“Margaret.” Lassiter was there for her, his hand supporting her waist.
He wouldn’t let her fall. He would help her get through it.
“Or she might be in the trees above you, Nicos.” She kept her voice steady with an effort. “Jaguars are very agile. And they swim very well. There’s nowhere you can go that she can’t follow.”
“You can’t do this to me.” He kept firing and backing toward the river.
Then the word that Margaret had been waiting for came out of the darkness.
Gift?
Rosa looking up at Nicos and pleading for her life. Begging for mercy, when there was no mercy in her world.
Oh, yes. Gift.
She saw the flash of gold and black as the jaguar streaked in lethal beauty toward Nicos.
She heard him scream in agony before the darkness overwhelmed her.
* * *
She opened her eyes as Lassiter was putting her into the van and fastening the seat belt.
She was shivering.
Wet.
“Cold,” she muttered. “So cold…”
“I know.” He took off his jacket and wrapped it around her. Then he ran around to the driver’s seat. “You lost a lot of blood and then jumped in that damn river. I think I’ve got the bleeding stopped, but I’ve got to get you to the cave and have Dr. Armando take a look at you.” He started the van and stomped on the accelerator. The van skittered on the rough ground. “You knew I’d be coming to help you. Why didn’t you stall? But you couldn’t wait, could you?”
“No.” She pulled his jacket closer around her. It was warm from the heat of his body, but the chill wasn’t going away. “I couldn’t be sure. I’m … never sure. I have to be the one. Do you mind if we don’t talk? I don’t feel so good.”
“I do mind. If you pass out again, it will scare me to death.” He reached over and took her hand and held it tightly. “Stay with me.”
“I’ll try.” She tried to think of something to say that would make him stop being angry with her. It was too difficult. She would just tell him the truth. “They both had to die, you know. When I was tied to that stake at the detention center, I knew what I had to do. I couldn’t wait or depend on anyone else. I was … looking at those poor prisoners chained to that wall. I thought of all … the misery Nicos and Salva had caused. It couldn’t go on. And without them in the world, there would be a much better chance of freeing Estefan and the others. So I had … to find a way to do it.”
“All by yourself.”
“It has to be … that way. I tried to let you know what direction I was going.” She attempted a smile. “And I wasn’t entirely by myself. I just had to cement a couple of friendships.”
His lips twisted. “Because those jaguars were the only friends you could trust.”
“No, they were just part of who I am.” She shuddered. “And I’ll have nightmares about this night, but I won’t regret it.”
“You shouldn’t regret one instant.” His hand tightened on hers. “And if you need someone beside you to ward off those nightmares, call me and I’ll be there.” He was silent a moment. “If it’s any help to know that eliminating Nicos and Salva did what you wanted, then you should be happy. Removing them made it safe to attack the detention camp. Before I came after you, Mandell was coordinating the attack with Carlos Estefan to free the prisoners.”
Relief.
“It does … help.” She was so tired. She was barely able to keep her eyes open. “But I’m not happy. Too much pain, too many people hurting. But it’s good to know that it will stop.…” She drew a deep breath. “Could I please go to sleep now?”
“No. Soon. The cave is right up ahead and we’ll see what the doctor says.” His voice was soft, urgent. “Stay with me. Hold on to me. We’ll get there together.”
Together. Beautiful word. Beautiful thought.
And perhaps it would be okay to let down the barriers and stay with him for this little while.…
Santa Fe de Bogotá Hospital
Bogotá, Colombia
Margaret knew it was a hospital room before she opened her eyes. The scent was familiar and unmistakable from the time she’d kept vigil with her friend Eve in that hospital in San Diego.
Then she felt a soft head nuzzling her hand as it lay on the bed.
Juno?
“You must be awake,” Cambry said. “Juno never intrudes if it has a chance of disturbing.” She opened her eyes and saw Cambry sitting in a chair by the bed. He smiled at her. “Hi.”
“Hi,” she said. She looked around the room. Green walls, brown leather chairs, white blinds at the windows. “Where am I? The last thing I remember is getting to the cave and seeing Lassiter drag the doctor out to the van.”
“That was over twenty-four hours ago. You’re in Bogotá. We got you and Patrick out by helicopter as soon as we heard that Mandell and Carlos Estefan had secured the detention camp.”
“They’re all safe?”
Cambry nodded. “Brukman is dead; Stockton was picked up later in the hills. We had a few casualties but no other fatalities.”
“Lassiter?”
“He stayed in here with you all last night, but they’re operating on Patrick this morning and he’s with him now.”
She stiffened. “Patrick’s not doing well?”
Cambry made a face. “We knew the trip would be rough on him, but I guess we waited long enough, and he seemed to take it pretty well. But Lassiter is moving him to Johns Hopkins tomorrow, and the doctors wanted to reset that bone in his leg before they let him go.”
She let out her breath. “Good. You scared me.”
“That’s nothing compared to what you did to Lassiter. He was a raving basket case when you passed out after he got you to the cave. Dr. Armando said he thought it was just shock and loss of blood, no internal damage, but Lassiter lost it.”
“Lassiter never loses it.”
“Whatever you say.” Cambry shrugged. “Anyway, Lassiter has a common blood type, and the doctor gave you a transfusion before we whisked you and Patrick to the helicopter. You had another one when you reached the hospital. But you still wouldn’t wake up.” He smiled gently. “And after Lassiter told me what you did in that forest, I can see why you’d want to dig a dark hole to recover. However, Lassiter wanted to yank you out and make sure there wasn’t damage we couldn’t see.”
“No damage.” She looked down at her bandaged shoulder. “This feels stiff and sore, but I can move my arm. That must be good. I’ll probably be fine soon.” She tilted her head and smiled. “And here you are again, taking care of the sick and wounded. You must be tired of it, Cambry.”
“I could probably use a change of occupation. A little more activity would be welcome. But, no, I’m not tired of it.” He looked down at Juno. “The two of us have kept Patrick alive these last few days. That was worth it.” He stood up and took out his phone. “Which reminds me that I promised to call Lassiter the minute you woke. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll get that out of the way.” He was placing the call as he wandered over to the window. “Then I’ll see if I can get the nurse to find you something to eat.”
Margaret watched him as he began to speak and then closed her eyes again. She felt drained and she had to begin to gather her strength.
Sad?
She opened her lids to look down at Juno’s huge brown eyes. No, not sad. Tired. Sad things have happened. But it’s better now. And Patrick is better, and you helped to make him that way.
Yes, I didn’t let him go away. She said that I did good.
Margaret went still. She?
You’re surprised? But you told me she might come back. Suddenly she was just here. Though sometimes I get confused. She’s … different. But it doesn’t matter. She’s here.
Margaret could feel the tears sting her eyes. No, it doesn’t matter. I’m glad you have her again. And when you have the pups, I’m sure she’ll be there with you.
It’s going to happen soon. There are
three and they’re very eager to be born. She tilted her head. It will be good, won’t it?
Wonderful.
And she says I have to pay attention to you and you’ll choose what’s best for us. You are not her, but you can still be my friend. You don’t have to be her. Will you do this?
Oh, yes. Margaret reached out and gently stroked the retriever’s silky head. She could feel the boundless love that was Juno reaching out to her, enfolding her. I will never be her. Why should you need two? I am only myself. But it would be my privilege.…
* * *
“You’re not supposed to be up yet,” Cambry said in disapproval when he came in that evening and saw Margaret, fully dressed, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Lassiter won’t like—”
“Lassiter is too busy right now to be a watchdog over anyone. He stuck his head into the room this afternoon to tell me that he was flying back to the detention camp for a few hours to meet with Father Dominic and arrange to have the monks housed until he could build them another monastery. He said that Carlos Estefan had already arranged for medical attention for the prisoners, but he needed to check on that, too.” She made a face. “As usual, Lassiter has to be in control.”
“Evidently not in control of you,” Cambry said drily. “How did you get yourself dressed with that bad shoulder?”
“With great difficulty. I almost went back to bed afterward.”
“Which you should have done.”
She shook her head. “I want to see Patrick. I checked with the head nurse and she said that he’d be allowed short visits after a few hours’ rest following that bone reset.”
“Why not wait until tomorrow?”
She shook her head. “It has to be tonight. The only question is whether I can talk you into getting a wheelchair to take me to him. The nurses would have a fit if they saw me trekking through the halls.”
“But you’d do it anyway if I don’t get you the wheelchair?” He held up his hand. “Wait. I’ll be right back.”
He was true to his word and a couple minutes later he wheeled the chair into her room. “Okay. Hop in.” But he didn’t wait. He carefully helped her down from the bed and onto the chair. “Ten minutes and you’re back in bed, okay?”
“Okay.” She motioned to Juno. Come on. It’s time you were back on duty. I like your company, but he needs you.
I know. Juno trotted down the hall beside Margaret’s wheelchair. I help him heal. I didn’t know I could do it, but she showed me. I couldn’t heal her, but it’s good that I can help him.
Very good. Cambry was wheeling her into Patrick’s room and Juno immediately left her and went over to Patrick’s bed and laid her chin on Patrick’s hand.
Patrick’s eyes were closed, but he lifted his hand and stroked Juno’s head. “Hello, girl. I missed you.” His voice was still weak, but light-years stronger than it had been a few days ago. He had faint color in his cheeks and that was another good sign. He was opening his eyes and saw Margaret being wheeled across his room. “It’s good to see you, Margaret. Lassiter told me that you were on the sick list, too.” He looked at her bandaged shoulder. “He didn’t tell me why. My fault?”
She shook her head. “It started a long time before I met either of you. I’ll tell you about it sometime.” She reached out and touched his hand. “I wanted to see you. You’re looking much better. Now I know you’re going to get well.”
“I think you may be right.” He smiled faintly. “And I’m finding it fairly incredible.”
“But it’s going to take you a long time. So I’m going to put you to work.”
He looked at her warily.
“Juno needs something to do and someone to care about for the next year or so. And then there are her three pups who will need care and training. Pups can be rambunctious and a real headache, but they’re worth it. I figure by the time that you get them all straightened out, you’ll be straightened out, too.” She beamed at him. “Isn’t that a good idea?”
“Four dogs?”
“You’ll like it. And it won’t be forever. Your job with Lassiter would take you away from them too much. They’d be lonely. I’ll find more permanent work for them once you get well. When you’re ready, someday I’ll show up on your doorstep and take them away. Though probably by that time you’ll want visiting rights.”
“I imagine I would,” he said drily.
“Then it’s settled.” Her smile was luminous. “It’s the right thing to do, Patrick. I’ll send Juno with you when you go to Johns Hopkins tomorrow.”
“Send? Lassiter told me that you’d be going with us.”
“Did he? But he didn’t discuss it with me. Lassiter has this guilt thing about me and he’s always trying to find a way to keep me bored and safe.” She got to her feet, leaned forward, and kissed him on the forehead. “Good-bye, Patrick. I’ll be in touch. Heal fast.”
“I will.” His eyes closed. “Otherwise, you might wish another dog on me. Four is quite enough.”
Cambry was chuckling as he wheeled her out of the room. “If Patrick wasn’t sedated, he might have trouble sleeping tonight.”
“You know Juno will be good for him. You’ll have to stay with him for a while until he’s out of bed and on his feet, but then it will work itself out.” She was suddenly exhausted. That first burst of adrenaline was gone. “Now I’m ready to go to bed. You may chauffeur me back to my room.” She made a grandiose, imperious gesture with her good hand. “Home, Cambry.”
3:45 A.M.
Darkness.
But she knew Lassiter was somewhere in the room.
She opened her eyes and saw him standing a few feet from her bed. “Hi,” she said drowsily. “When did you get back?”
“Just a few minutes ago. I didn’t mean to wake you. I just wanted to be sure you were all right.” He took a step closer to the bed. “Are you?”
“I’m fine.” She yawned. “So much for being back in a couple of hours.”
“It all turned out to be more than I expected.”
“Of course it did. That’s your life, Lassiter. I’ve only been with you for a short time and I’ve learned that.”
“The circumstances with us were extraordinary.”
“Yes, but so is your life. I understand. I told you: I accept you as you are. Are the monks going to be okay?”
“Of course. It won’t be the same for them, but I’ll work out things to compensate. I have a few ideas. I’ll tell you about them tomorrow. We leave at eleven.”
“Go to bed. Good night, Lassiter.”
His brows rose. “Am I being dismissed?”
“I’m too tired to talk to you tonight.”
He nodded. “I’ll get out of here.” His eyes narrowed on her face. “But I’m getting very uneasy. You’re always honest. If you can’t be honest, you evade. I believe you’re being evasive, Margaret.”
“Yes.” She reached up with her good arm and pulled him down to her. “But I want you to kiss me. I’d do it myself, but I’m having trouble with—”
She stopped as his lips covered hers, stopping breath, giving life. She made a sound deep in her throat as her arm pulled him closer.
Joy? Sex? Yes. And something brighter, stronger, deeper …
She pushed him away. “I don’t suppose you’d have sex with me now?”
“Shit.” He looked down at her. “No, I will not. Although it’s almost killing me. You’re lying there in a hospital bed, you’re wounded, you’re hurting, and I believe you’re trying to distract or substitute. Or do you think you’re sensing I’m in pain again and want to help me? What the hell’s happening, Margaret?”
She was the one who was in pain, she wanted to tell him. Sex would have been nice, but she really wanted to hold him, feel the strength, let the essence of what he was envelop her. But that was too dangerous. “I didn’t think you would. I just thought I’d try.” She closed her eyes. She said again, “Good night, Lassiter.”
She could feel his gaze on her face and sensed h
is explosive frustration.
Then she heard him turn and head for the door. “Tomorrow, Margaret.” If the door hadn’t been cushioned for silence, she knew he would have slammed it.
She could feel the tears sting her eyes as she opened them again to stare into the darkness. It was stupid to feel this weak and sad. It was a beautiful world and Lassiter was only a part of it. She would be fine in a week or a month. She would just work hard, keep moving, and let the sun reach out to her.
She would be fine.
Next Day
9:40 A.M.
This backpack is awkward, Margaret thought with frustration. There was no way she could put it on her shoulders with this bandage and sling. She just had to carry it by the straps. Oh, well, she’d work something out once she got away from the hospital. It was only important she move fast right now.
She stepped off the curb at the front entrance of the hospital and lifted her hand to gesture to one of the cabs at the taxi stand at the bottom of the driveway.
“Going somewhere?”
She stiffened and then turned to see Lassiter coming out of the door behind her.
His lips twisted. “Busted, Margaret.”
She tried to smile. “I guess I am. I was hoping I’d be gone before you came to pick up Patrick. Did he tell you I wasn’t going with you?”
“No. He was busy with his doctors this morning. But I could read the signs last night.” He took the backpack from her and nudged her toward the little park across the street. “I would have had to be blind not to tell that you were trying to skip out on me.” His lips tightened. “Would you like to tell me why? You’re wounded, alone, and in a foreign country. The sensible thing would be for you to let me take you back to the United States and get you well and strong. Anyone would say that’s the least I could do after what you did for me.”
“Would they?” She didn’t look at him. “Then they would be wrong. I did what I had to do and most of it was for me … and Rosa. But I knew you’d feel like this. I even told Patrick you had this guilt thing going where I was concerned.”
“I have all kinds of things going where you’re concerned,” he said roughly. “Lust, gratitude, pity, admiration, amazement are a few to begin with … and, yes, guilt. But that’s way down on the list these days.” They had reached the park and he drew her behind the small graceful fountain. “So stop bullshitting me and tell me the truth. Why won’t you let me take you home with me?”