She leaned back against the trunk with a sigh of relief. It would be all right here for a little while. She could rest before she started out again. But she’d have to be far away from here by morning and keep traveling until she felt safe.
Safe?
She looked away from the cornfield and back into the depths of the woods.
It looked … different at night.
Dense and mysterious and threatening.
She could feel herself tense. Silly. She had been here so many times. She had even tried to make friends with some of the animals who lived in these woods.
But she didn’t know everything about this place, and animals could be as different from one another as people. Maybe, after all, there was something to fear here.…
There is something to fear everywhere, she told herself impatiently. If there were bad things here, she’d find out and avoid them. Just as she’d learned to avoid her father. But it couldn’t be as bad as what she’d faced in that three-room house only a few miles from here.
See, she was already feeling better. The dimness and mystery of the forest were not so threatening after all. If she kept thinking like that, she’d be fine. She closed her eyes and forced herself to relax.
The rain on the leaves of the oak tree above her.
The scents …
Could she hear the sounds of the animals sheltering here? If she reached out, could she join with any of them?
She put out a tentative probe. “I’m here. I’m no threat. I’m just alone and I need to be part of all this. I’m not wanted out there. But neither are you. Maybe we can help one another?”
A stirring. Raccoon?
Yes, definitely a male raccoon. No real interest in her.
But there was another stirring near the stream to the north.
She put out another probe in that direction. “No threat. It would be nice not to be alone.”
“Yes. To be alone is not good.” A pause. “No threat.”
It was a doe. Margaret could sense the freedom, the wildness, the singing speed held in restraint. What would it be like to be joined to all that beauty?
“Later?”
“Later.”
Margaret felt a rush of sheer exhilaration. This was different from the cautious approaches she’d made to domestic and farm animals in the past. This bonding was pure and clean and as wildly natural as the forest itself. Because now she was part of the forest, and, if she studied and was careful, she could become one with the animals who inhabited it. She had the sudden wild impulse to rush out giddily and start right now to do that.
Not yet. There was time for all of that later. She mustn’t intrude, any more than she’d want to be intruded upon. It was enough to be here, to be one of them, to have a chance to be free and not alone any longer.
To have a home at last.
* * *
“You’re not answering me,” Lassiter said. “How did you feel that night?”
His words jarred her back to the present. “You wouldn’t understand.” She shrugged. “And I have no intention of trying to explain myself.”
He smiled. “You’ll tell me someday.”
“No, I won’t.” She hurried on to divert him from that very personal question by giving him a more general answer. “It took me quite a while to learn how to adjust, but I did it. Nature is a great teacher. Animals understand survival and they accept what you are without question. On the other hand, when you’re not ‘normal,’ people feel uneasy around you. It can be … lonely.”
“Can it?” He was holding her gaze, and she suddenly felt as if he was surrounding her with warmth. Strange, when she had rarely seen him anything but wary and edgy. “You were only a kid. Someone should have been there for you.”
She laughed and shook her head. “That’s life, Lassiter. You take what you get. I’m sure you know that. I’ve been lucky in a lot of ways.”
“Someone should have been there for you,” he repeated. He slowly reached out and gently touched the hair at her temple with an almost caressing hand.
She inhaled sharply as she felt the warmth of his fingers through the pulse point beneath that strand. She could feel her heartbeat escalate as she looked up at him, and it bewildered her. It wasn’t sexual, was it?
No, it was something else, something that she didn’t think she had ever felt before. That touch was so gentle, so exquisitely caressing, that she felt safe and infinitely … treasured. And his intent gaze was giving her that same sensation of—
No, it was too weird and she shouldn’t be feeling like this.
She tore her gaze away and jumped to her feet. “And now that we’ve covered that particular question, I think that I’ll take a break and go talk to Cambry for a while. You caught me by surprise and I don’t like to feel this vulnerable.”
He was silent, still looking at her. She could see a multitude of expressions crossing his face, but she couldn’t decipher any of them. “Neither do I.” He was suddenly standing and looking down at her with a reckless smile. “But it’s worse for me, because I appear to also be finding you’re becoming addictive. I’ve been hunting you, searching for every detail about you for too long. Yet it’s evidently not enough. I want to know more, get closer, go deeper. And that’s the worst thing that I could do.” He took out his phone. “So let’s try to slow it down, shall we?”
She was staring at his phone. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to call Juan Salva.” He was punching in the number. “You remember Salva? He works very closely with Nicos. He remembers you. I paid him very well to tell me all about any of Nicos’s weaker links.”
She moistened her lips. “Yes, I remember him.” She could see him now as she’d seen him that night. High forehead, brown hair tied back to reveal his finely molded features, faint mocking smile.
Blood flowing across those black-and-white tiles.
“I thought you would.” He’d made the connection and spoke into the phone, “Lassiter. I have Margaret Douglas, Salva. Let Nicos know that we might be able to deal in a couple weeks. I’ll get back to you.” He hung up the phone. “Done.”
Done, she thought numbly.
It had only been a phone call to Vadaz Island, but she felt as if Nicos were close enough to touch her. Memories were flooding back to her. Yes, she remembered Salva. He had been there in the room when Nicos had fired the shot and Rosa had crumpled to the floor. He had even smiled when Nicos had done it.
“Stop looking like that.” Lassiter was suddenly beside her, his eyes glittering fiercely, his hands closing on her shoulders. “I told you I was going to do it.”
“Yes, you told me.” She pulled away from him. “And for some reason, you wanted to hurt me now. I’m a little confused and I can’t figure it out. It’s not as if I did anything to hurt you. I’m the one who you put through the wringer, and you tore my privacy to shreds.” She lifted a shaking hand to her hair. “But you must have had a reason, and I’ll work it out. But I wish you hadn’t called him. It will take me a little while to get over it so that I can—”
“Look, all you have to do is what I need you to do.” His hands were so tight on her shoulders they were almost painful, and his eyes were blazing down at her. “I’ll make sure that Nicos doesn’t hurt you. But you have to know that I’m going to do this. I have to do this.”
“I knew. You told me. You didn’t have to show me anything.” She pulled away from his grasp and started to back away from him. “Were you just trying to scare me? Well, you did it. Does it make you feel bigger, stronger?”
“I didn’t want to scare you,” he said roughly. “That wasn’t it.”
“No?” She turned and moved quickly away from him. “Then I don’t know why you did it. And I can’t stand here and try to figure it out.” She was almost running now. “So I’ll let you call Salva back and discuss how you’re going to—”
Blood.
Black-and-white tiles.
Rosa.
Sh
e was running past Cambry, then down the stairs to the cabin.
She slammed the door behind her.
She leaned back against it and closed her eyes.
Fear. Cold fear.
And hurt. Hurt because Lassiter had done this to her. She shouldn’t be hurt. It was stupid. She knew that he had a purpose and nothing was going to stand in his way. Yet she’d been lulled by that smile and charm for most of the day.
And that last gentle touch that had magically soothed and made her feel … treasured. Made her feel that no matter what had gone before, all the pain would be gone now. And then he’d struck when she was most vulnerable, followed by the shock of his moving so quickly to toss her back in time to Salva and Nicos and …
Black-and-white tiles.
Blood.
The gun.
Dammit, the tears were running down her cheeks.
Weak. She couldn’t be this weak. Get control.
“Margaret.”
Lassiter on the other side of the door.
She didn’t answer.
“Margaret, I’m coming in. Is that okay?”
“No.” She quickly wiped her cheeks on the back of her hands. “But I can’t stop you, can I? You showed me how helpless I am. Do what you like.” She moved away from the door. “But I don’t want you here, Lassiter.”
Silence. “Then I won’t come in right now. But I’ll have to do it later. I won’t be able to take it if I don’t.”
The sound of his footsteps going back up the stairs.
She didn’t have any idea what he meant and she didn’t care. She hadn’t expected that he’d pay any attention to her words. The fact that he’d given her this time to recover both her composure and her independence filled her with a deep sense of relief. She needed this period to prepare herself to face him again. She didn’t know why he had given her that grace period, but she would take it.
And try to block out that memory of the blood on those black-and-white tiles.
And the hurt when Lassiter had hurled her back to that day three years ago.
She’d be all right. She’d be fine. She just needed a little time to heal.…
CHAPTER FOUR
There was someone in the cabin.
Someone there in the darkness.
The realization jarred Margaret from deep sleep to instant consciousness. She jerked upright in bed.
“It’s all right,” Lassiter said quietly from his chair on the far side of the cabin. “Don’t be afraid. It’s only me.”
“Only you?” She could see his shadowy form in the darkness. “There’s no ‘only’ about you, Lassiter.” She started to reach over to turn on the lamp on the nightstand, but then stopped. She didn’t want to see him right now, didn’t want to feel the impact of the intensity and power that emanated from him. “And I’m not afraid.”
“You could have fooled me,” he said quietly. “I’ve been sitting here for the last twenty minutes and you were moaning and whimpering for at least fifteen of them. I was just going to wake you. I couldn’t take it. Nightmares, Margaret?”
Vulnerable again. “So?” She pulled the bedcover higher over her arms. “Everyone has nightmares. Don’t you, Lassiter?”
“Oh, yes.” He leaned back in the chair. “But I’m finding I don’t like the idea that I may be responsible for yours. It bothers me.”
“Guilt? Don’t flatter yourself. I wouldn’t let you have that kind of effect on me. I learned a long time ago that no one could hurt me if I didn’t let them. It was the shock. I should have been expecting something like that from you and I didn’t. I had to come to terms— I had to go—”
“Be quiet,” he said roughly. “I did hurt you. I could see it. Maybe I even meant to do it. Why else did you run down here like an animal in pain? Why wouldn’t you eat the supper Cambry brought you?”
“I wasn’t hungry. And I didn’t want to be around you, Lassiter.”
“And you were hurting enough that you curled up in that bed and tried to go away from it any way you could. But it followed you, didn’t it?”
Yes, it had followed her. She had been afraid that it would. “Everyone has nightmares,” she repeated. “Why are you here? I don’t want to talk to you. Our last conversation didn’t turn out so well for me.”
“Tell me about it. It turned out shit for me. And I can’t leave it like that. May I turn on that light?”
“No. Why would you want to?”
“I have no idea. It’s probably a mistake. You have some weird effect on me. That’s what got me into trouble up on deck.”
“You weren’t in trouble. You just saw that I was in trouble. Or would be, at your earliest convenience. Isn’t that why you called Salva and—”
“Be quiet.” He was across the room in seconds. The lamp was suddenly lit and glowing softly.
That’s the only softness in the room, she thought. Everything about Lassiter was razor sharp, green eyes glittering, muscles filled with leashed tension. She tensed, instinctively responding to it.
“That’s better,” he said curtly as he sat down on the bed beside her. “Now stop talking around me and talk to me.”
He wasn’t touching her, but she could feel the tingling warmth he was emitting. It was … disturbing. “What am I supposed to say?”
“Anything you want to say. Curse me, tell me what a son of a bitch I am. Whatever comes to mind,” he said harshly. “Just don’t look at me like you did on deck. It … was not good.”
She gazed at him in bewilderment. “How did you expect me to look?”
“I didn’t expect anything. I wasn’t thinking. I was just feeling.”
“That’s two of us. And it was all your fault, so I can’t see—”
“I know that,” he said through his teeth. “I’m trying to say that I’m sorry.”
Her eyes widened. “Well, you’re not doing a very good job, are you? Is this some kind of trick?”
“No, to both questions.” He shook his head. “Somehow I got myself tangled and I can’t get out. It has something to do with all those months when I felt as if I was practically living with you. Hell, it might have ruined everything. That call to Salva was my last attempt to play the game the way I planned it.”
“What are you talking about? It didn’t seem like a last attempt to me.”
“You were beating me,” he said simply. “I wasn’t seeing you as a tool to get Nicos any longer. I had to do something to get back on course.” His lips twisted. “I had no idea that it would prove so traumatic for both of us.”
“Beating you?” she said. “I was the one who took the beating.”
He nodded. “But that may turn out to your advantage.”
“What?”
“I’m finding that I can’t use force to get you to go to Nicos. I came here tonight to tell you that. Even if you won’t agree to help me voluntarily, I can’t hand you over to him.”
She stared at him, stunned. “Then you’ll let me go?”
He shook his head. “Not yet.” He shrugged. “Hope springs eternal. You may still agree to bait the trap. You’ll go with me to Nicos’s island and you can make your choice then.”
“I’ve already made my choice.”
“People change their minds.” He smiled. “Just like tigers.”
“But you won’t be able change mine.” Her gaze narrowed on his face. “Is this just a ploy of some sort? Are you lying to me?”
“Look at me.” He reached out and took her chin in his hands. “Am I lying to you, Margaret?”
Pale green eyes intent on hers. His hands warm against her skin. She could feel her heart begin to pound. She couldn’t look away from him. “I … don’t think you’re lying. But Devon said you’re good at getting people to do what you want. Maybe I couldn’t tell.”
“I haven’t been able to get you to do anything I want yet.”
“But that’s different; you haven’t really been trying anything but arguments and force.” She moistened her lips. “But I
did feel something different today when we were playing chess on deck. And I can feel it right now.”
“Can you? You shouldn’t be telling me this, you know.” He took his hands away and ruefully shook his head. “Margaret, I’d say you were as open and defenseless as a baby if you hadn’t just negotiated me into a corner that may prove very dangerous for me.”
“I haven’t negotiated anything.” She paused. “You really mean it? You won’t make me go back to him?”
“I won’t make you,” he said as he got to his feet. “But then you’ve been telling me all along that I couldn’t do that anyway. So what’s different?”
“It’s different because I thought maybe you could do it,” she said frankly. “You’re very intelligent, very strong. And you managed to track me down. That means you know me well. I knew I could get away from most people, but I wasn’t sure about you.”
He nodded. “If you’d gotten away from me, I would have found you. Because I do know you well. I’ve dedicated a year of my life to you. The reason I didn’t ask you many questions this afternoon was because I already know the answers.”
“And that makes me very uneasy,” she said flatly.
“It shouldn’t. You’ve won, haven’t you? Once we get to Nicos’s island, it will be your choice whether you want to help me.” He headed for the door. “I’ll tell Cambry. He’ll be very relieved. He was looking at me reprovingly all evening. He likes you. This was difficult for him.”
“It wasn’t easy for me,” she said drily. She was talking in the past tense, she realized. It just proved how convincing and soothing Lassiter had been during these last minutes. He had effortlessly lifted the burden of panic and depression she had been feeling and given her hope. It seemed almost too good to be true.
And it might be.
She looked at him standing there at the door, cool, strong, the passion and emotion now gone from his face. So much intimidating power and competence … “Do you promise that what you’ve said is true? That I’ll have that choice? That you’ll not lie to me?”
“You have my promise that I won’t lie to you.” He smiled. “You have my promise that I won’t force you to do anything.” His smile deepened. “But I also promise you that I’ll use every means I have to get you to see things my way. You can hardly blame me for that.”