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“So… you want him to stay, huh?”
“Of course, silly. My brother has essentially been gone for the last ten years. I love having him home, and I don’t want him to leave again. ”
“Yeah… but, this is a shot he probably shouldn’t pass up,” I point out. “It could set him financially, and he still has a lot of career ahead of him. ”
“I know,” Casey says with a shrug of her shoulders. “And if he goes, I’ll support him. But that doesn’t mean I want him to go. You don’t want him to go either, right?”
“Of course I don’t… I mean, I do… but I don’t. You know?”
“No. ”
“I mean… I want him to be happy, and if surfing is what makes him happy, then he needs to do that. ”
“Agreed,” Casey states emphatically. “But there’s something else, so spill. ”
“It’s just… I’m going to be miserable if he goes, but there’s no way I can ever push him to stay. In fact, I’m feeling like I need to push him to go, so he won’t have any regrets. ”
“That’s natural to feel that way, girl. ”
“Yeah… but… I overheard him talking with Brody this morning, and he specifically said he’s thinking about not going because of me. I can’t let him do that. ”
“You said there’s no way you could ever push him to stay, right?”
I nod, slurping up the last remaining bit of my drink, looking at the empty glass sadly, and then smiling big when the waitress magically appears and sets a full one in front of me. “It’s not my place. ”
“Exactly,” Casey says and slaps the table. “Just like it’s not your place to push him to stay. Take the pack off, Gabby. He’ll come to the decision that’s best for him, and we’ll just both secretly hope that he’ll stay. ”
“I feel bad that I’m secretly hoping he’ll stay. ”
“It will be our little secret, okay?”
“‘Kay,” I tell her and take a deep drink.
And just like that, my problems seem to be solved. I’ll fully support Hunter in his decision, but I’ll secretly hope, pray, light candles at church, and offer up a virgin sacrifice, if only he’ll stay here with me.
And I also pray that if he does stay, he doesn’t come to regret it, and he most specifically doesn’t come to regret staying because of me.
22
“Five ball, corner pocket,” I say as I line up my shot. Drawing my cue back along the valley between my thumb and forefinger, I focus on the orange ball, drawing an imaginary line from the pocket, straight through the ball, across the table, and to my stick. Pulling back, I release a gentle tap on the cue ball and watch as it smoothly rolls toward the five. Knowing without a doubt my shot was perfect, I don’t even stay to watch the five sink into the pocket, but start moving my way around the table to line up my next shot.
“You still haven’t lost your touch, dude,” John says in reverence.
“Yeah, well, owning a bar does have its perks. I get to practice a lot more. ”
John laughs as he leans on his own pool cue, scratching at the beard on his face. “Remember that little bar in Peniche we were in, and they had that beat-up, old pool table that had a huge groove right in the middle. And we had to structure all our shots around it?”
Smiling, I nod, “Seven ball… side pocket. ”
Sinking the shot with ease, I stand up and look at John. “And remember that Portuguese girl that came in, betting us ten euro a ball? She kicked our asses. Knew every way around that damn groove in the table. ”
Chuckling, John says, “Yeah… those were good times. ”
“The best,” I affirm.
Leaning over to take my last shot, I tap the far bumper with my cue, indicating a bank shot, and then nod to the bottom left pocket. Just as a draw my stick back, John says, “Let’s make a bet on this shot. ”
Cocking an eyebrow at him, I ask, “What do you have in mind?”
“How about if you miss it, you really tell me what’s on your mind as far as surfing again? None of this wishy-washy shit you’ve been handing everyone. ”
“And if I make it?”
John shoots me an evil grin. “Then you still tell me honestly what’s on your mind. ”
Bending over, I do a quick line up, pull my stick back, and give a short punch to the cue ball. With perfection, it hits the eight ball, banks off the back bumper, and rolls cleanly in the bottom pocket.
I throw my stick on the table, indicating I’m done, and glance across the bar. Sasha is engaged in a game of darts with a few of the locals, so I have some time to talk to John privately.
I walk over to a corner table and sit down, waiting for John to follow. Sipping at my beer, I look out across the bar again and watch Sasha. John follows my gaze but patiently waits for me to talk.
“I loved your sister,” I tell him candidly.
“I know,” he says softly. “But not enough. ”
“No,” I agree with him. “Not enough. ”
John has always been the type of friend that I could lay anything on… without fear of judgment or reprisal. When I was eighteen, I competed in a pro event in Australia, and the waves were massive. The competition was the fiercest I had ever been among. Part of the sport of professional surfing is trying to beat your competitor to the wave. It takes determination, aggression, and power, something that I usually didn’t have a problem with at eighteen, because I was just cocky enough to have all of those qualities in spades.
I remember watching the heat before mine, trying to get my head into the zone. I watched as a young newcomer…fuck, I can’t even remember his name now, snaked his opponent by cutting in on his wave, and then doing a vicious cut-back, causing the fins of his board to hit the other dude and slice into his ankle. It was an egregious move that got him disqualified and ended the other dude’s career because it severed his Achilles tendon.
It was at that moment that I realized I was in the big leagues, and I had a wave of uncertainty crash through me, causing my heart to skitter out of control and my stomach to cramp tight. John was standing beside me, and I didn’t even have to say anything, but I did… because I knew I could and I knew he’d understand.
“Fuck,” I told him, my voice quaking. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this. ”
He brought his hand up and clapped it around my neck, giving me a slight shake. “You’re ready. Doesn’t mean it’s not scary, because it is. Use that fear to make you smart. ”
He affirmed my fear, didn’t hold it against me. That empowered me more than anything did, because he taught me to embrace it and use it to my advantage. Any other person out there would have called me a pu**y and probably destroyed whatever healthy ego I had at that young age.
Not John though. He mentored me through it and showed me I could trust him. Over the years, he’s been there for me time and again, handing out sage wisdom, slapping me on the back of the head if necessary, and generally being there to pull my head out of my ass when warranted.
“Gabby’s different though,” John says softly, breaking into my ruminations.
I look at John, taking in the understanding bend in his eyebrows, the way his eyes are non-judgmental and accepting.
“I love her more than surfing. She’s more important than surfing. You can throw all the money in the world at me, you can guarantee that I’d win every competition… none of it is better than Gabby. I can’t leave her, John. I don’t want to leave her. ”
“Then don’t,” he says simply, as if it were really just that simple.
I mean, it really is just that simple to me, and it’s nice to know that John sees it the same way. I’m not sure why it’s so complicated for everyone else that has weighed in with their opinion.
So that’s that.
I’m not taking the deals; I’m not going back on the tour. I’m going to stay here, run Last Call, and be with Gabby. Taking a deep breath and letting it out, I feel like the weight of the world has
been lifted from my shoulders and it feels f**king fantastic.
I search deep within… look for signs of uncertainty, fear, or regret.
I come up empty.
All I feel is excitement about my life with Gabby, back home with my friends and family. I don’t even feel a pang of sorrow for leaving my surfing career behind.
This is absolutely the right thing to do.
Turning to John, I grin. “I’ll call Keith in the morning and give him the bad news. He’s not going to be happy. ”
“Bad news about what?” I hear from behind, and see Sasha sauntering up to our table. She takes the seat to my left and looks at me with curiosity.
“I’m not going back on tour,” I tell her, still smiling with mega wattage on the inside.
Sasha’s brows furrow, and her lips flatten out. “You got to be f**king kidding me. You’re going to give all of that up?”
“Looks like,” I tell her lightly.
“You’re a f**king idiot. And let me just guess… you’re giving it all up so you can be with your precious Gabby, right? Un-fucking-believable. ”
“What the hell is your problem?” I snarl at Sasha.
At the same time, John says, “This is none of your business, Sasha… stay out of it. ”
Her head flips back and forth between us and she chooses to address me instead, her voice venomous. “I’ll tell you what my problem is… I tried to get you to leave the tour for me, and you wouldn’t even consider it. But you’ll do it for her? Gotta tell you, Hunter… it f**king stings a little. ”
I stare at her incredulously. “You mean your opinion on this comes down to jealousy? You want me to leave this all behind and go back on tour, just so you don’t remain the one woman I wouldn’t give it up for? You want to lump Gabby in with you? Well, I’m sorry, Sasha… but Gabby is different from you. My feelings for her are different. ”
Sasha reels backward, and she looks like I just slapped her in the face. Instant regret washes over me, because while I’m angry with her, I don’t want to hurt her. I know I’ve done that enough.
“But… but… you’ve not been with her that long. You and I were together for almost two years. Why would you risk your career for such an unknown?”
Reaching across the table, I grab Sasha’s hand. “I’ve known her most of my life, Sash. Far longer than I’ve known you. But that doesn’t have anything to do with it. It’s just a feeling I have… that this is the right thing for me at this moment in my life. ”
She stares at me for a moment, disbelief coating her face. Then she pulls her hand away and stands up from the table. “Excuse me… I’m going to go to the ladies’ room. ”
As she walks away, I turn my head to John. “That went well. ”
“Sorry, dude… that was bound to come out. Sasha’s been carrying some bitter feelings obviously. ”
“You know I don’t want to hurt her, right?”
“I know, man,” he says as he stands up. “I’m going to go hover like a big brother and catch her as she comes out… talk to her a bit. ”
“Sure,” I say, my thoughts already leaving Sasha and John behind, wondering what Gabby’s up to.
As John walks away, I pull out my phone and dial my girl. She answers on the fourth ring, just as I was about to hang up.
“H-e-e-e-e-y babe,” she drawls.
Oh, yeah… she’s tanked.
“My Gabs is drunk tonight, huh?” I laugh into the phone.
“Just a little… more like really, really buzzed. ”