Jessie drew their clasped hands to her heart. “And ever since, you’ve been trying to save as many people as possible because you couldn’t save her?”
He sighed. “Perhaps. I might not have been able to help her, but I’ll never know. Yet the biggest change came when Laurel left Kirkland. She refused to say why. For the first and only time in my life, I was tempted to murder someone, even though Kirkland and I had been the closest of friends. What made it infinitely worse was when my parents disowned Laurel and refused to let her come home.”
Jessie gasped. “How could they do such a thing to their own daughter?”
“I couldn’t believe it either.” He grimaced. “I’ve since realized they were very self-absorbed, and didn’t see either of their children as individuals. They were proud of me because I reflected well on them. They didn’t have much interest in Laurel, but were delighted when she secured an earl as a husband. Which made it all the worse when she left him, even though he made a point of saying it was all his fault.”
“And was it?” Jessie asked, intrigued.
“Yes, though I didn’t find out the cause of their separation until years later. At the time, though, what mattered was how furious I was with my parents for disowning Laurel. She’d been the sweetest and most loving daughter imaginable, and then to be abandoned!” Even now, it made his blood boil.
“So you opened an infirmary together?”
“Eventually. First we set up a joint household. I had a modest inheritance and she had a generous income from Kirkland, which made that easy. She ran the household while I studied medicine and surgery until I’d learned enough not to be a menace to my patients. Zion House was her particular project, but we worked together on whatever needed doing. The fact that I’m ordained means that I’m able to perform christenings and weddings and funerals, which has been convenient.”
“How did your parents feel about that?” Jessie asked curiously. “Did they disown you also?”
“No, though the relationship was strained nearly to the breaking point.” And was never the same again. Daniel regretted his parents’ premature deaths, but he didn’t mourn them. Which wasn’t very Christian of him, but pretending otherwise would be a lie. Yet in a curious way, his parents’ intolerance had benefited him because it led to his decision to study medicine, and laid the foundation for his close relationship with his sister. “They wanted me to be a respectable landowner. I learned the basic skills growing up at Belmond Manor, but the prospect is like being thrown in prison.”
“And now you’re responsible for not only your family estate, but all Romayne properties. No wonder you want a really good manager to oversee them all. Luckily, such people can be hired.”
“Or married, perhaps.” His brows arched. “Do you enjoy estate management?”
“I do,” she admitted. “I rather like giving orders, and I like the satisfactions of a well-run farm with prosperous people living on it. But a marriage is more than working well together.” She turned and raised a hand to his face, her fingers lightly brushing his lips. “It’s also trust. Intimacy. Passion.”
He kissed her fingertips. “Do we trust each other, my lady?”
“I trust that you will look out for Beth, and that is my most important requirement.” She twined her fingers into his hair. “I hope you trust that I was telling you the truth when I said I’ll do my best to be a good and faithful wife.”
“I do.” He touched her cheek, unable to resist her smooth, sumptuous skin.
“Intimacy comes with time and talk.” She pressed her cheek against his hand. “Sharing bed and board and passion.”
“Passion, my lady, is easy.” No longer able to resist, he swooped her onto his lap. Her warm, feminine softness intoxicated him.
Passion was very easy.
Chapter 16
Calm reason dissolved as Jessie settled in Daniel’s lap. His embrace warmed her as no Indian shawl could. Silently he buried his face in the angle between her head and neck, his pulse pounding. She closed her eyes with a sigh of relief, feeling like a sailing ship that had found a safe harbor as she learned the strength and shape of his muscular male body. Powerful, uniquely himself.
“I love holding and being held by you. Did we need all that rational talk?” she breathed. “We keep coming back to passion, which is more honest than mere words can ever be.”
He exhaled, his breath warmly tickling her ear. “I’d like to think the talk has helped build a bridge between us. I’ve wanted you since we met, but marriage requires more.”
She exhaled softly at his words. “Are we to marry, then?”
His caressing hands stilled. After a dozen heartbeats, he said more soberly, “If you truly want to marry, yes. But I really don’t think Frederick Kelham can harm you and Beth legally, so perhaps you don’t need a powerful protector after all.”
Chilled, she lifted her head and tried to make out his expression in the dark. “Does this mean you’d rather not marry me? I put you in an impossible situation tonight, but if we let a few weeks go by without an announcement, we can then tell anyone interested that we decided we wouldn’t suit. That shouldn’t be too scandalous.”
“Perhaps we’re not as ill-suited as I thought. Certainly we’ve learned more about each other in the last hour than we would in a whole season of balls and routs and Venetian breakfasts,” he said thoughtfully. “You’re not the pampered beauty I assumed you were, and I do hope you’ve stopped thinking of me as saintly. Whether we share enough common ground, I don’t know. I think that marriage is always the triumph of hope over fear. But I do want to marry you, if you’re sure for both yourself and Beth’s sake.”
She drew a somewhat shaky breath. “I’m as sure as I can be. Granted, I would never have considered marriage so soon if not for Frederick’s threats. But having met you, I don’t want to lose you because the timing isn’t ideal.”
“In that case . . .” His mouth found her, intimate and commanding.
Jessie had almost forgotten how wondrous passion could be. Now that they’d decided to marry, she let her early doubts dissolve so she could be swept along by the rare mutual passion they’d been granted. Lips and tongue and touch, and hot, hard demand in an endless, luxuriant kiss.
He held her crosswise on his lap with one of his arms around her back for support. That left his other hand free to caress. His hand slid under the shawl to cup her breast. As he thumbed the peak, she made a purring sound in her throat and pressed into his palm, wishing the layers of corset and petticoat and gown would magically vanish so they could be skin-to-skin.
His hand stroked down across her abdomen, warm and enthralling, along her hip, coming to rest on her knee. Feverishly she rolled her hips in his lap. Every fiber of her body was in motion, urgently alive.
His hand slid under the hem of her gown and found her bare knee, his thumb stroking her inner thigh. She gasped and pulled her mouth away to say, “The ground. Now! It will be better.”
He froze and she felt tension vibrating through him. Then he dropped her hem and immobilized her in his embrace. “I’ve waited this long,” he said, his voice shaking. “I intend to wait for a proper bed.”
Jarred into remembering where they were, she swallowed hard and did her best to leash her desire. “I suppose you’re right, but how long do we have to wait?”
“We’re in London, so a special license will be easy to obtain.” He stood and extended his hand to help her to her feet. “Three days? Before our friends all leave London.”
“I think I can survive three days without going up in flames,” she said wryly.
“It will be a long three days.” He helped her brush down her skirts and straighten her gown. “I need to spend some time with Beth so she can get used to me. Shall I call in the morning and the three of us can take a drive in the park?”
“Beth will like that. We can also decide basic issues, such as where we’ll live.”
He placed a warm hand on the small of her back a
nd guided her toward the house, oyster shells crunching beneath their feet. “That’s a complicated question. You have Kelham Hall, I have Belmond Manor and several Romayne properties I’ve not even visited yet. I thought about going to Castle Romayne when I left London since it’s the family seat. Would you be willing to consider that as a wedding trip?”
“That would be interesting, but let’s put aside all practical thoughts till tomorrow.” She squeezed his arm. “Tonight I just want to be.”
Further tidying was required when they entered the house. Luckily no one was in the foyer. She brushed crushed grass from her skirt. “Good that we’re both wearing black. It shows less of what we’ve been doing.”
“I think most of the other guests will be indulgent since we’re just betrothed.” He crooked his elbow so she could take it. “The ball must be almost over. Shall we ascend and show all those interested people that we’ve come to terms?”
She tucked her hand around his arm. “In particular the loathsome Frederick. Perhaps now he’ll accept that it’s time to give up.”
“We may hope.” Daniel’s tone was not convinced. Neither was Jessie, but she couldn’t help but hope.
The musicians were striking up a waltz when they entered the ballroom. Mischief in his voice, Daniel said, “Shall we announce that we’re in harmony by dancing this waltz?”
Jessie’s first thought was for her state of mourning. Dancing would be scandalous.
Her second thought was yes! “Please! I love dancing, my lord Romayne.”
Smiling, Daniel drew her into waltz position and they swung into the music. His expression was positively lighthearted. She’d seen him smile and even occasionally laugh, but his underlying seriousness was always present.
Not tonight. He was happy, and it showed. A lock of dark blond hair fell across his forehead and he looked almost boyish. Yet with his height and broad shoulders, he was all desirable male. The passion they’d suppressed in the garden thrummed between them, deep and intoxicating. Only a few more days . . .
He was a superb dancer, with a skill born of practice, not just childhood lessons. Had he loved dancing with his lost Rose, then put it aside in favor of more serious pursuits after her death? That seemed like something he’d do. Saints weren’t usually known for being lighthearted.
She hadn’t been very lighthearted for a while herself, but tonight, she’d enjoy the magic of hope. She was putting herself and her daughter into the hands of a good man. Heavens, he’d be her third husband! She should have learned a few things by now.
Only her first marriage was the result of fervent declarations of love, and that had been a disaster. Philip had taught her that it was better to start with liking, respect, and a mutual desire to marry. That would give love a chance to grow. She and Daniel weren’t in love, but they liked each other, and there was certainly attraction. That was enough.
Daniel spun her around and she caught a glimpse of Lady Julia watching with a bright, approving expression. There were indulgent smiles on most other faces, but there were exceptions. The woman who had discovered them kissing was purse-mouthed and furious. No sign of Frederick, which was a relief.
Mariah gave Jessie a mischievous thumbs-up behind her husband’s back. Jessie threw her head back and laughed, held secure in Daniel’s strong arms as the ballroom lights spun around her. Tomorrow she’d worry about the changes and challenges of her life. But tonight, she danced.
Frederick Kelham managed to control his furious curses until the bitch and her latest gull had gone back into the house. It had been clear to anyone with eyes that when she’d claimed Romayne was going to marry her, it was the first Romayne had heard of it.
When he’d hauled Jezebel outside to talk to her, Frederick had shadowed them, sure that Romayne would denounce her. But no, the fool was another to fall for the bitch’s wiles. He really was going to marry her. The first thing she’d make him do was apply for guardianship of the brat. Romayne had powerful friends, too. Every time Frederick saw him, he was with a duke or an earl. Worse, his sister was married to Kirkland, who was known as a dangerous bastard.
Fighting down his fury, Frederick considered what else he’d heard. Interesting that she’d been married even before she’d come to York. She’d never told him that. Tonight she’d been vague about the first husband. Maybe he hadn’t died. Maybe she’d just run away and left her legal husband behind, which would mean her marriage to Uncle Philip was invalid and the brat was illegitimate.
That was probably too much to hope for, but it was worth investigating. He needed to know more about her than that she came from the West Country, though. Had she given Frederick her real name back in York when he’d asked her to marry him? Or had that been another lie? Hard to say, but the name was unusual enough that maybe he could track it down. Worth a try.
Mouth tight, Frederick left the garden and headed for home. He could and would learn more about the scheming slut who’d married his uncle. And when he did, there might be a way to take back what was his.
Laurel waited till the three of them were alone in the Kirkland coach before she pounced. “So you’re really going to marry Lady Kelham?”
Daniel settled in the backward-facing seat opposite his sister and her husband. “Apparently.” He couldn’t help himself, a broad grin spread over his face.
“Is that wise when you’ve only known her such a short time?”
“How long did you and Kirkland know each other before you were betrothed?” he countered.
Kirkland laughed as he clasped his wife’s hand. “About four hours, as I recall. I might have asked sooner, but I didn’t want to look too hasty.”
Laurel joined in the laughter. “Point taken. When one feels as we did, the usual measure of time doesn’t count. Love isn’t very patient.”
What would his romantic sister say if Daniel told her that his marriage was not based on love the way hers was? He suspected that one had to be very young to fall in love with that kind of absolute clarity and commitment. He’d loved Rose like that. Laurel and Kirkland had that kind of love also, or it wouldn’t have survived their ten-year estrangement.
But that was not a discussion he wanted to have with her. Laurel would be genuinely shocked. She’d probably also lecture him. Better to answer obliquely. “We are old enough to know our own minds, so there’s no reason to wait.”
Laurel didn’t notice what Daniel wasn’t saying, but Kirkland gave him a narrow-eyed glance. He noticed, but was less likely to lecture. Probably.
Laurel said, “Lady Kelham seems very down to earth even though she’s so amazingly beautiful.”
“Her beauty has been more bane than blessing,” Daniel said seriously. “That’s made her practical.”
“You were quite sure you didn’t want to marry a beautiful woman,” Laurel said mischievously. “Is it rational to change your mind?”
“How often have you known me to be irrational?” he asked, amused.
Laurel’s brows drew together. “I can’t think of any occasions offhand.”
“Sadly true,” Daniel said with self-deprecating humor. “Blameless rectitude is rather dull. I think it’s time I did something deeply irrational.”
“Marriage is a high-stakes game for experimenting with irrationality,” Kirkland said dryly. “Have you learned more about Lady Kelham’s origins?”
“Enough. There’s still much I don’t know, but we covered the important points.” At least, he hoped so.
“I find a certain sisterly pleasure in seeing how you ignored your original list of requirements for a wife,” Laurel said. “You didn’t insist on a woman of average looks, so I presume you also abandoned your plan to marry a land steward.”
“Not true. As her husband’s health declined, Jessie began helping with the estate management. Not only is she knowledgeable, but she actually enjoys such work.”
“You really did find your dream woman!” Laurel said admiringly. “And she has an adorable daughter as a bonus. When do
you plan to marry?”
“Very soon. There’s no point in waiting, so I’ll get a special license. Kirkland, will you stand up with me?”
“I’d be honored. I presume you’d prefer a church rather than a service here or at Ashton House.” Kirkland chuckled. “You’re both currently residing in the parish of St. George’s, Hanover Square, which you might find alarmingly fashionable, but there are other parishes nearby.”
Daniel hadn’t even thought about that yet. “I’ll put that on the list of things Jessie and I need to discuss tomorrow morning.”
“Milton Manor might be a pleasant place for a honeymoon,” Laurel said. “Since James’s seat is in Scotland, he bought the manor as an easy country escape. It’s only about an hour from London. Wonderfully private.”
“That’s a good thought,” Kirkland said. “You’ve both been very busy in London. Milton Manor is peaceful. A place where you can relax and enjoy each other’s company without interruption.”
“Something else to discuss with Jessie.” Daniel frowned. “Does one take a child on one’s honeymoon? Marriage is becoming more complicated by the minute!”
“I’d be happy to have Beth for a few days, but I’d have to fight Mariah and Julia for the privilege. They both dote on her.” Laurel rested her hand on her expanding abdomen. “I like that our baby will have a sweet girl cousin to look up to.”
It was a sharp reminder that marriage wasn’t just two people, but two families coming together. If Daniel was making a mistake to marry a woman who still held too many mysteries, the damage would go beyond him and Jessie.
Which was a rational thought. And he still didn’t feel the least bit rational where Jessie Kelham was involved.
Chapter 17
Daniel said his good nights and retired to his chamber as soon as they returned to Kirkland House, but he was too excited to sleep. After stripping off his jacket and cravat, he poured a glass of claret and paced the room as he took occasional sips.