*
I had hoped to have most of my things moved in my apartment before I told Greg, but since things had been delayed another day, I figured that I might as well tell him. After all, the apartment was mine. I just couldn’t start taking my things over until the next morning.
I figured Greg would come in for lunch, so I made tuna sandwiches and iced tea; something we both liked a lot. It was one of the few things we had in common. But liking tuna sandwiches and iced tea isn’t exactly sufficient reason for staying in an otherwise dysfunctional marriage.
He was all smiles and happy with himself when he breezed in and saw his lunch waiting. “Thanks, Brenda!” He went straight to the sink and washed his hands.
I had already eaten, so picked up my plate and glass, meeting him at the sink, and set them on the counter to wait until he finished.
He turned, still smiling, as he wiped his hands on a paper towel. I walked away to sit on the sofa, but he said, “If you have a minute, why don’t you sit with me while I eat?”
Wanting to keep him in a good mood, I replied okay and pulled out a chair to his right.
“You know,” he said, “I feel really good about the couple this morning. I think we managed to get somewhere. The wife seems eager to do whatever she must to make their marriage work, and I believe her husband is willing too. Definitely they are God-fearing people”
I was a bit apprehensive as to where this was going, but I kept my mouth shut. And I could not help but linger on ‘God-fearing’. Why should one have to fear a truly loving god?
He took a few bites of his sandwich and drank some tea. I could almost see the wheels of thought turning in his head. He took a few more bites, swallowed and looked at me squarely. “Brenda, I think we could still make this work.”
Shit! “Greg—.”
“I know,” he said. “I know you don’t believe we can. But what God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.”
Now he was quoting from the traditional marriage ceremony.
“I am a man, Brenda! I still love you! And I think you still have feelings for me.” He tilted his brow forward inquisitively. “You do, don’t you?”
I pondered as to whether I should tell him now that I was ready to move out. He knew I’d been packing, but he didn’t know that I had an apartment yet.
“Brenda?”
“Greg, I’ll always care for you. That’s not it. To put it simply – We are mismatched.”
His faced twisted in confusion. “What? Mismatched? What an absurd thing to say.”
“Not from my viewpoint. You… You are into the church. The church is your life! And that’s okay – for you! I know I married you knowing you were a minister. In spite of the fact that Mom warned me not to make the same mistakes she did. But I was so crazy about you I couldn’t see the bigger picture.
He was only hearing what he wanted to hear. “You do love me! I knew you did!”
“I do love you, Greg, but not the way you want me to. Not the way you need me to.” My frustration was blossoming into anger. “I can’t be a subservient slave to a life where I am miserable all the time. There is no time for me! I need… I want time for me!” I realized I was yelling and hoped Dad hadn’t heard.
“That’s the devil talking through you! You’re not yourself!”
“No! I am the one talking here, Greg! No devil involved!” I turned away from him in frustration. “Crap! Why on Earth did I not listen to Mom?”
We both stood there for several minutes just staring one another down but not saying a word.
Then there was a loud knock on the door and Dad’s voice came through. “Everything okay in there?”
“You promised me he’d stay away, Greg!”
“I did. But this has gotten out of hand.” He rushed over to the door and opened it and let Dad in.
“Don’t do this!” I said, shaking so hard I could barely stand.
“I’ve figured it out,” Greg said to Dad. “She’s possessed!”
Dad’s eyes immediately fell on me, as he pondered over Greg’s words. “You’re right! Why did I not see it?”
“What the hell!” I yelled. This was not good. Not good at all. Their faces were like crazed animals. They had let themselves be convinced that I was possessed. I scanned my surroundings looking for an opening where I could run through them, but they were closing in on me. I made a dash for it anyway, but Dad caught me. And though he was older, he was taller than Greg by about three inches (Greg was only five-foot-eleven) and more muscular. Kept himself in shape. He held me so tight I could hardly breathe.
“Get something to tie her hands behind her back,” Dad ordered.
“Right!”
“You’re freakin’ kidding me!” I screamed in horror.
Greg came right back with one of his leather belts and tied my hands while Dad held me.
I screamed. I yelled. I cursed profanities that I hadn’t even been aware that I knew until that moment. Of course, now that I think about it, it didn’t help my case at all. It wouldn’t have mattered though. They were already convinced.
While Dad held me, Greg got on the phone and began calling all the parishioners and telling them I needed an exorcism, for everyone to get to the church as soon as possible.
“Seriously? You’re doing this?” I screamed at Greg.
He looked at me with perplexed but sad eyes and said, “I’m sorry, Brenda. But this has to be done. I realize that now. It’s because you hung out with those witches. You went and got yourself possessed. We should have known.”
“I don’t have a freakin’ demon! I just want to be treated decently! That does not make me evil!”
Soon church members were knocking at the door. They were mostly the elderly members who were retired and didn’t have jobs to go to, but there were a few younger members that were off for one reason or the other.
I realized that my screaming wasn’t getting me anywhere, so I shut up and just glared at all their ‘concerned’ faces. I could have spit nails at all of them, had I been able to.
I was never so humiliated in my entire life when Dad and Greg dragged me across the yard and into the church with the others following behind. I didn’t dare look to the right or left. I didn’t want to look at all. I just wanted to die right then and there. Still, I knew that if I came out of this alive, that things were going to be different – A lot different!
You’ve seen in movies where a person, supposedly, is having a demon exorcised, and they spit at the priest. Well, I totally get it now. I spit in Dad’s face, and I spit in Greg’s. At that moment, I hated them both with every sinew in my body and, when I did chance to look at a couple of the assisting church members, I hated them too. The anger seared through me like a hot, all-consuming flame.
The ridiculous nightmare seemed to me to go on for hours.
Dad kept yelling at me as though he were talking to a demon, demanding the demon to come out of me.
Of course there was no demon. They were just freakin’ nuts on a crazed high.
I fought them for as long as I could, but after a while, I was too exhausted. I felt as though I was going to pass out. In fact, I think I did a time or two, but then someone would slap my face and futilely order the demon to come out again.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I knew the only way to get out of this now was to pretend to let the demon go. So, with what energy I could muster, I yelled more profanities at my Dad and Greg, and then feigned passing out momentarily, before waking up and suddenly went all sweet and innocent, acting like I had no clue what had been going on.
I must have played the part good, for Dad and Greg suddenly started thanking Jesus for saving me, and I just closed my eyes. Then I actually did pass out.
I woke up around midnight on Greg’s bed! Next to Greg!
The freakin’ imbecile actually believed that things were going to be okay now. I mouthed, “Oh my God!” I lay there for several minutes considering what to do. I know that I didn
’t want to be there a second longer than necessary.
I waited a few minutes listening to Greg’s deep breathing. He was definitely asleep. I figured he was probably exhausted too, from the long ordeal at the church. I ever so slowly and carefully shoved back my covers and slipped my legs around to the side of the bed and sat up. I waited a few seconds. Greg was still sleeping. I stood, waited another few moments, and then satisfied that I could continue undetected, I grabbed my keys and cell phone off the dresser drawers and tiptoed to the living room. My box of things was still there. I didn’t even bother to change clothes. I figured the sooner I got out of there, the better. It was past midnight. So I figured that I could go on to my apartment now.
I quietly let myself out the door and glanced at my car. It too was still there. I had held the fear that they had hid it from me somewhere, but they hadn’t. I can’t say how thankful for that I was. I let out another sigh of relief and hurried over to it. I unlocked the door on the passenger side and tossed my box in, ran around and let myself in, and wasted not a second in starting up my car.
A light came on in Greg’s bedroom. He knew! I peeled out of the driveway backwards, knocking over the garbage can. I didn’t care. I drove away as quickly as I could. And boy was I glad that Greg didn’t know I had an apartment, and had no clue that it was only a few blocks away.
I took a chance and kept my headlights off, so he couldn’t follow me easily with his eyes. I even drove several blocks out of the way at first, hoping to make sure he had lost sight of me. I couldn’t believe that I had actually made it so far without any cops noticing me driving around without my headlights.
After about twenty minutes, I decided that I had circled the park a sufficient number of times and headed straight for my place.
Soon as I arrived, I eased my car under my apartment’s private canopy where it was shielded by the shrubs, grabbed my box and let myself into my new home. Ran back out and got my things out of the trunk, locked my door and then I went to my bedroom.
My bedroom! Yes! My bed!
It wasn’t made. No sheets or anything. I didn’t care. Free at last, I turned the light out and threw myself across the bare mattress and fell into a blissful slumber