Read Offside Page 43


  I was here to stay.

  Well, somewhat.

  The house I had shared with Lou Malone never sold. I guess when someone kills himself in a place, word gets around, and even though I’d dropped the price on it three times, I hadn’t had a single offer. Justin made the original suggestion, and Nicole seemed to like it as well, so the place was going to be torn down and a new house built there instead.

  It would be a house that I hoped Nicole and I would share when she was done with college.

  I managed to get up the ramp with the walker about an hour and a half later. All right, it wasn’t really that long, but sometimes I still missed the wheelchair. It was a hell of a lot faster. Nicole scooted around me, claiming she needed to get dinner in the oven so it would be ready on time. I loved her enchiladas and had gone on about them to Gardner until Nicole told me to shut up about it. She said it with a smile on her face, though.

  “Where do you want all this?” Gardner asked as he held up my duffel bag.

  “Over there, I guess,” I replied. I pointed over to the sectioned-off part of the living room that still had everything ready for me. He helped me unpack while Nicole fucked around in the kitchen, and with a beer, Greg made himself comfortable in his recliner.

  “I like these,” Gardner said as he flipped through my latest sketchbook. “The detail you capture is incredible.”

  “Thanks,” I mumbled. I still didn’t like hearing people talk about my drawing, especially an art professor. I just couldn’t get used to it.

  “Do you still see everything so clearly in your head?”

  “The old stuff, yeah,” I admitted. “I still remember everything before the accident completely, and when I think about it, I can remember almost everything else, too. It’s just not as…as overwhelming as it used to be.”

  “These are particularly detailed,” he said.

  I looked over and saw the drawings I had done of Nicole at her games. I could draw her legs for hours without getting tired of the activity. There were other sketches of her, but they were in another book that I never shared with anyone.

  “She’s particularly interesting to look at,” I grinned.

  “I see that,” he said, and he smiled back at me. “Are you going to reconsider letting me show these off? You know, I put that one you gave me up in my office. Several people have commented on it.”

  “You weren’t supposed to display it!” I said with a scowl.

  “You told me to do whatever I wanted with it,” Gardner reminded me, “so I framed it and put it in my office. I never had the opportunity to…well, you know. Lots of professors have their kids’ artwork up on their walls. It made sense to me, but…I can take it down if you want.”

  I took a deep breath and looked up at him. I could tell by his expression that he wanted it to stay where it was. I finally just shook my head.

  “Leave it there,” I grumbled.

  “So…what about the other stuff?”

  “Who would you show it to?”

  “Well, the person who showed the most interest was actually from around here,” he told me. “Her name is Kathrine, and she runs a gallery in Chicago, but she has one in Portland as well. She’s heard of you.”

  “How has she heard of me?”

  “You were in a lot of articles last year.”

  “Oh…yeah, I guess.”

  Local soccer star saves girl, loses ability to walk.

  It had been all over the place.

  “When she put the pieces together and figured out you were, um, my son…”

  He trailed off.

  It had only been a month ago when I finally went to Chicago to visit him, and he had almost had an anxiety attack over how to introduce me. After I told him to tell people how it was—he was my father, but I had been raised by my mom and step-father—Gardner practically had a melt-down, even started crying, which freaked me out a little. Once I figured out they were “happy tears,” I calmed down, but it was still weird. He took me all over campus at my usual snail’s pace, introducing me to everyone as his son.

  “It still feels weird to tell people that,” he said. “I love it, but it’s weird.”

  “I know.”

  We worked in silence for a bit, me propped up next to the dresser and putting clothes away while Gardner organized my sketching materials on the nightstand.

  “Oh shit!” he suddenly exclaimed. “I forgot something!”

  He dashed out of the house and came back a minute later with a tackle box. Greg’s eyes went wide.

  “You want to do some fishing?” he asked.

  “Um…no…” Gardner brought the tackle box over to my bed and opened it. It was full of pencils, pastels, paintbrushes, and acrylic paints. “This is for you. I like keeping my drawing stuff in a tackle box—it just makes it easy to organize. I have some canvas and an easel back in my hotel room for you since you said you’d like to give painting a try.”

  “Damn.” I whistled as I looked through all the supplies. “Thanks! Maybe this way I won’t drive Greg too nuts when Nicole goes back to school.”

  “Yes, you will,” Greg replied. “You always drive me nuts. Just next time you and Nicole are having one of your ‘moments’ in the bathroom, give me some damn warning!”

  “Dad!” Nicole screamed from the kitchen. “You swore you were never going to mention that again!”

  The lock on my bathroom door at the rehab center didn’t work. Greg thought we were down in the exercise room or something and…um…walked in on Nicole and me in the shower. Right as he opened the door to take a piss, Nicole was yelling out something a little on the colorful side.

  He chuckled and covered his eyes.

  “Sorry,” he said, “but I think I was scarred for life.”

  “Tell me about it,” Nicole grumbled in response. “Dinner in ten!”

  “Um…well…” Gardner babbled as he turned red and tried to divert the conversation. “Um…so anyway…I was talking to Kathrine, and she’d like to see more of your work. I think she might even be thinking about showing it in her gallery. What would you think of that?”

  “I’d think no fucking way,” I responded.

  “Thomas…”

  “Don’t give me that,” I snapped. “I told you before…it’s just a hobby.”

  Gardner sat on the edge of my bed and stared at me. It still made me feel all funky when he did that—it was too much like looking in the mirror.

  “It doesn’t have to be a hobby,” he said—again. “You have talent—a lot of it. I’d like to think it came from me, but you are far better than I, despite my PhD in art, and you haven’t had any formal training at all.”

  “I’m not going to move to Chicago,” I told him, because I knew that’s where this was going—again. “Nicole’s here. Greg’s here. When Nicole graduates, it’s not like she’s going to be able to do marine biology in Chicago.”

  Gardner sighed and ran his hand through his hair. I mentally stopped my hand from doing the same.

  “What if…what if you went to school here, too?” he asked.

  “What? For art?”

  “Yes.”

  I frowned. I hadn’t really thought about it too much.

  “I have an offer,” Gardner said.

  “What are you offering?” I asked.

  “No, no,” he corrected, “that’s not what I meant. I mean I have received an offer—to come and teach at the community college. You’d get free tuition with me there, and you’d be close to Nicole.”

  “Are you crazy?” I asked him. “You didn’t tell me anything about that.”

  “I didn’t want to say anything until I had the actual offer,” he said with a shrug. “I just got it last week.”

  “You’re going to leave Chicago Art Institute to teach at a community college? Really?”

  “Yeah, I think I might.”

  “Gardner, that’s nuts.”

  “Why?”

  “You already have a great position at a grea
t art school. Why would you trade down? That doesn’t make any sense!”

  He looked down at his hands in his lap for a minute and shrugged again.

  “I’m just getting to know you,” he finally said. “I know you don’t want to move, and I understand your reasons—they’re valid reasons. I want to be part of your life. If I have to change jobs to do that…”

  My chest clamped up on me, and I had to sit down. I had no idea how I was supposed to react to this news. He was going to move all the way from Chicago just to be closer to me? Why would he do that?

  “I don’t understand,” I finally said.

  “I just…I…” He stopped and started fucking around with his hair again. He finally took a deep breath and blew it out. “You don’t want me to.”

  My chest felt heavy again.

  “That’s not what I meant,” I said. “I just don’t understand why you’d give that up.”

  He turned his eyes to me again, and they were warm under dark brows that knitted together.

  “I already missed so much of your life,” he said quietly. “I don’t want to miss anything else.”

  I still had no idea how to react. Thoughts of my dad—Lou—went through my head as I tried to think of something he had ever done that even came close to this. Though he had constantly reminded me of how much he had sacrificed for me, none of it compared—not even close.

  “You don’t have to do that,” I finally said.

  “I know I don’t have to,” he responded. He stood up then and walked around to the other side of the bed where I was sitting. He dropped down next to me before speaking again. “I want to do this, Thomas. I want to be closer to you. This way you wouldn’t have to deal with a plane again—I know how much you hated that—and I’d be able to see you a lot more often. I want to get to know you better. Nicole, too.”

  I looked into his eyes, and there was no doubt about his sincerity. His mouth turned up into a familiar, lopsided grin.

  “Speaking of Nicole…did you ask her yet?”

  “Not yet,” I admitted, and my face felt hot. “I don’t know how to bring it up.”

  “I don’t think I’d be much help in that department,” Gardner said. “Just ask?”

  “I haven’t had a minute alone with her yet.”

  “Judging from the way you two are, I can’t imagine she would say no.”

  “But she might,” I said quietly. I quickly glanced toward the kitchen, but I couldn’t see her. I could hear the sounds of plates and silverware being placed on the table. “I’m not sure how I’d handle that. She told me how her mom often says marriage shouldn’t happen before you are thirty or something.”

  “Nicole isn’t her mom.”

  “True.”

  We didn’t say anything for a minute, and I just stared down at my hand, which covered the pocket containing a small, black satin box.

  “So…you’re okay with me moving closer?” Gardner asked.

  “Yeah,” I said. “That would be great.”

  “Will you consider going to the same school for art?”

  “I’ll think about it.”

  “Good.” His hand touched my arm, and I looked up at him just as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and hugged me to him. I hugged him back, trying to sort out all the emotions running through my head.

  Gardner’s voice became soft.

  “I love you, son.”

  “I…I love you, too, Gardner.”

  His words had touched me more deeply than I ever would have imagined.

  I guess now I’ll become an art major.

  “Will you marry me?”

  Fourteenth time’s the charm, right?

  “No.”

  I sighed and pulled Rumple close to my chest. I guess post-coital proposals didn’t work, either.

  The first time I had asked, she thought I was joking. I kind of played it off that way, too, not wanting her to know how serious I really was and how her saying no had torn at my heart. I knew we were too young, but I still wanted to…I don’t know, stake a claim? We were already living together off campus, so what the hell was the big deal about a piece of paper?

  Her hand ran over my stomach, causing me to shiver a little and my cock to twitch. Little bastard never got enough of her, it seemed. She didn’t mind though. If anything, she was ready to have another go before I was. Not today though, because Greg and Gardner were coming to take us out to dinner and celebrate.

  Nicole honestly thought it was weird, but I wanted to celebrate having saved her life exactly one year ago today. She saw it as the day I got hurt, but to me, the important part was all about her being okay. Besides, I was walking again, even if I did still have to use a cane to keep my balance.

  I hated the fucking walker so much, I nearly hurt myself pushing the PT and ended up in the hospital for a weekend. Danielle tore me a new one and put me on a very strict regimen after that. No more pushing myself into exercises my body wasn’t ready to tackle.

  Nicole made sure I only did what I was allowed to do.

  “Why do you keep asking?”

  It was the first time she had even attempted to speak about it after I asked. Usually she just told me to stop it or shut up or something.

  “I want to marry you,” I said as I shrugged my shoulders. “I know there will never be anyone else who could ever compare to you. I don’t see any reason to wait.”

  “What about school?”

  “What about it?” I asked. “We’re both here, and we’ll both graduate. It’ll take me a little longer since I got behind, but I thought I’d take some summer courses or something to make up for it. If I can, I’ll still graduate with you.”

  “But…to be in school and be married, too? How is that going to work?”

  “How will it be different from now?”

  “People will think it’s…weird,” Nicole insisted. “Married at nineteen?”

  She snorted.

  “So we wait a little longer,” I said. “I just…”

  I stopped. After a minute, Nicole raised her head and looked up at me.

  “Just what?” she asked.

  I ran my hand through my hair and cringed a little. Seeing Gardner do it all the time made me self-conscious about it.

  “Guys look at you all the time,” I finally said. “When you’re training and whatever—they’re watching you, and I can’t beat the shit out of them like I want to.”

  “Thomas! Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “I’m not.” I shook my head. “Every time I’m there, I hear other guys, other soccer players, talk about how good you are, and I just wish…”

  I stopped again, looking away from her and over to the wall next to our bed. I felt her hand on my cheek, slowly turning me back to her.

  “I’m yours,” she said softly. “I don’t care about those guys or what they say.”

  “They can…they can do all this shit I can’t…”

  “Thomas Malone!” Nicole yelled, and I cringed against the pillow. “Don’t you dare talk about yourself like that! You have made so much progress in the last few months, and I will not listen to you sell yourself short!”

  “It’s true!” I insisted. “They could run around a field and kick a ball around with you. They could hold your fucking books between classes instead of needing a damn cane to get around.”

  “Stop it!” she said. “Don’t make me call Justin! He said if you started feeling sorry for yourself again, I could, you know!”

  I took a deep breath and blew it out my nose. Most of the time, that kind of shit really didn’t bother me, but when I saw those guys looking at her and talking about her, and I knew I no longer had what they had, it just about killed me.

  “Sorry,” I finally said. “It doesn’t get to me that much, just…sometimes.”

  “I know,” Nicole said as she sat up and tucked my hair behind my ear. “I don’t like hearing you talk about yourself like that. Sorry I yelled.”

  “It’s okay,” I told her
, and she placed a light kiss on my cheek. She kept her hand in my hair, twirling it around her fingers before tucking it around my ear.

  “Does it really mean that much to you?” Nicole eventually asked.

  “Getting married?” I clarified. She nodded. “If we were at least engaged…I mean, we wouldn’t have to set a date or anything. If you just had my ring on your finger…”

  My voice trailed off.

  “Let me see it,” Nicole said with a huff.

  “See what?”

  “The ring you think I don’t know about.”

  Damn. I really couldn’t hide much of anything from her.

  “No,” I said, scowling. “You don’t want it.”

  “Don’t make me get it myself, Thomas.”

  She pushed herself off of me and made a grand gesture with her arm toward the other side of the room and my desk. My heart started beating faster, and I swung my legs to the side of the bed and carefully stood. My balance was still a serious problem, especially when I first stood up. I took the four steps across the room without the cane, though. My right leg, the one that had been gashed, did suffer some nerve damage and dragged behind a little.

  I opened up the top drawer and reached into the back where I had been hiding the little black satin box. I brought it back over to the bed, stumbling a bit but not falling, at least. I hadn’t actually fallen in a week. I balanced the box on Nicole’s knee.

  She looked at it as if a ref was going to pop out of it and red-card her.

  After staring at it for an eternity or two, she finally reached out and ran her fingers over the smooth top. Her thumb played over the front edge for a moment before she popped it open, and her eyes went wide.

  It wasn’t huge or anything, but it was pretty decent-sized. There was a large diamond in the center with smaller ones on either side.

  “Do you like it?” I asked softly.

  “It’s…it’s beautiful,” she breathed. Her fingers traced lightly over the center stone.

  I placed my hand on the side of the bed and lowered myself down on my left knee.

  “Nicole Skye,” I said softly as I gazed up at her. “I promise I will always be yours. There will never be anyone else in my life but you. In my existence, I have never known anyone who has the capacity for love and compassion like you do, and you give them to me freely. You’ve made me a better person, and I love you so much, I can’t even put it into words. Will you please, please be my wife?”