“Satisfied?” Lassiter said as he got out of the van. “It looked pretty good to me.”
She nodded as she emerged from the van. “I’d never know there was anything here but all that beautiful foliage.” She stood there gazing around her, taking in the exotic orchids and bromeliads, the large twisting vines that wound around the broadleaf evergreen trees that towered high in the sky and formed a canopy that allowed only a hint of sunlight to pierce the secret dimness. She glimpsed a brilliant scarlet-and-cobalt-hued parrot, heard the sounds of unseen life all around her, which were as mysterious as the rest of this shadowed world. “You know, it’s wonderful here. I’ve never spent much time in rain forests. It’s so different from the woods where I grew up. I’d like to stay for a while after all this is over.” She drew a deep breath of the moist, heady fragrance of earth, ferns, and flowers surrounding them. “Or maybe go down to Monkey Island and then see the pink dolphins. That’s supposed to be special.”
“Pink dolphins?”
She nodded. “They live in the Amazon River and are sometimes nine feet long. They’re either solid pink or pink-gray. I heard about them when I was working at the aquarium in Atlanta.”
“You’d rather see dolphins than monkeys?”
“Monkeys are interesting, but dolphins are more of a challenge. Their intelligence is almost alien. They don’t really think like we do.”
“I see.” A smile tugged at his lips. “And we know that you can’t resist a challenge.”
“Not true. I ran away from one for three years. It’s just that the world is full of wonderful and beautiful creatures that should be known and experienced.”
He chuckled. “Like your friends the tigers? I’d just as soon not experience them. I admit I’m glad there aren’t any big cats hanging around here.”
“But there are.” She tilted her head, her gaze shifting to the hills far to the north. “Not tigers, of course, but jaguars. There are jaguars living about fifteen miles from here. I don’t feel any of them closer, but perhaps I’d better check.…”
“By all means,” he said drily.
She concentrated, searching the hills to the north, where she’d first sensed the jaguar presence strong and clear. Male. Female. Cub.
She probed the male gently.
He was startled. Who?
No threat. Friend.
He didn’t understand the concept. He was a top-level predator in this rain forest. He did not need friends. But he was intelligent. If she had time, she could make him understand.
She did not have that time.
Never mind. Later. Others?
She was getting a flow of thought and pictures from him.
Yes, very intelligent.
She left a memory of friendship, good wishes, and warmth, then gently disengaged.
She turned back to Lassiter. “A male, female, and cub to the north. The closest other jaguar is about twenty miles upriver. She usually doesn’t hunt this far south.”
“So it would be safe here if we had to move Patrick?”
“Probably. But it’s smart to be careful. Jaguars are always dangerous. They have the strongest bite of any of the big cats. Even their name comes from the Native American word for ‘he who kills with one leap.’ They generally don’t hunt human prey, but if they’re hungry, they’ll eat anything.”
“Comforting.”
She shrugged. “At least, they don’t usually hunt in packs. They’re generally solitary. And if Patrick has to be moved, I’d come here with him.”
“And try to convince the jaguars to change their spots?”
“You’re thinking about that saying about leopards changing their spots. But actually both cats markings are rosette-shaped, though jaguars have spots in the middle of their rosettes.”
“I’m glad you cleared that up,” he said gravely.
“You’re laughing at me.”
“No, I’m enjoying you.” His eyes were twinkling. “I like to watch your intensity when you talk about your four-footed friends. Though, come to think of it, dolphins don’t have feet. So I’d have to encompass an entire—”
“You were wrong.” She grinned at him. “And I felt it my duty to try to educate you about jaguars. Though, hopefully, we aren’t going to have to worry about them.”
“You can never tell. That’s why we’re here.” He turned and started to unload the equipment from the van. “Grab that other bag and we’ll get everything set up for Patrick.” He moved toward the cave opening. “We may have to be careful about jaguars, but I promise you there are no golden poison dart frogs. I had Mandell’s men go over every inch of the interior and then sweep and clean the area. It’s as sanitary as we could make it.” He moved the huge branches away from the corner of the opening. “Just to make sure, I’ll go in first.”
She chuckled. “Stop being defensive. I believe you. I just thought I should check out the animal and insect threat.” She looked around as much as she could in the dimness of the cave. “Flashlight?”
He took out his flashlight and handed it to her. “Be my guest.”
She shined the beam around the cave. It appeared to be fairly large, with seven-foot ceilings and a ledge that ran across the west wall. There was a little seepage of water coming from the back of the cave, but nothing threatening.
And it was clean, amazingly clean. Lassiter had kept to his word about its being as sanitary as possible considering the circumstances. “You did good. Not that I doubted you would. I knew you’d want the best for Patrick.”
“But you had to be certain,” he said drily.
“I’m used to having to do things for myself.”
“Do you think I don’t know that?” he said thickly. “And you’re still doing it. Why the hell won’t you let me help you?”
She tensed. There was something in his voice, something in the stillness of his body, that was causing a response that was purely erotic. She could barely make him out in the dimness and she wouldn’t lift the beam to see his expression.
Because she had an idea what she would find there.
Heat.
The air was crackling with electricity.
“Why should you?” She was trying to keep her voice steady. “I’m responsible for myself. In the end, we’re all responsible for ourselves.”
“Bullshit. After everything I’ve done to you, I have a responsibility to keep you safe, to keep everything bad away from you. Not to let anyone touch you or take anything away from you.” He laughed harshly. “And the only thing I can think about right now is how much I want to be inside you, have you underneath me. And I can’t stop it, Margaret. What the hell kind of hypocrite does that make me?”
There it was, out in the open.
“Thank goodness.” She gave a sigh of relief and took a step closer to him. “I thought you’d never say it.” She started to unbutton her shirt. “We’ll both feel much better once this is over. All of this guilt and angst is silly. Let’s just do it.”
He went still. “Haven’t you been listening to me? This is— Oh shit.” She had taken off her bra and was pressing her naked breasts against him. “What are you doing?”
“I’m trying to make you stop thinking of me as this noble self-sacrifice.” She unbuttoned his shirt and moved her breasts against the thatch of hair on his chest. She inhaled sharply as it caused her nipples to harden. “Sex is good. Great sex is wonderful. It’s part of life. If you want to be responsible for me, just take the responsiblity of giving me what we both want. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next few days, but there’s nothing wrong with taking pleasure now.” She buried her head in his chest. She loved the feel of him, the scent of him. “I won’t ask anything more from you. I think I feel something for you … but you don’t have to worry about that. All I want is to be this close to you and have—”
“Be quiet.” His mouth was on hers, his tongue playing wildly.
She couldn’t breathe. The muscles of her stomach were clenching.
>
He was tearing the clothes off her. His fingers were between her legs, toying, playing.
She cried and arched toward him. “Lassiter…”
“Shh.” He was naked, too, pulling her down on the stone floor of the cave. His lips were on her breasts, pulling, tugging—
Then he was inside her.
Driving.
Hard.
Deep.
Wild.
She was trying to help him, but he was too hard, too hungry.
All she could do was take, and take, and take.
Then he was pulling her over him, his hands on her waist as he brought her down and down and …
It went on and on, and she could feel the tears run down her cheeks from the sheer pressure and intensity.
How long …
Her head was spinning, and her entire body was moving, rubbing, deep … deep …
“I can’t … do—”
“Yes, you can.” He moved harder. “I know what you are. You can do anything, be anything.… Just a little more…”
He was right: She could do anything. Because she was part of him and he was inside her, taking, burning, clutching every bit of her.…
“Now,” he gasped, his fingers buried in her hips.
Faster.
Deeper.
Wilder.
Her back arched. She cried out as sensation after sensation rocked through her.
Then she collapsed against him, her entire body shuddering. She could feel the tears pouring down her face as she tried desperately to get her breath.
She could feel his heart pounding against her, his arms holding her sealed to him as the minutes passed.
“You’re crying. Did … I hurt you?”
“No. Maybe. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter.” She moved off him and lay down next to him. The rocks were cool against her body, which still felt hot and vibrantly alive. Every inch of her was glowing, flushed with the feel of him against her, in her. “But that wasn’t why I was crying. You felt … It was beautiful, wasn’t it?” She reached over and pressed her lips to his shoulder. “And you’re beautiful, too. I’ve always thought so. You’re like one of the big cats. Lean and strong and you move … very, very well.”
He chuckled. “I’m glad you approve. Which cat? One of your tigers?”
“More like a panther, but I think that your sexual stamina is probably like a tiger’s. You were very strong just now.” She was trying to catch her breath. “Did you know that when a male and a female tiger come together for the first time, they mate hundreds and hundreds of times in a few days?”
“I wasn’t aware of that. But it sounds fantastic. We’ll have to—” He stopped. “We may have to postpone that for a while.”
She nodded. “No time. It kind of ambushed us, didn’t it? But it was beautiful, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, it was extraordinary.” He reached over and ran the tips of his fingers over her stomach. “You’re extraordinary. I didn’t mean this to happen, you know.”
“Sure you did. It’s the natural thing when two people want sex. It’s instinctive. And if you hadn’t been worried about ethics and responsibility, it could have happened before.”
“I’m still worried. I’m just ignoring it because I’m damn selfish and I’m needing you again.”
“Okay.” She beamed up at him. “Now?”
“No, not okay.” He sat up and looked down at her. “Why? I know a lot about you, Margaret. You don’t come close enough to anyone to have relationships. It’s very rare for you. I thought it was just because you were wary.”
“You’re … different. I’ve always known that. I really don’t know the reason.” She shrugged. “Because I wanted you, because sex is joy, because every minute of joy is important. Life is too short not to reach out and take it. So stop analyzing, Lassiter. I took as much as I gave. You don’t owe me anything.” She tilted her head. “So could we do it just once more? I know we can’t take much more time, but I’d really like—” She inhaled sharply as his finger moved up between her thighs. “We do have a little time?”
“Oh, yes. You’re right: Life is too short,” he said thickly as he moved over her. “We have the time.”
* * *
“It’s hard to stop.” She was breathing hard, her heart pounding. “Definitely tiger … I want it hundreds and hundreds of times.…” She looked up at him. She loved those pale green eyes, the sensual curve of his mouth, and the feel of him. “I suppose we can’t do that.” She cuddled closer to him, her hand moving over his shoulders, stroking, her nails digging into his back. “But I think you want it, too.”
“No question.”
“Maybe later.” She suddenly giggled. “Because I think I’ve finally convinced you that I’m none of the things that you think I am. I’m not vulnerable. I’m not a martyr. I’m not that gladiator wanting to taste life before I go into the arena.”
“You told me that you didn’t think there were female gladiators.”
“I was wrong. I Googled it later. There were female gladiators and they performed by candlelight in the Coliseum. But they were thought to be inferior.”
“You would have shown them.”
She nodded. “Well, I think I could have convinced the lions not to eat me.”
“I think so, too.” His voice was husky. “I think you could convince anyone of anything. I was trained as a con man and I wish I was as persuasive.” He paused. “I want you to go on that helicopter with Patrick, Margaret.”
She was silent. “Let’s talk about it tomorrow.”
“Because you don’t want to argue about it now.”
“Yes.”
“I believe we have to talk about it now.” He moved away from her and sat up. “I’m going to have to leave soon and I want you to give me your word you’ll be on that helicopter at noon tomorrow if I’m not back in time to put you on it myself.”
She froze, her gaze flying to his face. “Leave? What are you talking about? Where are you going?”
“I’m going to meet with Estefan’s brother, Carlos, and persuade him to bring his not-so-merry band back with me to help get those prisoners out of the camp.”
A bolt of fear shot through her. “You said he didn’t trust you.”
“Hey, I’m great at the con. I’ve just got to see him face-to-face to make it work. It should help that I’m telling the truth.” He made a face. “Or maybe not. Sometimes lies do work better. But I’ll make sure this isn’t one of those times.”
“Are you taking anyone with you?”
He shook his head. “That would be a mistake. I have to show Carlos that he’s completely in charge of the situation.”
“You’re leaving right away?”
“As soon as we get back to the monastery. I’m going to borrow the monks’ old truck to go as far as I can and then hike the rest of the way to Estefan’s base camp. I’ll leave the van for you in case you need it for Patrick.”
“You have it all planned. What if this con doesn’t work?”
“Then I come back, hanging my head.”
“If you still have a head,” she said unevenly. “You told me that rebel group could be pretty ruthless.”
“I’ll still have my head intact. I’ve never had a con that’s gone that far south.”
“That doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen.” She moistened her lips. “Maybe I should go along. I’m a woman, and it might make you appear less intimidating to them.”
He reached out and gently touched her face. “The women in these rebel groups are just as lethal as the men. That argument isn’t valid, I’m afraid.”
“It should be. Just look at me. I’m not that impressive.”
“I am looking at you.” He cupped her face in his two hands. “Do you know what I see? You’re all golden and true and full of life. That’s pretty damn impressive. And I’m not going to risk you.”
He was staring into her eyes, and she couldn’t look away. There was something there that wasn??
?t passion, wasn’t anything that had been between them before. She felt suddenly part of him that had nothing to do with the physical. It was too much. It confused her.
She finally managed to turn her head. “No one has the right to make that decision but me, Lassiter. Not ever.”
He muttered a curse and his hands fell away from her face. “No, you have to do everything by yourself. Every decision your own. Total independence.” He shook his head. “Well, this time the decision is mine. You came down here to help Patrick; now stay here and do it. He’s in your hands until I get back.” He got to his feet and started to get dressed. “Which should be before morning.”
“You’re angry with me.”
“Yeah, you could say that. Maybe more about you. I’m angry and frustrated and I want to kill your bastard of a father and Nicos and all the people who made you feel an outsider because of that damn gift. You have to stand alone. You’ll come so close and no further.”
She got up on her knees and reached for her clothes. “It’s who I am.” She smiled shakily. “And I came very close to you today. You seemed … pleased.”
“I was out of my mind. I want to start all over again.” He shook his head. “And why should I care if I can have great sex with you? It never mattered to me before.” He turned toward the cave opening. “Get dressed. I’ll go out and make sure there aren’t any tire prints anywhere near the cave.”
She stayed there for a minute on her knees, giving herself time to recover. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. It had happened because in some way she had hurt him just by being what she was. He was right: She had to stand alone. She didn’t want it to be true. Closeness drew her like a bright beacon. So often she had felt that warmth with Lassiter and then had felt herself pushing it away.
And it had happened again today when she’d least expected it.
So accept it and go on.
She finished dressing quickly and then was out of the cave and heading for the van.
* * *
They didn’t speak until they were halfway back to the monastery.
“We should talk about the plans I’ve made,” Lassiter said quietly. “Mandell will be in charge while I’m gone. He’ll be staying close to the monastery and all you have to do is call him if you have a problem. If Patrick takes a turn for the worse or if we have any word that Nicos is on the move, then call me. I’ll turn around and come back at once. Otherwise, I should be back ASAP. It’s late afternoon now, so that probably means sometime in the middle of the night.”