“What’s that in your hand, Puck?” Sabrina asked suspiciously.
“It’s my latest creation. I call it a glop grenade. Allow me to demonstrate,” Puck said. “All you do is pull the pin, count to three, and throw it. The unfortunate moron in its path is sprayed with all manner of disgusting rubbish. This one is filled with fur balls and chili. You’re going to have to take a lot of showers to wash this off. You’ll probably have to burn your clothes, too. So where was I? Oh yes, one . . .”
Sabrina lifted her hands to show him they were clenched into fists. “You throw that thing at us, and it will be the biggest mistake of your miserable life, fairy boy.”
“Two,” Puck continued, unimpressed.
Sabrina watched him wind up to throw the grenade, and with reflexes faster than she even suspected she possessed, she snatched her little sword from her coat pocket and brought it down on his hand. He cried out and dropped the device. It hit the ground and rolled toward a tree, exploding an icky brown-and-yellow slime all over the bark. The frigid air quickly hardened the substance into an icy shell. Unfortunately, the air couldn’t freeze the revolting aroma that wafted into Sabrina’s nose. She almost gagged.
“You’re going to pay for that, snotface,” Puck snarled, but Sabrina was no fool. She was already on her feet and pulling Daphne down the path.
“Look at the piggies run!” she heard him cry. “Silly piggies! You can’t outrun me.”
He was probably right, but she was going to try anyway. She ran as fast as she could, stumbling along as she lost her footing over and over again on the slippery terrain. Daphne was having just as much difficulty.
“One! Two! Three!” she heard Puck shout, and another foul-smelling explosion splattered the ground just inches away. Luckily, Daphne pulled Sabrina back in the nick of time.
“C’mon!” The little girl shouted as she fled from the path and into the forest.
“No! That’s what he wants us to do!” Sabrina cried.
“We don’t have any other choice,” Daphne said as another glop grenade exploded onto the tree next to them.
They ran through an outcropping of tightly packed frozen maples. Sabrina hoped the trees would provide the girls with cover for a moment so she could think about what to do next. But her hopes were dashed when she spotted the trees’ inhabitants. Hiding in the branches above the girls’ heads was an army of chimpanzees dressed in white-and-gray camouflage overalls and wearing matching soldiers’ helmets. Each chimp was holding one of Puck’s glop grenades in its long, furry hands. The sight of them brought the sisters to a screeching halt.
“OK. No sudden movements,” Sabrina said, recalling her first encounter with Puck’s primate privates. They were a nasty bunch, but if the girls were careful, they might get away from them. “Just be quiet and take a slow step backward.”
Daphne did as she was told while Sabrina kept an eye on the chimps. The beasts made no motion to attack. They just stared at the girls with a dull curiosity.
“They’re going to let us go,” Daphne said. “They’re nice monkeys.”
Sabrina cringed when she heard the first angry shriek. Before she knew it, all the chimps were gnashing their teeth and jumping up and down in the branches.
“What’s wrong?” Daphne said.
“They’re not monkeys! They’re chimpanzees, and they’re very sensitive about it,” Sabrina explained as the first of the grenades exploded at their feet, splattering the ground in what looked like brown gravy and mayonnaise. “We should run!”
To be continued …
Michael Buckley, Once Upon a Crime
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