Chapter Eleven
The more days I spent in high school, the more days I wondered why. It wasn’t the most pleasant four years of my life the first time around. Thank God, I didn’t go back to the ninth grade. “I would have shot myself in the head.”
“Excuse me? Is there something you would like to say, Ms. Fenton?”
Glancing around the room at the laughter, I shook my head, rolling my eyes at the blatant immaturity, and turned back to Ms. Gresko. “Actually, I was just thinking how I’m never going to even think about a complex number that isn’t even really a number but can be written as a real number, so I can multiply it to the imaginary unit i. Why do we need to know this?”
The shocked expression from my teacher was due tomy outspokenness, but the only thing I thought about was how I wished Royal could see me now. “You need to know this to pass the test on Friday. Is there something else you would rather I teach you, Ms. Fenton?”
The snort was on accident, and I have no idea where the rest even came from. I was never that kid. From the moment I got there, my day had gone just like this, and I hadn’t even made it to lunch yet, but my mouth didn’t seem to want to shut up. “How about how to change a tire, self-defense, bullying, how to avoid drama, how to respectfully challenge authority, how to take out a loan, how to express gratitude, the difference between equity and equality, how to get a passport, how to manage money, how to—.”
Ms. Gresko stopped my rant just when it was getting good. I could have gone on and on with the experiences I’d had. “That’s enough, Jessica.”
I glanced around the class, speaking for us all. “Right, it doesn’t matter if we’re broke as hell, at least we know the Pythagorean Theorem. The next time any of us will even see this stuff again is when our own kids bring it home from school. That’s a fact.”
“Are you finished?”
“Yes.”
My English class afterward wasn’t a whole lot better. Not that I wasn’t interested. I really was, and I’d forgotten how much I loved creative writing, but I had other problems I hadn’t even considered. Cramps. No wonder I was so irritable. Having the twins wasn’t easy on me, and I ended up having a full hysterectomy before they were even one. Periods were something I hadn’t had to deal with for a long time and something I did not miss.
Leigh was in my English class, but she was too busy passing notes with Thomas Mallari to see me trying to get her attention. Feeling like I might have already started, I raised my hand.
“Yes, Jessica. The point is?”
“Um…the point?”
“Yes, of legal writing. You raised your hand.”
“Oh, I just need to use the restroom.”
For the second time that day, I was laughed at by the entire class, but unlike the first time I’d gone to high school, I wasn’t embarrassed, and I really didn’t even care. I thought it was the most ridiculous thing ever that I had to even ask to get up and go to the bathroom in the first place.
“Go, Jessica.”
Taking the offered hall-pass, I walked out of class holding my breath. I hadn’t made it a full two weeks yet, and already I hated high school. This time, for different reasons. All I wanted was a chance to do it again but not all this. “I only came for Royal,” I said to myself. Out loud, of course.
A kid I didn’t remember responded from the other side of the hall. “Royal? The new kid with the sideburns? He’s in the office.”
I stopped because he had my full attention. “Why? Is he in trouble?”
“I don’t know. Probably.”
Instead of using the restroom on the third floor, I skated down the stairs to the first floor for more reasons than the need of a pad. Without even knowing where to look, I opened the door and turned to the right. Right to Royal sitting there waiting to see the principal.
“Yes, what do you need, Jessica?”
“Oh, um, I need a tampon.”
There were five people in the office, not including Royal and me. All of them, including Royal, stared at me like I’d suddenly grown an extra eye, and I didn’t understand why. “What?”
Ms. Johnston, the head secretary, was the one to speak. “You okay, Jessica?”
“Yes, what do you mean? I just need a tampon. What’s the big deal?”
Ms. Johnston walked to the closet, took out a pad, and handed it to me over the counter. “The big deal is we don’t say certain things around boys. It makes them uncomfortable,” she said, nodding to Royal like she needed to remind me he was there. “And you know we only have pads.”
I glanced to Royal and back to the pad. “Oh yeah, I forgot about that stupid rule.”
“I don’t make the rules, I—.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. You enforce them. Thanks,” I said, trading the hall pass for the pad. Turning to walk out, I stopped and looked down at Royal and did something I’d never done in all my years of school and employment: “You want to get out of here?”
Royal stared up at me, his eyes noticeably widening in surprise. “There’s my Jessie. Hell, yeah.”
I didn’t have to turn around to monitor the expressions on everyone’s faces to know they weren’t sure what just happened. Even Ms. Johnston was stumped. “Hey, wait. Where’re you going?”
Royal took my hand and, side by side, we ran down the front steps together.
“You drive. I’ve got to jump in the backseat for a second.”
Royal started the car and backed out while I jumped in the back to investigate. Thank God, I didn’t even need the bulky pad, but it was the epiphanythat caught me off guard. There was nothing to hide from Royal, and I forgot to be who I’d been taught to be around him. All I had to be was me. When I was with Royal there was no yesterday and no tomorrow. There was only right now, and I wanted that more than anything else. This peace I felt with him, the freedom, and the no matter what unconditional love I felt with him was the lesson here, but that didn’t mean I had any of the answers. Not yet anyway. Although I could have done without the whole school thing, I didn’t want to leave this – leave him.
“Oh, my God, Royal. I’ve never ditched school.”
“You’re joking.”
Shaking my head from side to side, I climbed over the seat, meeting his lips as they moved toward mine. “I’m not joking.”
“Well,all right then, Bonnie. I’ll be your Clyde. Where to?”
“Do you want to go to the mall?”
“The mall? What the hell would we do there?”
“Pac-man, Donkey Kong, Centipede, Frogger …the game room.”
“Certainly not. I was thinking more like jumping on the tracks and going for a ride or something. Oh, I know. Let’s go down to the river and hop on a barge. Karen has told me lots of times she’d stay with my dad, so I could go do something. We’ll stop at the store and grab some peanut butter and bread. Want to?”
“That sounds like a lot of work.”
“What? Work? What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. What if we get caught?”
“Excuse me while I puke. You just busted me out of the principal’s office to skip school. You’re worried about getting caught?”
“We’re not seven anymore, Royal. There’s no taking us home in the back seat of a cop car. We could go to jail. For real.”
“Go to jail? For what? We’re not going to steal the thing. We’re just going to float the river.”
“I would rather not. I’m having a hard enough time trying to get through this, whatever this is.”
I didn’t have to hear the pain in his tone. I could feel it. “Me?”
“No, not you. I mean, yes, you too, but I was referring to high school.”
“We could go to an amusement park.”
“Kennywood? That’s the closest one, and it’s like a two-hour drive.”
“Hmmm. No, not that one, but this one is a couple hours’ drive too. I doubt you’ve ever heard of it.”
I hated roller coasters, and it wasn’t something sill
y either. I really, really hated them, but it was better than going to jail. “We don’t have money.”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s on me.”
I met Royal’s lips half way and agreed, relying on my heart to be young and strong so I didn’t die of a heart attack. “Okay. Fine.”
Royal stopped and used the payphone at the library to make sure the nurse could stay with his dad, but I didn’t call my grams. I’d just show up later like I always had, only this time I couldn’t play the good kid card. We also ran into the local Piggly Wiggly to grab something for lunch. I’m not sure why we couldn’t have just eaten there. The foodwas the best part about going to an amusement park.Thinking maybe he didn’t have a lot of money, I went along with whatever he wanted to do. I sure as hell didn’t have any.
It was actually fun walking through the store though. I hadn’t even realized I’d missed that old store until now. The old wood floor creaked just like I’d remembered from goingthere with my grams. I used to know where every single creak was, and it used to drive my grams crazy. That was the best part about going to the grocery store.
“Hey, remember when we used to come here with your grams and walk around, finding all the squeaks in the floor? Grab the bread.”
I glanced up at Royal, smiling because I felt like he knew what I was thinking,which happened a lot. We were so attuned with each other – like a sixth sense or twin telepathy. “I was just thinking about that. She used to get so mad. Bread is sixty-nine cents.”
“I know. Highway robbery.”
Laughing, I stepped around the urge to respond with something sarcastic about the prices in the future.
Time with Royal was different than time with anyone I’d ever spent it with. It was in another place. A place where it only existed when I looked at the clock. We talked and laughed so hard I almost peed my pants, passing miles and time like they weren’t even there. Everything around me was in a different color with Royal – colors more vivid and vibrantly alive. As happy as I was though, I couldn’t help but feel a sadness, a longing that wasn’t there yet. It was like I knew I had to hurry. Hurry and do what,though?
While Royal drove us to the middle of nowhere, I tried to read the atlas I found under the seat. “We’re lost. You have no idea where we’re even going, do you?”
“Yes, as long as we’re on old Route 11 we’re good.”
“Royal, we’re in the middle of nowhere. There is no amusement park here. Don’t you think there would have been signs?”
“Do you see Town Road119?”
“Yes, but I’m telling you, there are no amusement parks out here.”
“Does it matter? Haven’t we always found fields of butterflies? Relax.”
Hearing Roxy in Royal’s words, I stared out the window to the narrow road surrounded by dark pine trees on each side of us. It was the truth. No matter where we ended up, it always turned out memorable. I had a lifetime of memories, but not a lot of them were memorable. Royal made my days eventful, and they were never like the day before. And neither was this day. I had a pretty good feeling I wasn’t going to have to worry about riding a rollercoaster.
“There! Yes,” he called, after two wrong turns and three dirt roads.
I raised up, letting the realization sink in while I read the rotting sign covered in poison ivy and rust. “Idle Wild Pines Amusement Park. What is this, Royal?”
“Remember my friend, Zeke?”
“The old man on the cabbage farm?”
Royal pulled the car behind an old stone pillar with a broken cherub, like we were hiding, wearing the biggest smile ever. “Yeah, he told me about this place. It’s been closed up since the late sixties.”
“We’re at an abandoned amusement park, Royal? Why?”
“Why? What happened to your sense of adventure? Say that again out loud. We’re at an abandoned amusement park in the middle of a pine tree forest.”
All I could do was sit there in a puddle of seventeen-yearold peer pressure, watching him get out and come around to my side. I really wanted to protest again, but I knew it wouldn’t do any good. Not to mention, my credibility was dwindling. I’d always been the one trying to talk him into stuff like this. Now, I was the one who needed the coaxing. Nonetheless, I got out.
Royal grabbed our bag and my hand, leading me through a thick patch of pines to three abandoned ticket booths. “Yes, we’d like two tickets, please.
I glanced through the clouded window, unable to hide my smile. Green moss covered the counter, and as creepy as it was, it was beautiful. “Look, there’s a coffee cup. It’s full like they just got up and left one day.”
“Man, I wish I had my camera. How cool is this?”
“We’ll come back. Look at this statue. She’s beautiful.”
“Come on.Let’s get in line for the coaster.”
Royal pulled me along like we were in a crowded park, and all I could do was follow. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little excited myself. Had I known about this place when we were kids, we probably would have hitchhiked here. Trying not to remind myself we weren't six anymore, I ran to an old swing ride. “Remember these things, Royal?”
“Let’s do it. Jump on.”
“No way. There is nothing safe about that thing.”
Royal dropped our food bag, choosing a swing with the front bar already up. “Get your ass up here.”
I lifted myself up to the swing beside Royal since he didn’t bring the whole thing down with his weight. “This is so cool.”
“I know. Give me your hand.”
Lacing my fingers with Royal’s, I mimicked his actions and raised my arm like we were really getting ready to take off. “Ready?” I teased.
“Close your eyes,” Royal whispered.
I closed my eyes and a light breeze blew past us, making it easy to pretend it was real. The sound of leaves ruffled below us, and I could feel the warmth transferring from Royal’s hand to mine. Nothing else existed. Nothing but us.
While my eyes were closed, and my mind imagined the ride lifting and spinning in the air, Royal told me I wasn’t allowed to protest anything for the rest of the day. “You have to ask young Jessie before you can say no to anything else today. Okay?”
“Yes,” I hummed with my eyes still closed, feeling the wind blow my hair.
Next, we moved on to an old train where we sat in the front car. It was the neatest, saddest thing I’d ever seen. So much work had gone into making it something special only to be left abandoned and alone. “This place is amazing. Why’d they close it?”
“It used to be close to a busy train depot and an old coal town. A flood back in the sixties wiped out the tracks and they never rebuilt it. People moved away, closer to the city. Come on, I see a merry-go-round.”
On the next ride I chose a beautiful white horse with blue sequins around her glass harness. It was breathtaking and reminded me of the magic wand and my time here with Royal. “I want to take this horse home with me,” I said, brushing her golden mane like it was real.
“I knew you’d pick a horse.”
We could have spent three days exploring there and not seen it all. It was the best day ever. There was so much, and even when I wanted to protest doing something I didn’t want to do, I did what Royal told me to do. I asked my young Jessie and she shoved me forward – even toward a haunted ship. Royal just had to go through it.
“We’re going to get murdered by a clown. I can feel it.”
“Shhh, that’s not what young Jessie would say,” he countered, continuing to force me to go first.
I spun in a circle, not about to go first this time, forcing his arm around me for protection.“A cell phone with a flashlight would be nice.”
Royal was too busy in awe to even notice what I had said. “Whoa, wicked. One-eyed Willie.”
“Look at the treasures.” I said, pointing to a pirate girl sitting on a pile of gold.
We kissed for a really long time in the old pirate ship at the end,then
walked across a swinging bridge I didn’t want to walk across. “Come on. Let’s find the food court. I’m hungry.”
I laughed despite the wobbly bridge. “You’re crazy.”
“Thanks to you.”
I followed without thinking about that one. My adventures post-Royal consisted of malls, shopping, tanning by a pool, and hanging with friends.
Royal jumped behind the counter of Ye-Ole Saloon and took my order. “Hello, prettygirl. Welcome to Dreamland Pines where all your dreams will come true if only you believe. Would you like to try our peanutbutter and jelly special today?”
“Why, yes. That’s exactly what I came here for.”
Royal prepared our sandwiches behind the counter while I walked around and explored my other food choices. A french fry place with ketchup bottles still on the shelf, a pizza shop with an old crow in the middle, eggroll city, and an icecream shop with icecream still in the round containers beneath the glass. Grass grew between the cracks on the white brick, and vines with little purple flowers had taken over the poles and all the bannisters, but it was the coolest thing ever.
“Oh, darn, the ladies room is out of order. We have to use the one by the slide.”
“There’s a slide?” Royal asked with more excitement than I cared to hear.
We ate right there in the deserted food area, talking about the place, wondering where to go next. It was crazy. I swear we pretended to ride every ride there, and we went down the slide. For real. A giant blue slide with four waves that used to go into the water. It landed in nettles now, but luckily a spring still flowed into a section where you could once pan for gold,which we did.
“Jessie, the roller coaster. Come on.”
High on excitement, I followed, running to the rollercoaster like we were two little kids without a care in the world.
Royal stopped at an old wooden sign telling us we were halfway there, and sighed. “I’m so tired of waiting.”
Once we made it to the front of the imaginary line, Royal waved me into the first car, holding his hand over his mouth like he was the attendant. “Welcome to Rock Mountain. Please keep your hands inside at all times. This ride is fairly safe. Good luck,” he added with a wink while pulling the old rusted lever, sending me on my way.