* * *
Tomorrow the sky had cleared and the sun appeared. My introspection returned again to Jordan. Had he waited for me in the moonlight on the solitary shore? I realized that I had broken my promise. Would he be there again tonight? Was he even real? My heart had fallen for a phantom that might be as imaginary as the one in my novel. Was it possible to be in love with a ghost? Cassandra seemed to think so. Perhaps my subconscious had invented him as a distraction from my sister's death -- and the reality that I had never truly been in love. Here, my other half had already fallen in love, married, given birth to a child and died. And my life had not even begun. I was in limbo -- waiting. But waiting for what or who? Could my destiny be with him? And had I actually seen the future?
All these questions haunted me as I drove back to the library. I focused my attention on finding a book for my niece, one that would be age appropriate.
Looking through the children's section I spotted one titled My Friend Jamison. I opened the cover and read the blurb on the inside jacket.
"Ten year old April lives with her mother in an isolated wood. Abandoned by her father, she retreats into a world of storybooks and falls in love with Jamison, the young hero. In her fantasy, Jamison becomes real and brightens her world until the day he must leave. "
This was perfect since it was about an imaginary friend. Without me having to preach to her, I could have this book do all the work for me.
I checked out the book for Cassandra and headed back to Hathaway Hall. It was already late afternoon and I remembered that the sun would be setting soon. My thoughts returned again to Jordan, my imaginary friend on the beach. When the dusk collected and the dark shadows descended, he would appear to me again in my own private sanctuary, a landscape carved in sand and bathed in a sea of dreams.
When I got back, I handed my niece the library book. Cassandra had a twinkle in her eyes as she gazed at the cover. It depicted a young girl holding the hand of a ghostly boy. She glanced up at me and smiled.
"Devon was just here while you were gone. I told him you were going to get a book for me from the library. I can’t wait for him to see this."
"You know, Cassandra. Why is it that Devon is never around when I'm here? Is he afraid of me?"
She sat quiet in thought before she answered. "Actually, I asked him that question this afternoon."
"And what was his response?" I prompted her.
"Devon told me that I am the only one who can see him. He's tried to appear to other people, but has never been successful in getting their attention." Then she turned back to me. "I'm sorry, Aunt Laura, I really wanted you to meet him."
"Well, that doesn't look like it’s going to happen anytime soon." And I thought how Cassandra had not seen Jordan from the window. Perhaps it worked both ways.
"For the next hour I want to spend some time in your math book, and then we can read the first chapter of My Friend Jamison. Remember, tomorrow is Saturday and you'll be free from me and having to study."
After we finished, I excused myself and went to my room. It would be sunset in a couple hours, so I had enough time for a short nap.
I lay down on the bed, closed my eyes, and fell asleep. I dreamed of a field of wild clover that kissed the horizon. There was an elegant white stallion grazing there. I stroked the steed's mane while carefully mounting him. Suddenly the he bolted and began sprinting across the meadow. And as we galloped, two hands encircled my waist from behind me. On the ring-finger was a familiar amethyst. They were his hands... Jordan Harmon. As I looked back, his sapphire eyes consumed me with a never-ending thirst. Then his lips parted into a broad smile, and his voice breathed against my neck.
"Laura, come away with me.
His hand smoothed back the hair from my face to gaze into my eyes.
Looking down, I noticed the meadow had been replaced by sand, for we were trotting along the shore near the lighthouse.
"Laura," he spoke my name louder, as the dream began to fade. I opened my eyes and was transported back to my bedroom again. And there he was, standing before me, in front of my window.
"Jordan," I sat up astonished. "How did you get in here?"
His eyes smiled as he came closer to me.
"I have my ways," he replied softly.
Then sitting on the bed beside me, Jordan stroked my hair back as he had in my dream.
"Are you real?" I asked him.
"What do you think?" he replied.
I shook my head back and forth.
It might be a dream inside of a dream. Which reminded me of an old Stan Laurel joke: “I was dreaming that I was awake, and then all of a sudden I woke up and found myself asleep.”
"I don't know what to think,” I began, “I must be still dreaming."
Then his hand reached out and ran his fingers down the side of my face.
"If you are dreaming, then promise me you'll never wake up."
I stood up and surveyed my room. This did not appear to be a dream. Everything seemed genuine and not an illusion. I pinched the back of my hand and indeed felt pain. That was most definitely real!
I turned around to see if he was still there.
Jordan remained by my bed with a haunted expression upon his face. He looked as if he had lost something very dear to him, and I realized that something was me.
"Why are you here… in my room?"
After a short time he spoke.
"I wanted to make sure you were safe. I didn't see you on the beach last night."
My heart tightened with guilt.
"I'm sorry about that, Jordan. It rained yesterday, otherwise I would have come."
He seemed puzzled by this.
"It didn't rain last night." he said.
"Is that so? I must have fallen asleep early. Forgive me for not coming."
Jordan was quiet for a moment.
"I'm just relieved that nothing happened to you."
Breathing out a sigh, he sat on the bed and gestured for me to join him.
A queasy schoolgirl feeling tingled somewhere inside. My mouth had become dry as I attempted to swallow.
"You can trust me, Laura." he coaxed.
And he seemed to know my thoughts.
"I don't even know you, Jordan."
I defensively took two steps back.
"I just met you the other night. You seem trustworthy, but I really don't know anything about you…" I was going to add the word “yet” when I recalled the vision of us on the cliff.
Jordan gestured again to the place beside him. His eyes were inviting me.
"Come and sit next to me, and ask me anything you like -- anything."
Ironically, I did feel like I knew him, and that scared me. He motioned with his hand again and I finally relented, joining him on the bed.
His eyes were mere inches away and seemed to peer deep into my soul. They were luminous like the depths of the sea with the breath of the ocean. Melancholy tides of forever.
Jordan took my hand and placed it on his heart. Then suddenly I had a new vision. This one was more intense than the last. I saw the two of us upon the shore making love, as the tides rolled in to cover our nakedness.
I withdrew my hand in astonishment.
"What's wrong, Laura?" His eyes studied me, searching for an answer.
I lowered my head down in embarrassment, for I didn’t know what to say. But when I finally spoke, my words even surprised me.
"Are we lovers?" I ventured.
His lips curved into a smile.
"There's a part of you and I that are joined forever, and yet we have never been together."
He put a subtle emphasis on the word ‘been’ giving it a provocative connotation.
"What does this all mean?" I implored. "Am I losing my mind?"
Jordan's hand softly stroked my long hair as his eyes brimmed with compassion.
"When you close one eye, you cannot hear everything," he said mys
teriously.
His words were cryptic. What did they mean and how did they apply?
"We share something that very special. Trust me; it will become clear in time."
"But it all feels so crazy now." I admitted.
His lips brushed against my forehead.
"You have returned so we could be together again, and I will never leave you."
An idea began to blossom in my mind.
"Have we ever met before?" I asked. Could I have somehow forgotten him? But as I beheld his lovely face, I knew that could not be possible.
"A part of our souls met long before your arrival." he began. "And when I look at you now, I can see yesterday again."
He breathed out and I felt him on my face.
"You have resurrected the past, and brought me back to life."
Indeed, I was more confused now than before. It was like he was speaking some unknown language that my mind could not translate.
"Tell me what this means." I pleaded.
But as I spoke, there was a knock on the door.
"Aunt Laura?" Cassandra called from outside. "Are you alone?"
I was both startled and confused.
Jordan rose beside me and placed his hands on my shoulders.
I frowned at him, unsure of my response to my niece.
He bent close to my ear and whispered. "Go ahead Laura. Open the door."
As he spoke those words, I realized this would be the defining moment, the truth of his existence. If my niece saw him, then he was real, and if she didn't -- well, I would cross that bridge when I came to it.
I walked quietly to the door and opened it. Cassandra sauntered in, regarding the room as if she had lost something.
"Who were you talking to?" she seemed puzzled.
My eyes gaped open as I spun around to see that Jordan had completely vanished. So either he was a ghost or I was losing my mind.
"There's no one here, Cassandra. I may have been thinking out loud, I do that sometimes."
She seemed satisfied with my answer and sat down on the bed.
"I wanted us to read together from my new book." she explained.
I glanced at the clock on the desk. It was already after eight, and well past her curfew. I must have slept longer than I thought.
"First we need to get you to bed."
"I would fall asleep much quicker if you read to me," she said sincerely.
I studied her for a moment before giving an affirmative nod.
Then returning to the room upstairs, I prepared her for bed. As I read Cassandra the second chapter, her eyes grew heavy and sank into slumber.
Leaving a night-light on, I retreated to my room with the realization that I was indeed alone, and that whatever was happening was very real. I shuddered as I considered the chilling alternatives of what that could mean.