The one and only advantage we had against Jophie was the fact that no matter what job he was about to complete, he had to make a grand entrance followed by an agonizingly long speech. To Jophie, entrances and exits were the make or break legends—- and he wanted to be the king of legend’s.
Albeon sat on the edge of the fountain looking down at his watch that probably cost as much as a house. 11:59, any minute now. Atticus and I ran as fast as our legs would take us. We had at least ten extra minutes before Jophie finished his speech and we needed every second.
Back at the fountain an echoing voice boomed from all around Albeon as his watch struck noon.
“Sometimes, it is better to fill our hearts, then our wallet. These values are what separate the Gods from the Devil himself.” Jophie begun.
Albeon looked around trying to find the source of the voice but Jophie was nowhere in sight.
“I’m here today to tell you, Albeon, that your cousin, Father Atedor is in my gracious care and ready to be reunited with a family who cares for him much more than any law.” Jophie continued.
What Jophie didn’t realize was that Albeon could not only care less for his cousin, but after Jophie turned him into his care, Albeon was going to skip out on paying Jophie, collect on the bounty and leave town-- like I’d ever let that happen.
Albeon looked down at his watch again. Nine minutes before his boat left. When he looked back up, Jophie, Micah and Father Atedor appeared from behind a wall. A rope connected Jophie to Father Atedor’s wrists—- like a leash on a dog.
“Because,” Jophie finished, “who are we to get in the way of family?”
Jophie’s speech was so bad the only ones who should of had to suffer through it were the deaf.
Albeon could hardly control his anxiousness. He had sent mice to fight mice only to have them deliver the cheese. His plan was working, that was, until Atticus and I took back our cheese.
I was in the lead with my knife out and ready. Silently we ran up and side swiped Jophie and Micah. They never heard us coming. My knife sliced through Jophie’s rope like butter and before they could react, Atticus grabbed Atedor’s leash and pulled him away. When Atedor looked back and saw Jophie take out his crossbow and Micah collapse out his spear, Atedor picked up the pace. He wanted to keep all his blood in his body today—- how greedy.
I threw down a smoke screen to keep the brothers from following us. To my surprise it didn’t slow them down. An arrow cut through the smoke and sped right towards us. Before impact we cut around a corner and the arrow stabbed into an stone wall. Lucky for us our contact was at the end of town waiting at a church-- ironically. We zigzagged our way across town. Jophie and Micah were close behind us the whole time keeping things interesting. I found out that smoke screens don’t work so well when the victims were outside and running around.
We reached the church by the skin of our teeth. Micah reached out for Atedor as Atticus flung Atedor into the church and I slammed shut the heavy wooden doors. One thing we all knew, as long as Atedor stayed in the church, the Gypsies couldn’t get to him. It was their kryptonite ever since they were banned from all roman-catholic churches centuries ago.
Outside, Atticus and I were smiling. We outwitted the rejects we called rivals.
“I wouldn’t have expected even you to fall for such a obvious trap.” Jophie said while Atticus and I caught our breath.
“And what does that mean Gypsy boy?” I asked.
Jophie put away his weapon and walked so close to me I thought he was going to kiss me.
“How are you expecting to collect the money, when you never met the person who was suppose to give it to you?”
“I…uh…”
“And to top it off, how does the client know you were the ones who delivered the package and not some two bit scumbags?”
I hated to admit it, but the bastard was right. I flew open the door and let the light flood the church. I had never been inside a church before, but now was not the time for a tour.
Besides the fact that Father Atedor’s dead body laid face first on the floor, the place was empty-- just like our bank account. We found out later that a radical group, who originally accused Father Atedor of molesting children, put out a false bounty on his head so they could execute him with ease; we were used as the leg work.
Not soon after we received a bill from Albeon’s family lawyer stating that we were the cause of death and unless we wanted to take the matter to court, we were to pay settlement fee for his emotional and physical loss. The only thing I hated worse than working for free was paying to work for free.
Chapter Five: Oblivion Babes
As each year passed, my popularity grew and who could blame me? I was freaking awesome. It’s only natural to have a group of fans that want nothing more in life then to be an exact clone of me.
And that’s just what I got, five young girls who called themselves Oblivion Babes. It was like looking into a mirror-- eight years ago. There were the two sisters, Lilim and Lillu who led the group. Ariel who documented all my adventures-- and as far as she was concerned, I’ve never lost a battle. Zophiel, who designed and sewed all the costumes for the girls and Ezra who just joined a few weeks ago.
Out of all the girls, Ezra’s the one I thought who had the most promise. Even though she was the new kid, she didn’t take crap from anyone and how can you do anything but admire a girl like that?
Lilim and Lillu hold fan club meetings every week but if they were around me that often there would be a highly likely chance that Atticus would walk in on me strangling one of the Little’s. The best part when the girls came around was that Atticus wasn’t anywhere to be found. The girls weren’t so bad, as long as you didn’t mind constant mindless chatter. Plus it’s nice to have other girls to talk to instead of an adolescent boy-- or Kial.
In the past the girls have held fundraising events to try to raise money for costumes and weapons but who wants to buy lemonade from little girls dressed like gothic Lolita vampires wearing papier-mâché gas masks?
So then they got the brilliant idea of trying to steal a small amount of money but the grocer they were stealing from caught them red handed soon found himself knee high in hysterical tear-faced girls and ended up letting them off the hook with a stern warning never to steal from him again.
So one weekend out of the month I allowed the girls to hang out with me. I warned them that even though I’m around I’m not responsible for any trouble they get into. They all nodded like star stricken zombies more fixated on the idea that I was acknowledging their existence than the words that came out of my mouth. They followed me around like an entourage of midgets and I’d be lying if I said my ego didn’t secretly enjoy it.
But lately I’d been working hard and the last thing I needed was to be inside a hot apartment all day babysitting. So today the girls and I went out to do one of my favorite activities; shopping.
The first question that came up out of their tiny mouths was about the recent fight I had with Jophie and I got excited to tell the Little’s about how I heroically slaughtered the evil cluster of pompous gypsies. Ariel wrote until her hand fell off as the other girls listen with beaming eyes of envy. In the heat of my storytelling adventure, I might have gotten a little carried away in the number of people I sliced down with my blade but like they’d ever know.
Before we went out Kial had given me my share of the Victual money. Since I’d find a way to make Atticus take care of rent and food later with his share, I came to the conclusion that I’d use mine for the finer things in life-- fashion.
“So, tell us about Atticus.” Lillu said.
“Yeah, have you two kissed yet?!” Lilim asked.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t blush a little. The thought of being romantically involved with any guy hadn’t crossed my mind in quite awhile. But even if I did like Atticus in that way there was no way I’d ever let him know about it. I shook out of my daydre
am world to see the Little’s eyeing me.
“No way. It’s a strictly professional relationship.” I said as I straightened up my composure and continued to walk down the street.
Content with my well-worded response we roamed the streets window-shopping until the most horrific sentence ever imagined came out of Ezra’s mouth.
“What about Jophie, have you ever kissed him?” Ezra asked.
The other girls paused and looked at her as if Ezra just told me to go kill myself-- she might as well have, it would’ve been a better option. I looked down at her and let out an obvious evil grin. I could see her little body shake with fright as I towered over her. She’s new and didn’t know any better, but hell if I was going to let her get off that easy.
“What?” I asked.
The other Little’s crowded behind me giving so much sign language to Ezra you’d thought she was deaf.
“I… I just,” Ezra squeaked out.
“Hmmm?” I hummed as I leaned even closer.
“Well… you love him, right?”
I felt my grin explode. That’s right. Dig that hole deeper. I looked behind her and spotted a young boy about her age walking towards us across the street. I turned Ezra around and whispered in her ear.
“See that boy over there?”
She nodded.
“You’re going to kiss him on the cheek and tell him you love him.”
“I’m not going to do that!” she yelled.
“You better.” Lilim said.
“Or she’ll make you do something worse.” Lillu added.
Ezra turned and looked at me with heartbroken eyes. I felt the punishment fit the crime. The Little’s giggled behind me as Ezra walked up to the boy. Silently I too laughed as Ezra stopped by the boy. I wasn’t really going to force her to do it but she didn’t call my bluff.
“Excuse me.” Ezra said.
“Yeah?” the boy asked.
Ezra just stared him down without saying a word. Her cheeks were blushing.
“Uh, hello?” the boy asked waiting for a response.
Ezra still didn’t say anything.
“Ok, bye.” the boy said as he past by her.
“Wait. I need to tell you a secret.” Ezra said.
The girl had guts, I’ll give her that.
“So tell me.”
“Come close. I don’t want anyone to hear.”
The boy leaned in close. Ezra swallowed hard and puckered up. Before the boy knew it, Ezra planted her lips like a bomb on his cheek. The boy didn’t know what hit him. Frozen in shock, Ezra muttered, “I love you,” and was already across the street before the boy could reply.
“What the…?” he said as he stood there while we walked away giggling.
Ezra didn’t talk to me the rest of the day-- victory, like always, was mine-- and that was only Saturday.
***
Sunday was training day. Today I was going to train the girls in search and rescue. I had set up five ‘X’s’ around town on the ground with white chalk to help make the targets stand out more. Once the girls found the ‘X’ on the ground, they had to find the oranges with a black ‘X’ marked on them. It was their mission to find, obtain and retrieve back the oranges to me before lunch which gave them two hours. I was quite proud of myself. I took time out of my beauty sleep to set up this crap.
The girls lined up outside, each wearing accessories on them that we’d bought yesterday and all were dressed in my kind of clothing style along with their papier-mâché gas maskss—- my little Venetian warriors. Kial was out of town looking for a computer part so I made his office the base camp and sat on his couch ready to start the game.
“Ready, set, get the hell out of here.” I said and the girls took off running.
They spread throughout the city like little viruses. They combed the streets looking for the ‘X’. Ezra was the first to find one. The orange was perched on a windowsill on the third floor of a six-floor building. And to answer your question, no, it wasn’t easy placing it there.
The second to find an orange was Lilim. Hers was inside a fruit stand near the docks. Only one problem, there were three people in front of her buying fresh fruit for the morning.
Lillu and Zophiel spotted the chalky ‘X’ near an orange tree orchard and spread out combing the trees for the orange with an ‘X’ on it. Didn’t take them long to spot it; the problem was that the tree was fenced in and on private property. The man who owned the property, Mr. Yeqon kept a close eye on his land and was known for shooting trespassers. I guess it happened pretty often. I dunno.
Within ten minutes Ariel came back, tossed me an orange with a black ‘X’ and sat down next to me on the couch. I was shocked.
“Where did you find yours?” I asked.
“I just thought like you and there it was.”
“Well done.”
I peeled the orange and split it with her while we waited for the other girls.
Ezra had counted the rooms and knocked on the door of the room she thought the orange was in. No one answered. She knocked harder. Still nothing. Frustrated she climbed to the roof and peered out over the ledge. She wondered if there was a way she could knock it over or climb down and grab it. She scanned the roof and found a few broken pieces of cement. Carefully she aimed. She only had five tries. She threw the first one and missed by a mile almost hitting a man walking by. She controlled her breathing and tried again. Second one hit the sill and bounced to the ground. Then she decided to let luck have a try. She aimed again and this time threw the remaining pieces of cement. Two missed but one was a direct hit. The orange fell to the ground with a bounce. Victory was hers—- even if only short lived. A nearby stray dog saw the orange fall and thinking it was some sort of fun chew toy, picked up the orange in its mouth and ran away. Ezra sprinted down the stairs, out the building and blasted down the street after the mutt.
Lilim patiently waited in line at the fruit stand. Now there was only one customer in front of her. He was a larger man who was filling his bag full of fresh fruit. He took his time and inspected all the items. Then Lilim’s heart stopped as she watched the man pick up the orange with the ‘X’ on it. The man looked at the ‘X’ a bit confused. He tried cleaning it off on his shirt and after a failed attempt, shrugged and put it in his bag. Lilim panicked and let out a small whimper. The man didn’t hear her. He paid for his fruit and walked away. Not knowing what to do next, Lilim, moving around as if she had to use the restroom, hesitantly followed closely behind.
By this time Lillu and Zophiel had hopped the fence that was entangled with barbwire and were already racing up the tree towards their orange. As they climbed, the tree swayed back and forth from their weight. Ripe oranges plummeted to the ground with loud thuds as if they were air bombing the ants below. Neither girl was skilled at climbing and both were in skirts—- speed was their biggest obstacle. Lillu reached the orange first and plucked it off the branch. She held the fruit high above her head with a smile on her face. Suddenly both girls flinched as a shotgun went off a few feet away. They looked down and saw Yeqon under the tree looking anything but happy.
Ezra had chased the dog around town and was now running through the market. At one point she even passed by Lilim. The thing about dogs is the more you chase them, the more they run away. Even when Ezra thought she was gaining on the dog, the dog would look back and speed up, biting into the orange little by little and letting the juices leak into his mouth. There was no way he was letting go of the tasty chew toy he had newly acquired.
Finally, out of breath, Ezra blocked the dog into a corner. The dog turned around and panted out the sides of its slobbery mouth. Ezra spread out her arms and carefully walked closer to the dog whom looked anything but worried. With big playful eyes, he squeezed the orange a few times more in his mouth if to do nothing but taunt Ezra. She reached out and managed to grab the collar of the dog. With her free hand she reached
for the orange trying her hardest to loosen the orange from the dogs’ mouth and pry it out. The dog held tight. Ezra struggled as if her life depended on it. She let go of the collar and placed both hands on the orange. Even with both hands she couldn’t pry it out of the dogs’ mouth as orange juice fused with slobber oozed down her arm.
Did I mention I promised the girls a secret mystery prize for the one to bring me back the orange first? Oops. They’d step on a landmine if they knew I would personally give them a prize for it. Since keeping secrets was fun, I decided to leave it a mystery until the game was over.
Back in the market Lilim bit her fingernails as she trailed the now paranoid fat man. She played out all the scenarios she could think of to ask for the piece of fruit. None of which seemed to end with the result she wanted. Then she thought to herself, “What would Essa do?” Lilim crept up close behind the man and reached for his bag. She was going to pickpocket the fruit and run like a bat out of hell—- let’s get something straight, I wouldn’t have done that. Right before she could grab it though, the man placed his hand on the fruit, cleaned off the loose dirt and pealed the skin. She watched in horror as the orange peels fell to the ground one by one.
Lillu and Zophiel gripped the tree branch hard hoping that maybe if they stayed still, Mr. Yeqon wouldn’t see them.
“What the HELL are you two girls doing in MY tree?” Yeqon yelled.
“It’s… it’s a contest.” Zophiel said.
“Yeah, a contest.” Lillu added.
“Well I got a contest for the both of you.” Yeqon said. “First one to get out of my tree doesn’t get shot.”
The girls looked at each other. If they didn’t return with the orange, they run the risk of being the only ones to get disqualified. They made their way down the tree. Zophiel stepped on what she thought was a thick branch as she reached towards the bottom. The branch broke under her weight and she freefell to the ground, landing on Yeqon. The impact loosened his grip on the shotgun and it fell out of his hands a few feet away. Seizing the moment, Lillu jumped to the ground, took Zophiel by the hand and they both hopped the fence. By the time Yeqon could stand up and get a shot off the girls were already out of sight.