When Kate had at first walked into the room, she felt real joy, it was wonderful to see everyone again and alive, thank God, but now she had a few things to sort out. As she walked out, she felt numb. Talokta’s bodyguards instantly joined her, but she was not aware of them, she was floating, in shock. Sataal’s words reeled round and round in her mind. Did she suspect something all along? Maybe yes, the pieces were beginning to fit. God help her!
It was as if the walls of a cruel, uncontrollable reality were tumbling down around her. She had no intention of turning into a god or such like, let alone being stuck with the spirit or reincarnation of a queen or ruling the universe, or ruling anything. She did not want that burden, that monstrosity, that responsibility. She never sent her résumé in for this! Why was Kate Willard stuck with this Queen Leah who lived six thousand years ago and by all accounts was to be forcibly destined to sit beside a Trimadian warlord.
Now, perhaps if they were talking about a small country she could deal with that, not the whole fucking universe! It was like standing on the outside, watching a horror movie, a movie of herself alongside a bunch of war hungry homicidal monsters trying to manipulate her, and she could thank God it was only limited to a two-hour movie! But in Kate’s case, it was real and happening now. Kate pinched herself at that thought.
Well, what did you expect?
She solemnly requested her guards to take her to her quarters.
A stressed out Kate lay down as rampant, tortuous thoughts raced through her.
I don’t want to live someone else’s life. Just because this Kalvich creature declares I am Queen Leah, does not mean that is the truth? Why all this trickery, why kidnap me, why the despicable ruse and threats to Earth, why not just simply ask me?
Well, I would not believe them for one thing. Was it Kalvich that helped me on Marone’s ship or Cemel? Those two would have to be immortal? But they were sworn enemies. In her vision she saw Cemel get blasted. When did he become immortal? Perhaps he always was.
But why me?
No matter what the answer is, I am, and always will be Kate Willard.
No one is going to control me.
Who was the elderly couple? They seemed nice enough. Maybe this old couple instinctively knew it would be too much to handle if she got handed these gifts all in one hit. Knowing that you were born as a reincarnation of someone else, a royal being that lived thousands of years ago, was tough enough. But the revelation you have supernatural powers asleep inside, was unfathomable.
It seemed like she was having no choice in her destiny. Kate did not mind the temporary powers she had been granted, which were almost fun. But not knowing how to deal with them if they became permanent or evolved, let alone control them, scared her. Would instinct be enough?
Jesus effing Christ. Would I stay human?
She was spinning out of control, and she was terrified.
Could Cemel, if he was around, do some magic and remove Leah out of her, so she could get on with her life? Maybe that would fuck off these aliens. Yes, at this stage she would forsake all these little “gifts,” to go back to being boring and normal Ms. Kate Willard. Could Cemel make her forget all this too? How the hell would she contact Cemel? Maybe he was with Kalvich, which seemed unlikely.
“There has to be a way out of this,” she said out loud.
That fateful morning, back home, when she declared she was destined to be more than what she was now. Never in her wildest moments would she ever imagine this.
She stared at her two stones; she had not held them for a long time.
She snatched them up.
Nothing happened. Too wound up. But she was tired and put them beside the bed.
She had never felt more alone in her life as now. The more she learned the lonelier she became. She had no one to talk to. No one would understand.
The only one she really trusted was Pete, but he was different, withdrawn, like Sataal. The sparkle in his eyes had gone, which was no surprise in the situation they were all in. When she greeted him, he was an unemotional shell and responded to her like she was not even there. What had happened? Was he in shell shock?
She had so much to deal with.
Well, deal with the here and now.
Either way, they were all heading for Heliostronus. Towards a mysterious, unpredictable future.