“We hope.” Noah snorted. “The guy isn’t exactly operating on a full set of cylinders you know.”
Cade rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall next to the TV. He inclined his head toward the two rooms off the main. “My vote is that we get a few hours’ sleep—we’re all beat—then pick this up and hammer out a solid plan. We’re no good to Ava if we can’t think straight.”
“I second that.” Kori stood and stretched. She hitched her thumb toward the bedroom on the right, then said, “One on the left is all yours, Ash.”
As she and Cade shuffled toward the other room, I heard them arguing about who got to sleep on the floor this time—which I thought was weird. Then again, Kori had said the relationship was complicated…
The door to their room closed softly, leaving Noah and me alone. I didn’t look over at him but could feel his gaze on me. It was heavy but not unwanted, and when I finally worked up the courage to lift my head, I found that he wasn’t sitting on the couch anymore. He’d stood.
He’d stood and taken a step toward me.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Noah
What the fuck was I doing?
Cade and Kori left and I hadn’t given it a second thought. I’d stood and started walking over to the other side of the room where Ash sat on the couch, purposefully looking anywhere but at me.
Probably because she already told me she was leaving, and here I was—what? What the hell was I doing?
She looked up and pointed toward the empty room. There was a slight shake in her hand. “You can take it if you want. I’m just kind of tagging along until we find Sera.”
“I’m better off on the couch. That’s what I usually take.” I sat down a few cushions away from her. “This way I can come and go without waking Cade up. Kori now, too. That girl is an obnoxiously light sleeper…”
“Where do you go?”
“Out,” I said. What was the point of not telling her the truth, though? I’d already admitted it. She knew the score. “Looking for you mostly.”
“Oh,” was all she said. “Yeah. That’s right. You—um—yeah.”
“Listen, I’m sorry about that.”
She shrugged. “You already apologized, remember? It’s not a big deal.”
“It is. That’s not who I am. I swear to you. I can be a dick, and I know I’m moody as hell. But my mother raised me better than that.”
“I believe you,” she said softly.
I searched her face for the lie but couldn’t find it. There was nothing but sincerity there and it was baffling considering the Cora Anderson she’d had to deal with. “You do, don’t you?”
“Was there ever anyone? Serious, I mean?”
I leaned back and stretched out my legs. “Nah. I mean, even before all this, before we left home, I dated. A lot. But I never let it get far.”
“No one caught your eye?”
“Plenty caught my eye,” I said with a grin. “But you’ve spent some time with me.” I couldn’t help laughing when I realized that aside from Kori, Ash had actually spent more time with me than anyone I’d ever dated. “I’m kind of hard to swallow after a while. Like I said, I am who I am. That’s not going to change. I’ve never played by the rules and I was always in trouble for something—usually dragging Cade along for the ride.”
“See,” she said with a shake of her head. “There you go again. Trying to build yourself up as this huge asshole. And I’m sorry. I just don’t see it.”
“No?” A chill crept into my tone. “I am an asshole. This whole thing happened because of me.”
I tried to close my mouth. I desperately wanted to stop the shit that was about the come oozing out. But I couldn’t. A part of me didn’t want to. I’d been walking around with a two-ton brick of guilt strapped to my back. One that not even Cade was aware of. I knew what he thought. That I was grieving and self-destructing because I’d lost my sister—one of my best friends. And he was right—but he was also wrong.
“I blew her off. We’d made plans that morning, Kori and me. We were supposed to go climbing. Our favorite place just outside of town. She went to get ready and I ran down the road for coffee.” Every night I relived that day. Over and over. “Deena Sands. I blew her off for that bimbo, Deena Sands. She caught me in the parking lot. I’d been chasing her for a while.” My voice cracked and I swallowed what felt like a mouthful of rocks. “Kori was so pissed at me. She said she was going herself and hung up on me. I felt bad, but I went with Deena anyway.”
“You couldn’t possibly—”
“Afterward I met up with Cade. We grabbed lunch and he said Kori texted him. Told him to meet her at home. We went. I figured I’d just apologize and we’d be good. We found her—I was pre-med. My sister died, she bled out in front of me, and I wasn’t able to do anything to stop it.”
I had no idea when it’d happened, but at some point, Ash must have moved, because when I looked up, she was sitting next to me. Her pointer finger, the thing so damn small compared to my own, poked me lightly in the chest. “Seems to me like you’re carrying a hell of a lot of poison in there.”
“Just what I deserve.” I grabbed her hand, but instead of swatting it away like I’d intended, I threaded my fingers through hers and held on like she was the only thing keeping me tethered to the earth. It I let go, then I’d be gone. Drift into the oblivion I’d been so damn intent on drowning myself in and never find a way back. “My sister died furious at me. She died because, as usual, I was being selfish.”
“When I was in the basement at Infinity, Cora and I had a little chat. She told me the truth. This world’s Rebecca Calvert worked for her. She lost her daughter—I died here—and couldn’t function. Cora stole me from my world and gave me to her Rebecca, but that wasn’t enough to win her loyalty. Cora had her skipped because Rebecca was going to betray her. Before she got rid of her and my father, she made sure she told them not to worry about me. She told them she intended to take me in and make my life a living hell.”
“Jesus.”
“And she did. My life was seven different kinds of hell. But I survived, and now that I know the truth? That every horrible thing Cora did to me was because she was trying to get back at my mom? I don’t blame her, Noah. It wasn’t my mom’s fault that Cora was unstable. She had no way of knowing what effect her actions would have on me. She might not have been my mother, but I know she must have loved me. For Cora to have made that threat…” She took a deep breath, then blew out slowly. “There is no way that you could have known Dylan would attack her that day. There is no way that, if she could be here right now, she would blame you for what happened.”
It was a nice thought. Fluffy and warm and meant to soothe. And maybe it did—a little bit. But the guilt was still there. I had a feeling it would always be there. This wasn’t the kind of thing you could just wipe away with platitudes or time. Still, it felt oddly freeing to tell someone the truth. To talk. “Tell me what it was like. Growing up in that house.”
She sagged against the cushion, hand still in mine, and let her head fall back. “It was kind of like having whiplash,” she said with a soft snicker. “We would go out to all these parties and functions. She would parade me around in these ridiculous dresses and do my hair in obnoxious curls with these sparkling pink bows… To anyone looking on, she was a doting foster mother, completely taken with the kid she yanked off the streets. Utterly adoring. But if anyone had looked, really opened their eyes, they would have seen the truth. Every day she would start the morning by telling me how worthless I was. How useless. Every night she would cap it off by telling me how lucky I was that she’d felt sorry for me and taken me in. I was no one. Unlovable and without merit.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Sure it is,” she said. “Now. But try imagining those things being said to a kid. Try imagining the damage that did. You beat that into a kid’s head and it’s going to stick. I think maybe that’s why things happened the way they did. With him, I
mean.” She waggled a finger between us, then gave my hand a quick squeeze. “We—all of us—have this thing, and I guess I misread it. I was so desperate to find something that was my own, to find someplace I fit, that I just forced it even though in my heart I knew it wasn’t what I wanted it to be.”
She yawned and I realized how tired she must be. We’d all been going nonstop for days. I was used to it. Cade, too. Kori was still getting used to it, but Ash was probably thrown way off. I readjusted and wrapped my free arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer.
She followed without hesitation, like it was the most natural thing in the world, and rested her head against my shoulder. “We’re a pair, aren’t we?” she said through another yawn.
My eyelids were getting heavy, too. “Sure are.”
This was the point where I’d get up and get gone. In some ways, that conversation had been the most intimate thing I’d shared with a girl. I should have been feeling twitchy and raw. Instead, I found that I was content and comfortable. Ash’s breathing evened as she drifted closer and closer toward sleep. She made a soft sound as she snuggled in, the warmth of her washing over me in soothing waves. I didn’t have the energy—or inclination—to move her. Or myself.
“This’ll be a first,” I mumbled. “Never actually slept with a girl before…”
God. I was going to miss her when she was gone.
...
There’s that eerie feeling when you’re just waking up. The one where you know, in no uncertain terms, that you’re not alone. I wasn’t. I’d fallen asleep with Ash on my shoulder. Before I even opened my eyes, I knew she was still here, still asleep and breathing softly, curled up against my chest as though she’d been made to fit there. No, the eerie feeling was from something else.
Someone else.
I kept my eyes closed and carefully shifted so that Ash was clear, then I opened them. The lights were off—Kori no doubt. She hated when I left them on and always followed behind me and flipped them off after I’d passed out. It took a second for my vision to adjust, but the second they did, I was in motion.
I let go of a growl and launched myself off the couch at the figure standing over us. We collided and he grunted, blocking my first blow and rallying with one of his own. He landed it, but ended up only clipping my shoulder. I twisted on impact, but recovered and swung hard for his face. It was right about that time that Ash jumped up and turned on the lights.
“Noah, stop!”
The sudden brightness was blinding, but when everything mellowed, I saw that I’d been attempting to pummel G, not Dylan. I shoved him away and hauled myself off the floor using the corner of the coffee table. “What the hell are you doing standing over me in the dark, jackass?”
G climbed to his feet and stumbled back a few feet, glaring. “Wanted to make sure I had the right room. It’s dark, jackass.”
“Yeah? Well, skulking around us wearing that face is like sporting a suicide wish, man. How the hell did you even get in here? The place is supposed to be locked down.”
G glared at him. I followed your PATH. It skipped me into the room.”
“Noah,” Kori said from the doorway. “Easy, okay? He has no idea what’s going on. He doesn’t know anything about Dylan or why you guys hate him.”
She had a point. Another annoying point.
“Since everyone’s up, we might as well get this rolling,” Cade said. He appeared in the doorway behind Kori, rubbing his eyes and yawning. “G, we’re trying to formulate a plan of action to take down Dylan and get Ava back.”
“Sera,” Ash supplied when G’s brow lifted in confusion. “Sorry. This must be really disorienting for you.”
He shrugged, but said nothing, taking a spot on the other end of the couch, as far away from me as possible. Perfect. He might not be our Dylan, but like I’d told him, simply walking around with that face was a dangerous thing to do.
“Ideas?” Cade said.
“Not like we can try bargaining with him. He’s got what he wants now. There’s nothing to trade. No way to draw him out.”
“What about telling him there’s something wrong with the chip?” Ash suggested. “I mean, it’s technically not working right now.”
Kori came around to the front of the couch and shook her head. “He’d never buy it. Not unless Rabbit himself was there to confirm it, and since he’s dead…”
“Ash’s Rabbit is dead,” I said.
“But maybe the one on this earth is still around.” Cade grinned. Great minds and all. “We’d have to hustle. There’s not a lot of time and he might not even be here.”
“He’s here.” Rabbit was the one thing we’d found on every single earth. “All we have to do is find him and ask. He’s always down for shenanigans.”
“Unless he’s like Ash’s Rabbit.”
“Yeah. Let’s hope he’s more like ours…” I went to the phone and dialed the front desk. “Yeah, hi. This is suite three forty-two. I was wondering if you could look up a name and address for me. An old friend I’d like to visit with while staying in town. Yes. His name is Phillip MaKaden.”
“Hold please,” the receptionist said. There was a soft beep as she placed me on hold. When she returned, she gave me the information and said, “Will there be anything else for this evening?”
“Yeah. Could you possibly call me a cab or something? I think I’ll drop in on him now.”
“A cab, sir?”
Huh. Maybe they weren’t called that here. “Or, like any kind of car service? A ride?”
“I’m sorry I’m unable to do that at this time. It’s after nine p.m. The lockdown has already been initiated. I will have a car waiting at sunrise, though.”
“Oh. Okay, yeah. Thanks. I hung up and turned back to find everyone staring. I stood and went to the door to find that it wouldn’t open. “So apparently we’re locked in.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Ash
“Locked in?” Kori jumped from the couch and pushed Noah out of the way to try the door herself. She had the same result he had. “Why the hell would they lock us in?” She glared at him. “You just had to steal someone’s wallet, didn’t you?”
“The whole place is locked down from what the clerk said. I guess it’s a thing, here.” He winked at her. “I promise the po-pos aren’t coming to drag you away. I’m not adding to your budding criminal record.”
“Criminal record?” I found it hard to believe Kori had a criminal record. Noah on the other hand…
“Oh yeah,” he said with a snicker. “She’d a hardened criminal.”
“I got in trouble with the police once. For vandalism.” She jabbed a finger in Noah’s direction. “All the other times were his fault.”
“You got her arrested?” That was something I could believe. I wished I could have seen him in his element.
“Only a few times.” He was fighting a grin.
“A few times?” Kori shrieked. “Try eleven. He’s gotten me arrested eleven times.”
“Minor infractions.” He waved his hand and rolled his eyes. There was a definite gleam of mischief there. “Chump stuff. Though the kangaroo thing was funny as hell.”
Cade snickered and Kori glared at him. He cleared his throat and quickly looked away, but I could tell he was still laughing.
“Kangaroo thing?”
Noah didn’t try to hide his grin, which was something he should definitely do more often. The guy had the most amazing smile. “I might have convinced her to break a kangaroo out of a zoo.”
I glanced at Kori, who had turned a pretty awesome shade of red. “What could he possibly have said to convince you to steal a kangaroo?”
“Technically I was liberating the kangaroo, not stealing.” She narrowed her eyes at her brother. “As for what he said—”
“I’d just come back from a walk and Kori was still up. We’d just gotten to that world so everything was pretty much an unknown. I might have convinced her that I found our mother and that she needed our h
elp.”
“…By freeing a kangaroo?”
“He had me convinced Mom was the kangaroo,” Kori said sheepishly. “He insisted that this world had the ability to change people into animals.”
I tried not to laugh. “Still….that’s a huge pill to swallow.”
“It is,” she agreed. “What he’s not telling you is that I was still drunk from the previous world and new to skipping. I had no idea what was out there—and what wasn’t.”
Noah slapped his leg and let out a shrill whistle. “Party world! Oh my God that place was fucking awesome.”
“In my defense, I had no idea what I was drinking. What’s next?” She poked him in the chest. “Are you going to have me kidnap a buffalo?” Kori was trying to maintain her anger, but with each exchange, it melted away.
“I was actually thinking of bringing you back to monkey world.”
Kori’s eyes widened. “You wouldn’t dare…”
“Monkey world?” That sounded horrible! “There’s a monkey world?”
“We landed on a world where they viewed monkeys as sacred. The damn things were everywhere,” Cade said. His grin was as big as Noah’s.
“One jumped down from a tree and crapped on Kori’s shoulder.” Noah snorted.
“Yep.” Cade tugged a piece of his hair. “Then it tried to pull her hair out.”
“I slapped it away—which was apparently equal to going on a murder spree with a chainsaw—then called it some choice words as it ran away.”
Noah was laughing now. Grunting and doubled over. “She—listening to her curse at that stupid animal—it—it was—”
He couldn’t finish, and Cade was laughing just as hard, so he couldn’t add anything to it. Kori was trying to look annoyed at the both of them, but she couldn’t hide her grin. I almost felt like I was intruding. They had an amazing dynamic and it was impossible not to feel the synergy. It was exactly the thing I’d always longed for…so why was I choosing to walk away?