Now he was looking at her. His gaze hungry, missing no detail of her features. Almost seeing into her soul, discovering her secret, aching love for him.
“Tell me why you’re leaving. Is it because of me?” He couldn’t seem to help himself as he lifted his finger to trace her lips. Her breath caught, and his face darkened as he watched.
Kiss him. Tell him it’s him and that he’s going to be a father! But while all these impulses rampaged through her, she drew back an inch and considered it a good moment to retreat before she truly lost her senses. She’d lost them once. Now she was pregnant. She didn’t want to castigate him for that night, a night she had been wishing and praying would someday happen. She didn’t want him to pay with his whole life. She simply loved him too much.
Kate shook her head and glanced away. “No, it’s not you.”
Spinning away before she could lose her head, she hugged herself and stared into the house, where there was light and music and smiles everywhere.
“You could be carrying my—” Garrett cleared his throat behind her “—you could be pregnant, Kate.”
The air felt static as she turned back to him in alarm. “Excuse me?”
The intensity in his eyes terrified her. “We didn’t use protection, Freckles.”
She shook her head. Fast. Almost too fast.
“You’d tell me if there were consequences, right?” he asked meaningfully.
Her world tilted on its axis. What if she went ahead and told him that she was having his child? Her stomach cramped at the thought.
She was loath to worry Molly a day before her wedding. Kate was the eldest and had cared for her like a mother, had always set a good example. How could she bear detracting from her sister’s joy right now?
She had to wait until after the wedding.
She bit her lip, glancing away. “Whatever happens, I meant what I said. I’m not marrying ever without love.”
“Why? Do you love another man?”
Swallowing, Kate met his stormy black gaze. “No, Garrett. It would have been hard for me to love anyone, when my whole life I’ve been in love with you.”
He blinked at her words.
God.
She couldn’t believe she’d said them.
But she had.
She had to come clean.
She glanced away, blushing. “That’s why I slept with you that night, Garrett. And that’s why I’m leaving. I want to be loved back.”
He stared at her as though flabbergasted, motionless and unmoving.
“We need to go. Dinner is about to be served,” she murmured and went inside.
He didn’t follow her for minutes, and from inside, she saw him leaning on the balustrade with his face in his hands, breathing hard.
Her insides knotted with pain for him. Maybe she shouldn’t have confessed it. But Beth was right. Kate was a coward, afraid he’d hurt her. She’d had to at least let him know that all the time they’d spent together had meant everything to Kate, even when she knew he had not ever been emotionally available to love her like she wanted him to.
Garrett was a fair man. He was a man who recognized his own flaws, maybe even to the extreme extent that he saw flaws where none existed. She knew he felt...unworthy. That he believed a man had died because of him. But he was also generous and giving, and he wouldn’t be able to stand the idea of causing Kate any pain.
He’d let her go so she could find what she was looking for, especially once he recognized that he wouldn’t be able to give it to her himself. And he’d marry his heiress, for whom he wouldn’t need to feel anything. But at least Kate had stopped lying to him and to herself about not loving him anymore. At least she’d told him her real reasons for leaving.
Baby or not, she would still go.
Once they were seated at the tables in the formal dining room, she felt him stare at her as intently as ever from across the floral centerpiece.
Waiters brought over the salads first—arugula, organic pear, goat cheese and candied pecans, topped with a soft vinaigrette dressing with a hint of pomegranate. That was followed by an assortment of lamb, duck, beef tenderloins and chicken medallions, accompanied by the most deliciously spiced vegetables Kate had ever tasted.
She ate whatever she was served and almost still felt a little hungry. But most of all, she was conscious of everything Garrett did on the opposite side of the table. Under the table, she held her hands over her stomach, where she could feel and sense her baby, feeling almost nostalgic that the father was so close, and didn’t even know what he’d just given her.
She stole peeks at him throughout the night as idle conversation abounded. When their eyes met, emotions and confusion flooded her.
Once they were enjoying a variety of sorbet, cheese, and sweet desserts, Landon pushed his chair back and stood. “Cheers! To Julian and Molly,” Landon said, and glanced at Garrett.
Kate saw the manner in which Garrett nodded somberly at Landon, almost as though saying, “You’re next,” and Kate jerked her eyes down at her plate, the nausea suddenly coming back with a vengeance.
But no matter how fervently she wished it, there was no taking back her I love you.
* * *
The next morning, all three Gage brothers sat across the conference table from their half brother. Garrett noticed how Landon and Julian were taking stock of their brother. Emerson was beastly in size, very large and muscled. As president of his personal security business, it seemed fitting, but today Emerson was also proving to be a very moody man. He’d seemed impatient to leave from the moment he arrived.
It seemed truly unjust to Garrett that his father had treated Emerson and his mother the way he had. And when he’d died, he’d ended up hurting everyone, for the truth easily had come to light. Their lawyers had had to explain to the Gages, once they took over all the financial accounts, why there were so many transfers and payments made to an unknown woman.
When they’d learned it was because this woman had borne a Gage son, Garrett’s mother had entered a wild depression for years, and he didn’t even want to think of how it had been for Emerson and his mother. It had hurt the Gages to lose their father to death, but the pain of losing him while he was living might possibly be even worse.
Now every bit of pain and resentment marked Emerson’s hard, unyielding features. Garrett couldn’t know the true extent of his resentments, but he’d bet they ran deeper than the man let on. His energy was too controlled, and his eyes were too ruthless and sharp to reveal his emotions.
Garrett knew it would hardly matter to Cassandra which man she married as long as she got out of her brother’s clutches, and he and his brothers would be happy to compensate Emerson for the task.
If, that was, they could convince the stubborn man to agree to this whole scenario.
With a bleak, tight-lipped smile, Emerson finally spoke after Landon explained the situation. “If this chick is as hot as you all say, why don’t you marry her?” he asked, silver eyes trained on Garrett.
“Garrett’s not inclined to marry,” Landon answered. He sat calmly in his leather chair on the opposite side of the conference table.
“Well, that makes two of us,” Emerson said with a growl. “I’m never marrying, especially no damn heiress.”
“You might like to reconsider with what we’re offering,” Landon said, signaling at the open folder sitting before him on the table. “You’ll be a very rich man, Emerson, if you agree to this.”
“I’m already very rich without needing to deal with any of you.”
“Emerson, we’re talking fifty million for your take alone. That’s almost ten million a month for just marrying her.”
“Why don’t you do it?” he persisted, glaring at Garrett.
Garrett wasn’t going to tell him why.
But he still remembered Kate in his arms on the terrace last night. He’d been so damned excited to have her in his arms. He’d wanted to make love to her again, had been more than ready to physically. He could have moved back so that she wouldn’t notice, and perhaps she hadn’t, but instead he’d remained in place, his every sense attuned to her, to the contact of their bodies—the press of her belly against his erection. He’d wanted to press harder into her, to devour her and break her every resistance until she gave him everything he wanted, and admitted to everything he needed to know. At the same time, he wanted to protect her from everything and everyone.
He hadn’t pushed, but he knew the thought of leaving was killing her. He knew Molly’s wedding had to get to her. Kate was a woman. And she was the older sister, almost like a mother to Molly.
He wanted her. Needed her with a force he’d never needed anyone in his life. Physically, he wanted to be with her again, but it was more. It had always been more with her. She loved him....
But he wasn’t going to tear his guts open in front of Emerson, not even in front of his other brothers, so when silence reigned, Emerson sighed and rose.
“Sit down, Emerson. I’m planning to marry someone else,” Garrett snapped, scowling because he’d had to let the cat out of the bag.
Emerson plopped back down and cocked a brow. “Should I start renting a tux?” he asked, his cockiness reminding Garrett of his younger brother, Julian, somehow.
“Rent it for your own wedding. You won’t be coming to mine.”
“My own wedding is tomorrow and we need this engagement settled. So are you in, or are you out, Emerson?” Julian demanded.
Emerson eyed Julian, then Landon, then Garrett, then Landon again. “There’s only one thing that would ever tempt me to agree to this farce.”
“Name it and it’s yours,” said Landon with his business voice.
“I want the Gage name. I’m as much his son as you are. My mother provided a paternity test, and he refused to acknowledge me. I want it acknowledged today. If I get my rightful name, you have a deal.”
Garrett crossed his arms and eyed Landon, who seemed to be the one most reluctant to grant Emerson’s wish. Garrett wasn’t against it. The Gage brothers had no right to withhold something their own father should have granted his kid in the first place, but they would need to talk to their mother first. She was a just woman, but she might need some time to get used to the idea of a fourth Gage in town.
In a terse but quiet voice, Landon spoke at last. “When you go through with the marriage and quietly walk away from Cassandra without trouble, we’ll amend our former agreement so you can become a Gage.”
Emerson rose to his feet. “I’ll need to get it in writing.”
“Of course,” Landon assured him.
“So do we arrange for them to meet?” Julian queried, rising, too, probably eager to leave to get his other business in order before his wedding and honeymoon.
“Do whatever the hell you want,” Emerson snarled. “Just tell me when and where I get to meet my wife.”
“So, it’s done then,” Landon concluded, still keeping up his cool facade. But once Emerson stalked out of the conference room, Landon sighed wearily and scraped a hand along his face.
“Mother’s going to throw a fit.”
“Let’s not tell her yet. He’s not a Gage until he carries through...and he might fail,” Jules said. Then he swung his full attention to Garrett. “So do you have something to tell us, bro?”
Garrett knew what he was referring to, of course.
It would have been hard for me to love anyone, when my whole life I’ve been in love with you.
She’d killed him with those words. He’d been replaying them in his head all night, dying in his bed, aroused and pained when he relived them. He wanted her by his side. He wanted every inch of her. Now, his chest swelled with emotion as he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small blue velvet box. He opened it and extended it so that both his brothers could see the ring nestled at its center.
Julian chuckled and swung his head up with a look of incredulousness. “That ring is obscene, man. I’ve never seen anything as obscene in my life.”
Garrett scowled at him. “Tiffany and Company doesn’t do obscene.”
“But you do.”
Ignoring the jibe, Garrett studied the brilliant rock. It was the whitest, the purest and yes, the biggest he could find in seventy-six hours. An 8.39 carat, D, internally flawless round brilliant, in a solitaire platinum band. And he had every intention of putting it on Kate’s ring finger.
“I need to make a statement,” he murmured at Julian, who seemed to be amused by the fact that Garrett had gotten himself in this mess in the first place.
“Statement. You mean like ‘I’m a jerk and I had to make up for it with a big rock’?”
“Go to hell.”
“Tsk, more respect, old man. You’re marrying my fiancée’s sister.”
“If she’ll have me,” he grumbled.
“A little drastic of you to do this just so she doesn’t move to Florida, don’t you think?”
Garrett snorted.
He just wouldn’t let her leave.
For years, he had seen that need in her, calling to him like a siren song. He had needed to summon more self-control every year not to cave in. He had prayed she would one day realize she was too good for him and move on. Now, he needed to prove to her the opposite. He needed to remind her what that night had meant to him, how it could have been between them all along if two deaths and a lot of regret hadn’t stood between them.
He freaking loved her, too. More than anything or anyone.
He wasn’t letting her go.
He was ready to chase her to Florida if he needed to.
He held the ring between his fingers and watched it catch the light. The man at the store said it was guaranteed to make a statement, and when Garrett had said, “Guaranteed to make her say yes?” he’d nodded amiably. If only the man knew half of it. That she could be pregnant with his child.
His stomach roiled once more at the thought, and he snapped the velvet Tiffany box closed.
If she wasn’t pregnant, he couldn’t wait for her to be.
She wanted a family. He hadn’t realized how much he wanted one, too, until now.
He imagined being a father in eight months.
She didn’t seem to want to consider the possibility, but he did. Hell, he even hoped she was pregnant. Because she’d have to take me no matter what.
It had been years since he’d had a father. Kate herself probably no longer remembered what her father had smelled like, felt like. Garrett barely remembered his own. But he could remember how good it had felt to have him around, and he burned with the desire to be one himself. Protective and just, but he wanted something their fathers hadn’t given them.
He’d once thought he’d never marry. For Kate was out of his reach.
Now he would marry no one else. And he wanted a litter of little kids for them. Girls and boys.
He would bond with his boys over cars and planes, money and business....
As for girls, a picture of a red-haired little girl like Kate popped into his mind, and his toes almost curled with the love he already felt for that little thing he’d pamper like a princess.
Then he thought of Kate when she was young, the age when her father died. His chest constricted at the reminder. Garrett still dreamed about that night, and woke up drenched in sweat, hearing the sounds of gunshots. Sometimes in his dreams they were shooting at Kate and Molly. Sometimes at his brothers. And the worst part was that Garrett survived every time.
And somehow it was always Garrett’s fault.
Would he never do things right? Would his actions always hurt the people he cared about? r />
He breathed out through his nose as he shoved the ring box into his suit pocket. It wasn’t time yet. But it would be. And once he put that ring on her finger, it would never be undone. She would be his.
And he’d spend his life making things right for her. For them both.
Ten
Molly was freaking out in the bathroom of Eleanor Gage’s master bedroom, waving her hands in front of her face as her cheeks turned crimson. “It’s too tight, it’s too tight. Kate, it’s too tight.”
“Molly, you just had it altered.”
“Kate, I’m pregnant.”
Kate’s eyes widened with joy and disbelief. “You are? Molly!” Kate squealed and hugged her, and Molly crushed her in her arms. “Does Jules know?” Kate demanded.
“No! I’m saving it for tonight. I’m almost bursting with excitement and bursting out of this damn dress! I wish I’d just married him in my boho skirt. I know he’d love it because it’s more me.”
“Yes, but you’ve already bought this beautiful designer dress, and now we want you to wear it,” Kate said, shushing her and trying to see where she could loosen the material to give her some air while Molly hyperventilated.
The dress had a lovely bell skirt and a tight top—very much like the bridesmaids’ dresses that Kate and Beth wore, except the bridesmaids’ dresses were blue.
“Molly, relax, you look stunning,” Kate assured her. Molly nodded, and their gazes locked in the mirror. Kate’s eyes began to tear up. “I love you, you know that?” Kate said softly, patting Molly’s bun, which needed only the veil to be perfect.
Molly turned and squeezed Kate’s hand, then placed it over her stomach—where she carried Julian’s baby. “I want to beg you not to go, Kate. Especially now.”
Kate could almost feel the connection between both their babies as she touched her sister’s belly. Her throat constricted with the need to tell her sister she was pregnant, too. She imagined sharing all things pregnancy-related with Molly and her heart swelled. “I don’t want to go, Molly. The thought of not seeing my niece or nephew and not being here for you...” And of my child not being close to people who would offer so much love. “I’m just afraid.”