Read Nikolai Page 18


  Face red, I nodded. "In my defense, I was really young—like ten and eleven. My mom had just died, and my dad was really screwing with my head. My grandparents were trying to rein me in and keep me on the straight and narrow. I was basically a hot mess."

  He touched my arm. "I didn't mean to embarrass you. I honestly didn't know."

  I had only known Sergei for a couple of years so I wasn't surprised. I doubted Nikolai allowed his men to sit around and gossip about my sordid family past. "It's okay. We've all made mistakes, right?"

  "Da."

  We started walking again, and I finished answering his question. "When it was time for me to go to high school, my grandparents sent me to St. Mary's. It's a private all-girls Catholic school that has one of the best college prep programs in the state. Lena was a senior there and Erin was a junior and her best friend. They sort of took me under their wing and kept an eye on me."

  "And Dimitri's wife? When did you meet Benny?"

  "Benny was Lena's roommate during their freshman year of college. I met her through Erin who met her through Dimitri. She helped Lena and Benny reconnect."

  We entered the mud room and slipped out of our jackets. Because it was sort of wet and misty outside, I toed off my shoes and left them to dry on one of the mats rather than trekking muck all over the hardwood floors.

  Sergei trailed me into the kitchen. "Catholic school, huh? I bet you were hot in that uniform, especially with that tiny little plaid skirt."

  I playfully punched him in the arm. "You're a pervert."

  He waggled his eyebrows. "You still have that uniform? I'd be happy to go upstairs and help you find it one of those boxes so you can model it for me. "

  "Sergei!" Nikolai's stern voice startled us. The icy glare on my soon-to-be husband's face left Sergei pale.

  Not wanting Sergei to get in trouble for some harmless teasing, I stepped between them. "He was just joking with me."

  Nikolai's gaze slid to me before flicking back to Sergei. "Danny needs help hanging those paintings Vee unpacked last night. He's in the library."

  "Sure, Boss." Sergei hastily crossed the kitchen and disappeared from sight.

  Annoyed, I pursed my lips. "Nikolai…"

  He held up his hand. "I know he was teasing you but I don't appreciate the humor. I won't allow the men who work for me to make dirty remarks about my wife."

  The blossoming feminist in me decried Nikolai's extremely conservative stance—but I'd be lying if I said I didn't secretly relish his possessive, protective behavior. Even so…

  "Kolya, you can't keep me in a glass box."

  His cheek twitched in that way I'd come to recognize as his tell. He only did it when he refused to acknowledge how unreasonable he was acting. "When it comes to you, there are lines."

  It was clear we weren't going to get anywhere with this conversation, not today at least. Setting my purse on the counter, I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around his waist. He relaxed under my touch and embraced me tightly.

  Nuzzling my cheek, he whispered in Russian, "I don't mean to upset you. I shouldn't feel so possessive of you but you're precious to me."

  Being told I was precious to him made my heart swell. After the way I'd been discarded and abused and used by my parents, I'd always secretly feared I wasn't good enough to be loved or cherished. It was one of the reasons why I'd decided to wait until marriage to make love. I wanted to know that I was truly loved and desired and special. That I was worth the wait.

  Nikolai cupped my cheek and traced my mouth with his thumb. "I'm not proud that it made me so jealous to hear you two laughing about something so intimate."

  "It didn't mean anything. It was just a silly joke."

  "I know—but I want to be the one teasing you like that. I want to be the one who makes you blush."

  "It wouldn't take much," I said with a playful smile.

  "No?" He lowered his face until our cheeks were touching. His lips brushed my ear. "What if I told you that I'm counting down the hours until I can strip every last piece of clothing from your body and run my hands all over your naked skin? That I sit in my office and dream of all the wicked ways I can use my mouth to make you scream my name?"

  My face grew heated as he described the things he wanted to do to me. Breaths hitching in my chest, I dared to glance up at him. The searing intensity of his gaze left me trembling with excitement and arousal. Desire pooled low in my core, and my body ached with such need.

  I tried not to let my mind wander down that path but his words conjured erotic images that left me licking my lips and clenching his arms. "I think about the same things at night. You have no idea how hard it is for me to stay in my room. Sometimes I get up and make it all the way to my door before I find the strength to go back to my bed."

  My confession made him breathe harder. "Just a few more days and there won't be any more doors between us."

  As his mouth descended toward mine, it curved with mischief. "And you'd better dig out that old school uniform because now I have to know what you look like in that tiny plaid skirt."

  My heart beat wildly in my chest at his naughty request. "Oh?"

  "Yes." His lips teased across mine. "And I fully intend to have you while you wear it…"

  "Nikolai!" I gasped at his scandalous request.

  He laughed softly and kissed me again. "I like hearing you gasp my name like that."

  I couldn't believe how he was teasing me. This was a side of Nikolai I'd never seen—and I really liked it. The closer we got to our wedding, the more he relaxed around me. These little glimpses of how our intimate life would be left me shaking with anticipation.

  Licking my lips, I slid my hands up his arms and rose on tiptoes to kiss him. As my hand glided along his chest, I encountered a hard bump. "What's this?"

  "Reach into my pocket and find out."

  I narrowed my eyes at the impish curve to his sensual mouth but did as instructed. My fingers closed around the small box. Even before I retrieved it, I knew exactly what it was.

  Nikolai took the jewelry box from me and opened it carefully. "I thought it was time I made it official."

  I hadn't minded my bare finger at all. Engagement rings were just symbols. It was the love between us that mattered.

  But I'd be a bald-faced liar if I said I couldn't wait to get his ring on my finger. He'd chosen a brilliant round diamond surrounded by a halo of tinier stones. Instead of platinum, he'd had the dazzling stones set in intricate, entwined bands of yellow and white gold.

  "Nikolai," I whispered with awe as he slid the ring onto my finger. "It's so pretty."

  "You like it?" The insecurity in his voice surprised me. With everyone else he was supremely confident. Only with me did he allow himself to show any vulnerability. I was reminded of that morning he'd made me breakfast, when he'd told me about love being a weakness. I hadn't fully grasped his meaning then. Now, after everything we'd survived, I understood so much better what he'd been trying to say that morning.

  I touched his cheek and kissed him. "I love it, Kolya."

  He traced the braided gold. "I picked platinum at first but I thought it would look too cold on your finger."

  I liked the way he described the richness and warmth of the gold. "It will match the wedding band I picked for you."

  "I know."

  Of course he did. No doubt he'd already taken a peek at his ring at the jeweler he'd sent me to see.

  A loud clatter and a string of curse words, some Russian and other English, exploded from across the house. Danny started arguing about whose fault it was the ladder had fallen while Sergei complained about his hammered thumb.

  With a heavy sigh of frustration, Nikolai touched his forehead to mine. Since he'd rescued me, his home had been overrun with people. For a man who valued his privacy, he probably found it nearly unbearable.

  "How much longer do we have to live like this?"

  His fingertips grazed my face. "I'm not sure."


  Staring into his eyes, I found the courage to ask, "Does it make you nervous that it's been so quiet since you rescued me? That no one has tried to hurt us again?"

  He pulled me tighter into his embrace. "You shouldn't worry so much."

  Even as he tried to soothe me, I sensed he shared my fears. The person who had ordered the hit on him all those years ago had waited so long to try to hurt him again. I suspected my father's release from prison had spurred my kidnapper to action. He probably feared my father would squeal on him. Leaving me to die in that fire was his way of hurting both my father and Nikolai.

  But he'd failed. Would he fade into the shadows again and disappear for years? Or was he going to find a way to finish what he'd started? My father's unexpected and unwanted appearance at the gallery had me leaning toward the latter. This guy, whoever the hell he was, wasn't going to accept failure a third time.

  Our wedding was only a few days away. We should have been excited to start this new phase of our lives together. Instead of focusing on creating a home and family together, we were both constantly thinking about the danger that awaited us. The looming threat hanging over us would suck the joy right out of what should have been the happiest day of our lives.

  Nikolai's lips ghosted across the crown of my head. "No one is going to hurt you."

  "What about you? Who is going to keep you safe?"

  "I'm handling it, Vee."

  He spoke so calmly and sounded so assured. It occurred to me that Nikolai was probably running a hidden endgame that he was deliberately keeping from me. I wanted to be annoyed with him but I had a feeling he was trying to protect me. There really were some things I didn't need—or want—to know.

  He gently tilted my head back and peered down into in my eyes. "I won't let anything ruin our wedding day. It will be perfect for you."

  Warmth spread through my chest and curled around my heart as the knowledge that he would do anything to make me happy. "I can only imagine the number of favors you've had to call in to make that promise to me."

  His lips briefly touched mine before he whispered, "You're worth it, solnyshko moyo."

  Chapter Seventeen

  Before I knew it, I was standing in an anteroom of the church while Lena fussed over my gown and veil. The days between my last dress fitting and our wedding had sped by so quickly. My tummy fluttered with a wild swarm of nervous little butterflies.

  "You okay?" Lena shot me a knowing look as she dabbed at my hairline with a tissue. "You're starting to sweat, Vivi."

  "It's nerves." I played with my engagement ring. The familiar weight of the diamonds and gold felt so right on my finger.

  She put her hands on my shoulders and stared into my eyes. "Are you sure you want to do this? There's still time to call it off."

  If anyone else had asked me that question, I would have been irritated or angry. Lena asked because she loved me and wanted what was best for me. "I know what I'm doing. I want to marry Nikolai."

  "You're not just marrying Nikolai. You're marrying all of it."

  She wasn't saying anything I hadn't already considered. It wasn't pretty and it wasn't proper—but I couldn't change the way I felt. "I love him. All of him."

  "I know you do." Her gentle smile eased the slight sting of disappointment. "Whatever my disagreements with his line of work, I know that he loves you so much, Vivi." She primped my cap sleeve and inhaled a short breath. "So—let's do this. Let's get you married and started on the next chapter of your life. A very happy chapter," she added with a grin.

  I slipped my arms around Lena and hugged her. "I love you, Lena. I'm really glad that you're with me today."

  "You're my best friend in the whole world. Where else would I be?" Her dark eyes glistened with tears. She caught the tears threatening to spill from my lashes onto my cheeks with the tissue. "See! I told you that expensive mega waterproof mascara was worth it."

  We giggled as she touched up the minimal makeup I'd worn today. I'd been to weddings here at St. Vladimir's where brides came in fresh-faced but I'd chosen a natural look with just the slightest hint of color.

  "You're going to blow them away," Lena said as she bumped me aside with her hip so she could get a better look at her reflection in the mirror.

  "Says the maid of honor who upstaged the bride," I teased. With her darker skin, she could pull off colors I could only dream about, especially that buttery yellow satin. The shawl collar highlighted her neck and collarbones. The diamonds she wore today were the same ones she'd worn to Benny's wedding to Dimitri. Apparently, they were officially her good luck diamonds now.

  She rolled her eyes and adjusted the tilt to her hat. "Oh, please. You're the one who looks like a fairytale princess. The rest of us will be invisible once they get a look at you."

  A knock at the door announced Sveta's appearance. The older waitress had long been a good friend and supporter of mine. A friend of my grandmother, she'd taken me under her wing when I'd started attending services at St. Vladimir's and had been my godmother when I'd been baptized into the faith. Now, all these years later, she had happily agreed to stand as my koumbara, my Orthodox sponsor in marriage.

  Sveta smiled at me. "It's almost time, sweetheart. Are you ready?"

  I took one final look in the mirror. The last few apprehensions fled. There was no one else in the world I wanted but Nikolai. "I'm ready."

  Gathering up my short train and the yards of lace from my mantilla veil, Lena followed close behind me as we left the small dressing area. I'd taken six steps outside of the dressing room before I saw Eric standing in the hallway. Dressed in a crisp, dark suit he looked like one of the wedding guests but I doubted he'd come to celebrate.

  "Vivian." His face a mask of anxiety and regret, he hurried to close the distance between us.

  My stomach pitched. Was he going to go off on me again? Right here? Just minutes away from my wedding? "Eric."

  He gripped my hands but didn't speak for a handful of tense seconds. "I shouldn't have said those ugly things to you at the gallery. I'm sorry, Vivian. I really am. I was just so angry—but that doesn't make it right. I'm sorry. So sorry."

  My heart softened toward him. "I forgive you, Eric."

  He rubbed the lace of my veil between his fingers. "I don't agree with the choice you've made. Honestly, I came here intending to drag you out of here."

  Lena took a step forward. "Eric—"

  "But," he looked pointedly in her direction, "I'm not going to do that. You're my cousin. You're my family, and I love you. I don't want to lose you from my life."

  "I don't want to lose you either."

  "You won't." He stepped beside me and offered his arm. "I know you guys don't do that whole 'giving away the bride' thing but I'd like to walk you the rest of the way."

  My eyes prickled with heat as I slipped my arm around his. Eric represented the last link to my blood family. Even if he didn't like my decision, it meant so much to me to have him with me today. "Thank you, Eric."

  He leaned down and kissed my temple. "I love you, kiddo. If this is what you want, then let's do it." He glanced back at Lena and grinned. "If I get the urge to stand up and interrupt the wedding, I'm sure one good kick from Lena with those pointy high heels of hers will shut me right up."

  The tension between us faded with the laughter we shared. Arm in arm, I let Eric escort me down the hall where I would meet with Nikolai—and begin my new life as his wife.

  *

  Nikolai rested his hand against the cold window and stared at the empty benches under the trees. There were birds hopping along the ground but he wasn't paying them much attention. His thoughts were occupied with Vivian.

  He'd never wanted anything as much as he wanted her. Right or wrong, he couldn't imagine a day in his life without her by his side. He needed her like he needed air. She was the sunshine that promised to illuminate the darkness in his world. He craved her loving heat.

  But the fear that he was going to ruin her life gripped him. The
chilly fingers of dread blossomed in his belly and spread through his chest. All those old fears returned. She was too good for him. She was too innocent. She deserved so much better than a man like him.

  Guilt seized him as he thought of taking her as his wife and binding her to him forever. Could he do this? Should he do this?

  Yuri cleared his throat. "Don't get angry but I have to tell you something that you're probably not going to like."

  Torn from his conflicted thoughts, Nikolai glanced back at his best man. "What?"

  "Eric Santos is here. He's with Vivian."

  Nikolai's heart stuttered in his chest. "What does he want?"

  "I don't know. He didn't look like he was ready for a fight. He's in a suit. He spoke with the priest." Yuri stepped forward to adjust Nikolai's tie. "I think he came to make peace."

  Nikolai grunted. "I'll believe that when I see it."

  "I didn't say peace with you. I meant peace with her." Yuri brushed his hands across Nikolai's shoulders. "They are family. When you give her your name today, you take her family as yours. Remember that."

  "I've never tried to separate them." Not even when I wanted to break his legs for making her cry…

  "I'll ask Dimitri to keep an eye on him during the reception. They get along well."

  Nikolai understood that Yuri was trying to head off any awkwardness at the celebration. "That's a good idea."

  "Well, you know me. I'm just full of good ideas."

  Nikolai snorted. "You're full of something all right."

  Yuri laughed. His expression grew serious. Grasping Nikolai's shoulders, he asked, "Are you ready to do this?"

  Did Yuri sense his second-thoughts? "I'm ready."

  "Good." Yuri clapped him on the back. "I was sure you wouldn't get cold feet but a best man is supposed to ask these kinds of things. If there are any doubters still questioning your love and commitment toward Vivian, they must not have heard about your five-hour confession with that poor father."

  Nikolai glared at his friend. "It wasn't five!"

  Yuri's smile turned teasing. "We had bets on whether or not they'd have to call an ambulance to revive him."