She and Jared talked a while longer but despite all the topics they covered they avoided one, she resisted prodding him with questions about the Gemini gang and he made no mention of them either.
Soon it was time to go see the Director and she gave her brother another hug before she left, folding his small body into her arms. Like before he stiffened then he slowly raised his hands and gave her a brief hug back.
As she headed up another flight of stairs, the door to the floor opened so fast that there was no way to avoid him and they collided.
Niko threw out her arm to keep them both from tumbling down the stairs and after a moment their chaotic movement ceased.
Malik still held onto her as their hearts slowed, he looked much more vulnerable now that he was no longer hiding behind a wall of glass and plastic. She looked away from him stepping to the side and using the excuse of retrieving his glass to break away from him. The fall had caused one of the lenses to pop out and she handed what was now a monocle back to him. At least his eyes hadn’t flickered like they had in the breakfast room. She gave an involuntary shiver.
She moved past him and gone only a couple steps when Malik said. “I was worried about you.”
She turned around leaning against the railing, having gone up two steps she was the same height as him and this time she looked him in the eye. “You thought I was dead, Malik. How can you worry about a dead person?” She placed her hands on her cheeks in mock apprehension. “Gods, I hope someone buried her deep enough? Besides,” She continued. “I’m sure the company wasn’t so bad, you seem to enjoy them well enough that morning.”
It was as if being Outside had encased all of her feelings about him in glass to be placed on a shelf and dealt with some other time. Now it had become as broken as his glasses and everything was spilling out.
“I can explain that.” He said.
“I don’t want you to.” She said, her voice was low, even. “I don’t really care.” And she discovered that after all this time it had become true.
He didn’t appear shocked by her candor but he was obviously hurt by it. “It’s because of what I’m turning into isn’t it?”
“I would never do that.” She said seriously then anticipating his next question she added, “It’s not because of Ben either.” Poor Ben, he would be so disappointed to hear that.
He fiddled with his broken glasses at a loss as to what to say next. She took the chance to resume her climb to the top floor. “Have fun.” She tossed over her shoulder.
“Niko.” He called out and she paused though every cell in her body begged her to make a clean exit. She twisted around.
Forgetting that his glasses were missing a lens her shoved them over his nose and made a face at his skewed vision. “If you’ve going to see the Director you should change.” He advised tugging them off again.
She looked down at herself, she still wore the paper shirt and pants she woke up in, something the Director with all her spiels about beauty wouldn’t appreciate.
She thanked him and he nodded in response.
No one was in her room when she opened the door and she was grateful. Ari’s side of the room was as cluttered as usual (an organized clutter she was quick to insist), Niko’s side of the room looked untouched, as if she had simply gone on a brief walk--- a brief week long walk--- everything was exactly as she left it.
She pulled open one of the drawers to change her clothes and saw things weren’t precisely as she had left them. She now had more black clothing than red.
She stared at the two colors that dominated her wardrobe vying for her allegiance. Obviously the Director would be please if she appeared before her drenched in red but she was tired of being confined to one color just because she agreed with a particular side. In the end she chose neither, visiting the Director in a glittery white shirt and a flimsy grey skirt that looked as if it would disintegrate at the merest mention of rain.
As she spoke with the Director she omitted most of what really happened in favor of the story she and Ben had agreed on the last night they were outside of the city walls. “You know you can’t tell anyone the real reason why you were out here.” He said to her then coughed into his hand. “Especially not the Director.”
Niko lifted a corner of the blanket letting the night air slip inside. Their combined breathing and Ben’s fever had made temperatures in the wheelbarrow stifling. “Of course, I don’t want anybody going after Lo and Norm.”
They decided that as they were doing their regular surveillance run their helicopter had crashed and a woman named Gretchen and her son rescued them. A storm prevented them from leaving as soon as possible but they discovered the son’s abilities and had encouraged them to come to the city.
“They should be only a few days behind us.” She concluded, placing her hands in her lap.
The Director who had spent the time watching her with one hand wrapped around her chin finally moved. “I’ll be sure to notify the Council of their pending arrival, Ms. Niko; with the helicopter gone it’ll now be much more difficult to recruit members for the Circle of the guards.”
Niko said nothing, she didn’t think she’d sound properly contrite.
After speaking with the Director she went back into her room. She meant to be in there only briefly but when she closed the drawer and turned back around Ari stood in the open doorway, leaning against one side. There was a studied casualness about her pose but the slight pinch between her brows ruined the effect.
"You're angry with me."
Niko said nothing. She was tired; all she wanted to do was find Jared and spend as much time with him as possible.
Taking her silence as a sort of affirmation she took a step toward Niko. "I thought Malik had told you about the three of us." She stopped and shook her head; she offered Niko a tiny smile. "Wait, that sounds like an excuse, I hate excuses. I should have been the one to tell you and I'm sorry I didn't. My mother told me you don't have many relationships like that Outside."
Niko rubbed her thumb along the edge of the dresser, it was true that there weren't many triples Outside. It was difficult enough for the average family to survive, why compound that struggle by adding another adult? The weekly ration limit was five gallons of water, it effectively kept family sizes down to a small, manageable number.
"I didn't leave because of that." She said softly trying to keep the image of three pairs of Slither eyes from invading her mind.
Ari's eyebrows jumped. "Really? Well, that's a bit of a relief; I agonized about it for days."
"You lied to me."
Ari went still.
"You knew where my brother was and you never told me. Why didn't you tell me?”
Understanding dawned and Ari came toward her, hand raised, stopping only when Niko took several hasty steps back. The hand hovered in the air between them until Ari lowered it, wrapping both arms around her stomach.
"We never told you because we wanted to surprise you. Then we lost him and it never seemed like a good idea to say, 'Oh by the way, Niko, we thought we knew where your brother was but we waited a wee bit too long in retrieving him and he vanished into thin air. Don't worry we'll be faster next time!' Is that what you really wanted?"
"But you never even gave me that choice." Niko said. Her voice rising. "You assumed you knew what was best for me. Do you really think I'm that fragile?"
Ari opened her mouth to speak, then closed it running a hand through her hair. "You're not fragile, none of us are. I should have remembered that."