince. He shielded his eyes but as he did the beam of light disappeared and that was when he noticed one of the exit doors along the side closing. He took off again, trying not to appear to be in such a rush so he wouldn’t attract any attention. When he reached the door he threw it open, sunlight filling his face and nearly blinding him as his eyes tried to adjust.
He walked out of the Romero Center, the door slowly shutting behind him, and he felt a cool breeze against his face. At first, everything appeared to be washed out. He could only see figures drenched in white as they walked toward the building like the negatives of a filmstrip, but slowly he was able to make out more colors. He began to scan the area, just like before, hoping he hadn’t followed a bad lead or simply hallucinated—and to be honest, and this point, he was beginning to feel like he had been seeing things. How could he not have seen her before? There were thousands of students that attended the university, sure, but he had never seen a girl so strikingly beautiful before. Had he been too preoccupied with his loneliness to notice her? Had she passed him in the many crowds he had weaved his way through as he tried to make it to class on time? Had she even been in one of his classes?
At this point, those thoughts were simply that: thoughts, insignificant at this moment. What was important was finding her, and from the looks of it she had vanished into thin air.
Just as that thought hit him he saw her standing near a set of concrete steps, the wind making her skirt brush, gently against her legs. Her hands were folded across her chest and she had her back toward him. Just as he had done inside, only with less assurance this time, he made his way to her. It still felt like he was being called to her, but this time his lack of confidence was starting to kick in. He swallowed hard, extremely nervous, as he stopped just three feet from her. He stood there for what seemed like forever, desperately searching for the words he wanted to say. “She’s going to think I’m insane. She’ll think I’m some kind of psycho chasing her out of the building like that? What’re you going to say anyways? ‘Hi, I’m Ewen. I saw you during service today and immediately felt drawn to you.’ Yeah, that’ll work, you dope.” He could feel his body temperature rising and his palms felt a little sweaty. It’s now or never, he thought.
“Excuse me,” he said, trying to keep his voice from shaking.
She turned to him, and although she was not smiling her face strangely comforted him. He still felt very nervous, but looking into her eyes gave him the confidence he needed to speak again.
“Hi. My name is Ewen.”
“Jennifer.”
They shook hands, awkwardly.
“This may sound strange, but, I saw you inside The Center and I followed you out here,” he said, knowing those weren’t quite the words he had in mind.
The thought of what he had just said made him wonder what he would do if a stranger had come up to him and said the same thing. Would he run? Would he at least be interested enough to ask why? Just as he was about to decide that he would probably run away Jennifer spoke to him.
“That does sound strange, Ewen. Why would you do a thing like that?” she said, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.
As he spoke to her again she began to look around, disinterested.
“I don’t know, really. I noticed something . . . I can’t really describe—“ he said as she cut him off.
“I’m not the kind of girl you think I am, so why don’t you just back off,” she said, turning away from him.
He had never wanted so badly to be invisible in all of his life. She does think I’m crazy, he thought. And for a moment he was ready to turn and walk away, but something inside of him—the same thing that hadn’t let him take his eyes off of her and the same thing that had given him the courage to follow after her—made him stay.
Out of the blue she began to speak to him again, turning around to face him.
“I know you think because I go here that I’m one of these girls that acts all holy in public but is a completely different person behind closed doors. Trust me, you’ve got the wrong girl,” she said, angry.
“I know you are,” he said. “That’s why I followed
you . . .I think,” he said, the hint of a smile forming.
His words caught her off guard and Ewen could see her anger turning to confusion.
“I don’t want anything from you, Jennifer, except maybe to talk, if that’s alright?” he said, genuinely.
Jennifer’s guard fell and suddenly she began to feel ashamed. She lowered her arms to her side, nervously.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—“ she said, only this time Ewen interrupted her.
“It’s okay. If I were in your position I’d be suspicious of me too. I don’t trust anyone around here either. This place has got more fake than Hollywood sometimes,” he said. She smiled at him.
Standing there in the chilled air and watching her smile he realized for the first time since he had been on campus he didn’t feel so alone. He felt like he was starting to come alive. He was right about her. Something in her, something about who she appeared to be was different than the others.
Suddenly, one of the exit doors to the Romero Center burst open and a resident assistant came walking out, heading toward them. He had a short haircut, almost a buzz, and he was wearing khakis and a denim dress shirt. Jennifer looked at him and then quickly looked to the ground, trying not to draw attention.
“Oh, great,” she said, under her breath.
“What?”
Ewen turned around and immediately saw the resident assistant heading for them. It was odd, but in that moment the first thing that came to his mind was how bland the R.A.’s tie was. He wanted to laugh, but knew now was not the time.
The R.A. spoke as he approached them, a serious look on his face.
“Excuse me, guys, but no one is allowed out of the Romero Center during this time without a proper written excuse,” his voice was confident and strong.
Jennifer motioned as if to speak but Ewen stepped in before she could say anything.
“My friend here was feeling a bit sick and needed some fresh air. I was just coming out to check on her,” Ewen said.
“Do you have a written excuse?” the R.A. asked, treating their exchange more like business.
Again, Ewen was filled with another inappropriate thought. Yeah. We knew she was going to need some air and got her mommy to send her a note for today, His own sarcastic tone rang perfectly in his mind, but he knew better than to actually say that. He wanted to get them both out of trouble, not stir some up.
“No. It just kind of came on suddenly,” Jennifer said.
“I’m sorry about that, miss, but I’m going to have to write you both up. Everyone is supposed to be inside for the service at this time,” the R.A. said, pulling out a pink pad from the pocket of his khakis.
“Look, we’re really sorry but we weren’t skipping out on the service. She just wasn’t feeling so good,” Ewen pleaded.
“There’s a bathroom inside of the center,” the R.A. said, pulling out a pen and filling out two of the pink slips.
“Yes, but that’s not fresh air, is it?” Ewen said.
He tried to keep himself from getting too upset. He knew this guy would write him all kinds of fines if he even sensed anger. That was one thing that wasn’t tolerated around campus. If you got angry you needed to swallow it or pretend it didn’t exist because if anyone noticed, you would either find yourself with enough pink slips to cover your dorm room walls or you would be spending the evening in the Dean’s office. Unfortunately for Ewen, the R.A. was beginning to notice.
“If you continue to have this attitude I’ll have to notify the Dean,” the R.A. said, his threat sounding a little hollow.
Ewen took a deep breath, bringing his tone back in check before speaking up again.
“There’s no need to get hostile with us. Can’t you just let us off with a warning and let us go back inside?” he asked. But he knew what the answer would be.
“I’m sorry. Rules are rules.”
That was the last straw. Ewen had spent so much time at Mountain Valley trying to abide by rules so he wouldn’t get in trouble. He wanted to fit in and knew breaking the rules would only make him an outcast in this environment. So he had spent two semesters obeying every ridiculous rule they could dream up and smiling through it all the way. But none of it had worked. He was still an outsider no matter how many silly rules he had followed. And what made it worse was that he had betrayed himself by doing it and had ended up with nothing. He was not the type of guy to just look passively at things that he felt were not right. He had always stood up for what he had believed in and had fought for the logical. Now, as he looked at the R.A. preparing to rip the pink slips off and hand them out, he realized he felt more like a robot than human being.
“That isn’t very Christian of you, you know?” Ewen said, finding the harshest tone of voice he thought he could get by with. “Isn’t that what you guys around here say whenever somebody breaks the rules?” Ewen added.
The R.A. looked up at him, appalled.
“I didn’t break the rules. You did. And as a matter of fact if you keep it up I’m going to write you another fine,” the R.A. said, finally getting angry.
“I’ll bet you would. You’d love to write that whole pad up and give it to me, that way you’d meet your quota for the month and get yourself a nice little bonus all under the guise of doing what’s best for the campus. It would make a great story for your little R.A. buddies back at the dorm, wouldn’t it?
“Let me ask you something. When you slipped up one day and said a word you shouldn’t have, did you write yourself a pink slip or did you try to forget about it and move on? When you had a thought that wasn’t so pure and you felt guilty about it, did you write yourself up or did you try to move on? How about the last time you looked at someone who was breaking the rules and thought, ‘I’m glad I’m not them,’ laughing after you wrote them up? Did that make you want to write yourself up or did you just sit back and enjoy it because you’re in charge and you’re the one with the pad and the pen?”
The R.A. looked at Ewen, a rage he had never felt emanating from behind his eyes.
“What are your names?” the R.A. asked, the anger in his voice barely being contained.
Ewen turned to Jennifer, a smile on his face.
“Miss?” he asked. “Would you like to get out of here for a while. Maybe take a ride or something?”
Jennifer smiled defiantly, understanding what he was doing and decided to play along.
“Why, yes. That sounds simply wonderful,” she said.
They both turned and walked away, the R.A. following them. When he got closer he grabbed Ewen by the arm and pulled him around to face him. As he did something inside of Ewen flared up. His face went red with anger and he could feel his heartbeat speed up. As the adrenaline surged through him he threw his other arm toward the R.A. and his fist connected instantly.
The R.A. stumbled backward, holding his face and crying out in pain. His legs slipped out from under him and he collapsed to the concrete. A small amount of blood began to run out of his nose, collecting just over his upper lip.
“Don’t you ever touch me again,” Ewen yelled, his face still filled with anger.
Suddenly, a campus security guard appeared, rushing over to the scene. He quickly restrained Ewen, grabbing him by both of his arms and pulling him away from the R.A. who was just getting to his feet.
“Watch it, kid,” the security guard said to Ewen.
Jennifer rushed over to Ewen, trying to free him from the guard.
“Let him go! He didn’t do anything!” she yelled.
“Step away, miss. I’m warning you.”
The guard looked to the R.A. for the story.
“What happened here?” he asked him.
“These two were skipping service and I was trying to write them up. They refused to give me their names and started to walk off. I followed them and that’s when he hit me,” the R.A. said, wiping the blood from under his nose.
The security guard looked down at Ewen.
“Is that true?” he asked.
“He grabbed me,” Ewen said, knowing that his argument would never seem as strong as the R.A.’s. “We came out here for some air and he started harassing us. When we tried to reason with him—“
The guard interrupted him before he could finish.
“Reason with him? He’s an R.A. and you do what he says. I don’t care how much air you needed. You know the rules. Besides that, you don’t hit an R.A. or anyone else for that matter.”
At this point Ewen knew he was going down and the part of him that wasn’t the robot the university so desperately wanted him to be was breaking free for the first time in a very long time.
“If I were you I’d keep my mouth shut and do what you’re told. You already lucky you’re not going to the Dean’s Office this afternoon. I’m sure he’d be glad to find out why an R.A. ended up with a bloody nose,” the guard said. “Now give me your ID’s.”
Ewen and Jennifer found them in their respective places and handed them over to the security guard who quickly filled in the last details on the R.A.’s pink slips. He tore the slips off and gave one to both Ewen and Jennifer.
“Here. A nice thirty dollar fine for the both of you.” the guard said, handing the pad back to the R.A. who was looking right at Ewen.
“I believe you were wanting a warning? How’s this: If I ever see you skipping service again, you won’t be seeing her or anyone else on this campus ever again,” the R.A. said as another, smaller, bit of blood began to run down his nose.
“Get back inside. I don’t want to see you out here again.” the guard said.
Ewen wasn’t sure but he thought he saw the R.A. grinning, proudly, out of the corner of his eye as he and Jennifer began to make their way back toward the Romero Center. They could hear the security guard’s walkie-talkie beckoning him to another area as they approached one of the doors to the building.
Ewen looked over at Jennifer, his face returning to its normal hue. She smiled at him, looking a little unsure of what to say.
“I know this isn’t the best time, but would you like to go to dinner with me?” he asked her.
“As long as you take me far away from here,” she said.
They both walked back inside the Romero Center disappeared into the crowd.
CHAPTER 5
Robert had spent most of the afternoon trying to forget about what had happened at the radio station. His first class of the day had been, ironically, Mass Communications and during most of the lecture he kept envisioning himself strangling Terry Lubscomb in a silly, almost cartoon-like way. His second class had been Bible History, a required course for all incoming freshman. His professor, a lady with curly blonde hair and stockings that were a bit too dark for her skin tone, had taught about politics in the Bible. He hadn’t been very interested in politics his entire life thus far and, needless to say, the professor hadn’t changed his mind. Twenty minutes into her speech he found himself struggling to keep his head up and his drool in.
It wasn’t until the eleven o’clock service at the Romero Center that he finally snapped out of it. Their guest speaker had been Reverend Tom Dotson, a slightly overweight man in his forties wearing a black suit. At first Robert hadn’t been impressed. He looked like one of those preachers that yelled a lot and was constantly dabbing their forehead with a handkerchief. Robert wasn’t fond of being yelled at by anyone, including a preacher. But as Reverend Dotson began to speak it became abundantly clear that Robert had made a mistake. He was an extremely intelligent man who was actually quite soft spoken. This caused an interesting effect on Robert and the rest of the audience. They paid close attention.
The reverend spoke on the book of Daniel, specifically chapter three. He told them the familiar story of how God had saved Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego from the fiery furnace. He had related it to how little confidence most Christians put in God. Those three men had no intention of ever worshipping an idol or demigod because they believed that God alone was worth the praise and devotion. Their confidence in God led to them being protected from the flames of the furnace and, ultimately, to King Nebuchadnezzar realizing the power of the one true God.