“Yeah, they went out years ago, I guess.” The annoyance he’d felt had manifested. He was now officially pissed. “He has the pictures on his desk?”
What a fucking joke. They hadn’t gone out in over a year and his pathetic ass still had the pictures of them up?
“Nah, they were on a bookshelf behind his desk. Only reason I got up to get a closer look was because he left the room for a sec. So no shit? She really went out with his ass? You know the more I’m around her the younger she seems, so seeing her in that picture with him was creepy as shit.”
“That’s ‘cause it is.” Noah wished he could add, And that’s why she fucking dumped his ass, but he couldn’t.
That was the worst thing about her having dated such an asshole. Not only had she actually been attracted to him and dated him for several years, splitting with him hadn’t been her choice. It’d been his. And now he was sniffing around again and he was still displaying pictures of the two of them?
This didn’t sit well with Noah. He may’ve agreed to the no violence rule with Roni but he’d made it clear he wasn’t promising anything. All the shit this bastard had put him through in high school was water under the bridge now. In hindsight, Noah probably deserved some of it, but this changed everything. He’d gotten Roni to admit one thing. She wanted nothing to do with Kratz now.
If the fucker even thought about weaseling his way back into her life now he’d have to go through Noah. And Noah could think of no better way to unleash all the tension he’d been building these last few weeks around Roni than beating the shit out of someone who would try to come between them.
CHAPTER 24
The next morning Veronica made it a point to be up earlier than the norm. Noah was usually up before her even now that she’d gone back to work because of his early morning runs. But today Veronica wanted to spend as little time with him as possible before she left.
She was just filling her commuter mug with coffee when he walked in the back door. He wore the usual dark grey hooded sweatshirt he wore every morning. He stopped quick at the sight of her, taking his earpiece out of his ear and pulled his hood back. “Hey.” His smile was so sincere her insides warmed. “You’re up. How you feeling?”
She returned the smile, attempting to do what she’d decided after a long night of soul-searching and arguing with that little voice of reason who so often won, but hadn’t been winning lately. Noah was one of the best things that had happened to her. Her mother often spoke of people being brought into your life for a reason. He’d been there when she needed him most but she’d confused things. The feelings she finally admitted to having for Noah had allowed her to ignore the impracticality of it all. Just because Noah said he loved her, didn’t mean things would automatically work. Even though she got the distinct feeling that Noah thought it did.
Veronica knew now better than ever that relationships were a struggle. Noah hadn’t the faintest idea and she shouldn’t expect him to. As far as she knew he’d never even been in a serious relationship and for his age that was normal. Like her, he had other things he was obviously working on first.
She wasn’t even mad anymore that he’d had Rita’s body wrapped around him the day after he’d professed to love her. How long did she really think he’d wait around for her to make her grown up decision? This young guy with the sex drive of a stallion—she’d been witness to it every single time she’d tortured him with her goodnight kisses—it was a living thing. She almost felt guilty now for having put him through what she had and then feeling upset because he was unable to repress it when someone else offered herself up to him so easily.
She was madder at herself for yet again not doing what she said she was going to work on. She kept talking about needing to get a life—feel independent—and yet she’d made little to no effort to do something about it. Instead once again there she lay last night feeling completely lost and alone because even after going back to work all she’d done so far is look forward to her workouts with Noah and spending every free moment she had with him.
So the decision she’d come to? Slow things the hell down with Noah, beginning with the goodnight kisses—and get her life back damn it. Starting today.
As quickly as she could, she filled Noah in on how she was feeling much better and how but not why she had to be at work earlier for the next few days but that she’d be at the gym at the same time as always. Just as she walked by him to get to the back door, he took her hand in his. “I missed you last night. I know you weren’t feeling well and I understand why you went to bed early, but I wanted you to know anyway.”
Even though he’d just gotten back from his run and his sweatshirt and hair were wet with perspiration, he smelled fresh. Like the early morning residue of last night’s rain showers, but also like Noah. That masculine scent that she could only describe as what she now knew was the enchanting scent of his hot skin with a hint of the deodorant that he kept in the bathroom. The deodorant she’d actually inhaled a few times, loving how it reminded her so much of him.
Unable to do what she knew she should and say something completely safe and neutral she simply told him the truth. “I missed you, too.”
But she broke free from his hand and continued walking out the door. If she stood there for even another second she knew what would happen next. He’d try to kiss her and she’d let him. Even with all her careful strategizing, her plan already felt doomed and day one hadn’t even started. “I’ll see you tonight,” she said quickly as she walked out the door.
To her surprise Nellie answered her phone. Since she was running early anyway she pulled over and parked the moment she got a chance so she could concentrate on their conversation.
Nellie sounded a bit groggy and Veronica felt a little bad about waking her but she was so relieved to hear Nellie say she wasn’t upset with her.
“I promise I’ll keep my nose out of you and Rick’s business from here on. It’s just—”
“No, I need to hear the truth even if it hurts, Roni.” She paused but Veronica could tell she had more to say about that. “He’s gone again on a business trip—said it was a last minute change in his schedule but I checked the bank statements. His room and his plane ticket were paid weeks ago.”
Veronica held her breath silently cursing Rick and waited for Nellie to continue. “As usual he said I should try and make it out for at least a day. The trip is during the week and he thought I wouldn’t take the time off work, but I did. I’m flying out to Denver tomorrow.”
They spoke a few minutes longer with Nellie admitting that Veronica had hit it right on the nose. Nellie was afraid of what she might find if she ever surprised Rick, but she was done fooling herself. She had a very bad feeling about this and Veronica couldn’t blame her. Why else would the bastard lie about it being last minute?
After assuring her she was doing the right thing and making her promise to keep her updated Veronica hung up and continued on to work. An enormous weight had been lifted and she was suddenly feeling so much better and even more determined to get on with her plan.
By that afternoon she had to force herself to stop obsessing about that picture of Noah and Rita. She wondered how long it would before he put the text and her suddenly feeling sick, together. Obviously he hadn’t yet because she was sure he would’ve mentioned it. She didn’t even want to hear the explanation at this point. It didn’t matter anymore. Noah was free to do what he wanted just like she was. If Rita was what he wanted then so be it. The girl had temptation written all over her anyway.
As usual Derek texted her near the end of her workday to ask if she wanted to get together for an early dinner after work and as usual she almost didn’t reply. All this talk of getting her life back and needing more friends and she was doing it again. Although she knew for a fact now that she’d never survive doing the “just friends” thing with Noah she was fairly certain she could with Derek. Of course she’d have to make that very clear to him from the beginning.
W
hat she wanted more than anything was to start rebuilding her circle of friends. She had Nellie back now and Derek would make a good addition. He’d always been great at listening to her and helping her sort out any issues that were troubling her. She had no intentions of talking to him about Noah, her biggest issue at the moment. But she needed to start feeling less dependent on Noah. If what she anticipated would eventually happen, that she’d have no choice but to distance herself from Noah. It would be so much less devastating if she didn’t feel so alone. At least that’s what she reasoned with herself.
She texted Derek back agreeing to meet him at a fast food burger joint. Normally she headed straight home after work to grab something to eat, change and get some things done around the house before heading out to the gym. But today she could skip that. She’d eat with Derek then head home and get ready for the gym.
Changes—she was already making them and she felt empowered by it. First Nellie, now this. Today was turning out even better than she’d hoped.
As tempted as she was to ask Derek to elaborate more on Noah’s “drug trafficking” she didn’t want to make this about Noah. She was after all doing this in part to break free of what was beginning to feel like a hold Noah had on her.
All in all the dinner went quite well with Derek insisting they should do this more often. Veronica agreed and Derek said he’d text her again soon. They never did get to the topic of their relationship remaining a friendly one but she intended to bring it up the second there was any mention of anything romantic. It felt too awkward to bring it up their first dinner out.
She went home, changed and took off to 5th Street. As was the case lately, she parked on the street because the parking lot was full. She walked through the parking lot feeling herself tense up with every step. Maybe it was the fact that their evening was cut short and she’d ducked out early that morning but by the time she reached the gym door the nerves in her stomach were out of control. It almost felt silly.
Like yesterday, he was in the ring with Abel when she walked in. Her heart literally sped up at the mere sight of him. This was insanity, what she’d considered a good day in her quest to make changes and get a life of her own—a life that didn’t revolve around Noah, had just flown out the door. Her body was telling her what her mind had blocked out all day. That through the whole day this was the part she most looked forward to. Her skipping up the stairs of her porch when she’d gotten home from her dinner and rushing to get ready for the gym should’ve been her first damn clue.
Noah smiled as she walked by the ring on her way to stretch and then pointed at the office. Veronica knew what that meant he’d left his phone in there for her to use while she worked out. She waved it away mouthing the words ‘not today’ and kept walking. No way would she have the willpower to not sneak a peek at his texts and see what he’d responded to Rita. She’d already had one emotional night, she couldn’t take another one like it.
After her workout Noah surprised her by coming over and hugging her. It felt so good she gave into it completely hugging him back just as hard. He even let out a small moan as he released her. “Why does if feel like I haven’t seen you in so long?”
She smiled and lifted a shoulder, pretending not to know but she did know because incredibly she felt the same way. A small part of her gave into the hope that maybe she wasn’t so bad off if he was feeling the same way. Maybe it wasn’t so bad that she couldn’t stop thinking of him lately, that the entire time she had dinner with Derek she kept having to get her head back into the conversation because it kept wandering off to thoughts of Noah. Then she remembered the picture and was back to square one. It was bad and she needed to snap out of it.
Their evening went as usual, they ate and watched television together, only tonight Veronica didn’t ask to use his phone. Then she showered and Noah was right there waiting in the hall when she emerged from the restroom, wearing only her bathrobe and the towel on her head.
His smile reeked of wicked mischief. He usually waited for her to get dressed then come out and say goodnight. Tonight she’d barely made it to her door when his big body was already up against hers spiking her heart rate in an instant. Before she could protest, as if she’d have the will to, his lips were on hers.
After the night she’d had last night and an the entire day of convincing herself she had to slow this down, she should’ve tried to push him off or at least bring her hand between them so he wouldn’t be so close. Instead she kissed him back ravenously, sucking away at his tongue until he groaned in response.
His thigh was pressed against an area that was now on fire. She was sure he’d feel the heat even through her bathrobe. She finally dragged a shred of willpower out from inside her and she pulled her lips away from his breathing heavily.
“Noah,” she strained to whisper.
“Mmm,” he said continuing to kiss her chin then her neck.
“We have to slow down,” she said squirming at the delicious sensation of his tongue on her neck.
“Okay,” he said just before she felt him suck her neck.
How was it possible that she felt that between her legs? Her body arched in reaction. It was magical. Then she remembered and pulled away. “Noah, no hickeys!”
He smirked, licking his lips. “Okay,” he murmured as he buried his tongue in her mouth again. By the time she was able to put a stop to the kiss it was probably one of the longest goodnight ones to date. They’d been standing outside her bedroom door for what was at least a solid twenty minutes and their kiss goodnight had escalated to him feeling her up completely over her robe resulting in barely-suppressed moans from her. So much for slowing things down.
She stood inside her room now, her back against her door still trying to catch her breath. Shaking her head she walked over to her dresser and stared at the horny disheveled broad she saw in the mirror. She’d even lost the towel on her head in the midst of it all. Then she saw it and frowned. Damn it he was fast. Another hickey. This one smack in the middle of neck and just dark enough to be very noticeable if she didn’t apply enough make up. No wonder he’d smiled so sinfully when he finally walked away.
This day had turned out just wonderful. She was supposed to have broken some ground on adding a little distance between her and Noah—on gaining her independence. Instead she stood there, her body still trembling all over and twitching in places that ached desperately for more of him. Even while her inner voice admonished her for doing this tonight her body was already looking forward to tomorrow night.
***
The rest of he week continued with Veronica determined to stick with her plan. One way or another she would overcome what was beginning to feel like an obsession. As soon as she got a chance to, she’d talk to Nellie about this. Nellie was always so wonderful about helping see things in a clearer light.
Deciding that her time after work and before she went to the gym would be her time now she scheduled something for that timeslot everyday that week. Tuesday, she went for sushi with her coworker Sylvia who had raved more than once about the new place that had recently opened up. So Veronica hit her up and Sylvia agreed to go with her after work. That evening she managed to cut the goodnight kiss down to half the time they’d spent on it the night before, but it was still just as sizzling.
Wednesday and Thursday she spent with Derek but she hadn’t planned it that way. Wednesday she agreed to meet him for pizza after work. It was going fine until he asked about the hickey she’d completely forgotten about. Only he didn’t refer to it as a hickey he asked if it was a love bite. Mortified she’d denied it though she was certain he didn’t buy it since the only explanation she’d offered was ‘I don’t know what it is, maybe from my seatbelt rubbing against my neck.’
Even after she’d changed the subject she noticed his eyes travel to the very spot several times. One of the times she’d caught him their eyes met and even though she’d been in the middle of telling him about not having talked to Nellie in a couple of days he ask
ed, “So how are things with you and Noah?”
She’d been so stumped she went silent. Her and Noah? His wording alone was a giveaway—he knew. It was just like him to figure something like that out with the smallest of clues.
Feeling a bit defensive she said things were fine, changed the subject and said she had to get going.
Then Thursday after not being able to get a hold of Nellie again and no other prospects in mind she didn’t want to spend two days in a row with Derek, especially now that she suspected he knew more than he should. So she told him she was going to be busy with her camera at the park.
Derek knew exactly what park she loved going to for her photographs. They’d spent many good times there long ago. He showed up with burritos for two and a couple of sodas. They sat at a picnic table eating and chatting until she noticed he became distracted by a group of teens over at next table behind her.
“Damn troublemakers. I know they’re up to no good.”
Veronica turned attempting to be discreet. She didn’t even recognize him at first and it wasn’t until their eyes locked that she realized Hector was among the troublemakers. She smiled at him even though she felt the air sucked out of her. The corners of his lips lifted slightly but she saw the way he eyed Derek curiously.
Realizing their school dean was sitting just a table over must’ve deterred them from hanging out much longer and they slowly started walking away and out of the park.
“Something wrong?”
Veronica knew her face was probably white. She’d felt the blood drain the moment she saw Hector. It made no sense for her to feel like she’d been doing something behind Noah’s back all week. But in a way she knew she had.
Not once had she mentioned anything to him about the new ‘her time.’ Not even when she’d gone for sushi with Sylvia. She didn’t want it to elicit any questions about what else she’d done and with who because even though she told herself she had every right to do whatever and hangout with whomever she wanted to, she didn’t want him to know about Derek.