* * *
When I got back to Wemsley, my mom told me that my girlfriend had called. Mom loved to call Katie your girlfriend because she could see that it made me uncomfortable. She was such a card.
“What’ch doing?” Katie asked when I called back.
“Just taking care of business,” I said.
“You’re busy?”
“Nope. Business is done for the day. I’m free now.”
“Oh,” she said, “because I was wondering what we were doing tonight.”
A few days ago, I had mentioned a movie but she sounded like she had something else in mind. “You mean besides a movie?” I asked
“More like instead of a movie,” she said.
I wasn’t surprised that she didn’t want to go to a movie again, but I couldn’t think of anything else to suggest. “Did you have something different in mind?”
“It’s a lovely afternoon,” she said. “If you have time, I thought that we might get out of town. Maybe ride up to Watertown. They have more places to eat up there than down here around Wemsley.”
My heart leapt. Places to eat? There were a lot of restaurants that were a lot closer that Watertown. Surely that wasn’t what she really meant. The last time that Katie had mentioned Watertown, she had also mentioned getting a motel room. Was that what she had in mind for tonight? “Okay.” I didn’t want to say more for fear that she would hear my voice quavering.
“Okay. I’ll be home any time you’re ready to go.”
“I’ll be over in five minutes,” I said.
I was.
I didn’t know what I felt. Hope that my unfortunate condition of virginity was about to be cured. Fear that I was being set up for disappointment. Terror that I wouldn’t be able to do it right. More than all of those, though, was puzzlement. Why would she want to do it with me? I was the one who had failed to protect her when the Road Snakes were going to force themselves on her. She couldn’t really want to do it with me now. Not after that wretched show.
Maybe she was setting me up for her revenge. Maybe she was going to get me all hot and bothered and then drop me like a cold fish.
I deserved no better than that.
When I picked her up, she was carrying a large leather purse over her shoulder. Before she mounted the bike behind me, she slipped the strap over her head so that it was crosswise across her body with her purse held snuggly between her elbow and waist.
She grabbed me around the middle and whispered in my ear, “Let’s go to Watertown.”
I had never heard more exciting or terrifying words in my life than Let’s go to Watertown. I revved the engine and released the clutch, almost but not quite burning rubber.
Watertown was a two-hour drive and I didn’t try to make it any shorter by speeding. I had no intention of getting stopped by the highway patrol. Not again. Not when I had Katie on the back.
All the way there, I felt her breasts pressed against me, her thighs rubbing against my hips, her hands squeezing my chest, her head resting on my shoulder.
All that stimulation didn’t keep me from thinking about what we were doing. I had more questions than answers. As we neared the outskirts, I made a decision. I wasn’t going to take her to any motel until I had some answers. At least, to my most pressing questions.
I needed to know where Katie and I stood.
“Where would you like to eat?” I shouted back at her.
“Anywhere.”
That was no help. I didn’t have any experience with restaurants in Watertown. I’d only passed through on the way to Canada once when I was about eight and we hadn’t stopped until we were on the Canadian side of the border. Most of our family trips had been in the other direction, to New York or Washington.
When we got downtown, I slowed the bike to a leisurely pace and said, “Tell me if anything catches your eye.”
“I saw a motel a couple miles back on the highway,” she said.
That removed any doubt about why she had wanted to come here, but it still left me with too many questions.
“We should eat, first,” I said.
“If you want.” She sounded disappointed.
I spied a sign that said, “Betty’s Family Diner” and slowed down even more. Peering through the big glass windows, I thought that the restaurant looked a lot like Elsa’s Grill. That was good enough for me.
“How about here?” I asked.
“Okay.” Her voice was faint, but I wanted to take her at her word.
Inside, Betty’s smelled like Elsa’s. Not romantic, but familiar. I wanted the comfort of something familiar. I asked the waitress – a blond, slightly older version of Gwen – for a table for two.
“Anywhere you want.” She waved her hand vaguely at the half-empty front.
It was exactly what Gwen would have done.
I led Katie to a booth in the corner, as far from anyone else as possible.
I couldn’t think how to start the conversation that I needed to have and she showed little interest in talking to me, so we said little while we looked at our menus and gave the waitress our orders.
I had the chicken dinner, complete with half a chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, and coleslaw. It came with coffee or tea and a slice of pie – apple or lemon meringue – for dessert.
Katie ordered a green salad a la carte and a glass of water.
The silence was awkward but neither of us knew how to break it.
The longer it lasted, the harder it was to think of something to say.
By the time our food was served, I knew that I was never going to be able to talk to Katie again.
She nibbled a bit of lettuce.
“You’re beautiful,” I blurted out.
Her head rocked back as though I’d struck her.
“Thanks,” she said after digesting my comment for a moment.
She nibbled another bit of lettuce and I ripped a drumstick from my half chicken.
“I understand,” she said.
I looked at her. She looked like she was holding back tears. “I don’t,” I said. “I don’t understand at all. Maybe you can explain it to me.”
“I know you don’t want me,” she said. “Don’t humiliate me more by making me tell you why.”
I dropped my drumstick. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I want you more than anything in the world. You don’t want me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said. “Of course I want you. Why do you think I asked you to bring me up here?”
“I don’t know why. That’s what I don’t understand. You can’t still want me.”
“Why not?”
Now it was me who was humiliated by having to explain why I was unworthy. “Because of the Road Snakes. You know.”
“No, I don’t,” she said. “It’s because of them that you can’t want me any more. You saw me with them. You saw me take off my blouse for them. You know what I was going to do. With all of them. You know what kind of girl I’d have to be to do that.”
“They would have forced you.”
“Then I should have made them force me.”
“You would have been hurt. You did the right thing. How can you think that you were anything less than perfect?”
“I should have fought them, not caved in.”
“It’s me that should have fought them,” I said. “It’s me that just sat there and let them do that to you. I would have kept sitting there and letting them do whatever they wanted. I–”
“You did what you could. If you’d tried to fight off all of them, they would have killed you. You didn’t have any choice.” She shook her head. “No, that’s not right. You had a choice. You could have stayed outside. You could have jumped on your bike and ridden away and left me there. They told you that you could leave and you didn’t. You could have left any time. But you didn’t. You stayed with me. No matter what, you were going to stay and help me as much as you could. I’ll never forget that. You were so brave. You even stood up to the
m and told them that I was your girlfriend. You were never going to run out on me. You were going to stay there for as long as you had to. And you got me out of there as soon as you had a chance. You saved me. I’ll never forget what you did for me.” A tear trickled down her cheek. “You’re my knight in shining armor.”
My world was turned upside down. I couldn’t believe that Katie had thought me brave for what I had done, but she was right. I could have left her at any time but hadn’t even considered it. That wasn’t what a door gunner did.
I leaned across the table and smudged the tear away with my finger. “You’re my lady. My perfect lady.”
“I want…” She smiled through her tears. “I want you.”
“I want you so bad, it hurts,” I said.
“Let’s get this stuff packed up to go.”
I waved at the waitress. “We need the check and a box to go.”
She brought both right away. I think she understood what was happening. She had that kind of smile on her face. A knowing smile. A Gwen kind of smile.