He leaned in closer. “How do I live with it?”
“You take one day at a time, and you allow yourself to heal. Stop holding on to the grief so tightly. Make friends. Find something to fill your time. Realize that life goes on, even when you think it shouldn’t. You are alive. I’m alive. We’re here. Embrace that.”
He blinked back tears and straightened. “Ask for a job to do and find purpose?”
“That’s a great start.”
He nodded, looking away. “I should take you back.”
Dana reached over and held his hand. He didn’t pull away. “Why don’t we just sit here for a bit? Do you want to be alone?”
“No.”
She didn’t either. She laced her fingers with his. “Next time we need to find a more comfortable place though.” She adjusted her ass on the wood bench. “Or I’ll bring pillows.”
He glanced at her and arched an eyebrow. “A pillow?”
“To use as a cushion for these seats.”
He smiled. “Humans are too used to comfort.”
“That’s not a bad thing.”
* * * * *
Mourn leaned against the tree, watching Dana climb into bed. They’d spent a few hours together, and he’d enjoyed just sitting with her. It had even been nice to speak of 139. The human hadn’t judged him or been horrified by his words. They came from different lives. He’d expected issues to arise.
A soft noise alerted him and he turned his head, watching Darkness step closer. “I didn’t want to startle you,” the male admitted.
“I’m not going to harm Dana.”
“Just watch her?”
“Don’t you have a mate to sleep with? Doesn’t she wonder where you are?”
“She knows where I am, and that I’m keeping my eye on you. Is Paul’s sister fascinating?”
“She doesn’t sleep much either.”
Darkness turned his head, to follow Mourn’s gaze. “She’s reading a book. What is the title?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t want to get that close.”
The male leaned on the other side of the tree and crossed his arms. “You took her away for a bit. Where did you go?”
“To talk.” Mourn stiffened. “You had Security searching for us?”
“No. I watched you return her. She looked unharmed and I don’t smell her fear coming off you.”
“I’m not going to hurt her.”
“She lost her mate too. Does talking help?”
Mourn debated answering. Darkness could make Dana leave Homeland or send him to the Wild Zone. “Yes. She understands.”
“Good.”
He relaxed, the answer was non-threatening. His calm evaporated when Darkness spoke again.
“Do you plan to stalk her every night?”
“I’m not stalking her. I’m watching over her.”
“She’s in no danger.”
“I don’t wish to go home yet.”
“I hated staring at ceilings too.”
Mourn snapped his head in the direction of the male, studying him.
Darkness held his gaze and nodded. “I’ve been there and done that. I will give you a warning though.”
“I won’t harm Dana.” He growled low, offended.
“I believe that. Calm your ass down or she’s going to hear you. Humans don’t have our senses, but get any louder and she won’t be able to miss it. Her television isn’t on to mute outside noises. My warning is that the last time I became fascinated with a human, I ended up mated to her. I have no regrets because it was the best thing to happen to me, but it came as a shock. I’m giving you a heads-up.”
“No one would mate with me. I’m damaged.”
“I used to say that too. Then Kat came into my life. She healed me when I didn’t think that was possible. Stop fighting with other males.” He jerked his head toward Paul’s home. “She might become a reason for you to want to live.”
“A human?” Mourn shook his head. “We are too different.”
“She lost her mate. You have a lot in common with her, more so than with any of our females.” Darkness inched a little closer. “Have you considered sharing sex with her?”
“No.”
“Perhaps you should.”
Mourn pushed away from the tree and faced the male head on. “Why are you saying this to me?”
“You spent most of your life with a mate. I did my research on Paul’s sister. She met her mate young, as you did yours. She is used to sleeping with a male, as you are used to having a female in your arms. You both have emptiness inside. Fill the spaces together. It makes sense.”
“She’s human.”
“So is my mate. It works.” Darkness smiled. “The differences between us makes it a challenge, but the kind to be enjoyed.”
“She did say she was thinking about finding a male.” Mourn considered it. He could talk to Dana. He liked her. A memory of her crawling onto the bed the night before flashed through his mind. He was attracted to her.
“We’re better than human males.” Darkness sounded certain.
“Dana had no complaints about her mate. She loved him. He was good to her.”
“So be better.” Darkness lowered his voice. “Humans don’t have our advantages.”
“We’re stronger and loyal. We don’t carry sexual diseases or get sick.”
“That’s not what I meant, but those are valid points. I’m talking about sex.”
“We’re larger and have more stamina.”
Darkness chuckled. “Do you know what a vibrator is? A human sex toy?”
Mourn shook his head. “No.”
“You haven’t watched human porn?”
“No.” He scowled. “I had no interest in human sex.”
“Good. You’re already ahead of a lot of our males who’ve seen that garbage. It’s a bad representation of what human males fantasize about, rather than the females. A lot of females find it offensive. Go down on her and purr. Don’t hold back. They love the vibrations from our tongues. Human men can’t do that without toys. Just be aware that they try to slam their thighs closed. They aren’t used to that much sensation. It’s overpowering for them, but pin her thighs open and keep going until she climaxes. Her male couldn’t do that.”
“They like to be licked?”
“Licked, sucked, and then mounted. Have her face you.” He paused. “Just enter her slowly at first. They are damn tight because most human males aren’t our size.”
Mourn’s dick stirred just thinking about it. It had been a long time since he’d shared sex. Dana had a nice backside. Her hands were soft. He could adjust to their differences. “How do I get her to agree to share sex with me?”
Darkness straightened and dropped his arms to his sides. “They appreciate our bodies. We’re fit. Kat swears we have muscles that make females very aware of us.” He reached down, gripped the hem of his shirt and yanked it up to just under his nipples. He tightened his stomach and pointed. “Those especially. Kat enjoys running her hands across my abs.”
“I just flash her my stomach? That sounds easy.”
“It’s a little more complicated than that. Do you know how you approach our females for sharing sex?”
“Be blunt, tell them what we want and show our strength.”
“Forget that. Don’t tell her you’d like to bend her over in front of you. Humans don’t usually respond well to that much honesty.” Darkness paused, obviously thinking. “Are you meeting her tomorrow night?”
“Yes.”
“I have a plan.”
“What is it?”
Darkness smiled.
Chapter Four
Dana closed the slider and stepped out onto the patio, glancing around, looking for Mourn. He immediately advanced from the shadows beneath a tree. She smiled, walking right up to the wall that separated them. He reached for her waist and lifted, placing her down on the other side.
He smiled back, reminding her how handsome was. His mood seemed cheerf
ul too. “What did you do today?”
“I hung out with Becky. She wanted me to watch a bunch of girl movies with her.”
“That sounds interesting.”
“They were romances.” Dana cringed. “Those aren’t my favorite kind of films, but it made Becky happy. I liked a few of the storylines that were funny.”
He bent and she expected it when he lifted her into his arms. She didn’t protest or point out that she’d worn shoes and could walk on her own. When he entered the park, she asked, “Are we going back to the shed?”
“No. I thought we’d go back to the tree. I did put a cushion on the bench for next time.”
“That was so thoughtful.”
He stopped and bent, setting her on the lowest branch. He crouched. “We could go there if you wish. I just thought it was such a nice night. Did you notice the almost-full moon?” He pointed up at the sky.
“It is beautiful. I love how clearly you can see the sky here at Homeland. I live in a pretty well-lit area so I don’t get to see as many stars.”
He chuckled. “Homeland is great, but there aren’t a lot of places we can go. I live in the men’s dorm. You are staying at Paul’s. It’s hard for us to find privacy.”
“That’s okay. I’m just glad we can talk every night.”
“Me too. It gives me something to look forward to.”
She’d grown to look forward to it too, and would have been disappointed if he hadn’t shown up. A slight click sounded and she turned her head, looking for the source. The sprinklers suddenly came on. She gasped as cold water doused her. Mourn shot to his feet and bent, scooping her into his arms.
It didn’t keep her from getting wet. He had to be getting soaked too. She tucked her head against his shoulder and hugged him around his neck as he carried her away.
“Hang on,” he urged.
So much for our talk. He’d have to take her home so she could change clothes. He stopped and freed one arm and then tilted her in his hold. She lifted her head when she heard the sound of a door close, and the sprinkler noise died down. It was pitch dark until he shifted, probably using his elbow to hit the switch for the light. She peered around. They were in the shed.
“Are you okay?”
She laughed. “Yes. Did they change the timer? I hear them come on from my room, but it’s usually right before dawn.”
He put her down and stepped back. His jeans were plastered to his legs. “Someone must have changed the timer setting. You’re wet.”
“So are you.” She noticed his forehead. “You do heal fast.” He just had a slight bruise there and the cut was almost entirely gone.
He stepped around her and reached up onto a top shelf along a wall that held sports equipment. He faced her. “I’ll close my eyes. Strip and put this around you.”
Dana studied the silky material. It had a wolf head printed on it. Her gaze shifted to Mourn. “Is that a flag?”
“Yes. There are more. I’ll wrap one around my waist. I want to talk to you.”
“You could just take me back to Paul’s. We could go inside and I could use the dryer for our clothes.”
“Your brother won’t welcome me inside his home.”
“He’s sleeping.”
“I’d rather not risk it. You’re safe here. I’d never hurt you.”
The serious look in his eyes made her feel safe. Mourn wasn’t like other men. Not only was he grieving the loss of the woman he loved, he’d never made her feel uncomfortable. “Turn around.”
He spun. She bent and tugged off her canvas slip-ons and just tossed them into the corner. She removed her leggings and T-shirt. Her bra and panties were only slightly damp. She debated, but removed them too. The flag was larger than she’d suspected when she unfolded it and wrapped it, toga style, around her middle.
“I’m decent.”
“My turn.” He faced her. “Close your eyes.”
She presented him with her back. It felt strange to be in a small building, mostly undressed. It wasn’t something she’d normally do, but she did trust that Mourn wouldn’t do anything untoward. He still remained a bit skittish of their budding friendship, and she needed to keep that in mind. He might not return if he escorted her back to Paul’s to change her clothes. She’d rather stay in the shed with him for a bit than face the guest bedroom alone until sleep came.
“I told Paul I wanted to hang out with him this week.” It was a safe topic to discuss.
“Did you tell him we are talking?” Mourn dropped something wet on the floor, probably his shirt or pants.
“No. I respected your wishes. I know you don’t want him to know we’re spending time together. Our mother called today. I used that as a reason to extend my stay.”
“How is she a reason?”
“She’s forever trying to set me up with men. It happened again. She made a date for me on Thursday night. I told Paul I wanted to stay longer so I could tell her I’d still be out of town.”
“Who is the male?” His voice deepened slightly.
“Some son of a friend of hers whom I’ve never met. He’s thirty-five and lives with his mommy. No thanks. I didn’t need to hear any more than that to know it wouldn’t work out.”
“He’s an adult male. I thought humans left home after they finished their schooling.”
“They are supposed to, but some men enjoy being pampered by their mothers a little too much. I’m betting that is the case with this one. He’s probably looking for a woman who can do everything his mother does, plus have sex with him. That’s not going to be me.”
“That’s strange.”
“Some people are.”
“I’m covered.”
Dana turned and had to seal her lips. Mourn wore a flag wrapped around his waist, but the expanse of his muscled chest, stomach and arms was an onslaught she had not been prepared for. It had been dark enough in the park the night he’d lent her his shirt that she hadn’t gotten a really good look. The light inside the shed revealed every inch of him in detail. He had the best body she’d ever seen. He looked even bigger and more impressive in the small, enclosed space. The only flaws were a few bruises from the fight he’d been in, and his bandaged arm. The one on his leg was gone, and the wound looked as if it had happened a week or so ago instead of just a matter of days. It impressed her.
He smiled. “We’re dry.”
He’d said something, and it took a second for his words to sink in. She lifted her gaze to stare at his face. “Yes, we are.”
He inched closer and sat on the padded seat. “Are you cold? Species have a hotter body temperature than humans. You could sit on my lap and I’ll keep you warm.”
She swallowed hard, staring at his body again. “Um…” Just imagining that made her cheeks feel flushed. He made it worse when he opened his arms, indicating he actually meant it.
“I won’t hurt you, Dana.”
The way he softened his tone and peered at her with those beautiful eyes actually lured her an unconscious step closer. “Um…” She didn’t even know how to respond. It wasn’t proper. She’d never gotten that close to a half-naked guy before, except Tommy.
“It’s okay,” he urged. “Come here.”
She wanted to. That was the confusing part. He leaned forward a little, keeping eye contact. She didn’t perceive a threat there, but couldn’t discount his size or strength. Any other guy would have had her fleeing from the shed.
“I miss holding someone. Let me put my arms around you.”
Those whispered, hoarse words were the temptation she couldn’t resist. Her heart raced but she inched closer, uncertain how to gracefully take a seat. Mourn didn’t seem to have that problem. He just reached out and gently maneuvered her until she found her ass resting over one of his thighs and her legs bent over his other one. She sat sideways and he hugged her closer, his arms wrapped around her in a gentle embrace.
They were both tense, but he relaxed first. The hard muscles under her butt softened slightly and h
e snuggled her against his chest. She leaned her head to the side a little until her cheek rested near his heart. She could hear it beating almost as fast as her own. That made her feel better. She took a deep breath, blew it out, and forced the tension out of her body.
“This is nice.” He shifted a little. “You’re so small.”
He was really big, but she didn’t comment on that. “You are warm.” He felt feverish again, a reminder of when she’d first held his hand in Medical.
“You smell good.”
She had to clear her throat. “Thank you.”
“Do I?”
It was probably the strangest interaction she’d had with a man, but he was New Species, and they were very straightforward. Dana inhaled, closing her eyes. “Yes.” He carried a manly scent, not overpowering but pleasant. He sure was different from Morgan, her coworker, who loved to douse on cologne until she could almost taste it.
“See? You’re safe with me.”
“I trust you.” It was true. They had a lot in common. He had told her his mate was the only woman he’d ever had sex with. It wasn’t as if he were some guy putting the moves on her. He was probably as inept as she would be at making sexual advances.
He brushed his cheek against her head, a light caress. “Warmer?”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
She struggled to think of something to say. The first thing that popped into her head came bursting out. “What did you do today?”
“I asked for an assignment.”
It distracted her from her awareness of him as a man, and that she was held in his arms. “What happened? Did they give you a job?”
“They refuse to allow me to work anywhere near humans, but said I could patrol the interior of Homeland. I took a shift.”
“How did that go?”
“It wasn’t bad. I made some Species nervous but they spoke to me.”
“Why were they nervous?”
“They expected me to start fights but I didn’t.”
“What do you do on patrol?” She shifted on his lap and got a little more comfortable.
“I entered each building to see if everyone was all right. I was on duty for four hours to test how I’d work out. No one complained so Fury said I could do it again tomorrow. My shift starts at noon.”