Ben, back to your position.
JASMINE: (To Jill, as Ben takes up position) I don't know! People can be so gullible.
JILL: Look at the little hussy!
FERGUS: Quiet please. (Julie places hip flask on chair, left, then takes her position)
JULIE: (Going into role perfectly) What's here? A cup, closed in my true love's hand? Poison, I see hath been his timeless end. 0 churl! Drunk all, and left no friendly drop, to help me after? I will kiss thy lips. Haply some poison yet doth hang on them To make me die with a restorative. (Kisses him) Thy lips are warm.
FERGUS: Lead, boy. Which way?
JULIE: Yea noise? then I'll be brief. 0 happy dagger. (Mimes taking dagger from Ben) This is my sheath; (stabs herself) There rust and let me die. (Falls on Romeo's body and dies)
FERGUS: (Applauding) Bravo. I think I've seen enough now.
JILL: What! You don't mean that auditions are over?
JASMINE: But you haven't given us a proper chance.
FERGUS: I've given you all the chance you deserve.
JILL: I see. You mean you'll be giving her the part because you believed her lies about us.
FERGUS: No, I'll be giving her the role because she deserves it.
JASMINE: But why not me? I put more feeling into it than she does.
JILL: You can't give her the part. I've more acting ability in my little finger.... Why her?
FERGUS: Because this young lady has the very quality that I think Shakespeare wanted to be brought out in Juliet.
JASMINE: (Sarcastically) And what's that?
FERGUS: Niceness. (Jill and Jasmine pull a face at each other) The quality of niceness is not strained. Niceness is all. Romeo and Juliet are basically just a couple of really nice kids. If they were a couple of tearaways, no one would care about them snuffing it. That's the tragedy of the whole thing. It's saying there's no place in the world for a couple of really nice kids
JILL: I've never heard anything so stupid.
FERGUS: Well, of course, it's natural that you're a bit put out at not getting the part. (To Jill and Jasmine) Look - If you take my advice, you'll find yourself something easier than this. Why don't you look for a nice amateur comedy production? That way, when you make fools of yourselves, no one'll notice the difference. Anyway, I'd better be going. I've got auditions for Romeo tomorrow night. (Heads for exit)
BEN: I'll see you there, then, Uncle Fergus.
FERGUS: What for? Were you planning on reading the Juliet parts? It's all right, we've found our Juliet now. (To Julie) You'll be able to make it tomorrow night, won't you?
JULIE: Of course.
(Director exits left.)
JILL: I think I'm going to be sick. (Looking at Julie)
JASMINE: Niceness is all! Miss Goody Two Shoes.
JILL: Come on, Jasmine. I've had a gutful here. Let's go up to the Pizza Bar. I'm starving. (To Julie) You'd better run along. Mummy'll be expecting you.
JULIE: Well, it is getting rather late.
JASMINE: (To Ben) Coming Ben?
BEN: In a minute. I'll catch up. I ...er... told my Uncle I'd do a couple of things here first.
(Jill and Jasmine exchange glances and exit.)
Julie ...er... I was thinking.
JULIE: Yes?
BEN: I'm really sorry about that joke we played on you.
JULIE: That's all right, Ben. It worked out all right in the end.
BEN: I know, but I still feel terrible about it. I'm genuine about that. I'm not genuine about many things, especially when it comes to girls. But you're a really nice person, and I felt lousy for playing that trick on you.
JULIE: That's nice of you to say it. But really, it's all right.
BEN: You know, I was thinking....
JULIE: Yes?
BEN: We really worked well together out there on the stage.
JULIE: Yes, we did.
BEN: It would be really nice if we could keep working on this play together.
JULIE: I suppose it would.
BEN: Uncle Fergus really liked you. If you dropped the word that you liked acting with me, it might carry some weight.
JULIE: (Thoughtfully) Yes, it might.
BEN: So, what about it?
JULIE: Mm, yes, I'll definitely think about it.
BEN: And Julie, I mean, I don't know how it is with your parents and everything, I mean, about going out with boys...
JULIE: Yes?
BEN: But if it was possible, would you go out with me this Saturday? We could go to a play, or an opera, or something really educational.
JULIE: Well, Ben, that's really nice of you to ask. You're a really nice boy, and it sounds like a really nice idea. But there's only one problem.
(Enter Bikie, left. He stands at exit.)
BEN: (Not seeing him) What's that?
JULIE: I really just can't stand niceness.
BIKIE: You ready, spunk? The Gang's all waiting. Let's go and party.
JULIE: Take me home first, so I can change out of this daggy gear. The things we do to make an impression. See you, Ben.
(Julie and Bikie exit. Bikie hands Julie a helmet, and throws Ben a kiss on the way out. Ben stands there scratching his head. Then he sees his Uncle's hip flask on the chair. He goes to it, takes it up in a theatrical pose.)
BEN: Here's to my love! (Pretends to drink) 0 true Apothecary! Thy drugs are quick! (Gasping and falling) Thus with a kiss I die. (Throws kiss to audience and dies)
CURTAIN
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