~ ~ ~
Lindsay finished up her shift in the grocery store and went to the back to punch out. The cashier job was easy and the customers were all known to her. Mr. Merriman wasn’t demanding. She was content to serve out the summer as a cashier for her room and board. She had enough extra money from her mother for whatever she needed.
Lance moved in with her and took her mom’s old room. He was a comfort to her these last weeks before graduation. They didn’t argue about her staying here anymore. She allowed him to think he won the argument. It was far from resolved. She got used to wearing the wire, never knowing whether Cameron or his friends would approach her at the store. By now everyone knew she worked at Merriman’s.
The harassment was nonstop. Phone calls began in the middle of the night with warnings and insults. The tires were cut on the station wagon and somebody spray painted the words ‘narc’ all over it in neon pink paint. Lance got it off, luckily. Dead rats were left on the doorstep of the apartment. Kids came into the store and made no bones about what they thought of her, taunting her as they came through the check out. One guy even spit in her face before Merriman tossed him out.
Marnie came in one night and looked a bit surprised to see her still working there. Lindsay hadn’t seen her since they went to see the sheriff. She was still angry she threw her under the bus with Cameron, even though she understood. The girl was dealing with the same kind of treatment. They had that much in common now.
Her hazel eyes were wary as she approached, handing her a five dollar bill. Lindsay eyed the junk food the girl bought and said nothing. It wasn’t her place to lecture her about what she ate during her pregnancy. She scanned her items and bagged them up.
“I expected to see you a couple of weeks ago,” the girl had said, looking a bit guilty to know she sold her out to Cameron. “I’m sorry, but I’m scared.”
“Marnie, I know why you can’t get involved in this. I respect that,” Lindsay allowed under her breath, aware of other shoppers. “I just worried about you.”
She seemed surprised to think Lindsay worried about her. “He was mad but he thinks it’s all you. I didn’t correct him.”
“I don’t mind. Do what you have to do to stay safe.”
“Lindsay, if I were you, I’d be mad at me.”
“You have a baby to look out for. I understand why you said what you did. I also have my brother and my family, you don’t. I don’t blame you for looking out for yourself.”
She looked relieved. “I can tell you one thing; he’s out for your blood. Don’t ever second guess what Cam will do, Lindsay. He wants payback.”
“My brother is here until after graduation. I’m not worried about it.”
Marnie took her bagged purchases and paused before she left. “I’m glad your brother is with you right now. Tell Lance I said hello.”
Lindsay recalled a wistful expression in Marnie’s eyes when she mentioned Lance. She knew her brother had broken his share of hearts in Little Bend. He had girlfriends, but nothing meaningful or lasting.
The suspicion the pair were more than a little acquainted was reinforced when she told Lance what Marnie said and saw him stiffen and refuse to meet her eyes. It was obvious he and Marnie had a relationship in the past, before she got with Cameron.
Lance pulled a drunken Everett Turner out of Hooligan’s twice that week and took him home to Addie Pank’s apartment. The woman now wanted her barfly boyfriend out because he didn’t have an income after losing his kids to the state.
Lindsay knew Lance worried over more than just her these days. He still hadn’t told her he knew he was Everett’s son. To her knowledge he hadn’t even seen their father. She knew Margene had to have seen him at Hooligan’s.
She let herself into the apartment. Lance wasn’t there but he would be home soon. He was starting to annoy her with his protectiveness. She felt more than safe; she felt stifled. Graduation commencements were three weeks away. Cameron left her alone. His friends and the kids from school did his dirty work, making her miserable.
The word was out. Lindsay was being openly dubbed a narc. The kids in town learned fast Mr. Merriman wouldn’t tolerate their harassing his cashier. He ran off more than a few kids that first week she worked there. He didn’t seem to mind or blame her for being targeted by them. He didn’t ask her why they turned on her. He didn’t ask much of anything.
Lance came home shortly after, an aggravated look on his face. “What is it?”
“I think you should sit down. You may as well hear this from me,” he said and his brown eyes filled with regret. “Margene and Dad are getting married.”
Lindsay looked stunned. True, she knew her father lost his mind over Margene, but marriage? Thoughts of how her mother would react were swiftly dismissed. Deborah and Jack were like newlyweds since they moved in together.
“The divorce isn’t final for another month,” she commented sourly.
Lance laughed sarcastically. “We have a brother or sister on the way.”
Lindsay gasped. “No way! Margene is pregnant?”
Lance looked away and tensed. “She’s nearly six months along, Lindsay. You may as well know it could be mine.”
“We have to tell Dad,” Lindsay insisted and Lance shook his head.
“No, we stay out of it. Dad is a big boy. Look what he did to Mom? He doesn’t deserve to know as far as I’m concerned. What’s he done for you since he kicked you and Mom out?”
“We moved out. He didn’t kick us out,” Lindsay replied in defense of her father.
“Whatever. He hasn’t exactly done much for you since.”
Lindsay saw the remorse in Lance’s expression. “Can you let it go?”
“I saw her when I was in Hooligan’s and she told me. I told her I didn’t want to know if it’s mine. She agreed to stay quiet.”
“Not knowing will still make you wonder.”
“I’m not ready to be a father, Lindsay. I wasn’t serious about Margene,” he disclosed in obvious discomfort.
“That seems to be going around,” she added sourly, thinking of Marnie’s situation.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing, just forget I said anything.”
He looked incensed. “No, just spit it out. I want to know what you meant.”
“It’s not fair to keep a secret like that, Lance. It could come out one day. What about the kid? Do you think that’s fair? Besides that, I’m not real happy to know my niece or nephew could be raised as a half-brother or sister, not to mention you would deny our mother her grandchild,” Lindsay finished and looked at him sadly. “Just step up and do the right thing.”
“That won’t go over well with Dad.”
“At least he knows the truth. If he still wants to marry Margene, at least he goes into it with his eyes wide open. Marnie Slade is pregnant too. You might as well know it could be Jace’s. Trust me, I know how this feels,” Lindsay confided and looked miserable. “He died before he could do the right thing. She’s having it and isn’t sure whose it is.”
Lance looked stunned and upset. “That doesn’t sound like Jace to fool around on you.”
“It was only one time and I have to forgive the circumstances,” she said tightly and refused to explain.
“I wouldn’t make a good father, Lindsay,” Lance argued once more.
“How do you know that?” she challenged and shook her head. “You don’t know what kind of a parent you’ll be. Just tell Dad before he makes the mistake of marrying Margene. The thought of her as my stepmother makes me sick.”
Lance laughed. “Come on, Lindsay. She’s not that bad.”
“She goes out of her way to keep Dad away from us and you say that?”
“Lindsay, we both know Dad does what he wants. Don’t make excuses for him. If he cared to see us and be in our lives, Margene wouldn’t have anything to say about it. You can’t blame her for it.”
“Be a man and do the right thing,” she a
dvised and regarded him with compassion. “Don’t let a kid go through life not knowing who his or her real father is.”
Lance got real quiet after their talk. Lindsay thought he meant to confide in her finally and was disappointed when he didn’t. He left after that on some errand. She hoped he went to their dad and confessed to his affair with Margene. They had enough drama in their lives as it was.
She contented herself with being alone, but thoughts of Jace soon had her upset. She held it together enough to get through the day, but missing him never felt more acute when she was alone. The phone rang and she forced aside her brooding and answered it. It was her mom.
“Hi honey. Just called to see how your day was.”
“It was fine. Everything is going good. How are Dougie and Sara settling in?” she asked, unwilling to put a damper on her mother’s happiness by telling her that she was close to falling apart every second of the day.
“Good, I think this is going to work,” she said in relief. “They’re good kids. I have to say one thing; Jace did a heck of a job with them. They do what their told, no sassing, and no arguments.”
“Yeah, Jace did a good job,” she agreed with a forlorn note in her voice.
“Lindsay, if you want to come by and talk; I’m here. I know all of this is hard on you.”
“I just miss him, Mom.”
“It’ll get better; I promise you,” she was saying, but Lindsay was no longer listening. Tears coursed down her face.
She managed to finish the conversation and said she would be by tomorrow for dinner and hung up, choking on raw sobs of anguish. She went to her room and lay down, curling onto her side to stare at the wall. Would it ever end? Each day began and ended with missing Jace so fiercely, she wondered how she could function.
She woke and the room was dark. Sitting up she glanced at the digital bedside clock, alarmed to see it was after nine in the evening. Feeling hungry, she got up and investigated the kitchen.
Her mom stocked up the kitchen for her and Lance before she moved but she couldn’t find anything that sounded good. Settling for a peanut butter sandwich; she went outside and sat on the stairs. Lance wasn’t home and the parking lot was empty except for the station wagon.
Lindsay hugged her knees as she waited for Lance. She knew he was rescuing Everett from Hooligan’s as he did every night since his return. He seemed to think it was his job now that Jace was gone; keeping up with Everett and seeing him home.
Relief was felt when she saw Lance’s silver sedan pull in next to the station wagon. Her brother got out and smiled up at her.
“Wanna go get a pizza?”
“Too late; I had peanut butter,” she called.
“Keep me company?”
Lindsay was nervous about going to the bowling alley, knowing it was where everyone hung out on the weekend. She reminded herself nobody would dare mess with her with Lance with her.
“Sure, I’ll just be a minute,” she said and got up. She returned inside and checked her appearance, horrified to see she was a mess. She combed her hair and put it in a ponytail and fixed her make-up. She slid on a pair of leather sandals and locked up, meeting her brother at his car.
“I was just about to come after you,” he lamented. “I’m starving.”
“Sorry,” she apologized as she got into his car. “I took a long nap and looked horrible.”
Lance started the car and looked over at her. “I told Dad the truth.”
Lindsay eyed him in surprise. “What did he say?”
“He doesn’t believe me. He told me I was a piece of crap and no son of his.”
“I’m so sorry, Lance.”
“Why? It’s true, Lindsay. I’m not his son and he’s always known it. Everett Turner is my father. I overheard them arguing before Dad filed for divorce. He claims he’s a stand up guy for raising another man’s kid.”
“Mom told me after Jace died. Are you ok about it?”
He drove through town and said nothing for several minutes. “I wish I would have known. All those years I couldn’t get his approval and felt like he didn’t care about me, and now I know why.”
“I thought you were close to Dad,” Lindsay replied.
“Yeah, we did all that father and son stuff, but I knew it was just for show.”
“What’s going to happen now?”
“He claims he’s marrying Margene.”
“What if the baby’s yours?” Lindsay asked worriedly.
“Did you really think she’d allow me to be a part of my kid’s life if it is mine, Lindsay? Think about it.”
“I would hope you would push the issue.”
Lance looked irritated as they pulled into the bowling alley lot. “I’m not like Jace even if we are brothers Lindsay. I just assume to let it be.”
“Lance, you’re more like him than you even realize. It took a lot of guts to face Dad with this.”
“Jace wouldn’t have slept with his father’s girlfriend out of spite,” Lance reminded her and rolled his eyes. “My little brother had too much class for that.”
“At least you aren’t running away from it anymore, Lance.”
“You might as well know I invited Marnie up to eat with us,” he said and she looked at him in surprise.
“Marnie? Why?”
“She looked like she hadn’t eaten all day, that’s why.”
“I heard they gave her the diploma now so she won’t try to walk with the class and make anyone uncomfortable,” Lindsay told him sadly. “I feel so sorry for her.”
Lance smiled. “Marnie is the last one anyone needs to feel sorry for, Lindsay. She’s a survivor. She’s leaving Little Bend.”
“Where did you run into her?”
He didn’t say anything, alerting her that he went looking for Marnie. Somehow she was surprised her brother would be interested in a girl like her. Pregnant and known to be a runaround; she was hardly girlfriend material for her brother right now. She calmed down, thinking he just meant to be nice.
“Just be nice, Lindsay. She has it rough.”
“I have been nice, Lance, maybe too nice,” Lindsay snapped then. “Considering Marnie relieved my boyfriend of his virginity for my convenience; I should thank her for it.”
“I’m not saying that was right.”
“What if the baby is Jace’s?” Lindsay asked harshly. “How do you think I’m going to feel to know she had a kid with the guy I planned to marry and spend the rest of my life with? We wanted ten kids! Don’t you get it? She’ll have what I never will; a piece of Jace.”
“All the more reason to be nice to her, Lindsay. She never had an easy life.”
“Why are you always sticking up for Marnie? What gives?”
“We dated a while back.”
Lindsay wasn’t surprised to know she was right. “Don’t tell me her baby could be yours too or I’m out of here.”
Lance scowled at her and pocketed his keys. “We never told anybody we were dating.”
“Why?”
“She said she didn’t need you and your crowd on her back.”
“Why did you two stop seeing each other?”
“I got involved with Margene,” he said and Lindsay was stunned and looked away, out the window. “You don’t know Marnie like you think you do, Lindsay.”
“Lance, she’s been running around since we were in middle school. You were just one of many.”
He looked furious. “Until last summer; I was the first and only one she ran with. Cameron got her drunk and took advantage of her after I left. She isn’t what she seems. You shouldn’t be so judgmental, Lindsay. Not everybody grew up the way we did.”
“What about Dooley? She was seeing him too.”
“What about him? She dated him, so what? I left her, just up and left in the night. What happened after was my fault.”
“Nobody forced her to sleep with Jace!”
“Nobody forced him either,” Lance countered and saw her tears. “One day when you’
re older you’ll understand this stuff, Lindsay.”
“I’m so sick of everyone treating me like a kid! I’m eighteen, Lance.”
He looked amused. “Start acting like it. What happened was a mistake. Just let it go, Lindsay.”
“Can you let it go?” she replied with a knowing look.
“I love her. I guess I have to. She’s going to Georgia with me.”
Lindsay was stunned by his admission. Before she could react he got out of the car. She followed, still reeling by all he revealed to her. She started to think she had been living under a rock the whole time she was seeing Jace. Never in a million years did she see her brother in love with Marnie Slade.