Judy: On our show tonight we have Mr Big Red a cattle milk tycoon who became a multi billionaire overnight by increasing the price of milk. My name's Judy Freethought and this is 'this is the week this is', a news roundup of stories that will hit the headlines in the coming week. We bring you tonight an interview with a short sighted ventriloquist's dummy who claims to be the President of America, the Sentimental Sisters will sing their latest hit single 'Sex and Drugs and Lollypops' but our special guest is the multi billionaire who single-handedly has raised the profile of cattle all around the world. Good evening Big Red and welcome to 'this is the week this is'.
Big Red: Good evening Judy.
Judy: Mr Red, yesterday you were unknown, today you're the bull of the moment. What prompted you to lead this renaissance in the power status of cattle?
Big Red: All my life I've been fighting for the rights of cattle. Let me take the opportunity here to state that for too long Australian society has, in its free and easy 'she's right mate, fair dinkum, fair go' manner, disguised its total prejudice...
Judy: (cutting in) So you have been ambitious all your life Mr Red?
Big Red: …and total oppression and repression…
Judy: We might say that you have had all your life an ambition to grab money and power.
Big Red: Power and ambition aren't really what I'm talking about, what I'm trying to point out is that cattle are an endangered cultural group.
Judy: And how do you like Sydney?
Big Red: What?
Judy: Have you been to the Opera House?
Big Red: What's the Opera House got to do with anything?
Judy: It seems to me Mr Red that your public opinion rating and your public acceptance is not what it was?
Big Red: Well…
Judy: (cutting in) What sort of reception have you been having in society? By a sweep of the hand it seems yesterday's cattle, who were herded like sheep, are now moving among the upper echelons of society. Are you just a craze of the moment, a fad, a fashion, a trendy in thing or have you found a real position in society?
Big Red: It's true at the moment it is trendy to be a cow, how long that will last I don't know. But while cattle are trendy I would like to take the opportunity to make a few definite points.
Judy: Are you planning to return to the country?
Big Red: I have no…
Judy: Surely you don't ¬find the city to your liking? For instance the lack of grazing land.
Big Red: I really tune in to the city.
Judy: Are you sure you wouldn't prefer it in the country perhaps in villages especially set aside?
Big Red: Just a moment here…
Judy: Yes sure! Well, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. Mr Big Red across Australia. We found him all very good, all very enjoyable to chat to, but quack, it's all very well for cattle to enjoy themselves, quack, and spend their money, quack, but there is a limit, quack, we have standards, quack, this is a civilised country, quack, we are not savages, quack, we are not animals, (Big Red is chased out by a quacking Judy) quack, quack, quack, quack.