CHAPTER XLVII
The Two Senoras
While Capitan Tiago was gambling on his _lasak_, Dona Victorina wastaking a walk through the town for the purpose of observing how theindolent Indians kept their houses and fields. She was dressed aselegantly as possible with all her ribbons and flowers over her silkgown, in order to impress the provincials and make them realize what adistance intervened between them and her sacred person. Giving her armto her lame husband, she strutted along the streets amid the wonderand stupefaction of the natives. Her cousin Linares had remained inthe house.
"What ugly shacks these Indians have!" she began with a grimace. "Idon't see how they can live in them--one must have to be an Indian! Andhow rude they are and how proud! They don't take off their hats whenthey meet us! Hit them over the head as the curates and the officersof the Civil Guard do--teach them politeness!"
"And if they hit me back?" asked Dr. De Espadana.
"That's what you're a man for!"
"B-but, I'm l-lame!"
Dona Victorina was falling into a bad humor. The streets were unpavedand the train of her gown was covered with dust. Besides, they had meta number of young women, who, in passing them, had dropped their eyesand had not admired her rich costume as they should have done. Sinang'scochero, who was driving Sinang and her cousin in an elegant carriage,had the impudence to yell "_Tabi!_" in such a commanding tone thatshe had to jump out of the way, and could only protest: "Look atthat brute of a cochero! I'm going to tell his master to train hisservants better."
"Let's go back to the house," she commanded to her husband, who,fearing a storm, wheeled on his crutch in obedience to her mandate.
They met and exchanged greetings with the alferez. This increasedDona Victorina's ill humor, for the officer not only did not profferany compliment on her costume, but even seemed to stare at it in amocking way.
"You ought not to shake hands with a mere alferez," she said to herhusband as the soldier left them. "He scarcely touched his helmetwhile you took off your hat. You don't know how to maintain your rank!"
"He's the b-boss here!"
"What do we care for that? We are Indians, perhaps?"
"You're right," he assented, not caring to quarrel. They passed infront of the officer's dwelling. Dona Consolacion was at the window,as usual, dressed in flannel and smoking her cigar. As the house waslow, the two senoras measured one another with looks; Dona Victorinastared while the Muse of the Civil Guard examined her from head tofoot, and then, sticking out her lower lip, turned her head awayand spat on the ground. This used up the last of Dona Victorina'spatience. Leaving her husband without support, she planted herselfin front of the alfereza, trembling with anger from head to foot andunable to speak. Dona Consolacion slowly turned her head, calmly lookedher over again, and once more spat, this time with greater disdain.
"What's the matter with you, Dona?" she asked.
"Can you tell me, senora, why you look at me so? Are you envious?" DonaVictorina was at length able to articulate.
"I, envious of you, I, of you?" drawled the Muse. "Yes, I envy youthose frizzes!"
"Come, woman!" pleaded the doctor. "D-don't t-take any n-notice!"
"Let me teach this shameless slattern a lesson," replied his wife,giving him such a shove that he nearly kissed the ground. Then sheagain turned to Dona Consolacion.
"Remember who you're dealing with!" she exclaimed. "Don't think thatI'm a provincial or a soldier's _querida!_ In my house in Manila thealfereces don't eater, they wait at the door."
"Oho, _Excelentisima Senora!_ Alfereces don't enter, but cripplesdo--like that one--ha, ha, ha!"
Had it not been for the rouge, Dona Victorian would have been seen toblush. She tried to get to her antagonist, but the sentinel stoppedher. In the meantime the street was filling up with a curious crowd.
"Listen, I lower myself talking to you--people of quality--Don't youwant to wash my clothes? I'll pay you well! Do you think that I don'tknow that you were a washerwoman_?_"
Dona Consolacion straightened up furiously; the remark about washinghurt her. "Do you think that we don't know who you are and whatclass of people you belong with? Get out, my husband has alreadytold me! Senora, I at least have never belonged to more than one,but you? One must be dying of hunger to take the leavings, the mopof the whole world!"
This shot found its mark with Dona Victorina. She rolled up hersleeves, clenched her fists, and gritted her teeth. "Come down,old sow!" she cried. "I'm going to smash that dirty mouth ofyours! _Querida_ of a battalion, filthy hag!"
The Muse immediately disappeared from the window and was soon seenrunning down the stairs flourishing her husband's whip.
Don Tiburcio interposed himself supplicatingly, but they would havecome to blows had not the alferez arrived on the scene.
"Ladies! Don Tiburcio!"
"Train your woman better, buy her some decent clothes, and if youhaven't any money left, rob the people--that's what you've got soldiersfor!" yelled Dona Victorina.
"Here I am, senora! Why doesn't your Excellency smash my mouth? You'reonly tongue and spittle, Dona Excelencia!"
"Senora!" cried the alferez furiously to Dona Victorina, "bethankful that I remember that you're a woman or else I'd kick you topieces--frizzes, ribbons, and all!"
"S-senor Alferez!"
"Get out, you quack! You don't wear the pants!"
The women brought into play words and gestures, insults and abuse,dragging out all the evil that was stored in the recesses of theirminds. Since all four talked at once and said so many things thatmight hurt the prestige of certain classes by the truths that werebrought to light, we forbear from recording what they said. The curiousspectators, while they may not have understood all that was said,got not a little entertainment out of the scene and hoped that theaffair would come to blows. Unfortunately for them, the curate camealong and restored order.
"Senores! Senoras! What a shame! Senor Alferez!"
"What are you doing here, you hypocrite, Carlist!"
"Don Tiburcio, take your wife away! Senora, hold your tongue!"
"Say that to these robbers of the poor!"
Little by little the lexicon of epithets was exhausted, the reviewof shamelessness of the two couples completed, and with threats andinsults they gradually drew away from one another. Fray Salvi movedfrom one group to the other, giving animation to the scene. Wouldthat our friend the correspondent had been present!
"This very day we'll go to Manila and see theCaptain-General!" declared the raging Dona Victorina to herhusband. "You're not a man! It's a waste of money to buy trousersfor you!"
"B-but, woman, the g-guards? I'm l-lame!"
"You must challenge him for pistol or sword, or--or--" Dona Victorinastared fixedly at his false teeth.
"My d-dear, I've never had hold of a--"
But she did not let him finish. With a majestic sweep of her handshe snatched out his false teeth and trampled them in the street.
Thus, he half-crying and she breathing fire, they reached thehouse. Linares was talking with Maria Clara, Sinang, and Victoria, andas he had heard nothing of the quarrel, became rather uneasy at sightof his cousins. Maria Clara, lying in an easy-chair among pillows andwraps, was greatly surprised to see the new physiognomy of her doctor.
"Cousin," began Dona Victorina, "you must challenge the alferez rightaway, or--"
"Why?" asked the startled Linares.
"You challenge him right now or else I'll tell everybody here whoyou are."
"But, Dona Victorina!"
The three girls exchanged glances.
"You'll see! The alferez has insulted us and said that you are whatyou are! His old hag came down with a whip and he, this thing here,permitted the insult--a man!"
"_Aba!_" exclaimed Sinang, "they're had a fight and we didn't see it!"
"The alferez smashed the doctor's teeth," observed Victoria.
"This very day we go to Manila. You, you stay here to challenge himor else I'll tell Don
Santiago that all we're told him is a lie,I'll tell him--"
"But, Dona Victorina, Dona Victorina," interrupted the now pallidLinares, going up to her, "be calm, don't call up--" Then he addedin a whisper, "Don't be imprudent, especially just now."
At that moment Capitan Tiago came in from the cockpit, sad andsighing; he had lost his _lasak_. But Dona Victorina left him notime to grieve. In a few words but with no lack of strong languageshe related what had happened, trying of course to put herself inthe best light possible.
"Linares is going to challenge him, do you hear? If he doesn't, don'tlet him marry your daughter, don't you permit it! If he hasn't anycourage, he doesn't deserve Clarita!"
"So you're going to marry this gentleman?" asked Sinang, but hermerry eyes filled with tears. "I knew that you were prudent but notthat you were fickle."
Pale as wax, Maria Clara partly rose and stared with frightened eyesat her father, at Dona Victorina, at Linares. The latter blushed,Capitan Tiago dropped his eyes, while the senora went on:
"Clarita, bear this in mind: never marry a man that doesn't weartrousers. You expose yourself to insults, even from the dogs!"
The girl did not answer her, but turned to her friends and said,"Help me to my room, I can't walk alone."
By their aid she rose, and with her waist encircled by the round armsof her friends, resting her marble-like head on the shoulder of thebeautiful Victoria, she went to her chamber.
That same night the married couple gathered their effects togetherand presented Capitan Tiago with a bill which amounted to severalthousand pesos. Very early the following day they left for Manila inhis carriage, committing to the bashful Linares the office of avenger.